The forest around and behind us was dark and foreboding, with massive trees reaching up to form an interlaced canopy, like the intricate ceiling of some natural cathedral of the night. The air was cool and still, and thick with the heavy scents of slow growth. I could almost feel the great green power of the dreaming wood, which had stood for thousands of years and never known the touch of Man, or his cutting tools. This was old Britain, ancient Britain, the dark womb from which we all sprang.
And suddenly I was back running between the trees again, with Herne and his Wild Hunt howling triumphantly at my back. Terrible memories of pain and horror surged through me, and I swayed on my feet. I had to put a hand out to the nearest tree and lean on it to steady myself, as my knees threatened to buckle under me. I was shuddering all over, and I could feel my heart slamming painfully fast in my chest. No-one had ever hurt me so deeply, terrorized me so completely, as Herne and his monstrous Court. I’d won, but he had left his mark on me. Maybe forever. I made myself breathe slowly and deeply, refusing to give in. One of my greatest strengths has always been my refusal to be beaten by anyone or anything, even myself. My head slowly came up, my face dripping with sweat, and Suzie Shooter stepped in close beside me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. The sheer unexpectedness of this pushed everything else out of my head, but I was careful not to react or even turn around too quickly. I didn’t want to frighten her off. I looked round slowly, and our eyes met. Her face was as cold and controlled as ever, but we both knew what a big effort this was for her. She managed a small smile, then, seeing that I was myself again, she took her hand away and looked out into the clearing. The gesture was come and gone, but of such small steps are miracles made.
“How far back have we come, this time?” said Suzie, in her usual calm voice. “When is this?”
“I don’t know,” I said, still looking at her rather than the clearing. “But it felt a hell of a lot further than a few hundred years. If I had to guess, I’d say thousands … thousands of years. I think we’re back before there were any cities, any towns, any gatherings…”
Suzie scowled, “Stone Age?”
“Further back even than that. I think we’ve arrived in a time before Man even appeared, as we would recognise him. Listen.”
We stood close together, listening. The huge and mighty forest was full of the sounds of life—of birds and animals and other things, crying out in the night. The sound of hunters and their prey, up in the air and down on the ground, sometimes crashing through the undergrowth, snorting and grunting. Slowly we turned and looked back, and as our eyes adjusted to the gloom, we could see things moving cautiously in the shadows, observing us from a safe distance. Suzie drew a flare from inside her leather jacket, lit it, and threw it some distance into the trees ahead of us. The sharp crimson light was briefly dazzling, and all around us we could hear the beasts of the forest retreating into the safety of the dark. But there were other sounds now, new movements. Suzie drew her shotgun from its holster on her back.
The light from the flare was already dying down, but I could just make out strange shapes moving on the very edge of the light, large and powerful things, drifting eerily between the trees. I could feel their presence more than see them. Their shapes were huge, alien, almost abstract; and yet still I knew they belonged in this place more than I did. They were Forces and Powers, old life in an old land, barely material as yet, life in its rawest forms.
“What the hell are they?” whispered Suzie. “I can barely make them out, as though they’re only just there … Nothing that lives looks like that… It’s as though they haven’t decided what they are yet.”
“They probably haven’t,” I said, just as quietly. I really didn’t want to attract the attention of such wild, unfocussed Beings. “These are the first dreams and nightmares of the land, given shape and form. I think in time … these forms will eventually define themselves into elves and goblins and all the fantastic creatures of the wild wood. Some will become gods, like Herne. All this will come with the rise of Man, of course. I think maybe these things need the belief and imagination of Man to give them fixed shapes and natures. Man’s fears and needs will distil these Beings and Powers into definite shapes; and soon they will forget they were ever anything else. And they will prey on Man and serve him, as he worships and destroys them…”
“All right, you’re getting creepy now,” said Suzie.
The last of the flare’s light flickered and went out, and the old deep dark of the forest returned. I couldn’t see or even sense the abstract Forces any more, and though I strained my ears, all I could hear was the natural course of bird and animal, going about their nightly business. Reluctantly, I turned and looked out at the clearing again. Suzie turned and looked, too, but she didn’t put away her shotgun. Moonlight lit the vast clearing bright as day, but though the open space was still and quiet, there was a feeling of anticipation on the air, as though some curtain was about to rise on a brand-new show.
“Lilith did this,” I said. “And from the feel of it, not long before we arrived. This is where she will create and place her Nightside. Not far from here is undoubtedly a river that will someday be called the Thames. And men will come here and build a city called London … I wonder what form Lilith’s creation will take, before Man invades it and rebuilds it in his own image?”
“How many living things did Lilith destroy when she made this clearing?” said Suzie, unexpectedly. “How many animals, stamped out in a moment, how many ancient trees, blasted into nothing, to serve her purpose? I don’t care much, but you can bet good money she cared even less.”
“Yeah,” I said. “That does sound like Mommie Dearest. She never cared who she hurt, to get her own way.”
“Why didn’t she create the Nightside immediately?” said Suzie, suspicious as always. “Why stop at the clearing? Is she waiting for something?”
I considered the point. “It could be … that she’s waiting for an audience.”
Suzie looked at me sharply. “For us?”
“Now that is a disturbing thought… No. How could she know we’d be here?”
Suzie shrugged. “She’s your mother. She’s Lilith. Who knows what she knows or how she knows it?” She scowled at me, as another thought struck her. “We only got here because the Lord of Thorns used his power to send us here. How are we supposed to get back to our own time, assuming we survive whatever appalling thing happens next?”
“Good question,” I said. “Wish I had a good answer for you. Let’s wait and see if we do survive, and worry about it then. We have more than enough to worry about as it is.” Then it was my turn to look at her thoughtfully, as something new struck me. “Suzie … I think we need to talk. About us. Right now.”
Suzie looked straight back at me, not giving me an inch. “We do?”
“Yes. The odds are that we’re not going to survive whatever comes next. I’ve always known that. It’s why I didn’t want you along on this case, But, here we are, and things have changed between us. So, if we’re ever going to say anything, anything that matters, we need to say it now. Because we may never get another chance.”
“We’re friends,” said Suzie, in her cold, controlled voice. “Isn’t that enough?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Is it?”
“You’ve got closer to me … than anyone,” Suzie said slowly. “I never thought I’d ever let anyone get that close. Never thought I’d want anyone to. You … matter to me, John. But, I still couldn’t… be with you. In bed. Some scars go too deep, to ever heal.”
“That isn’t what we’re talking about,” I said gently. “What matters is you, and me. It’s a miracle we’ve made it this far, really.”
She considered me for a long moment, with her scarred face and her single cold blue eye and her unyielding mouth. I didn’t think she even knew she was cradling her shotgun to her chest, like a child, or a lover. When she finally spoke, her voice was as cold as ever. “My new face doesn’t bother y
ou? I never cared about being pretty, but… I know what I must look like. The outside finally matches the inside.”
“You said it yourself, Suzie,” I said, as lightly as I could. “We monsters have to stick together.”
I leaned forward, slowly and very carefully, and Suzie watched me like an animal of the wild, that might turn and run at any moment. When our faces were so close that I could feel her breath on my mouth, and she still hadn’t moved, I kissed her gently on her scarred cheek. I kept my hands by my sides. The ridged scar tissue of her cheek was hard and unyielding. I pulled back, looked into her cold blue eye, then kissed her very gently on the mouth. Her lips barely moved under mine, but she didn’t back away. And finally, slowly, she put her arms around me. She held me only lightly, as though she might pull away at any moment. I moved my mouth back from hers, pressed my cheek against her scarred face, and put my arms around her, just as lightly. She sighed, just a little. Her leather jacket creaked quietly under my arms. She held me for as long as she could stand it, then let go and stepped back. I let her go. I knew better than to try and go after her. I knew she still had her shotgun in one hand, even if she didn’t. She looked at me with her cold eye and her cold expression, and nodded briefly.
“You know I love you, right?” I said.
“Oh sure,” she said. “And I care for you, John. As much as I can.”
And then we both looked round sharply. The whole forest had gone quiet, and there was a new feeling on the air. Just for a moment everything was so still I could hear the rasp of my own breathing, feel the beating of my heart. Suzie and I looked out into the clearing, our attention drawn to the open space like beasts in the wild sensing a coming storm. There was a sound. A sound on the air, but not of it, coming from everywhere and nowhere. It filled the whole world, filled my mind, and it was not a natural sound. It was the cry of something being born, of something dying, an emotion and an experience and an ecstasy beyond human knowledge or comprehension. The sound rose and rose, growing louder and more piercing and more inhuman, until Suzie and I had to clap our hands over our ears to try and keep it out, and still the sound rose and rose, louder and louder, until it became unbearable; and still it rose. Finally, mercifully, it rose beyond our ability to hear it, and Suzie and I were left shaking and shuddering, breathing harshly and shaking our heads as though trying to clear something out. I couldn’t hear anything, even when Suzie spoke to me, and we both looked out into the clearing again. Something was going to happen. We could feel it. We could still feel the sound, feel it in our bones and in our souls.
And then Lilith was suddenly there, standing in front of the trees at the edge of the clearing, perhaps as little as twenty feet from where Suzie and I stood watching. The sound was gone. Lilith had made her entrance. She stood staring intently out at the clearing she’d made, her dark eyes fixed and unblinking. Suzie and I silently stepped further back into the dark of the forest, concealing ourselves in the deepest shadows. Just to see Lilith was to be scared of her. Of the power that burned in her, like all the stars in all the galaxies. She might have been created to be Adam’s wife, but she’d come a long way since then.
She hadn’t simply appeared. It was as though Lilith had stamped or imprinted herself directly onto reality, by sheer force of will. She was there now because she chose to be, and somehow she seemed realer than anything else in the material world. She looked … pretty much as I remembered her, from the last time I’d seen her. In Strangefellows bar, at the end of my last case. Just before everything went to hell.
She was too tall and almost supernaturally slender, the lines of her bare body so smooth they looked like they’d been streamlined, for greater efficiency. Her hair and her eyes and her lips were jet-black, and together with her pale, colourless skin, she looked very much like a black and white photograph. Her face was sharp and pointed, with a prominent bone structure and a hawk nose. Her dark mouth was thin-lipped and far too wide, and her eyes were full of a dark fire that could burn through anything. The expressions that came and went on her face were in no way human. She looked … wild, elemental, unfinished. She wore no clothes. She had no navel.
I remembered the man called Madman, who Saw the world and everything in it more clearly than most, saying that the Lilith we saw and experienced was only a limited projection into our reality of something much greater and more complex. We only saw what we could stand to see. He also said that the human Lilith was really just a glorified glove puppet that she manipulated from afar.
Lilith. Mother. Monster.
I said as much to Suzie, and she nodded. “It doesn’t matter. If she’s real, I can kill her.”
We both kept our voices low, but I don’t think even a thunderclap could have interrupted Lilith’s concentration. Whatever she saw in the clearing wasn’t there yet. She spoke a Word aloud, and it hit the air like a hammer. The sound of it filled the world, its echoes reaching out to touch everything. It was a word from no language I knew or could ever hope to understand, even with the assistance of Old Father Time’s magic; it was an old word out of an old language, perhaps the basic language from which all others evolved. I could understand enough of its meaning to be glad I didn’t understand any more.
Summoned by that terrible Word, the world opened up to birth monsters. Awful creatures came stomping and hopping and slithering out of the trees behind Lilith. They towered over her and oozed past her feet, huge and dreadful and utterly appalling, even by Nightside standards. In them was found every forbidden combination of animal and lizard and insect, vicious and ugly beyond belief. Bulging muscles swelled like cancers under suppurating flesh. Dark carapaced things scuttled on broken legs, with complicated mouth parts working furiously under too many eyes. Tall and spindly things lurched out of the trees on tripod legs, flailing long tentacles like barbed whips. And still they came, bursting up out of the dark earth of the clearing. Great white worms with rows of human arms and hands, rotting hulks large as whales, chattering heads with long toothy spines. Bat-winged shapes dropped out of the night with a predator’s grace, and terrible shapes swept across the sky, blocking out the stars and darting across the face of the full moon.
The air was full of the stench of blood and offal and brimstone. And Lilith looked upon them all, and smiled.
I suddenly realised Suzie was training her shotgun on the group and preparing to open fire. I quickly pushed the barrels down, then actually had to wrestle with her to keep the barrels pointing at the ground. I knew better than to try and take the gun away from her. She finally stopped fighting and glared at me, breathing hard.
“Let me shoot them! They need shooting, on general principles!”
“I feel the same way,” I said, glaring right back at her. “But we can’t afford to be noticed yet. And I’m pretty sure most of those things would shrug off a shotgun blast anyway.”
She nodded reluctantly, and I cautiously let go of the gun. “I loaded up with cursed and blessed ammunition,” she said, a little sulkily.
“Even so. I know what those creatures are, Suzie. After being thrown out of Eden, Lilith went down into Hell and lay down with all the demons there, and in time gave birth to all the monsters that have plagued Mankind. Those things out there … are her children.”
“How can you be so sure of that?” said Suzie.
“I feel it,” I said. “I know it like I know my own name. Those things will become the Powers and Dominations of our time, and their many descendants will become vampires and werewolves and ghouls and all the other predators of the Nightside.”
“I’ve got some really powerful grenades…”
“No, Suzie.”
She sniffed, then glared out at the monstrous creatures rising and falling around Lilith. “So,” she said finally. “Lilith’s children. Your half-brothers and -sisters. They are the audience she was waiting for.”
Lilith looked out across the writhing, pulsating crowd before her, and her wide smile was as cold and unreadable as the rest of h
er. She could have been thinking anything, anything at all. Finally, she gestured briefly, brutally, and the crowd split in two, falling back on both sides as Lilith frowned, concentrating, and spoke another Word. Even her monstrous children cringed back from the sound of it, and I could feel reality itself shake and shudder as Lilith enforced her awful will upon it. The whole of the dark forest stirred and groaned, a living thing in pain, then, all in one terrible moment, Lilith gave birth to the Nightside through a single effort of will and determination.
A great city suddenly filled the clearing from boundary to boundary, shining bright as the sun, massive and ornate, a singular creation of wonder and beauty. It was a vision of great sparkling towers and massive shimmering domes, delicate elemental walkways and insanely elegant palaces—a glorious ideal city, a thing of dreams made real in stone and wood, marble and metal. It was magnificent, like the cities we see in our minds when we dream of distant places. All its shapes were curved, smooth and rounded, almost organic, the buildings rising and falling like waves in an artificial sea, and none of them were in proportion to each other. The city Lilith had created was inhumanly beautiful, and flawed, just like her.
“That… is not at all what I expected,” said Suzie. “It’s stunning. A city of light, and splendor. How could something as marvelous as that become the corrupt city of our time?”
“Because that thing before us isn’t a city,” I said. “It’s an ideal. No-one lives in it. No-one ever could. That’s simply a construct, a sterile unchanging place, designed to be looked at and admired, not lived in; even if Lilith doesn’t realize that yet. Most of it’s out of proportion, none of it belongs together, and from the look of those towers they only stay up because Lilith believes they will. The streets probably don’t go anywhere, and I doubt she’s left any room for the practicalities of city life, like clear entrances and exits, sewers and throughways. No … this is a dead end, like a beautiful cemetery. Can’t you feel the coldness of it? This is only Lilith’s idea of a city, a fantasy impressed on reality. No wonder Mankind eventually knocks it all down and builds a new one.”