“I’m not leaving,” Isaac snapped, pounding a fist on the table. “Not yet.”
Nathaniel’s eyes widened. “You’re not?”
“No. Not until you’ve heard me out. In the time we’ve known each other, have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?”
Nathaniel’s face took on a thoughtful expression for a couple of seconds, then he met Isaac’s gaze. “No, I suppose not.”
“Well then, I’m asking you to trust me now. There’s a good reason I can’t tell you anything. Unfortunately I can’t tell you that bloody reason either. I know it sounds like bullshit, know that it makes me sound totally flaky, but I’m telling you the truth. In an absolutely ideal world this thing would not be happening and I’d be taking you up on your offer of spending time together and seeing where it goes without a speck of hesitation. But I can’t expect you to be with me when I’ve got this thing hanging over me, because it takes up a lot of my time and I can’t talk about it. It’s a big part of my life that would be totally off-limits to you, and it’s not fair. It’s not fair on anyone.”
Nodding slowly, Nathaniel replied, “Well, what about if I just pretended there wasn’t a…thing? We just see each other as and when we can, no pressure from either side. We’ll spend time together, have fun and talk about everything except…the thing.”
“You’d be willing to do that? Seriously?”
Nathaniel shrugged. “Everyone has their issues. Christ, I’ve got a fair few of my own. It’s just that you can’t talk about yours. I’m not saying it won’t be hard for me, because I genuinely care about you and want to help, but I’ll just have to be there for you in other ways. And there’s no reason I can’t comfort you even if I don’t know exactly what’s upsetting you.”
“I never said the…thing upsets me.”
There was a pregnant pause.
“You didn’t have to. Your tone and your body language speak volumes. Whatever it is, you’re not happy about it and it makes your life difficult. I’m just glad that you’ve got Matthew to talk to about it, so you’re not totally alone. There’s someone to share the load.”
“How do you know Matthew knows?”
Now Nathaniel looked utterly confused. “You said it was a family thing. You told me your parents were dead, and you’ve never mentioned any other relatives. So unless you’ve got some secret family stashed away somewhere, who else could it be?”
Isaac heaved a sigh of relief and mentally kicked himself. He was going to have to be more careful about what he said. Paranoia and snapping at Nathaniel were just going to make him suspicious and likely exacerbate the problems he was so desperate to avoid if they got into something.
Christ, he thought, am I really about to do this? Really about to go all in with this man, this gorgeous fucking man, and have some attempt at a normal relationship, despite the fact I can’t tell him my biggest secret?
He gulped as Nathaniel reached across the table and placed his hand over Isaac’s, squeezing it.
Fuck, I really think I am.
“O-okay,” he said, working hard to get the words out before nerves choked him into silence. “Yes. Yes, on those conditions, I’d like to give it a go. Exclusive, spending time together, seeing where it goes. I’d love to.”
Nathaniel’s eyes glinted with mischief as he shot him a smile, then he slid from his chair and got to his feet in one fluid movement. Taking a step around the table, he helped Isaac up out of his own seat. Pulling him close, he said, “Wanna go upstairs and make it official?”
“Christ, yes. I really bloody well do.”
“Come on then.” Nathaniel led him from the room and up the stairs. It wasn’t the first time they’d been in this position, doing this exact thing, but Isaac was more nervous than he ever remembered being in his life. His heart pounded and he was sure his palm was growing increasingly slick against Nathaniel’s. Wiping his free hand down his jeans, he tried hard to get a grip.
Come on, Isaac. The sex is nothing to be worried about. You’ve done it before, and you’ve done it before with him. It’s nothing new. It’s just…you’ve committed to something now. There’s officially more to this than just the physical. But unofficially, you’ve had feelings for him for ages, so it won’t feel any different. Just go with the flow, see what happens. And for Christ’s sake, calm the fuck down!
Once they were in the bedroom, Nathaniel let go of his hand and went to clear a couple of books off the bed. They were quickly tidied away into a drawer, but Isaac made a mental note to ask about them later—they’d looked old. Leather-bound, he suspected. Historical documents or something. Cool. His hottie was also a book nerd—in Isaac’s eyes, that made him even more attractive. If such a thing were even possible.
“Ready?” Nathaniel, having closed the door and the curtains, turned to him with a wicked grin and outstretched arms.
Stepping eagerly into his embrace, Isaac replied, “More than ready.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Nathaniel’s big hands cupped Isaac’s face as he leaned in for a kiss. He caught just a glimpse of those mischievous green eyes before he closed his own, giving himself over to the brush of Nathaniel’s lips and the tongue that already quested for entry into his mouth. He wrapped his arms around the other man’s trim waist.
As their kiss deepened, turning into something both tender and passionate, Isaac was stunned by the intensity of the feelings running through him—need, lust, happiness, completion. They were still fully clothed, yet already he felt a type of satisfaction, something he didn’t remember ever experiencing before. It seemed to come just from being in Nathaniel’s presence, in his arms. It was more to do with the man himself than what they were actually doing. Or were about to do. Was this love? Had the conversation they’d just had allowed him to unlock a part of himself that had been shut away for so long? Allowed him to realize the depths of his feelings for Nathaniel?
Nathaniel shifted a hand down to cup Isaac’s bottom, squeezing it hard before yanking them closer together. Two stiff cocks battled for space, growing thicker, longer, as they ground against each other. A moan escaped Isaac’s lips and was immediately swallowed up by Nathaniel as they continued to kiss even as their hands wandered, explored, squeezed, groped.
Shoving the thoughts of love and emotion away for now, Isaac concentrated on the here and now. Not that it took any effort—the feel of Nathaniel’s body against his, his lips, his tongue, his hands, were distracting enough that an earthquake could have shaken the house and he probably wouldn’t have noticed.
Reaching up, he slid his hand up to cup the back of Nathaniel’s neck and pulled his face even harder against his, forcing them into a bruising, almost painful kiss that still didn’t express even a portion of the horny desperation he felt. Their tongues fought and caressed, teasing and tantalizing until they were both breathless. Isaac was on the verge of becoming lightheaded and he pulled away with a gasp.
“Christ,” he panted, leaning his forehead against his lover’s, blinking hard to battle the blurriness of Nathaniel’s face being so close, “I already feel as if I’m going to explode. I’m so hard. I want you so fucking much.”
Dimples appeared in Nathaniel’s cheeks and he grabbed Isaac’s hand and shoved it between their bodies, where he pushed it against his straining dick. “You’re not the only one. It’s been a pretty intense half an hour or so, hasn’t it? That and it’s been a while since we last fucked.”
Fucked. The word, formed by Nathaniel’s perfect lips, was both rude and incredibly erotic. They were together now, so they were going to do so much more than just fuck, but equally there was probably no other way to describe it. Making love seemed…well, girly somehow, and even now, with them having done nothing more than kiss and grope, he knew it was going to be an experience laden with explosive need, dizzying lust and lots of other good stuff. Sex was just…lame. It felt clinical, like a description in a nonfiction manual. No, what they were about to do couldn’t possibly be called anythi
ng other than fucking.
Regardless of title, Isaac was ready to begin. “Yes, it has. Too damn long if you ask me.” He pulled in a deep breath, grinned. “And you know what? I’m not going home until we’re all fucked out, okay? So I hope you’ve got plenty of rubbers and lube.”
“Don’t worry. We’re all set to screw until we can’t walk, can’t see straight, until our balls scream with the effort of producing more cum, and whatever other analogies you’d like to add to that.”
“Sod adding to the bloody list of analogies. Let’s do it.” Stepping back, he began to remove his clothes, glancing up every now and again to see Nathaniel doing the same, revealing his long, luscious body one perfect inch at a time.
They stood feet apart, naked and erect, drinking each other in. Nathaniel licked his lips, then reached down and fisted his cock, pumping it slowly up and down. “Fuck, Isaac, you’re perfect. Utterly perfect. I look at you and I just can’t decide what I want to do. Suck your cock, have you suck mine, fuck your arse, have you fuck mine, or just trail my tongue over every millimeter of your delectable skin until you’re writhing underneath me and begging me to do…anything.”
Groaning, Isaac grasped his own shaft, squeezing it gently. Too much pressure and he’d go off like a rocket. “I know exactly what you mean. God, if there was a way to fuck each other’s arses at the same time, that would be perfect. Amazing.”
Nathaniel smirked. “Yeah, it would. But you know what we can do, which I’m sure will be pretty awesome too?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“I can do better than that. Get on your back on the bed and I’ll show you.”
Striding over to the bed, Isaac shot back, “You don’t need to tell me twice.” He settled into the center of the mattress, his head on the pillows, watching to see what Nathaniel would do next.
Lying down next to him, Nathaniel slanted his lips over Isaac’s, giving him another soul-stealing kiss before murmuring, “Just had to do that again first. I can’t get enough of your mouth…on any part of my body.” He winked and let out a chuckle before rotating a hundred and eighty degrees and getting into a position where they could suck each other off at the same time.
Grinning, Isaac looked up at the heavy shaft that was descending toward his face. Reaching up and gripping Nathaniel’s hips to guide him into position, he caught a glimpse of his tattoo before it was obscured by his lover’s cock and balls swinging and swaying in front of his eyes.
Wrapping his fingers around the base of Nathaniel’s shaft, he guided it toward his mouth, poking his tongue out and tentatively sweeping it across the tip. He was still getting used to the piercing, but he enjoyed toying with it nonetheless, especially since it seemed to drive Nathaniel crazy—in a good way. Flicking the metal bar back and forth, he paused momentarily as a hot, wet mouth engulfed his shaft and began to do a similar thing—minus the piercing, of course.
Isaac realized then that a sixty-nine could be as torturous as it was tantalizing. Nathaniel was clearly willing to play him at his own game. So if he teased the tip of Nathaniel’s cock, Nathaniel did the same to him. If he stroked and sucked but didn’t quite do enough to send him over the edge, he got the same treatment. The natural temptation would be to suck long and hard and deep, ensuring his own climax as well as his lover’s, but where was the fun in that? Teasing and being teased were part of the fun. If he’d simply wanted to get off, he could have gone home and masturbated.
Being here with Nathaniel was a million times better. No, a billion.
He continued to lick the tip of Nathaniel’s cock as if it were an ice cream, enjoying the salty taste of precum as it seeped out of his hole. Wanting more, he poked his tongue inside, scooping out more of the juices and allowing the taste to fire off his taste buds. God, was there anything about this man that was not perfect?
Down at the other end of the bed, Nathaniel was still mirroring his movements. In a way, he’d discovered, this made his life slightly easier. The one fault he’d found with sixty-nines was that his concentration was divided between pleasuring and being pleasured, something that could sometimes detract from the experience. But in this case, because he knew exactly what Nathaniel was going to do next, he anticipated it and enjoyed it without worrying about something unexpected happening. There would be plenty of time for the unexpected later.
Having gotten Nathaniel’s shaft very wet with saliva, he took great delight in sucking it into his eager mouth, working his lips farther and farther down the length until he could take no more. The piercing threatened to make him gag, and only the fact that his own cock was on the verge of being deep-throated stopped him from pulling back. Instead he pulled in a deep breath through his nostrils and slowly, carefully took in more of Nathaniel’s dick until his nose was buried in the black pubic hair at its base. The act of doing it was almost as arousing as having it done to him, and all his hairs stood on end as need coursed through his veins. He already had Nathaniel, but he still needed him, needed…something.
Gathering up some of the saliva that coated his lips and chin on his fingers, he reached around toward Nathaniel’s buttocks, seeking his puckered hole. He located it quickly, smearing the fluid over and around it then pressing one finger eagerly into his back entrance. A strangled moan escaped Nathaniel, causing his throat to squeeze around Isaac’s glans.
It was like a chain reaction—now Isaac moaned at the extra, unexpected stimulation and pushed his digit deeper inside his lover, who had regained enough of his senses to attempt to do the same. Isaac’s rear hole was more difficult to access given the position they were in, but one plus point was that it was already wet with Nathaniel’s saliva, gravity having carried it from Isaac’s shaft and balls and into his crack.
Isaac pulled back and slipped another finger into Nathaniel’s arse even as one long digit penetrated his own. Awkwardly, he twisted his wrist, trying to gain the angle needed to seek out Nathaniel’s prostate. After a couple of minutes’ persistence, he got there without dislocating anything and began to work it as he gulped around the tip of Nathaniel’s cock and flicked his tongue anywhere else he could reach.
Nathaniel caught up with him and they got into a rhythm, sucking, licking and finger-fucking each other until they could take no more. Nathaniel tumbled over the edge first, his rear hole quivering and clenching around Isaac’s fingers as his cock stiffened further, then emptied his balls down his lover’s throat, all without stopping what he was doing to Isaac.
Following close behind, Isaac had barely pulled away from Nathaniel’s cock and slipped his fingers from his bottom before his own orgasm was wrung out of him in a flurry of movement—a bobbing head, a wicked tongue and questing, pressing, stroking fingers. He let out a surprised yelp as a line of fire ran down his spine, centered at its base, then shot out of his shaft. Fisting the sheets, he held on tight as Nathaniel licked and sucked every ounce of spunk out of him, swallowing it all down with relish.
As his climax abated, Isaac felt as though his entire body were weighted—like trying to swim in clothes. He relaxed, allowing himself to sink deeper into the mattress, floating with the delicious hormones that buzzed through his system.
Nathaniel gently disentangled himself and flopped onto the mattress beside him without turning around. “Fucking hell,” he said, his gaze raking up Isaac’s supine form before settling on his face, “that was…amazing. I’m sure there’s a better word but it’s all I can come up with right now. My brain is fried.”
Smiling lazily, Isaac replied, “I know what you mean. I feel as if I’ve melted or something. I can feel nothing and everything all at once.”
Slowly, clearly fighting his own physiological urge to doze off, Nathaniel turned around and crawled up the bed, snuggling in beside Isaac. They reached for each other, arms shifting around until they found a position they were both happy with, which ended up with Nathaniel curled into Isaac’s side, his head resting on his shoulder.
Pressing a
kiss to the mussed-up black crop of hair next to his cheek, Isaac let out a contented sigh.
Tilting his head back, Nathaniel looked at him, a curious smile on his face. “What are you thinking about?”
“Oh, nothing much.”
“Come on, tell me.”
“You won’t laugh?”
“Not unless you tell me a joke.”
Landing a playful slap on the other man’s back, which happened to be where his hand was resting, Isaac said, “All right. I was just thinking that if this is what a relationship is like, I’m both disappointed and glad I’ve never had one before.”
A line appeared between Nathaniel’s eyebrows. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It does to me. What I mean is that, in a way, it’s a shame I’ve never experienced anything like this before. Perhaps I’ve missed out. But on the other hand, I’m glad I haven’t had it before, because now it’s with you. You’re my first and I’m happy about that.” He wanted to add And I hope you’ll be my last,but it seemed too much, too soon. That and, unless somehow Isaac died before Nathaniel, it probably wouldn’t be true, as much as he was feeling it then.
He shoved thoughts of death and almost-immortality forcibly from his brain. This wasn’t the time or the place to be thinking about shit like that. Especially not when Nathaniel started to pepper kisses across his shoulder and neck, nuzzling into that spot between the two and sending delicious sensations zinging through his body. His cock had clearly taken note too, and was beginning to awaken once more.
Pausing momentarily, Nathaniel said, “Okay, it makes sense now. And that was a beautiful thing to say, thank you.”