“Man, I don’t know what it is about you that makes these women so crazy.”
I shrugged. “What can I say? I’m cursed with a big dick.” All men brag even when it’s a lie. But it isn’t bragging if you can back it up. I could.
The door opened and Landon walked in with Sasha, which was no surprise; neither was the fact that they were holding hands. But what was a surprise was the kiss on the lips he leaned in to give her, followed by a charming little peck to the tip of her nose, before he reluctantly turned her loose to join Cassidy and the others at their table. I was aware that I was staring, but then again, so was about half the room, all the women swooning even as Sasha gave a girly giggle I hadn’t heard from her before. The color to her cheeks and the way her eyes lit up with the smile she was sporting—also different—left no room for question. She was smitten.
And so was my friend. Landon’s few steps to his normal place beside me at the corner of the bar was full of confidence and—what were the kids calling it now?—swag. Landon had swag.
“Holy fuck! When did that happen?” I asked him, sounding a lot like a chick waiting for him to dish the deets. Yes, men talk, too. As much as women love to think they have the market on gossip cornered, they don’t. Bro talk is just a little more sacred because we infuse the bro code into it. Which means we aren’t likely to go blabbing what we know, for fear that our shit will get leaked as well.
“Last night, man,” Chaz answered for him. “Sasha looked at him and it was just bam, on.”
Landon laughed. “Shut up and give me a beer.”
Landon was a very private person. He never talked about his personal life or boasted about the hottie he’d been seeing. Mostly because we all knew he’d been saving himself for Sasha. Not that he’d ever said it out loud. We just knew. The only time a man was ever that protective of a woman was when he cared about her to the core. And Landon was one hell of a badass when it came to Sasha: silent but deadly.
Chaz reached into the refrigerated locker below the bar and popped the top off a longneck before sliding it across the glossy surface of the bar to Landon. “So how did it go?”
Landon took a drink, considering the question. “You saw the smile on her face, didn’t you?”
“Hard to miss,” I answered.
He gave a self-assured nod that wasn’t ego-driven in the least. “That’s all the answer you need. And her happiness is all I need.”
Chaz gave Landon’s arm a playful punch. “Yeah, and at least I know I won’t have to kick your ass for hurting her.”
“Nah, she’s had enough hurt, man. I’m going to show her what it’s like to be with a real man now.”
“Well, I say it’s about time you two got together. It took her long enough to get there, but all that matters is that she did.” I gave him a congratulatory clap on the back that he damn well deserved. And he wasn’t the only one. “What about you, Chaz?”
But Chaz hadn’t heard a word I’d said; he was watching Demi as she came through the door and walked across the room to join her friends at their regular table. The smile she gave him was beyond flirtatious. So was the demure “Hey, Chaz” and the finger wave.
“Are you ever going to get off your ass and do anything about that?” I asked. No idea why I suddenly thought I was the king of relationship advice, but it was pouring out of me without a filter.
“Dude, she walks in and my dick gets hard.” He adjusted himself to prove it. “I’m just glad I work behind the bar, so no one can see it. I can’t even hook up with anyone else to try to fuck her out of my mind, because every time I try”—he nodded toward the table where the object of his affection sat giggling, no doubt over Sasha’s retelling of her date with Landon—“the cock-block brigade squashes it. I’m surprised they haven’t cut off my hands so I can’t jack off. Don’t think Quinn hasn’t threatened it, either.”
Oh, I was sure of it.
Landon lifted his beer to his lips. “I think you should just get over yourself and ask her out already.”
“Says the man who sat back quietly and waited for the chick to do all the dirty work,” Chaz countered.
The bottle cap Chaz had left sitting on the glossy wood went sailing through the air, and he ducked, narrowly escaping it. The three of us laughed as he retaliated by whipping the towel across the bar, just missing Landon.
“At least I didn’t let something as silly as a paycheck keep me from being with the one I wanted.”
“Hey, I’m a man. And as a man, I need to be the man. And a man is a man is a man.”
Landon and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“And a paycheck is going to prove you’re a man?”
“Easy enough for you to say. You and Cassidy make about the same.”
I choked on my beer. “Whoa! What?” There were a thousand and one words I wanted to say in that moment, and not one of them would come out, but I did manage three: “What the fuck?”
“Nice,” Landon said. “You’re just going to throw it out there like that, Chaz? No finesse, no easing into it, just … bam!” He shook his head in disbelief. “You’re right, you are a man.”
Chaz shrugged. “What?” Then he looked at me. “Ah, shit, man. Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”
That was because I was going to be sick. “Why … why would you say something like that?”
Landon cut off the words Chaz had been about to say. “I’ll handle this, if you don’t mind.” Landon faced me then, not looking entirely comfortable about the situation. “We could be way off base here, and you may not even want to talk about it, which would be fine, but we’ve noticed that you seem to be really distracted by Cassidy—”
I shushed him before he could continue; hearing him say her name out loud made me paranoid as hell. The chick table was far enough away, but these particular chicks had ears like parabolic microphones.
Landon gave me an apologetic look and made the necessary alteration: “You seem to be distracted by a certain young lady we all know and love.”
Know? Yes. Love? Not in a million years. “Speak for yourself,” I said, taking a poetic gulp of my beer. “You’re confusing love with hate. It’s a common mistake.”
“Well, you know what they say, thin line and all, man.” Chaz wasn’t helping matters.
“Yes, and denial isn’t just a river in Egypt,” Landon threw in for good measure. “When two people compete so heavily against each other, it’s usually out of a mutual respect. I’m guessing you choose to go up against her because you know she’s the only person who can keep up with you. Imagine how that might play over into the bedroom.” He laughed.
I didn’t have to; I already knew the answer. Well, not so much the bedroom as my office, her office, the boardroom, and a dark alley. My little buddy perked up at the memories.
“In fact,” Landon continued, though I wished he’d stop, “this thing between you and her is textbook playground behavior. A little boy tugging on a little girl’s pigtails isn’t any different from you kidnapping the account up for grabs and playing keep-away with her. Negative attention is better than no attention at all.”
“Awww,” Chaz cooed. “Shaw’s got a crush.”
There was nothing more disturbing than seeing a tatted-up, muscle-bound bald guy get all mushy with a dreamy gleam in his eyes. The guy wore a leather cuff, blue jeans, a tight T-shirt, and combat shitkickers, for Christ’s sake. It just wasn’t right.
I felt cornered, like they were ganging up on me. “Don’t you have some work to do, beer wench? Those customers at the other end look like they’re about to climb over the bar and get their own drinks.” It wasn’t only a distraction; it was the truth.
Chaz glanced over to see for himself, flipped me off, and then headed in that direction.
I turned my attention back to Landon. “Where did all this come from, anyway?”
He got comfortable against the bar. “Extensive training in observation is part of my military backg
round. I’ve a keen eye for human behavior. It’s how I knew it would be better to sit back and wait for Sasha to come to me, rather than to approach her.
“See, each and every time she dated someone who asked her out, it ended almost as soon as it began. Sasha has this innate need to fix people, so the guys she dated were always charity cases. She’d do her thing, and maybe things were okay for a little while, but their presence in her life was conditional, based on whether she continued to give without taking anything for herself. And it always ended the same. They selfishly used her up, and then when she needed them the most, they were never there to rescue her. A thing like that will take a toll on a person. There was never any balance, so those relationships were doomed to failure. She needed to see who would be there for her in the very same capacity that she was there for him.”
“And that has what to do with me, Dr. Phil?”
“Balance,” he said simply. “All the constant back-and-forth between you two means that, like with a seesaw, one of you is always up and the other is always down. The rapid and extreme highs and lows make everything else appear distorted. Your mind needs more than a moment with both your feet on the ground to regain clarity. Otherwise, bad decisions are made. Like, say, a trip to Vegas that ends with you behind bars and in the company of some interesting characters.” He laughed again when I rolled my eyes. “All I’m saying is, an unstable mind is a clinically insane mind, my friend.”
It sounded really insightful, but it just wasn’t me. “Landon, I love you, man, but you’re wrong about this one.”
“Okay,” he conceded and then looked away. The discussion was over. That was one of the things I liked so much about Landon. He was uncomfortable about getting in my business, but on the very rare occasion when he did, he was never pushy about it.
Damn … was he right, though? Giving him the once-over, I took in all the calm and confidence that oozed from his pores. His eyes had seen a lot, even if his youth made that seem impossible. If there were such a thing as past lives, I would swear he had lived a thousand.
I glanced over my shoulder at Cassidy, watching as she gathered her things to leave. For a split second, she looked up at me and our eyes met. I could see her on the other end of that seesaw, a wicked grin in place as she prepared to catapult into the air and send me crashing back down to the ground. As if she were reading my mind, a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth when she walked past me and toward the door. She was up at bat, and I had no clue what she had in store for me. It was in that moment that everything Landon had said became clear.
I swallowed what was left of my beer and took a couple tens out of my wallet, putting them on the bar as I stood. “Catch you guys later.”
Chaz nodded. “Later, man.”
Landon gave me a quiet salute, but the knowing in his eyes congratulated me on finally getting it. And then I was out the door, hot on the trail of Cassidy Whalen.
Landon was right. My problem as of late was that everything had been off-kilter and it mucked with my brain and my cock. It was time for me to regain some balance. And the only way I knew how to do that was for Cassidy and me to be even.
Cassidy
Outside my apartment door, I dug in my bag for my keys, wishing Quinn were on the other side waiting for me with a large glass of wine. I missed my old roomie. He could always make the end of a really crappy day better, with some Chunky Monkey or much needed dose of alcohol. I was mentally and physically exhausted, my body bordering on a complete shutdown. My movements were purely instinctive at this point—unlocking the door, flicking on the light, shutting the door, stepping into the empty room, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Going directly to my bedroom, I ignored my growling stomach’s demand for food. The shower was calling my name, and the promise of its pelting spray against my aching muscles was difficult to ignore. Shedding my clothes, I examined the cause of my current debilitation. The answer came readily and was really no surprise: Shaw Matthews.
My mental fatigue lay on Shaw’s broad shoulders. I’d racked my brains all day trying to devise some way to outsmart him and had fallen short. Everything I had come up with could backfire right in my face. I had to be careful with how I handled things and not give Denver the wrong idea.
The physical exhaustion was a result of the constant stress of waiting for the other shoe to fall. Again, Shaw’s fault. I was walking the razor’s edge, my entire body wound so tight, I was surprised I didn’t explode and fly across the room like a deflated balloon.
The steam and heat from the shower helped alleviate some of the stiffness from my neck and shoulders, but I could use some more downtime before I turned in for the night. I slipped my plush cotton robe on, eliminating the need for pajamas, and headed for the terrace.
Settling into my favorite spot—which I’d aptly dubbed “the nook”—on the padded chaise lounge, I knew this was my haven. The spot where I could gaze up at the stars and unwind from whatever crap life handed me. It rejuvenated me, mind, body, and soul. I closed my eyes, feeling the breeze play across my face. The steady buzz of the city below was better than any white-noise machine. I could feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into the cushions, my muscles growing heavy with fatigue. And with every passing second, the tension left my body, until I resembled nothing more than a wet sponge.
A faint clicking disrupted my silent reverie, but my heavy lids refused to budge. Quinn hadn’t told me he had planned to show up tonight, but he rarely called ahead.
“Quinn? Is that you?”
“You know, you shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” came a deep, rich voice that left goose bumps along my flesh and penetrated my chest to explode and disperse a thousand microbeads of warmth to all of my body parts.
That definitely wasn’t Quinn’s voice. I jumped up and turned around in my seat, coming face-to-face with none other than Shaw Matthews.
“What are you doing here? How did you get in?” I looked back through the windows toward the door as if the answer were somehow going to be there.
“I just told you. You left your door unlocked.”
Searching my memory, I mentally went back in time to find the information that would prove him wrong, but I came up short. I’d been so exhausted when I’d come in that I probably hadn’t bothered with the lock, which was weird because it had seemed like everything else had been on autopilot and that was definitely part of my normal routine.
“No worries; it’s locked now.” The sound of his voice brought me back to the present, and I snapped to, finding Shaw ogling my chest. I looked down. It seemed that in my hasty clamoring to get a visual of my intruder, the top of my robe had come loose, and loads of nakedness was now on display.
“Hey, my eyes are up here, Matthews,” I said, shutting down the free peep show.
“Well, if your cleavage would stop staring at me …”
God, what was it about that snarky grin that made my vagina so damn happy to see it?
“Aren’t you on probation or something? Can’t you get in trouble for breaking and entering?”
Shaw cocked his head to the side and regarded me with something mischievous lurking behind those not-so-innocent blue eyes. “Didn’t you go to law school? I’m not on probation, and again, the door was unlocked, so I didn’t break anything.”
“Fine. You entered without permission, though.”
Shaw leaned over and whispered, “There’s no law against entering.”
“Yes, there is. It’s called unlawful trespassing.” When he sat on the end of the chaise, right between my legs, I got flustered. “What are you doing?”
He ignored me. “So call the police.” His hand was now stroking the inside of my leg, and my first thought wasn’t to kick him off but that I was thankful I’d just shaved. Clearly, I was an idiot whose priorities were way out of whack.
“I should.” Yep, that was all I could muster.
And Shaw’s hand was sliding higher. “Do it.”
“I will.”
But I sat there, unmoving and barely breathing.
Shaw, on the other hand, was pushing back the flaps of my robe to get a better view of my naked thighs. And that wasn’t the only thing under there that was naked. “Well?” he finally said.
Distraction. I needed a distraction. “What are you doing here?”
The snarky grin was back, and before I knew it, Shaw had gripped my hips and pulled me toward him. Not only that, but at the same time, his head forced my thighs apart and his hot, wet mouth descended upon my exuberant vagina.
Well, that was one way to answer the question, I supposed.
His tongue made a long sweep of my pussy from back to front, and then his lips closed around my clit with a lingering suck that nearly drove me mad.
“Oh, God. I … I w-want you t-to …” Closing my eyes, I growled in my frustration at not being able to get the words out. “I want you to leave.”
“No, you don’t. You should want me to leave, and that’s what your brain is ordering you to say, but your mouth had an awfully hard time telling the lie, didn’t it?”
His mouth wasn’t having a hard time with anything. Not even while words were coming out of it. Jesus, he was good.
“You think you’re so smart? Tell me, Shaw … how many licks does it take to get to the juicy center of a Cassidy Pop?” Where in the world had that come from?
Shaw stopped and quirked an eyebrow, wondering the same thing, I was sure. “One … if you start there. Of course we could always test that theory, but I can’t guarantee I won’t take a bite before the test is complete.”
His warm breath mixed with the cool night air with each word he spoke, a concoction that elicited a sensation I’d never felt before. I craved more of it. And Shaw gave it when he hovered over my pussy and simply moaned. And then he descended again, his lips working in the same way there as they did on my mouth when he kissed me.