“This. Is. Brilliant,” Dee piped up, her enjoyment evident in her voice. “Please, don’t mind me.”
Sasha whipped her head around, realizing for the second time that we had an audience. “I’m so sorry for falling asleep. I didn’t get much sleep last night because your brother kept me up,” Sasha admitted quickly. “He does that a lot.”
“I bet he does.” Dee laughed and shot me a suggestive wink. The kind of wink I never wanted to receive from my sister.
Sasha froze beside me as Dee’s wink and what it meant struck her.
“Oh god. No, no, no, not like that. Well, he usually does that, but last night it was via text.”
“Fuck me,” I muttered in amusement as Dee burst out laughing at Sasha's revelations.
“No! I don’t mean we were sexting. We were just talking,” she stuttered as her cheeks turned pink. “Ben, stop me! Before I tell Dee about the time you—”
She gasped against my lips as I pressed mine against hers. I didn’t care that Dee was in the room, or Ava and Joseph could walk in at any time. I just needed to feel her against me. It had been too long since I’d kissed her, so if I got to taste her for a few seconds, I was going to savor every moment. Her body went liquid against me, and she sighed when I ran my tongue against her lips. I felt her hesitation in her kiss, but then she granted me what I wanted, and she opened up for me. She tasted of strawberry wine and second chances. Of new beginnings, and reservations. I pulled away slightly, kissed her softly with a closed mouth, and stood from the couch. Her eyes were locked on me, and she moved her finger tips to her lips.
“I’ll walk you out,” I informed Dee, who was still staring at Sasha. I waited a beat for her to look at me but she gave me nothing. “Dee!”
“What?” She jumped.
I smiled. “Let’s go.”
She nodded and stumbled out in a daze. I looked back in the living room before I walked outside to say goodbye, and Sasha was still sitting on the couch with her fingers to her lips.
After watching Dee, Terry, and the kids pull away, I walked back inside, locked up, and stepped into the living room.
Sasha was nowhere to be found. I eventually found her in the kitchen, cleaning at a hundred miles an hour. Leaning against the doorframe, I watched her. The past month had been hell, and I knew I had to give her time. But time was up now that I’d kissed her. Her taste was what I craved, and now that I’d satisfied the craving, I wasn’t suffering withdrawals again. Having her body again would be the ultimate reward. I pushed off from the wall and moved to her. My hands went to her hips and she jumped under my touch.
“You kissed me?” she whispered.
“Yeah, Sweetheart.”
“I missed kissing you,” she admitted, and I swear those four words felt like winning the lottery. “I missed you.” She turned in my arms, and something in her eyes told me I wasn’t going to like what she said next. “But, I need to go home. Tonight’s been kind of crazy.”
“Stay with me.” I wasn’t afraid to beg when it came to Sasha. “Just give me tonight.”
I knew what would happen. She’d go home, get lost in her head, and those walls that both Drew and Crazy John had mentioned would add another layer, then she would shut me out.
“You need to hand over those keys so I can get in there,” I whispered, leaning in and brushing her lips with mine. “Give me the keys to your heart, Sweetheart. You won’t regret it. Let me get in there and start clearing out the hurt. I don’t want to keep losing you.”
Her green eyes stared back at me, swimming with emotion and conflict as she struggled with what I said.
“Please give me tonight,” she begged.
I could never say no to her, so I walked her to her car, kissed her goodnight, and watched her drive away.
36
SASHA
I stood on Ben’s front porch and stared at the door. I’d only left his house two hours ago after spending the afternoon with his family, but I just couldn’t stay away. I knew that if I knocked, everything would change. I’d be opening up to him in a way I never had before. I’d be moving on from the secrets that had been kept from me and the hurt I felt. I’d be handing him the pick and telling him to start chipping away at another layer of my wall. The past month had felt like a year. Honestly, it was hell. How could he have made it so hard to live without him in such a short time? But that was how it had been.
Thankfully, things had been silent in regard to Edward. I could only hope that he'd left town. It was wishful thinking at its best. Everything seemed almost normal. Well, as normal as it could be. I knew that my house had been watched when I was there. None of the men in my life would have allowed me to stay on my own if I didn’t have protection. Drew had made sure of that, and he asked me repeatedly to stay with him, but I refused. That was when it started. I had a constant rotation of Monroe police officers with eyes on my house, or Crazy John would spend the night. The only time I wasn’t being watched was on Sundays. That was because I had Ben’s protection. Sunday was the day I felt no sense of unease.
But over the past month, Edward hadn't made a play. He hadn't contacted Drew or me, nothing had happened at Hamilton's, and as far as everyone knew, he'd left Monroe after the showdown at Missy's.
That gave me some peace, because I wasn't living with the fear of running into him on Main Street, or him dropping into Sass. But it also made me feel better about Paige and Shelley still working at Hamilton's, even though both of them were still in the dark about what was, and had been, happening.
Through all of this, Ben gave me the space I asked for; however, it was no longer the space I wanted.
I sucked in a deep breath, lifted my fist, and knocked.
To say I was shocked when Austin opened the door would be an understatement. To say I was pleasantly surprised that he was shirtless would be correct.
"Hey, Sash," he said, offering me a smile and a once over. "What're you doing here?"
I said the first thing that came to mind. "Its nine o'clock at night. Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"
His low chuckle warmed me. "Hunt and I just came back from the gym. Your man needed to work off some tension. Although, I'm thinking you may be here to help him with that."
"Are you going to let me in?" I huffed.
He opened the door, now laughing, and I stepped into Ben's house. My eyes instantly moved to the living room, hoping that I'd find a shirtless Ben there, but it was empty.
"He’s taking a shower," Austin answered the question I never got to ask. “And I’m just leaving.”
“You don’t have to leave.”
"Yeah, babe, I do. But can I just say something before I go?"
I nodded and waited.
"Been friends with Ben for as long as I can remember, and I class him as a brother. I knew when he found a woman that he'd give her the world, and Sash, that's what he wants to give you. He is the best man I know, and it's going to be an honor to watch you two carve your future together, because I know that's why you're here. Treat him right, and he will give you the fucking world, and so much more."
"Whoever wins your heart is going to be a real lucky girl," I whispered, then I leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"We'll see," he responded, and I couldn't ignore the sound of hesitation in his voice. "Lock up after I leave."
I did what he said and ultimately locked Ben and me in his house, although he had no clue I was here. Austin's words swirling in my head, and the butterflies in my stomach, kept me company as I walked through the living room and toward the hall.
Treat him right.
Give you the fucking world.
I touched my lips and felt the smile I wore.
My smile gave me strength, and the butterflies gave me the push I needed.
I opened the bathroom door quietly and stepped into the steam filled room. The air in my lungs dissolved as I stared at Ben. With his back toward me and his head back as the stream of water cascaded over his body, I drank in a
ll that he was. Silently, I began to undress, though my eyes remained on him. Suddenly, he turned, and our eyes connected. It felt like the world stopped spinning. It was the confirmation I needed to know that I was where I needed to be. I moved toward the shower, and his gaze left mine as he basked in the nakedness of my body. I opened the glass door, stepped into the water, and stood before him.
"I can't end Sundays without you anymore," I whispered, hoping that he'd give me a sign to tell me he wanted this as much as I did.
His face dipped, then his lips touched mine and ignited fireworks throughout me. That was the only confirmation I needed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressed my breasts against his chest, and kissed him like it was our very first time.
He emitted a low growl, and I smiled against his lips. But I wasn't done. I wanted to make him roar. I tore my mouth from his and looked up at him.
"You ready to give me those keys yet?" he whispered, as he pushed a strand of my hair off my cheek and tucked it behind my ear.
"Almost."
He blinded me with a smile, and it told me that he'd wait.
"So, I realized something on the drive over here," I said, moving my hands over his chest and enjoying the feel of his muscles. "You've tasted me, but I've never tasted you."
Fire flashed in his eyes, and I licked my lips, silently telling him what I was about to do. Slowly, I dropped to my knees in the bottom of the shower. His cock was thick, hard, and magnificent. His growl tore through the shower when I wrapped my hand around him and slowly began pumping him. Water streamed over me as I knelt in front of Ben. My hand moved fast and then slow, hard and then soft. I needed to taste him. Shifting forward, I swept my tongue over the head of his cock, and it jerked against me. My confidence and sass came alive. I took him in, teasing just an inch, and then sucked only the tip before swirling my tongue along his thick shaft. His breathing was heavy, and his body jerked with every move I made. I opened my throat and took him in deep. I sucked, swirled, licked, and devoured his cock like it was my favorite meal. His precome coated my tongue, and I moaned as I finally got to taste him. His hand gripped my hair, and the best kind of pain shot through me, just like it did whenever he held onto me. My head moved quick, giving him everything I had before I stopped, looked up at him, and swallowed around his cock, locking him deep inside my throat.
"Jesus fucking Christ," he groaned as his cock jerked. "Fuck, Sasha."
I hummed in the back of my throat, and the vibration against him was all he could take. With a curse and a hiss of my name, I was hauled to my feet, lifted off the ground, and pushed against the tiled wall. In one frantic, quick thrust, Ben was inside of me for the first time in a month. I screamed his name, crying out as we lost control. The water continued to fall around us, crashing like a waterfall, but all I could concentrate was on Ben. He moved his hips, and I rode his cock, getting closer by second. This wasn't about slow and steady; this was about raw, all-consuming need for each other.
"Sunday is officially my favorite day of the week," I panted, as my body tingled.
"Any day of the week with you is my favorite," he groaned, our eyes locking onto one another. "You ready to come around my cock?"
I was more than ready.
I nodded, and it was like he turned the switch to explosive. His hands squeezed my ass, and then he took control of my movements as if I didn't weigh a thing. His pace didn't falter. He went deeper than ever before, and I held on for the ride of my life.
"Oh god," I moaned as I felt it coming. My body began to clench around him, and I knew he felt it when he sucked in a desperate breath.
"Nothing like feeling your pussy squeeze my cock. Fuck, Sweetheart, you ruin me."
His words, the shower, and the feeling of him owning me from the inside out tipped me over the edge, and I came screaming his name, and he followed soon after, roaring mine.
I woke from my sex-induced coma to find a dark room and an empty bed. I had no clue the time, or whether it was middle of the night or just before daybreak. I was all kinds of delusional, but that’s a price you pay for being on the receiving end of life-changing sex. After we had christened the shower, we dried as fast as humanly possible, and he'd dragged me to his bedroom where we commenced round two, three, and four of the night's activities. I had no recollection of how many times he made me come. I had no clue how long we had sex for, or how many positions we conquered, but what I did know was that there was no way I could live without him.
I threw back the comforter and hissed as the chilled air slapped my naked skin. I rustled around for Ben’s shirt and slipped it on after climbing out of his bed. With quiet steps, I padded down the hall and stepped into the living room.
No matter how many times I saw him shirtless, I still became breathless at the sight of his manly perfection. Tonight, I was gifted with the vision of him leaning against the kitchen island with his legs crossed at the ankles, bare-chested, and wearing sweatpants that sat dangerously low on his hips. Pure, freaking, sex!
Like he knew I was devouring him, his eyes shot to me. “Sasha’s up. Gotta go,” he clipped into his phone.
After ending the call and placing his phone on the counter, he stalked across the kitchen, eyes on mine, until they dropped to take in my outfit. His shirt hung loosely around my thighs, and how seeing my panties were still somewhere in his bathroom, I was bare underneath. The heat and desire radiating from his stare made me feel sexier than ever before.
“You okay?”
With a nod, I answered, as words failed me. I was beyond okay. I felt like I’d been shocked back to life and given the chance of a new beginning with him.
“Are you okay?” I said, mimicking his question and finding my voice.
He cocked his head, shot me one of his infamous smirks, and murmured, “Yeah.”
“Are you sure?” I pressed. Instead of losing my voice, now I’d found too much of it.
He grabbed the edge of the shirt and hurled me toward him. “I am more than okay. I just got royally fucked by a beautiful woman who has given me a second chance and who is standing in my kitchen wearing my shirt, with flushed cheeks, epic sex hair, and her scent all over my skin. So yeah, Sweetheart, I’m more than fucking okay.”
Thank god he was holding onto me, otherwise I would have crumbled to the floor in a panting mess. I had nothing. No comeback, no words, basically no ability to function. He chuckled at my silence, and as if I weighed nothing, he put his hands on my hips, lifted me from my feet, and placed me on the counter.
He smirked and took a step toward me, then my legs developed a mind of their own and opened. He took advantage and stepped in. “Hungry?”
My eyes had a mind of their own and ran down his chest, then back up to his face. “For you? Or food?”
“Both.” He winked then leaned down and kissed me softly. “Although, I should feed you. Then we need to talk. Then I’ll fuck you again. Then we need some more sleep.”
I rolled my eyes. “If I wasn’t excited about three out of those four things, I’d tell you that you are seriously bossy.”
“Pretty sure you love my bossy ways.”
I scoffed and pushed on his shoulder. “Are you feeding me or what?”
“Fuck, it's good to have you back.”
"It's good to be back," I muttered. "But you need to promise me, no more secrets. I need to be kept up to date with things. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I can handle it, Ben. If I'm lied to again, there won't be a third chance."
His cheek jumped as he stared at me. "I can give you that, but you've got to know some things about me. There are going to be times when I'm going to want to hide you away from the world. Because that's me wanting to protect something to means something to me. Fuck, Sasha, you mean a lot to me. More than any other woman. I'm going to be bossy, I'm going to frustrate you, and I'm going to piss you off. It's going to be my job to protect your heart once you let me in. That is my priority. So yes, Sasha, there will be no more secrets between us, b
ut I will shield you from things that have the potential to take you away from me again, because I cannot handle that. So, no more talk of a third fucking chance, because this is it. This is us."
After years of feeling like an afterthought, I never gave myself the chance to imagine being someone's first choice. Years of living with the demons of not being worth it, of not being important enough to stick around, had wounded me so deep that I did everything in my power to protect myself from allowing anyone close. My wall allowed me to be strong. It allowed me to be resilient. It was the only way I knew since I was fifteen. I had a good life. I’d created a life that I controlled, and I depended on only myself. I could never have expected to meet a man with the strength or perseverance of Ben. More than anything though, I never thought I’d meet a man who would bring beauty to my world when everything else seemed to be turning so ugly.
I leaned forward, wrapped my arms around his waist, and pulled him toward me. "You're giving me too much beauty," I whispered, as I crashed against his chest and held him tighter than ever before.
"Sash, this is just the beginning."
37
BEN
Five days later, shit began to come undone.
O'Leary had reappeared, and he was cockier than ever. His arrival back in Monroe was confirmed when he turned up at Hamilton's. He had walked into the bar, taken a seat, and sat on one drink until close. He also brought Kay, known around Monroe as the woman to visit if you wanted a blow job or a quick fuck. She also had a posse of women who did the same as her. Throughout the night, he hadn't said a word to anyone but her, but he stared down Drew any chance he got.
The next day, he decided to visit Sass. Thankfully, Crazy John was there to pick up Sasha to go to lunch. He'd found her frozen to the spot behind the counter with her eyes locked on O'Leary, who was walking around her store. Again, O'Leary hadn't said a word; he'd just made it his mission to intimidate her. And it worked.