When his hand coasted up my waist and cupped my breast through my bra, I jerked a little with surprise. I’d never let Alex close enough to do anything like this. I’d never wanted it. But with Jake, I’d started to fantasize about it.
Having him touch me in real life was a million times better.
Jake broke our kiss. “I want to touch you.” He pulled gently at a button in my shirt, his hesitancy a question. I nodded, my eyes fixated on his face and the intensity of his expression. All that focus, all that need was for me.
It made me feel strangely powerful and in control.
Shivering but not with cold this time, I waited impatiently as Jake popped the buttons on my shirt, gently spreading it open so I was naked except for my bra. To my shock my nipples hardened under his perusal, something that had never happened to me before. That hard tightness was like a tease and my hips undulated under Jake in a silent plea for more.
He sucked in his breath and put pressure on my left hip with his palm. “Baby, calm. You keep doing that and I’m going to lose it.”
I tensed, suddenly unsure. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he whispered hoarsely and then kissed me softly. “Don’t ever be sorry.” He coasted his hand over my naked belly. “Can I see you?”
Knowing exactly what he meant, I took a breath. I wanted this, I did, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t worried about how attractive he’d find me naked. Licking my dry lips, I nodded again and reached up to undo the front clasp on my bra.
Tentatively, Jake brushed the fabric apart and the cold air blew over my naked breasts, my nipples pebbling into impossibly hard points. I felt Jake swell even thicker between my legs.
“Fuck,” he muttered as he cupped me carefully, his touch worshipping. “You’re so beautiful.”
I arched into his hand, wanting more, wanting pressure … or something. “Jake,” I squirmed, wishing I knew what it was I was asking for so I could tell him.
It didn’t matter since it seemed Jake was a good guesser.
He crushed his mouth over mine, his kiss hungry and wet, and he squeezed my breasts gently, sending a lightning rod of feeling straight to my core. I cried out into his mouth, lifting my hips again, pushing against his hard-on, wanting pressure there.
Jake growled, his lips moving from my mouth and trailing down my neck and chest until he reached my right nipple. He blew his hot breath over it and it puckered up for him. “Yes,” I breathed and then sighed as he took it into his mouth, sucking it so hard, the tight pleasure between my legs became almost unbearable.
“Jake,” I clutched at his hair, “Jake, please.”
His head came up and his features were taut, his breathing heavier, shallow, as he braced up on his arms, his hands at either side of my head. He thrust suddenly and his erection pushed up against me. At my pleasured gasp, Jake began to roll his hips, rubbing harder but torturously slowly. “You ever had an orgasm, baby?” he asked quietly, his voice so full of sex, I barely recognized it.
“What?” I gasped again, trying to catch my breath.
“You ever make yourself come?”
My cheeks heated and I shook my head. “No.”
“Can I make you come?”
“Do you even have to ask?” I moaned.
Jake found this amusing. I didn’t. I was too impatient to discover whatever it was my body was reaching for.
He stopped moving against me and I instantly frowned. “What are you doing?”
In answer, Jake reached for the top button on my pants. Thankfully, I’d taken off the belt with the cuffs before I’d gotten onto the truck bed so we had no obstacles slowing us down.
“Is this okay?” he asked softly, unbuttoning my pants. I had to admit I liked that he kept checking to make sure I was all right.
“Yeah, baby,” I whispered back and saw his eyes flare at the endearment. It was the first time I’d said it.
He kissed me as his fingers tugged on my zipper, the sound abnormally loud in the quiet night. My hips jerked at the touch of his fingers above the line of my panties and I could feel Jake hesitate. He began to pull away so I clutched his neck and kissed him harder. As our tongues tangled, the kiss deeper than any we’d shared before, Jake’s hand slipped under my panties and his fingers pressed against me, coming to rest on my clit.
The feeling made me cry out. Our mouths parted as I looked up into his eyes in shock.
He lowered his forehead against mine, his eyes closed, and he began to move his fingers over my clit. The coil of tension in my belly tightened and I whimpered.
“That’s it,” he murmured against my mouth, “baby, that’s it.”
I pushed against his fingers, my own digging into his waist as I clutched him tight and let him build my body up to something wonderful.
Not much time passed before the coil snapped and lights flared behind my eyes as I arched my back and fell apart, my body shuddering against him as I experienced my first-ever orgasm.
It was a whole new world.
Coming back down to earth, I tried to catch my breath as my heart pounded against my ribs. The blood rushed in my ears, drowning out all other sound.
Jake kissed me, a butterfly brush against my lips, then my jaw, then my collarbone, and then my breasts. Lazily, because my body felt all jellified and languid, I ran my fingers through his hair as he played with my breasts and licked at my nipples, sending beautiful aftershocks and shivers through me.
“Thank you,” I whispered and Jake’s head immediately shot up.
He shook his head, his expression impassioned. “No, baby … thank you.”
Loving that and wanting to repay it, I shoved against him and the move so surprised Jake, it allowed me to roll him on his back. As I moved over him, my breasts seemed to hypnotize him and he immediately reached up to cup them in his hands.
I closed my eyes in pleasure as his thumbs brushed over my nipples and it took me a minute to shake myself out of the spell he kept putting me under. “No,” I murmured, pulling back. “It’s your turn.”
“Charley,” his voice cracked with need, “you don’t have to. Tonight was for you. We don’t have to do everything at once.”
“But I want to see you.”
Jake closed his eyes as if he was in pain. “You’re going to kill me.”
I smiled and leaned over to whisper over his lips, “But what a way to go.”
He reached up to cup my cheek in his hand, his expression seeming somewhat awed. “You’re amazing, you know that, right?”
His words seeped into my chest and curled around the ache of feeling that lived in there, that ache that belonged to him and him alone. “You make me feel amazing, Jake. You make me feel like I can be just who I am. I’ve never trusted anyone the way I trust you.”
Abruptly, Jake sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me hard against his chest. “I feel the same way about you.”
“Good.” I nibbled his lower lip and then smiled against his mouth. “Can I see you?” I repeated his words back to him. Jake nodded slowly.
His arms loosened so I could move from his lap to his thighs. Cockiness seeming to return, Jake casually leaned back on the palms of his hands and stared at me as if to say, “Well?”
I narrowed my eyes on him, which made him smile.
My faux frown disappeared, melting under his charm. I smiled back and then looked down at his lap where his erection strained against his jeans. Suddenly feeling a little dry-mouthed again, it came as no surprise to me when my hands trembled as I reached out to unzip him.
Jake noticed. “Baby, we don’t have to do this tonight.”
“I want to,” I promised him. I attributed the trembling to not wanting to disappoint him, but I shoved that thought away as soon as I looked deep into Jake’s eyes. I trusted myself when I was with him. I trusted him with me. He would never make me feel bad about myself.
Slipping my hand under Jake’s boxer briefs, his abs jerked at my touch. My heart w
as back to thudding like crazy as I encircled my hand around his hot, silken but throbbing erection.
I squeezed it gently, testing the waters, and Jake groaned. Spurred on by the sexy strain in his features and dark heat in his eyes, I tugged him out into the cold air and stared.
So that was what it looked like. Wow.
His reddish-purple mushroom-headed hard-on was so big, I instantly wondered how this thing was going to eventually fit inside me. My mind wandered briefly and my stomach flipped with nerves, but the sound of Jake’s scratchy voice asking me to stroke him pulled me back to the present.
As I watched Jake watch me, his hips jerked to meet my strokes and his cheeks colored with heightened passion. His breathing grew more and more shallow and he began to pant. Witnessing his arousal and knowing I was the cause of it was almost as good as what he’d done to me. It turned out I had nothing to worry about regarding getting this stuff right. I caught on quickly, and honestly, Jake seemed easily pleased.
When he came in a sticky mess all over my hand, my eyes grew so big, Jake was still amused about it when he took me home. I endured his teasing, though, knowing I’d find some way to pay him back.
Later, before I got out of the car, my palms already sweating at the thought of seeing my parents and hoping that they didn’t notice the lack of innocence in my eyes, Jake tugged me close and kissed me. I also then hoped my parents weren’t spying on us because the way Jake kissed me … well … it was filled with knowing. It was sexual. It was possessive. It was different from any kiss that had come before it because our relationship had changed.
We were truly intimate now.
A thrill coursed through me as I pulled back from him and smiled.
It should’ve scared me how crazy I was about this boy, but it didn’t, because I had the comforting knowledge that Jake Caplin was just as crazy about me.
The month of October sped by. When I didn’t have my head buried in my laptop and fogged with energy drinks, I was hanging out with Claudia, sometimes our roommates, crashing mini-parties in the apartments in our block, or hanging out with The Stolen and attending whatever gigs they’d managed to line up. Things with Jake were better, especially when it was just the two of us. I had coffee with him at least once a week and we went to the gym together three times a week. There was still that distance between us, but we could banter back and forth to cover it. Whenever the entire group was there, however, it was a little strained, mostly because of Melissa’s presence.
During those times the rest of the group did their best to distract me—whether I was watching the bizarre friendship between Claudia and Beck that was so thick with sexual chemistry, we were all waiting for the entire thing to explode, or whether I was flirting with Lowe or watching Lowe flirt with someone else, or cracking up at the socially awkward crap that Matt said. Beck and Lowe were constantly hooking up with girls, which definitely didn’t bother me and didn’t appear to bother Claudia, so it caused no awkwardness. I did often wonder if Beck was trying to get a reaction out of Claud, though. There was something in the way he studied her when he thought she wasn’t aware of his regard.
I wasn’t interfering. My own romantic life was a mess. I had no right to delve into anyone else’s.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. This is not me. Not to mention the fact that I have a paper due in three days and I’ve only written fifty words.” I turned from the mirror in Claudia’s room, my arms akimbo, my legs splayed. It was an unfortunate choice of body language considering my costume and Claudia immediately burst into laughter.
I was dressed as Supergirl.
Claudia was Wonder Woman.
The outfits were ridiculous and showed off a lot more skin than either of us was used to. It occurred to me that she might be trying to make a point to someone and I’d gotten dragged into the whole thing so she would have me to share in the mortification of it all. Still … I eyed her red and gold bustier and star-spangled blue hot pants and decided the belly top, miniskirt, and cape I was wearing could be worse.
“We can’t go out like this,” I groaned, glancing back at the mirror. “If I become a cop and pictures of me dressed like this get out, I’ll never live it down.”
Claudia grimaced. “Is that all you think about? We’re twenty years old and we’re hot. Halloween is the one night of the year we can feel free to show boobs and leg. And our outfits are cute. More to the point, we need this. The guys are great and all, but we’ve been hanging out with them for nearly six weeks. While they rack up a bunch of temporary romances between them, we’ve been dry. Until now. Tonight is for us.”
“We promised the guys we’d go to their gig.”
My friend shrugged. “We’ll go for a little while. Then we hit the party.” She gave me a sharp look. “It’ll be good for you to hang out with someone who is not Lowe or Jake. Especially not Jake. I can’t imagine how Melissa feels about you two spending time together.” Claud narrowed her eyes. “I’m guessing Jake hasn’t told her. She’s been too cool with you. Either that, or she’s a really good actress. She hasn’t looked at you like she wants to kill you. Not once.”
“That’s because Melissa is nice.”
Claudia snorted. “You make nice sound like a bad thing.”
“It’s not a bad thing. We’re just so different. I don’t see how Jake could’ve loved me when he’s in love with someone so completely my opposite.” I winced as soon as I said it out loud. It had been on my mind the last few weeks, niggling in my gut. Melissa and I were so different, I was beginning to think that it couldn’t have been possible for Jake to be in love with me. My memories, though … well, they liked to argue with that toxic thought.
“You’re nice too, Charley. Melissa’s just really quiet and reserved.”
“And I’m loud and obnoxious?”
“No,” Claudia laughed. “You’re confident and you’re a smart-ass.”
I scowled. “I wish people would stop calling me that.”
“Then stop being a smartass.”
I wrinkled my nose at her and turned back to my reflection. “I feel naked.”
Claudia came up beside me and rested her chin on my shoulder, her grin gleeful. “Aaron is going to die when he sees you.” She lifted her head and smoothed a hand over her hair. “Zach is going to die when he sees me.”
A few days ago Claudia and I were in the Library Bar at Teviot when these two guys sitting across from us started chatting. They were both from southern England and had very cool, very hot accents. They were smart and funny and cute and a lot of flirting had flown across the aisle of tables. It turned out they were senior undergrads and lived in one of the swankier apartments beside the main campus, just up from The Meadows—the park located behind the university.
Luckily, I thought Aaron was funny and Claudia thought Zach was charming and vice versa, so there was no fighting over who was interested in whom. The guys invited us to their Halloween party and before I could say anything, Claudia accepted for the both us, taking down their cell numbers too. In a way, I would’ve been much more comfortable with the whole Supergirl costume if we were heading directly to their party. It was stopping off at Milk on the way that was making me nervous.
And I had every right to be nervous.
We turned up at the bar and none of the guys were in costume—not even a little bit. Neither were Rowena or Melissa.
We walked across the bar, attempting to ignore the grins and catcalls from strange guys and girls, and I fought to keep my cheeks from burning. Claudia giggled at the glare I shot her way. She made the most of the scene we were creating by putting her arm around my waist and a little more wiggle in her hips.
The mischievous twinkle in her eyes loosened me up a little and I chuckled, letting her squeeze me close. As I tried my best to pretend I felt as sassy as I looked, the whistles brought Denver’s head up from talking to Rowena. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of us. I lip-read the words, “Holy fuck,” as they spill
ed out of his mouth, and that brought all of the band’s heads around, including Jake and Melissa.
I did my absolute best to avoid eye contact with Jake and instead took in the open-mouthed gaga expressions on the guys’ faces. It was pretty funny. Sometimes guys were just so easy.
“Santa finally got my letter,” Beck said as the image of Claudia in her Wonder Woman costume burned into his retinas.
“We need to send the fat man a case of beer,” Lowe added, his own gaze on my legs.
“I won’t be needing my porn tonight,” Matt informed us.
“Oh, Matt,” Claudia and I groaned as Beck slapped him across the head.
“What?” Matt cried, rubbing his head. “That’s a compliment.”
“It’s fucking gross.” Lowe grinned, shaking his head at him.
“You were all thinking it.”
Beck glared at him. “Claud and Charley don’t need to hear that shit out loud, though.”
“What’s with the costumes anyway?” Denver asked, grinning at us. “Other than to provide us all with masturbatory fantasies.”
I grimaced. “Thanks for that. And the costumes are for a costume party.”
“Party?” Beck asked Claudia before taking a drink of beer and sitting back down at the table.
“We were invited to a party on Simpson Loan behind the university so we can only stay for a little bit. I’ll text you the address so you guys can catch up after your set if you want.”
“Sure.” Lowe nodded and then caught my eye. “I get the feeling I’m only going to get to see this once in my entire lifetime, so I’m making the most of it.”
“Me too,” Beck agreed, smiling wide at us. He flicked his eyes casually to Jake and Melissa. “You guys coming with?”
Melissa looked to Jake for the answer and he nodded. “Sure.” Sensing my gaze, Jake looked up at me. I had to admit, I was a little disappointed he didn’t treat me to the almost X-ray perusal Lowe and Beck had. Instead his mouth twitched. “Supergirl? Finally embracing it, huh?”