“Thank you,” I said and my voice was low, sexy if I did say so myself.
Knight eyed me askance.
“I mean, I couldn’t have come off the Mandrake without you,” I finished. I even dropped my head to maintain the illusion of apology.
He sighed before the beginnings of a smile lifted his lips. “I thought you’d give me a bigger run for my money.”
He had no idea I was about to give him the biggest run for his money he’d ever had. He sat up and allowed me the freedom to sit so I sidled up next to him.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” I continued.
“You just did.” He laughed, his eyes following me like he was a hawk.
I shook my head. “I mean really thank you.” He glanced at me with a funny expression. “I was worried you were going to arrest me,” I finished.
“I had half a mind to…I still do.”
I put my hand on his shoulder and used it to push myself onto his lap, until I was straddling him.
“What are you doing?” he asked warily.
“Something I should have done a long time ago,” I answered and propped his chin up. “I’ve been fighting my feelings for you, Knight,” I started and could honestly say it was the truth. “I’ve talked myself out of wanting you and into thinking you were a bad choice for me.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled it away from his face, his eyes narrowed. “Why is this coming up now?”
“Because you keep protecting me left and right,” I said and ran my finger down the side of his face, surprised by how soft his skin was. “At some point I have to realize you’re a good thing, right?”
“That doesn’t sound like the Dulcie I know.”
Inside I was beginning to panic, wondering if my plan wasn’t going to work. “I just went to hell and back in front of you.”
“I hope you aren’t embarrassed?” he asked and his eyes followed mine as I leaned into him.
“I’m not,” I said and brought my lips to his. His lips were full and when I kissed him, I felt myself getting lost in his taste. I outlined his mouth with my tongue and felt him growing hard against my thigh. I pulled away and glanced down at him.
“I liked that,” he said with a sincere smile.
The need for Mandrake was overwhelming me at this point but I quashed the desire, promising myself that I would have some soon enough. For now, I had Knight right where I wanted him and I couldn’t blow that, not for the world.
“Do you still want me?” I asked as innocently as I could. “I mean, after what we just went through?”
“Want you?” he laughed. “There isn’t a moment where I’m not thinking about you, Dulcie.” His voice petered off as he watched my hands move to the bottom of my tee-shirt. “Yes I want you,” he finished.
There was a part of me that suddenly felt guilty that I was doing this—the old me never in a million years would have stooped to this level and the little voice inside my head yelled as much but the Mandrake part of me told that part to shut the hell up.
I was winning—that was all that mattered.
I pulled the tee shirt over my head until I was clad only in my jeans and bra. Knight’s eyes settled on my bust and I smiled, feeling my power grow. He was like mush in my hands.
“Touch me,” I whispered.
He gripped either side of my waist and pulled me into him, until his face was buried in my chest. And then I felt his lips as they kissed the swells of my breasts. I reached around and unclasped my bra, sliding it down my arms as Knight pulled away, watching me.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered and grabbed my waist again, forcing one of my nipples into his mouth. I moaned out as soon as I felt his tongue and a deep throbbing started within me. I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t acting anymore—the bliss ricocheting through me was as real as it was going to get.
I had to fight to keep control of myself.
“Take your shirt off,” I demanded, wanting to know where his Op 7 was. Focus on the gun and I could control my wayward sexual desires.
He wasted no time in pulling off his shirt and before the beauty of his naked chest could entice me, I caught a glimpse of the holster around his waist. Today was my lucky day.
“Lie back,” I said, and as soon as he did so, I leaned down and trailed his chest with my breasts, feeling the tickle of his chest hair against my nipples. I found his lips again and kissed them. His hands splayed across my backside until he found my ass and spanned each cheek with his palms, pushing me into his hard shaft. I could feel the edge of his Op 7 as it bit into my hip. I needed to get his hands out of the way, so I could grab the gun without interception.
I pushed his hands above his head, sitting up as I hovered over him. I kissed up and down his biceps, my breasts dangling in his face. He groaned and tried to catch them in his mouth to which I laughed, creating the perfect distraction for what I had to do next. I held each of his wrists in one hand and started back down his body, kissing and touching as I did so. My right hand was now inches from the Op 7.
I continued trailing my fingers down his body and stopped at his zipper. I toyed with the button of his pants and then trailed my fingers to the side, teasing him. Once I was a barely a breath away from the Op 7, I could imagine the feel of the cold steel against my palm. It was now or never. I must have made it a fraction of an inch closer to the gun before I found myself flat on my back, Knight atop me.
He laughed acidly as he glanced down at me. “Did you really think I wasn’t on to you?”
“So, you just played into the game the whole time?” I shrieked at him and realizing he’d bested me, erupted into a fit of tears.
He shrugged and his expression was hard. “I figured I’d enjoy it while I could.”
“You bastard!” I screamed.
“Where is the Mandrake?” he demanded and his voice was deadly, warning me not to argue with him.
“There isn’t any left,” I lied.
He stood up and gripped my wrist, forcing me up beside him. Then he pushed me toward my bedroom.
“I’m going to ask you one more time, Dulcie, where the hell is the Mandrake?”
“And I’m going to tell you one more time that there isn’t any left!” I screamed at him.
He gritted his teeth and threw open the bedroom door, slamming it behind us. He pushed me against the bed and climbed on top of me, his eyes issuing a warning of their own.
“This is your last chance. Tell me where the Mandrake is or I’m going to cart your ass down to Headquarters and let the Netherworld deal with you,” he ordered and added. “And how the hell will you help Sam in jail?”
I swallowed hard. There was no way I wanted to admit where the Mandrake was but there was also no way I was going to let him get me locked away where I’d have no access to Mandrake and even less access to Sam. Damn, the bastard had won.
“Why won’t you believe me?” I insisted.
“Because every time you tell me there isn’t any left, you blink repeatedly which means you’re lying.”
Then a feeling of absolute despondency and panic shot through me. “Please don’t take it from me, Knight.”
“Where is it?” he demanded again.
“If I tell you, what are you going to do with it?”
He smiled but there was nothing sweet about it. It was the grin of a hunter which made me the prey. “If you tell me where it is, I’ll give you the option of whether you want to clean yourself up and be the law enforcement agent I know you are or whether you want to stay addicted to Mandrake.”
It couldn’t have been more perfect. He was going to let me make the choice. As far as I was concerned, the choice was already made.
“It’s in my top drawer, buried in the back.”
I didn’t even have the chance to feel any sort of mortification as Knight approached my dresser, pulled open the drawer and started plowing through my panties and bras. All that mattered was the sweet release the Mandrake promised soon en
ough. He grasped the small vial and rather than approaching me, neared the bathroom so I followed him. He propped the toilet seat up and yanked on the cork of the Mandrake so hard, it crumbled in his hand.
“You son of a bitch!” I seethed.
I leapt for him as soon as I realized what he intended to do and was in the process of doing already. He held me off with one arm and dumped the reminder of the Mandrake into the toilet. The bubbles fizzled and popped as they met the water and he flushed them down.
I slammed my fists into his chest, screaming curse words even I couldn’t make out. He grabbed my arms and forced me out of the bathroom and back into my bedroom, depositing me on my bed. But, I was up and out of his reach before he could say “boo”.
“It was for your own good,” he yelled back at me. “You’ll thank me once you come out of this.”
I wanted to clobber him, to slam his head into the wall. I started to wonder where these violent feelings were coming from but, sensing my chance, I wiggled out of his hold. I bee-lined for the door but he caught my arm and yanked me back into the room.
“I hate you!” I yelled and collapsed against my bed as sobs wracked my body.
“You’re lucky I don’t just cart your ass into Headquarters now and lock you up.”
“I wish you would,” I spat it back in his face. “Anything to get away from you!”
He grabbed my tee-shirt from off the floor, and threw it at me. “Put this on.”
I grabbed the shirt and forced it over my head, covering myself up as humiliation consumed me.
Twelve
After another two hours, the Mandrake had been cleansed from my body and I felt nothing but exhausted. My emotions ran the gamut from extreme relief over the fact that Knight had seen to it that I was no longer addicted to Mandrake and complete mortification and embarrassment over the fact that I, Dulcie O’Neil, had basically become an addict.
If I’d never understood or been sympathetic toward the plight of the addict before, I felt differently now. It was as if the Mandrake had completely taken over my life—and, really, it had. The idea that I’d nearly seduced Knight just for another fix was something that would live with me for the rest of my life…in infamy.
“I don’t even know what to say,” I started, staring out the window to avoid having to face Knight. He’d just witnessed something I would have been mortified for even Sam to witness. I was such a private person that the fact that I’d gone through something so personal in front of Knight…the thought was enough to make me want to throw up.
“Don’t say anything, Dulcie,” he responded in a soft, compassionate tone.
I felt a lump forming in my throat and I wiped away a few tears. “I’m completely mortified.”
Knight stood up from where he’d been sitting at my kitchen table and approached me. I couldn’t stomach the sympathy in his eyes and turned my back to him again. I shouldn’t have inspired sympathy or pity in other people—that wasn’t who I was. I was Dulcie O’Neil, the badass, hard-as-nails fairy who didn’t put up with anything from anyone. At least, that’s who I used to be and who I wanted to be again. Who I was now, I really didn’t know.
I shivered against the warmth of Knight’s hands on my shoulders. As if I hadn’t berated myself enough, images of me straddling him with my boobs hanging out like a baboon in estrus coursed through me until I wanted to slap myself.
“Dulcie, just remember that everything you did, you did for Sam.”
I shook my head as an acid laugh fell off my lips. “I first took the Mandrake for Sam, yes, but at the end, I took it because I had to, because I couldn’t turn it down.” I glanced down at my small hands which were now fists at my side. “I thought I could defeat it, Knight. I didn’t think I’d get addicted to it—I thought I was stronger than that.”
“Dulcie, you aren’t giving yourself enough credit.”
“Credit?” I repeated facetiously, turning around to face him. “Credit for what?”
“For forcing yourself to do something that runs counter to everything you believe in just so you could save your friend. Yes, you got in over your head but that’s not what you should be focusing on.”
I dropped my eyes, feeling the sting of tears again. I blinked them away. “I think you’re giving me too much latitude.”
He chuckled. “Probably true in most things but not in this case.”
A tear escaped my eye and he wiped it with the pad of his thumb.
“Hey, none of that was you, Dulce, I know it so why don’t you?”
“I guess I have issues when it comes to failing.”
His smile was wide and my breath caught in my throat. He was so incredibly handsome and I wasn’t sure what to think about this tender and kind side of him—it was a version of Knight that I could very easily lose myself in and that was a scary thought.
“Issues with failing?” he laughed again. “That’s got to be the understatement of the day. I hate to break it to you, Dulce, but you aren’t perfect.”
I glanced up at him and wiped away more tears. “Believe me, I know I’m less than perfect.”
“Well, whatever you are, you’ve got the best intentions of anyone I know,” Knight said in an iron tone, as if challenging me to argue or disagree with him. “And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you’re an absolute asset to the ANC.”
I couldn’t even stand to listen to him—an asset? When I was addicted to an illegal narcotic? “Knight,” I started and when he glanced down at me, I wasn’t even sure I could get the words out. “I would have had sex with you just to get that next fix of Mandrake.”
He shook his head and raised a brow. “Do you think I would have ever let it go that far?”
“That’s not my point. If you had allowed it to…progress, I would have too,” I finished, apparently hell-bent on lowering his estimation of me.
His lips were tight. “You don’t know that for sure.”
“Yes, I do.”
His smile was broader than it had been. “Then, damn me for flushing the shit so fast. I should have waited a little longer.”
I couldn’t help my laugh and shook my head at the absurdity of the whole situation. Of all the people to have witnessed me at my worst, of course it would have been Knight—not Sam; not some random person I couldn’t care less about, but Knight. Sometimes life was a major bitch.
I glanced at him again and chewed my lip, not entirely sure what to make of the fact that I felt indebted to him and grateful. “You know if our roles were reversed, I would have arrested you?”
“Said in true Dulcie O’Neil form,” Knight said and shook his head. “I knew you had to be in there somewhere.”
I didn’t drop my gaze. “I’m being serious.”
“I’m sure you are but we both know you wouldn’t have arrested me. You play a mean game but underneath it all, you have feelings, Dulcie, even if you don’t want to admit them.”
I was spared the need to respond when the doorbell rang, announcing Dia’s arrival. The thought that I could soon be sleeping was like waking up on Christmas morning. Knight dropped his hands from my shoulders and grinned warmly again.
“I don’t want to hear any more about this,” he started. “You need to forgive yourself and move on. I want the old Dulcie back—the one who gives me a crapload of attitude at every turn and makes my life significantly more difficult than it needs to be.”
I wiped my eyes for the last time. “I think I can manage that.” Maybe it was due to the fact that I hadn’t slept in over six days, but I just didn’t feel like me. I felt like I was going through some sort of identity crisis and I didn’t like it one bit.
Knight approached the door and put his hand on the knob, then paused, glancing back at me. “Dia doesn’t know anything about what went on here earlier,” he began. “I didn’t think it was my place to tell her.”
I nodded in silent thanks. Sometimes Knight could be so…nice (for lack of a better word) that it just threw me for a lo
op—especially when he could be such an ass at other times.
He pulled open the door and Dia walked in, offering him a cheery smile before her complexion blanched as she focused on me. I had an apology to make and based on her expression, I’d better make it quick.
“I’m sorry for ditching you the other day, Dia,” I said and smiled sheepishly. “Can you forgive me?”
She frowned. “Well, I guess I already have considering I’m here.”
“Thanks,” I started before Knight cleared his throat and opened the door further.
“I’m going to let you two get to it. I need to get back to the hospital to keep an eye on things,” he announced and then glanced at me again, his expression softening. “It appears my work here is done.”
I smiled back at him, not sure what to say or where to start. “Thanks,” I said simply.
“Any time, Dulcie, we’re in this together,” he answered, smiling before he left.
I was sad to see him go.
Dia faced me after watching him close the door and she looked amused. “Thought anymore about Tweety?”
I laughed as I considered it—yes, Knight was a cocky, arrogant, bossy pain in my ass most the time but I had to admit that he wasn’t all bad and even though I didn’t want to accept it, I had to face the fact that Knight seemed to genuinely…care about me.
“Yeah, I have,” I said with a thoughtful smile. “I don’t know what to think of Tweety but I’m thinking about him all the same.”
“It’s a start, Girl, and thank Hades for that because I thought I’d have to knock some sense into that stubborn head of yours!”
“Hey, I’ve got baggage,” I explained with a laugh.
She arched her brows. “Really? You don’t say?”
“Okay, enough, smartass,” I finished.
“You ready to get some sleep?”
I nodded. “Amen to that.”
#
I sighed as I glanced down at Sam, who didn’t look any worse but also didn’t look any better. Yep, we were definitely in a holding pattern, the Dreamstalker waiting for me to call his bluff and vice versa. Well, if I had it my way, he was going to call my bluff and we’d face off in dreamland.