Jalissa shook her head. “I don’t have time for it. “I’d be at work right now if I wasn’t on vacation from my first job.” She admitted that she took Mark to daycare just so that she could get a few hours to herself.

  “So you said that you moved to New York.” Jalissa stated. “How was it?”

  Vanessa admitted to what it’s like having a special needs son while trying to make a name for herself in New York.

  When Vanessa talked about the altercation with Dino, Jalissa’s nose flared and for a moment she looked like the little girl who had snatched a handful of hair out of the head of a girl that was beating up her only cousin.

  “What are you doing for Christmas?” Vanessa asked excitedly.

  “I just spend it with Marcus. We open his presents and then I’ll make him something he likes for dinner. Probably chicken tenders and macaroni and cheese,” she laughed.

  “Will you come to Miss Gloria’s and spend it with us? Please?”

  Jalissa smiled and then nodded.

  When Vanessa returned to Scotty’s apartment his brow was still gathered with worry, at least until he saw the happy expression on her face.

  “How did it go?” He asked.

  She gave him the full story as she changed Crash’s diaper and placed him down to nap on Scotty’s bed.

  “I always liked your cousin.” He said while pulling her into his arms for hugs and kisses. “I’m happy you two made up.”

  “I invited her to Miss Gloria’s for Christmas. I’m going to ask grandma if she’ll come too.”

  “J.C. will be there too.” Scotty reminded.

  She turned and looked at him. “He will?”

  “He’s actually catering it. He wants to make some crazy deep-fried turkey.”

  “Wow. How do you deep fry and entire turkey? Well, I’ll see if my grandmother will come.” Maybe she will bring a ‘real’ turkey. Christmas was looking as if it was going to be the best ever—if only J.C. wasn’t there. Then it would be perfect.

  Grandma said she refused to be so rude as to bring a roasted turkey to dinner at someone else’s house. But that didn’t stop her from offering to bake a ham so that Vanessa, Scotty and Crash could come to dinner post-Christmas day at her house.

  On Christmas morning Vanessa awoke to find gifts under the small tree that she and Scotty had put up the night before. He had said that Crash deserved a tree for Christmas and even though it was one of the last artificial trees left they decorated it with too many ornaments and sat it on his cocktail table so that Crash couldn’t grab one of the branches and pull the tree down on top of his head.

  Vanessa was checking out the gifts when she heard Scotty clear his throat from the bedroom doorway where he was standing in just his night shorts.

  They had been sleeping in the same bed but he had never tried to cross the Matthew Crash Tremont barrier. Their son slept between them and even though his arms ended up in his dad’s face or a foot in his crotch Scotty never complained.

  “What are you doing, young lady?” He crossed his arms in front of him and leaned against the door.

  Vanessa jumped in surprise but then she found herself staring at him. They hadn’t discussed not being sexual—it just hadn’t happened. Scotty was too polite and she had been too emotional. And then there was Crash.

  But now things were happening the way she could have only dreamed. Maybe today; Christmas, was the gift that they should be giving to themselves.

  “Are one of these mine?” She asked gesturing to the wrapped gifts.

  “Certainly.”

  He came forward and located a slender box professionally wrapped in red paper.

  It was undeniably a jewelry box. What was he doing buying her jewelry when he had his finances wrapped up in being a student?

  She opened the package while trying to think of a way to thank him for the thought but to return it.

  She lifted the lid off a black velvet jewelry case. She expected to see a bracelet inside but instead there were two small charms. She lifted one and saw that it was a silver little baby with a blue diaper. The other was a microphone.

  She looked at Scotty and he looked serious.

  “I can’t afford the bracelet yet. But the first charm is the baby and I should have given that to you a year ago. The microphone is to let you know that whatever the future entails, to me you are already a star.”

  Vanessa clutched the charms in her fist and then she hugged Scotty.

  “Thank you baby! I love it!”

  She sat on his lap and they snuggled.

  “Should we wake up our son so that he can open his gifts?” Scotty asked.

  “Uh …no. I was thinking that I give you your gift now.”

  He obviously understood her intent because she felt his penis jump to life beneath her. It grew so rapidly and so hard that she gave him a raised brow.

  “You’re obviously ready for your gift,” She said.

  A slow flush filled his cheeks.

  “Only if you’re ready to give it. There is no rush, honey.”

  She wiggled her bottom over his erection and he sucked in a breath.

  “That doesn’t feel like patience.”

  “Are you planning to tease me?”

  Vanessa’s response was to slip her shirt up over her head and to toss it to the floor. Scotty stared at her breasts. She remembered her dark brown nipples and how well they fit into his mouth. Now they were bigger. He reached out and cupped her full breasts a moment before lowering his mouth to take possession of one taut nipple.

  Vanessa shuddered at the onslaught of passion. She wiggled rapidly against the hardness growing against her and Scotty’s face tensed as he fought for control.

  She suddenly slipped from his lap and down to her knees where she lathed his chest with kisses that trailed over his shuddering abs and down the trail of hair that led down his waistband.

  Scotty watched her breathlessly. His hands ran through the loose strands of her hair and then clutched when he felt her warm tongue along his shaft.

  Scotty did not dare dream of loving Vanessa again. He was unsure if he would ever see her again or if she would even want him back, and for her to be here now, loving him with her mouth was almost overwhelming.

  “Wait,” he whispered before it became too much for him. He lifted her until she was lying on the couch and then he stripped her pajama bottoms down her long, shapely legs.

  He stroked her intimately with his thumb and watched her arch toward him as her eyes snapped shut. Scotty leaned forward and spread her legs. He kissed her lower lips and then tasted her for the first time in over two years.

  Vanessa cried out, feeling herself swell and throb and then roughly she pulled him up to her.

  “I want you!” She cried. Her legs moved to enclose around his body and she clung to him while her pelvis sought the hardness that pressed against her.

  Scotty rubbed himself against her feeling his shaft swell and prepare for release. He didn’t care that he didn’t have a condom. He just wanted to bury himself inside of her.

  Scotty pulled back only long enough to glide the head of his penis against her wet slit. He pushed until he had slipped past her lower lips and had met the entrance of her vagina. He placed his hand lightly on her cheek so that she watched him and once her eyes opened Scotty slipped into her.

  Her lids fluttered and her breath caught. It was more than she remembered and once he was completely inside of her the discomfort began to slowly recede and was replaced with pleasure more exquisite than she had remembered.

  They made love, reconnecting emotionally until Scotty could take no more. With a soft cry he came, filling her with his seed. Vanessa felt his explosive ejaculation and she clutched him, tensing as her own body shattered into shards of something that was impossible and amazing.

  They lay together on the couch, not wanting to get up, but also not wanting to ruin the couch and Scotty lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bathroom where he ran t
hem a hot bubble bath.

  Once they were in the water with Vanessa’s back against him, he leaned down and kissed her temple.

  “Thank you. It’s the best present I’ve ever had.” He wondered if nine months from now there would be another gift of a Christmas baby.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Christmas at Miss Gloria’s felt like a black movie of the week. There was Motown and Elvis Christmas music playing over the stereo. The aroma of delicious food filled the air and kids were playing with various toys.

  J.C. was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner along with Vanessa’s grandmother and Miss Gloria.

  Tyrone and Ginger were playing with handheld video games that Phonso had gotten them. Scotty and his other brother and sisters were laughing and talking.

  Vanessa grinned at Jalissa.

  “Thank you for coming.”

  Jalissa sipped eggnog. “Thank you for inviting me.” She was smiling and Vanessa knew that it was a smile that came from the heart. Jalissa felt comfortable.

  “What do you think about my Dad?” Vanessa asked her.

  “He’s good-looking. He gets along good with the kids, too.” The cousins were sitting in fold out chairs off the dining room, which allowed them to see into the kitchen and living room.

  J.C. was cracking hardboiled eggs while Grandma was cutting boiled potatoes for potato salad. She and J.C. had talked for a long time while in the kitchen and at least she had stopped giving him the stink eye. Though Vanessa was unsure if they would ever ‘like’ each other, they at least didn’t throw knives.

  Vanessa had declined to include herself in any conversation with him beyond hi and Merry Christmas.

  She had remained polite to him and felt no need to do anything more than that.

  Jalissa looked over her shoulder to the kitchen again. “He’s not the way I thought he would be.”

  Beady left the living room where she had been goofing around with her brothers and sisters and she grabbed another chair and sat down next to Vanessa and Jalissa.

  “You look so familiar.” Beady said. “I think I remember seeing you in school.”

  Jalissa nodded. “I remember you too.”

  Beady made a face. “I hope I wasn’t an asshole to you?”

  Jalissa laughed. “Nah, I was much younger than you. But I remember seeing you with your friends and wishing I was like you.”

  Beady smiled but it didn’t look like a happy one. “No, you wouldn’t want to have been like me. That entire grass is greener thing …”

  Jalissa nodded politely. “There was a lot of that going around in Winton Terrace.

  Beady exchanged a brief look with Vanessa before she returned her attention to Jalissa.

  “My father used to date your Mom, too.”

  “Mr. Johnny, yes.”

  Vanessa got up. “Excuse me, I’m going to check on the kids.” She wanted to leave them to talk about Mr. Johnny if that should happen.

  Phonso was wrestling with Crash and Marcus and he looked like a big kid himself.

  “You’re good with them kids.” Vanessa said.

  “Yeah, I’ve had some practice.” He glanced over at Jalissa.

  “Hey … is your cousin … you know?”

  “What?” Vanessa asked.

  “Is she involved with anyone?”

  Vanessa scratched her head in surprise. She suppressed a smile and then gave her soon to be brother-in-law a serious look. “She’s single. And I hope she stays that way until she meets a man who knows what he wants in his woman. Otherwise … I will maim him.”

  Phonso looked away and shook his head. “I remember your cousin from when we were young. She was tough.” He looked at her. “Scotty told me about her making a way for herself and her son. I like it. I like a woman that works hard even if it’s just for a little peace of mind.

  “I’ve dated some girls in my time that wanted what some dude could do for them more than they wanted the dude. I guess I’ve been single for a long time because I’d like to meet a girl that can do for herself.”

  Vanessa grinned. “Then I’ll tell you a secret.”

  “What?” Phonso’s eyes were wide.

  “My cousin has had the biggest crush on you.”

  He looked over a Jalissa and noticed her looking at him. Both immediately looked away.

  His face was flushed when he looked at Vanessa again. He nodded and walked away.

  Vanessa smiled to herself. Scotty came over to her. “Is everything okay?”

  She hugged him. “I think it’s well on its way to being alright.”

  At dinner Scotty asked Juan Carlos if he would say the prayer. He had worked hard in the kitchen and had deep-fried a turkey that Vanessa had to admit looked and smelled delicious. Despite having worked at the steakhouse the night before he looked far from tired and seemed happy to be included in the family celebration.

  Juan Carlos looked surprised at being invited to speak. He stood slowly and rubbed his cheek and then he looked around the table at everyone present.

  “Before I say the prayer, I just wanted to thank you for including me in your holiday celebration. I could have never dreamed that a day like this would be in my future.” He looked down at his hands and began the prayer.

  “Thank you Lord for all of your gifts. Thank you for the people gathered here today who are enjoying this meal served on your behalf. Thank you for those who aren’t here but who live on in our hearts. Thank you for seeing the goodness in the hearts that others forsake and for showering us with your blessings. I think you, Lord for watching my children when I couldn’t …when I didn’t.”

  His voice broke and Vanessa looked up at him. His head was still lowered but she could see tears splashing from his eyes.

  “Thank you, Lord, for bringing us together—for bringing home my daughter and my grandson and for bringing Scotty back to us.” He took a deep breath. “And please keep those still trying to find their way back home safe in your grace. Amen.”

  “Amen.” Everyone echoed.

  Everyone began passing around the food and chattering excitedly about how good it looked. But Vanessa remained quiet.

  Scotty leaned to whisper into her ear. “Are you okay?”

  “I-I think I’m ready to talk to him.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “The deep-fried turkey was delicious.” Vanessa said politely. It was the last day of 1984; New Years Eve to some but to Vanessa it was the day that she hoped would take her full circle. She was going to talk to her dad and it was going to be ‘real talk’.

  They were at Scotty’s apartment. He had taken Crash, Ginger and Ty to see the miniature train display downtown.

  “I read about deep fried turkey and always wanted to try it.” He said. They were at the kitchen table. Juan Carlos had brought a coffee cake and she was serving it to them with coffee.

  “You look so much like your mother.” He could barely stop staring at her. She looked uncomfortable at the scrutiny. He sighed. “I guess you have a lot of questions about me and your Mom.”

  Vanessa sat down. “I want to know if you loved my mother.”

  “I did. I still do. Its been years since I last saw her and I think sometimes it makes the past look prettier than it actually was.”

  “Prettier?” Vanessa scowled. “My mom was sleeping with men for money and she was doing it to please you.”

  He nodded. “That’s true. But what I meant is that had your mom and I actually ended up together it might not have lasted. We might have grown apart and moved on. But because she’s died my love for her is like a snapshot of the past.”

  She stared at him. “How does a man that claims to love a woman allow her to sleep with men for money? That’s not love.”

  Juan Carlos cupped his hands around his coffee cup and looked into its depths. “The first time I saw Leelah, I thought she was the prettiest girl I’d ever laid eyes on.” He cleared his throat. “Usually I was the one who approached the women that cau
ght my eye. In this case she was the one to approach me.

  He recounted the story as if he was in a man giving his last confessions.

  ~***~

  Juan Carlos caught sight of her afro before he saw anything else. Heads were bobbing to the beat of Slow Twistin’ by Chubby Checkers and the bar was crowded with dancing figures.

  He sat at the bar sipping a beer and looking for someone that he could add to his stable.

  In the beginning he thought three or four girls would make them all rich. But in the end three or four girls just meant three and four times the money to take care of them. Because whores weren’t just pussy, but healthcare, bail money and when they were stupid it also meant kids.

  The house was filling with kids and while he didn’t want to kick out any of his girls who had gotten caught pregnant, he couldn’t afford them all. It’s why he only trusted one girl in bed; Tracy. If she got pregnant than there was at least a chance that he’d fathered the baby—not so with the other whores.

  He wanted untouched pussy—like Tracy’s had been before she got a taste of the money she could make with him. And now she brought in more money than he could have ever imagined. Unfortunately she worked so hard because she liked what money could buy—and that was coke.

  The next thing on his wish list was untouched pussy and no drug habit! He’d gotten rid of two chicks already due to those two desires. Now it was just Tracy and Anita. And frankly, Anita’s pussy was not bringing in the money.

  He watched the afro as it moved rhythmically to the music and he became intrigued with the person it belonged to.

  Juan Carlos got up and craned his neck. He got a peek of milk chocolate skin and then full lips and a loose fitting blouse with no bra beneath it.

  The girl was black and from what he could see her body was out of sight. Juan Carlos kept watch to from a distance to see if she had a dude with her. But she was with another black girl who was nowhere near as cute.

  Finally the two girls stopped dancing long enough to step to the bar and he told the bartender that he was buying their drinks. The bartender, a black dude gave him a dirty look. He knew that Juan Carlos was a pimp and later Leelah would confess that the bartender had tipped them off to that fact.