And I have absolutely no idea what to do about it.
Chapter 5. Liora
Early morning sunlight streams through the cracks of the curtains, and the oversized room shimmers under the soft golden rays. The opulent and unfamiliar décor throws me… where am I?
I sit up and shake my head, confused by the luxurious surroundings. This is obviously no motel room. But…?
I get off the massive bed, wander to the sliding glass door, and ease it open. The salty-sweet air of the Pacific Ocean greets me, as its waves gently welcome the new day. I take a few steps out onto the patio and see the enormous mansion off to one side.
What? We’re still at Anastasia’s house?
I hurry back inside and close the door. What’s going on here? And where are Corrine and Kieron?
Suddenly I remember my last conscious thoughts from yesterday, and my stomach seizes up in a painful knot. I stagger back over to the bed and collapse on it as tears fill my eyes. Through my growing sobs, I almost don’t hear the light tapping on the bedroom door.
“Liora? Liora, you up?” Corrine asks as she pokes her head in. She sees me, and her face crumples as she rushes to my side. “Oh no! No, it’s okay! Don’t be sad. Everything is okay! Lucky told me to tell you that Tatiana is fine… it was all just a trick or a test or something. Tatiana is fine.”
I stare at her, my jaw hanging open. “Wh-what?” I hiccup.
She pushes up her glasses. “Yup. I don’t know the whole story, though. I assume that’s what you’re upset about, right?”
I nod, still unable to really process what she’s saying. Tatiana is alive and is okay? I almost can’t hope to believe her.
“A trick? But why?”
Corrine shakes her head. “I don’t know the details, sorry. Lucky just came and woke me a few minutes ago and told me to tell you. She was really insistent I tell you the second you woke up. Only I wasn’t really sure when that was. Sorry if I was late.” She bites her lip and looks at me apologetically.
“I’ve only been awake a few minutes. I mean, you’re absolutely sure? She’s positive that Tat is alive?”
“Yes.” Corrine nods, and relief floods through me. “And I’m also supposed to tell you that you’re not to trust Anastasia,” she adds in a conspiratorial whisper.
I narrow my eyes. “What do you mean? Why not?”
She shrugs and crosses her arms. “Dunno exactly. Lucky didn’t really elaborate. She’s not one for the details, I guess. She just said to keep your guard up and don’t trust her. She might not be ‘on our side’, whatever that means.” She uses her fingers to make air quotes. I can tell she’s getting a kick out of playing the role of messenger between Lucky and me.
“Lucky doesn’t trust anyone, especially humans. She’s just being paranoid.” But the woman had apparently lied to me about Tatiana being dead… a callous and twisted way to greet someone, I must admit. Perhaps she does have something up her sleeve.
I get back off the bed and start to look around. I check out the empty walk-in closet, and the massive bathroom. Nice. “So why are we still here?” I murmur, almost to myself. “And where’s Kieron?”
“From what I could gather, which wasn’t much, apparently we’re safe here. Might need to talk to Anastasia and Kieron for more details. Lucky was in a bad mood last night so I didn’t really get much, other than the fact that we’re staying here for a while.”
Hmph. When is Lucky not in a bad mood? “And Kieron?”
Corrine shifts her gaze away. “He’s in another room on the other side of the house.” Suddenly she gives a big grin. “You should go see the rest of the place; it’s really something else. Even if that lady isn’t very friendly, at least we can’t say her accommodations are poor.”
“I wouldn’t say anything about this whole place is poor,” I mutter, as I open up my bag to put on some fresh clothes. I’m a bit surprised to have woken up in the same thing I was wearing yesterday. Lucky hadn’t bothered to change or unpack or anything, and I wonder why not. She cares more about her wardrobe than I do and is usually out of mine and into hers within moments of taking over the body.
“I know we just got here and you just woke up and all, but… ummm… I was wondering … I mean I hate to ask and all…” Corrine pauses and shifts her feet uncomfortably.
I give her a questioning glance as I start hanging some things in the empty closet. I swear it’s almost as big as my old bedroom was.
“What is it?” I ask, as I smooth out one of Lucky’s vintage gowns.
“Well, I hate to ask… And I do have a few dollars. But even though this place is nice and all, there’s stuff I need… like soap and shampoo, and a razor… toothpaste… deodorant… some socks and pajamas… stuff like that. I only threw in a few changes of clothes when we left—”
I hold up my hand. “Say no more. We’ll go shopping right after I get cleaned up and get organized. I need a ton of stuff too,” I note, rechecking the bathroom. Other than a few fluffy towels hanging on the racks, there’s nothing in it. Even cheap motels leave you with a travel-size bar of soap. Just another sign that our hostess is less than enthusiastic about our presence here.
“Sounds like Kieron is up,” Corrine says, as we hear noises coming from the kitchen. “Are you two… are you and him okay?” she asks sheepishly.
I shrug and refold a long sleeved t-shirt. “Fine, I guess. Why?”
She heads to the door and pauses. “No reason, I was just wondering. I’m gonna check on the food situation and see what’s good for breakfast. You coming?”
“Be there in a few,” I tell her and return to my unpacking. Why would Corrine ask about Kieron and me? Does she know something I don’t? Did Lucky say or do something?
I shake my head and close the dresser drawer. Finally I decide to take a quick, soapless shower and let the hot water do most of the work.
I’d learned long ago not to let my brain get too twisted wondering about Lucky and her shenanigans. If I let her, my demon half would quite literally drive me insane. As in legit, mental-institution -whackjob- straightjacket-with-the-padded-walls nutso. I can’t allow myself to feel blame or responsibility for her words or actions. She is herself, and I am myself.
One body—separate identities.
But as I suddenly leap from the shower and race naked and dripping wet across the bathroom floor to vomit mercilessly into the toilet, I’m sadly reminded that she and I are not as distinct as I would like us to be. I may try to fool myself into thinking that what she says and does doesn’t affect me, but obviously that isn’t the case. It was during her time that she put us in this position. Because of her, I have a life growing inside me that I had no part in creating. I have no memory of the conception, just the sudden knowingness of it.
I feel the certainty of the new life, just as I am certain Bones is the father. I can still smell him, taste him, hear him. He is inside me in a way I never knew was possible, and for the first time since our split there is a certain sense of peace in my soul. A calmness. Feeling his energy mixing with mine makes me more whole than I’ve ever been in my life. Even now, an outcast on the run, in a place where I’m not wanted and trying to find my purpose in a cruel and unforgiving world… somehow I feel like everything will be okay.
I wipe my mouth and stand up. I gargle some clean water from the faucet and look at my reflection in the mirror. Physically I look the same. Maybe even a bit better. My bony hips seem smoother and rounder, and my face fuller. Even my eyes, which I know have a tendency to look hard and cold, are softer… kinder.
What will I tell Kieron? How will he handle the news? Even though it wasn’t me who cheated, he’s always said he loves us as one. To him, Lucky and I are just different sides of the same coin. He loves the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’, metaphorically—and literally—speaking. So how will he feel about her being unfaithful to him? And not just with anyone, but with Bones? The one who had been the closest to her her whole life until Kieron showed up?
/> Even though Bones is dead now, betrayal is not something most people can easily forgive… even someone as strong and loving and understanding as Kieron.
Just as I finish pulling a clean shirt over my head, a light tapping on the bedroom door interrupts my thoughts. “Yeah,” I call, assuming it’s Corrine reporting back with the food update.
But it’s Kieron. He pokes his head in. “You decent?”
“Just a sec…” I shimmy on some jeans and quickly button them. “Come in.”
He walks through the doorway and flashes me a smile. “Mornin’.” He holds out a plate with some buttered toast. “There’s not much here in the way of food, but I was hoping this’ll tide you over until we can stock up.”
I take the plate and set it down on the dresser. “Thank you. That was very sweet.” I place my arms around his shoulders, tilt my head back and wait for his kiss. When it comes, it’s brief. Almost perfunctory.
I open my eyes to see him looking down at me. “How are you feeling?” he asks, his hand making small circles on my back.
“Okay… I’m okay.” I frown, confused. “Had a bit of a scare earlier. Did Lucky tell you about the Tatiana thing?”
He shakes his head and gracefully moves from my embrace. “No, she didn’t mention it. What happened?”
It must be my imagination, but does his voice sound slightly detached? Almost as if he’s asking because it’s expected of him and it’s part of the conversation, not because he really cares. The difference is infinitesimal, and I’m sure no one else would notice. But to me, it’s obvious. Especially when he asks me from several feet away and not while in my arms.
“She didn’t say anything at all?” I ask, keeping my voice light. “That’s odd. I wonder why not.”
He clears his throat and leans against the door. “Actually we didn’t really talk at all last night. As soon as we got here, I got settled in my room and she came in here. I didn’t see her for the rest of the evening.”
“So you guys had a fight or something?” Maybe that explains his strange behavior.
He shrugs. “Not that I know of.”
Frowning, I pick up a piece of toast and nibble it. I have to admit it does help my stomach a bit. “Hmmm. Well, when I was talking to Anastasia yesterday, she told me that Tatiana had been killed by Light-angels, and it was all my fault. She was so convincing, and I believed her. I wanted to die!”
I shudder. Even the memory is enough to make my throat close in.
“What?” Kieron appears genuinely shocked.
I cough and take a deep breath. “But then when I woke up,” I continue, “Corrine comes in and tells me that Lucky told her it was just a joke, a trick. A test of some sort. I’m pretty freaked out by that. I mean, what sort of person does that? And to be honest, she was less than welcoming when I met her. I don’t think she even wants us here, so I’m sorta wondering why we’re still around.”
Kieron takes a seat on a chaise in the corner and rests his ankle on his knee. He speaks slowly, thoughtfully. “Well, like I said, I didn’t talk with Lucky last night so I’m in the dark as to what happened with her. I do know that I feel much weaker here, and I can only suspect that the witch has some sort of protective enchantment on her property. She’d be a fool not to. And as far as her so-called ‘test’, well, one way to test a person’s humanity is to see how strongly they love. Perhaps she was trying to test Lucky’s and your humanity before allowing us to stay here.”
I take another nibble of the bread. Happily my stomach has remained calm so far. Just what I don’t need right now—an obvious case of morning sickness in front of Kieron. “So, I guess we passed her sadistic test. I mean, we’re still here.”
He shrugs and looks out the window. “Something tells me we’d be long gone by now if we weren’t welcome. I say we have a chat with Mrs. Havish and figure out what’s what before we get too comfortable. Who knows what she really has planned for us.”
Chapter 6. Liora
A short while later, Kieron and I are ready to venture on over to the main house to talk to Anastasia. Corrine wants to go down to the beach, so we agree to meet back at the cottage in an hour to plan the rest of our day.
Hand in hand, Kieron and I slowly make our way from the guest house toward the looming mansion. Despite my deep apprehension, I can’t help but admire the almost surreal artistry surrounding us. Every place I look seems more beautiful than the last— from the carefully shaped bushes, to the vibrant flower gardens, to the emerald blanket of mossy lawn stretching as far as the eye can see. The flawless perfection almost makes me nervous… everything has a flaw somewhere. But as far as I can tell, this place is as close to paradise on Earth as one could hope for. Even the late spring weather is perfect. Under different circumstances, I could really enjoy being here.
But not now. Right now, more than anything, I wish I was back home with Tatiana in our tiny cabin in the woods. Not in this magical seaside splendor with her evil sister.
“You okay?” Kieron gives my hand a gentle squeeze.
I nod. “Yeah, just nervous I guess. What if she can’t help us?”
He shrugs and squints the morning sun from his eyes. “Well, she must have given us some sanctuary since we’re still here. We’ll figure out what to do about the Light-angels—”
“I meant me and Lucky. What if she can’t fix us?”
“Then we’ll figure out how to live with that, too,” he says, his voice quiet.
I gaze out at the ocean and sigh. It’s strange. For so long after the split, all I wanted was to go back to how things were before, when I was just a normal demion. But then I started getting accustomed to my new life, even if I had no powers and my days were cut unnaturally short. I sorta got used to the idea that things would stay this way forever.
And when I think of the alternative, maybe this really is for the best. I can live my life my way, she can live hers her way. Because despite my craziness, it’s nothing compared to what Lucky goes through every evening. But I know she hates how things are. And the worst part is, we don’t really know what would happen if we were reunified. Would one of us die? Would it be her? Would it be me? Would we share memories? Lose them all together? So many frightening unknowns. What’s that saying? ‘Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.’ Now at least I know my devil.
Of course I’ve thought about all this before, but the chance of us ever being made whole was always so remote, I never really took it seriously. Even when Lucky had the Amazèa in her sights—the monsters who cursed us in the first place—I knew it was more likely that we’d be killed than cured, and there were times it might almost have been a welcome relief.
But that was before.
Before Kieron and his love that gave me a reason to live. And that was before the new life began inside me. The life that fills me with an almost insane, consuming love that grows stronger each and every day.
Now more than anything I want to live. To be me. Liora. The way I am supposed to be.
Only thing is, I’m not sure that includes Her.
********
We’re approaching a row of rose bushes when suddenly Kieron jerks his hand free from mine and jumps back. “What the hell?!” he shouts and rubs his arm. “Think that’s as far as I’m going,” he adds with a grimace.
I hurry back to him. “Are you okay? What happened?”
“I’ll live.” He glances at me, still holding his arm. “You obviously didn’t feel anything?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. What—”
“Consider it a friendly reminder as to your boundaries,” a cool voice says.
Kieron and I both turn around to see Anastasia emerging from behind some tall rose bushes. Again I’m struck by her freakish similarity to Tatiana, and at the same time, the extreme difference between the two. A perfect metaphor for this place. Anastasia is shiny and beautiful and polished and sparkly… but I’d much rather have my simple, blind, grey-haired Tattie.
“I made
it perfectly clear no demons were to come within fifty feet of the main house. Consider that a friendly warning. Next time I won’t be so nice.” She casually takes a pair of shears and snips the stem of a perfect white rose and places it in a basket.
“Well, obviously we didn’t exactly get that memo,” I snap. What is it with this woman? First she tortures me, then she sets up some supernatural fence to hurt Kieron. What’s next?
She walks over to us, her long white sundress floating behind her in the soft breeze, and fixes her brilliant eyes on me. I shudder. She gives me a faint smile before shifting her gaze to Kieron.
“It’s nothing personal, you see,” she continues in a soft voice, glancing back and forth between the two of us. “It is strictly for my protection and peace of mind. I have granted you sanctuary and protection on my lands, but you must stay within your boundaries. I do believe you wish me no harm, but you are a demion, and therefore cannot be trusted.”
“Kieron’s good! You can trust—”
She holds up her hand, silencing my outburst. “Child, do not talk to me about the ‘goodness’ of a demon. You must think me mad!”
I shake my head. “He’s a demion. Big difference. He has human in him… and he holds his humanity as dear as I hold mine. He’s no worse than I am.”
She narrows her sparkly eyes and slowly gazes up and down his body several times. The corner of her mouth turns up in a smirk. “That’s not entirely true. There is a stench of evilness and death on him that isn’t present on you. Nevertheless, I knew what I was getting into allowing demions on my lands. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. But you will keep your distance.”
“Ma’am, we are grateful for your hospitality, and I’m happy to follow any rules or instructions while staying here that will make you more comfortable. I didn’t know I wasn’t welcome—”
“Well, now you know. I was quite explicit with Lucky last night. Is there a communication problem here?”