Grabbing his boots, Matthew stepped into them and laced them up, then retrieved the gloves and headed back outside, closing the door behind him. A pang of regret hit him. Who was he kidding, thinking about the village women being devastated that they were barking up the wrong tree? Everyone was barking up the wrong tree if they thought they had a chance with Isaac. The agreement they’d made all those years ago was a sensible one but it was sad. Tragic, actually. They’d essentially agreed to give up any chance of love, of happiness, in order to keep their secret safe and to stop people from getting hurt.
Collecting the hedge clippers, he marched back over to where he’d been when Isaac had arrived and got straight back to his task, hoping the physical exertion would help him to disappear into his own little world, as it had since he’d started. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, and his thoughts continued to plague him.
He’d managed pretty well, really, having had only the odd occasion over the years to lament his self-imposed single status. Of course he had Natalie and Tamara to pop and see in Sheffield or Manchester, respectively, when he was feeling like some female company. That made things a damn sight easier for him, he knew, as did the fact that he could go somewhere out of the village and have a one-nighter. Isaac could too, he supposed, but because he wasn’t openly gay, it made things more complicated.
Sighing heavily, he set about attacking a laurel bush with the clippers. It really was shitty, he decided, that his brother was in this predicament. Poor guy was probably lonely, so although he hadn’t deliberately sought out a romantic entanglement, he’d fallen into one nonetheless.
Matthew wondered if Nathaniel felt the same. He didn’t know the guy all that well, certainly not well enough to take a guess at his sexuality. He didn’t know what time Nathaniel would get home from work, but Matthew found himself hoping it was early enough that he’d have chance to talk to him before he had to leave for home and then the pub.
With any luck, Nathaniel would be as straight as a die, then Isaac would be forced to get over his crush on the man. But Matthew didn’t think the situation would have such a straightforward conclusion. He’d seen them talking in the Miners Arms the other week, had watched their body language and, as much as he hated the thought, he was fairly certain that Nathaniel was gay too. Or at the very least bisexual.
He didn’t turn around when he heard Isaac leave Nathaniel’s kitchen, lock the door and put the key back under the pot. There was nothing he could say to smooth things over between them. And besides, he was also afraid that his emotions would show on his face. There was no way he wanted his brother to know of the worries that were going through his mind, especially since they were about him.
The mood Isaac was in, he certainly wouldn’t thank Matthew for his concern. And in a way Matthew didn’t blame him. The situation was crap, absolute crap. But what exactly could they do about it?
Chapter Six
By the time Nathaniel got home, Matthew had well and truly taken out his frustration at his and his brother’s predicament on the wayward plants and bushes. The space almost resembled a garden, though there was still a lot of work to do.
“All right, mate?” Nathaniel said from the kitchen doorway. “Want a cuppa?”
Matthew forced a smile, not wanting to take it out on Nathaniel. None of this was his fault—he didn’t have a clue what secrets he and Isaac were hiding, so there was no point blaming him. He just had to hope it didn’t all end in tears. “Hello, mate. Yeah, a cup of tea would be fantastic, thanks.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ll drink that and I’ll have to get going, I’m afraid. The pub calls.”
“All right, no worries. It’s here when you want it.”
Nodding, Matthew cleared away his tools and closed the shed door before heading into the kitchen. He toed off his boots and left them by the door before padding over to the chair he’d sat in earlier. “What are you doing about the waste, Nathan? There’s quite a lot of it already. It’s a jungle out there.”
The other man peered out of the window at the piles of branches and leaves. “I’ll run it over to the tip at the weekend, I think.” He paused, then spoke again. “Bloody hell, that’s going to be a lot of trips, isn’t it?” He turned to Matthew, who nodded again.
“’Fraid so. I dunno what else you’re doing with the place, but if you don’t mind me saying, it might be worth considering hiring a skip. Reckon you could fill a medium one just with this lot. And if you’ve got anything else to get rid of, you’d probably save a few quid by hiring a large one.”
Nathaniel poured the drinks and brought them over to the table, put them down and took a seat. “Yeah, reckon you’re right. I’d probably spend as much driving to and from the tip. Not to mention the mess it would make in my car, the time it would take… Yeah, I’ll price up some skips tonight and make some calls in the morning. I’m on a half day tomorrow. So how’s it going?”
“Not bad, not bad. It’s a big job, as you know, and I just had to start tackling it the best way I knew how. Hopefully once I’ve got all those trees and bushes under control, I can start on clearing the weeds out. Once everything else is tidy, I’ll mow the lawn. Then the whole thing will be much easier to keep on top of.”
“Thanks, Matthew, I really appreciate it. You’ve done a bloody good job already. If you’re up for it, I’d like you to do some planting and stuff, then just keep the garden tidy going forward. You’re obviously a lot better at that kind of stuff than me. What do you think?”
Matthew took a sip of his tea, swallowing the scalding liquid before formulating his response. “Yeah, if you like. It’ll certainly keep me out of trouble. Let me know what you decide when it’s all done.”
“Okay, will do.”
There was a silence that dragged on for a few long seconds, and it reminded Matthew that he was going to try to figure out Nathaniel’s sexuality and whether he was interested in Isaac or not. He wasn’t quite sure exactly how he was going to do that, so he started with the obvious choice of question. “Good day at work?”
“Yeah, thanks, it was all right. I’m still catching up from taking the time off to move in here, to be honest. But I just keep telling myself there’s only so much I can do. No sense killing myself—the work will still be there in the morning. One good thing is it’s making me delegate much more. Never realized how much fun that was!”
Grinning, Matthew replied, “Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes you’ve just got to accept you can’t do it all. And I’ve always thought it’s better to do a good job of one thing than a shitty job of ten things.”
Nathaniel raised an eyebrow, then took a sip of his own drink, looking thoughtful. “I never thought of it that way before, but you’re dead right. I might make that my new philosophy. Okay with you if I steal that bit of wisdom?”
“Ha, I wouldn’t call it wisdom, exactly, but be my guest.” He took a breath, then put his plan into action, hoping it wasn’t overkill. “So, I’ve not seen you in the pub that much lately. Have you got to the stage where you can cook in here, then? Or are you having lots of takeaways and microwave meals? Maybe you’ve got yourself a woman stashed away?” Grinning to show he was teasing, he waited for a response.
It was several long seconds before he got one, and in that period of time Nathaniel’s face had gone through a series of expressions before finally settling on confused. “Um, yeah, I’m cooking in here. The whole interior of the house is pretty much sorted now. I want to decorate, of course, but at least it’s livable now. And I definitely haven’t got a woman stashed away.” He paused, pulled in a breath. “Matthew, you do know I’m gay, don’t you?”
The other man raised his eyebrows, hoping he looked suitably surprised. “Um, no, I didn’t. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just kidding around.”
Shaking his head, Nathaniel said, “No, you haven’t offended me. I just thought you knew. I mean, I don’t wear a badge, but I always thought it was pretty obvious, to be honest. It’s not a pro
blem, is it?”
“Of course not. How could it be? My brother’s gay. And even if he wasn’t, I’ve got no issue with homosexuality. Long as everyone’s happy, I’m not bothered what they get up to and with who.” He resisted the temptation to slap his own forehead. Christ, that hadn’t been very subtle, had it? He might as well have put a sign up on the wall saying, My brother’s gay, and I think he fancies you. How ’bout it? Isaac was going to kill him if he found out.
“Oh. Oh right. I didn’t realize. I mean, I had my suspicions but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure.”
“Don’t tell him I said anything, will you, mate? He’s not actually out. Nobody else knows. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Oh wow. Nobody else knows? How come? He doesn’t strike me as a man uncomfortable in his own skin.” Something in Nathaniel’s tone told Matthew that Isaac had a tough time ahead of him—this guy was definitely interested.
“No, he’s not. He just…he’s just had a difficult life generally, so coming out was always pretty low on his priority list. But the longer he left it, the harder it got. And being a village doctor and all…it’s a pretty public job and he wasn’t sure how people would react. So if he mentions it to you, act surprised, won’t you?”
“Why would he?”
Open mouth, insert foot. Damn it!
“Oh I dunno, I just thought you got on well, that’s all. When I saw you chatting in the pub the other week.” Argh, now he’ll think you were spying on them. Just shut up, Matthew, before you say something you’ll really regret.
“I see. Yeah, I guess we did get on well. He’s a good guy, your brother. Don’t know him all that well, though, so there’s no reason for him to tell me he’s gay. Unless he knows I am…”
“I won’t say anything unless you want me to.”
“It makes no difference. It’s not a secret. If you want to talk about me with your brother, I’ll take it as a compliment.” Nathaniel wiggled his eyebrows, deep dimples showing in his cheeks as his grin stretched from ear to ear.
“Hey! I’m not…you know… I don’t swing that way.” He drained the rest of his tea and stood up. “Right, I’d better get going. Need to get showered and changed for work. I’ll have to eat when I get there or something. Bloody starving.” He was rambling, talking crap, and he knew it. But Nathaniel’s comments had thrown him and he hadn’t known how to react. “I’ll be back tomorrow to carry on, providing it’s not pissing it down with rain.”
“The forecast’s good.”
“Grand. See you then.”
“See you then—bye.” His tone remained amused, as did his expression, and Matthew turned abruptly and made to march out of the door before realizing he didn’t have his boots on. He was forced to stay in Nathaniel’s kitchen for several more excruciating moments while he pulled them on, then he left as quickly as he could without looking as if he was running away. Though it was obvious he was—he’d embarrassed himself, spilled one of his brother’s biggest secrets and put his foot firmly in his mouth. Not bad for ten minutes’ work.
Stomping through the village, he let the emotions course through him—annoyance with himself, that he’d set out to find out information and instead given some out, and worry that he’d fucked things up for his brother. Not to mention that if Isaac found out he’d told a practical stranger that he was gay—even though Isaac clearly had the hots for said stranger—he was not going to be happy. And he’d already pissed him off once today.
Perhaps it was a good thing he was cutting it fine, time-wise. He’d only have time to run in and have a shower, get changed then head straight to the pub. No time to chat, no time for Isaac to ask questions. That was definitely a good thing—the way Matthew was blabbing stuff he shouldn’t today, he’d only get himself into more and more hot water with his brother.
Once he got home he opened the door and called out, “Isaac, it’s me! You here?”
The response came from the living room. Matthew could hear the sound of the television. Then it was muted. “Yeah, I’m here.” His tone wasn’t particularly enthusiastic—clearly he was still angry.
“I’m running late, so I’ll have to grab some food at the pub on my break or something.”
“Okay.”
Shrugging, Matthew took off his boots and put them in the cupboard in the hallway before jogging upstairs in socked feet. He undressed, dumping each item directly into his laundry hamper so he didn’t get any dirt anywhere, then headed into the shower. He ached a little from the hours of physical work, so he could have done with standing under the hot, pounding spray for a while, but he just didn’t have time. He’d get over it. His wolf DNA would see to that. After quickly washing his hair and body, he shut off the spray and jumped out of the cubicle, snatching the towel off the rail and hurriedly drying himself.
He quickly combed his hair, sprayed deodorant, slapped on some aftershave and went into his bedroom to grab some clothes. Fortunately the pub didn’t have a dress code as such. Anything that was smart-casual was fine, so he grabbed a pair of jeans and his last clean shirt and put them on. He’d have to stick some washing in the machine tomorrow before he went to Nathaniel’s—then hopefully he could get it dried and ironed when he came home. There was no way he was going to ask Isaac if he’d do it—not with the mood he was in. He’d be more likely to deliberately shrink his clothes in the tumble dryer or burn holes with the iron. And clearly that would start the arguments all over again. After centuries together, they’d gotten arguing down to a fine art. Sometimes really serious ones could last for weeks.
Matthew sought out his work shoes and put them on, sighing. He didn’t want another fight with his brother. Sometimes they were necessary to get crap out of their systems rather than just sniping at each other or harboring resentments. But he much preferred it when they were on the same side, supporting each other.
He’d make it right with his brother either when he got home from work, providing Isaac was still up, or tomorrow morning if he wasn’t. One way or the other he was going to put an end to this silly disagreement.
Heading back downstairs, he fixed the friendliest smile he could summon onto his face and went into the living room. He didn’t have time, really, but it was important, he felt, to take the first step.
“Hey, brother. Just to let you know I’m going to work now. Again. Have a good evening, and I’ll see you later or in the morning, okay?”
Isaac glanced up from the television, fixed Matthew with a stare. Then, seemingly unable to resist his brother’s widening grin, he smiled back, just a small one. “Yes, all right. See you later.” Then seemingly as an afterthought, he added, “Have a good evening.”
Figuring he’d made a start on mending their fences, Matthew said goodbye and left for work feeling much happier.
Entering the Miners Arms a few minutes later, he nodded a greeting to his boss at the other end of the bar, went and punched in, then came straight back out to serve his first customer. Richard Denys stood there.
“Hello, Vicar. What can I get you?”
“Hi, Matthew. Just a half, please.”
He didn’t quite look himself, and Matthew pulled his pint and put it in front of the man, before asking, his voice lowered, “You all right, Richard? You look a bit off it, if you don’t mind me saying so.”
The grin that the man now pasted on his face was so obviously fake that Matthew had to resist the temptation to wince.
“I’m fine, Matthew, thank you. Just a little tired.”
“I don’t believe a word of it. I take it it’s not something we can discuss here?”
The vicar’s face fell and he shook his head. “No, it’s not, I’m afraid. Are you around tomorrow?”
“I’m working at Nathaniel Marsden’s, clearing his garden, but I can pop ’round before I go. It’ll have to be early. Either that or you’ll have to wait until I’m done for the day.”
“Early is fine. You know me, I’ll be up. It won’t take long.” He paid for h
is drink, then turned away from the bar and went to sit down. Matthew gazed after him, confused, wondering what on earth was bothering his friend. Surely nothing else had happened up on the moor, or he’d just have come out with it. Wouldn’t he?
Chapter Seven
Isaac heaved a sigh of relief when Matthew left for work. Most of the anger toward his brother had gone, so it wasn’t that which was bothering him. More that the topic of their conversation or, more accurately, heated discussion, had put a lot of thoughts into his head, ones he couldn’t easily get rid of. He did have the hots for Eyam’s handsome newcomer, and although they’d only chatted that one time in the pub, he knew there was more to it than just the physical. He had no idea whether Nathaniel was gay or whether he liked him back. And did it really matter? He couldn’t pursue anything with Nathaniel, so the best thing to do was to put it to the back of his mind. Even better, shove it into a box in the deepest recesses of his head, then wrap it up in chains and padlock the ends together.
Of course, the more he decided he should forget it, the more his brain wanted to think about it. Fucking contrary organ. What he needed to do was get the man out of his system. Perhaps find out something about him that was so repulsive that his attraction would disappear in a heartbeat. That would be an ideal solution, but how could he go about it?
The idea came to him like the proverbial light bulb. He’d check online. It was much less likely to have the opposite effect than going to the man’s house or heading to the pub to see if he was there. In person, he’d probably end up being distracted by Nathaniel’s looks, the magnetism Isaac felt when they were together. Behind a computer screen, it would be easy. And despite all the ads that flashed up when surfing to say you could find out who was looking at your profile, Nathaniel wouldn’t have a clue he’d been checking him out on social media. An IT manager was bound to be on Facebook, Twitter or something.