Dylan ran to her, helping her up. “What’s happening?”
The healer, whose name was Alandra, kept shaking her head in disbelief. She was now pale and diaphoretic, sweat dripped down her smooth hair and neck, clinging to her skin.
“I can’t stop it; it’s powerful darkling magic. I—I’m not strong enough,” she whispered. Her hands shook from the effort as she tried to stand up. Instead, Dylan led her to the bed next to Shade’s and gently placed her on it just as Ilarial burst into the room.
“Did it work?” Ilarial stooped over Shade and touched her forehead, feeling her burning with fever and still unconscious. Her other hand slid down her arm and touched the black mark on Shade’s forearm. She pulled her finger back as if it burned and rubbed it with her other fingers. “The darkling died marking her. He must’ve wanted her dead quite badly.” She glanced up, watching as Dylan returned to Shade’s side. “Alandra is depleted. I won’t be able to stop it completely, but I can delay the poison for a few days.” Her eyes were filled with worry.
“A few days? What do you mean you can’t stop it?” Dylan furrowed his brow and stared at the oracle, not wanting to believe what he was hearing. Turning back toward Shade, it dawned on him that she might not be saved this time. “She’s dying.”
“I’m afraid so.” Ilarial placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling his tension seep through her. Her heart was aching, like a knife was twisting violently in it.
“But she can’t die, she… I can’t let her die.” Dylan slipped to his knees, taking Shade’s fragile, thin hand into his. She looked so vulnerable and so frail all of sudden. This couldn’t be happening; she couldn’t die. Not yet. Not when he had so much still to tell her.
“I can delay it for three days. You have to take her to the Ancient Ice King, like she was planning to do. She might be able to fight it with her own healing abilities returned to her and his help. You have to convince him to relinquish the hold he has on her.”
Dylan nodded. A new determination set in his steel grey eyes. “I understand.”
It took all of his own resolve to keep from losing his mind. He watched as the oracle turned her attention back to Shade and grasped her hands. She began chanting another incantation over her and the spot began to glow a brilliant white as smoke began slipping from it and up into the air more violently. It circled around them, faster and faster, churning and forming a small wind tunnel as it spun and spun.
The smell it produced burned his nostrils and made his eyes water. Dark magic was never pleasant to any of the senses, and it made his skin tingle like being pricked by a cactus. A similar noise like an echo of the darkling’s scream rang in his ears as he closed his eyes, praying that Ilarial could extend Shade’s life. The chances of making it out alive from one of the most lethal poisons in the Land of Faerie were slim.
The sound of wind and screams slowly died away, and the rancid stench from the spot faded away suddenly, making Dylan snap his eyes open. The room was once more still, but he watched as Ilarial stumbled slightly, barely reaching a chair placed next to the bed. She slipped down into it, breathing rapidly.
Sweat gleamed on her brow and her usually bright silver eyes seemed darker than before. As she slowly regained her composure, her voice came out quiet and full of sadness. “I managed to slow it down, but she has three days, at the maximum.”
As she spoke, Shade moaned and shifted in the bed. Her eyes fluttered, and she stared up toward the ceiling, her eyes glassy and red.
“Shade?” Dylan squeezed her hand and studied the spot. It was smaller but still as black as ink. The trail remained like a dark tangle of vines up her forearm, making it look like a tattoo. Her skin was not as pale as before, though, which let him breathe a sigh of relief.
“Dylan?”
“I’m here. Feeling okay?” He pushed his fear deep within him and pasted a smile across his face, not wanting to upset Shade.
“Like I got run over.”
He chuckled and pushed a strand of her hair out of her face. She began to look more normal and shifted to sit up in the bed. “What happened?”
“The darkling mark… it’s poisonous and making you really sick.”
She reached over and ran her fingers over the darkened spot and traced the vines that splintered from it. It didn’t hurt anymore, but she frowned as she studied it. The pain had subsided, but she wondered how long that would last.
“When will it go away? Ilarial?” She glanced toward Ilarial, suddenly realizing the oracle was seated next to her. Her face lit up as she smiled, but it quickly faded as she realized how worn-out the oracle looked. “How did you get here? What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry, Shade, but I don’t think it ever will go away. It’s highly poisonous, and I could only stall its effects for few days before it will overwhelm you.” The oracle leaned toward her and took her slender hands into hers. The sadness that dwelled in her glistening eyes sent a wave a panic through Shade.
“What do you mean, ‘overwhelm’ me?” Her eyes darted to Dylan and the glum look on his face gave her no assurance. “You mean I’m going to… die?”
The room wavered in her vision and a jolt of nausea filled her as she tried to control her short, gasping breathes. She couldn’t die! She wasn’t ready yet!
“I think I—I think I have to get out of here.” Shade attempted to stand up and quickly sat right back down. Her legs felt like fluid and refused to cooperate. “What’s wrong with me?” Leaning over, she gripped her legs and rocked silently as the tears escaped and spilled onto her jeans. “How long?”
“Three days, at the most.”
“What do I do? Can I stop it?”
“Possibly.”
This jerked her out of the fog that was threatening to overtake her senses. Shade sat back up and waited for Ilarial to continue. “How?”
“You have to seek out the Ice King and make him return your powers. Possibly, with your magical healing powers, you can heal yourself. If not, you’ll need the help of the Ancient. I’ve exhausted every other option. If you don’t, you will succumb to the poison.”
Shade nodded, sniffing back the frustration which bubbled up inside. She felt so tired, so exhausted and all used up. She’d had it with everything and everyone. This wasn’t supposed to be the way things should’ve gone. Everything felt so wrong, so misaligned, and she didn’t have any idea how to fix it. She didn’t know how to make things right. Now she’d run out of time without any progress whatsoever.
Taking a deep breath, she slowly mustered the strength to stand up and paused momentarily to make sure her legs would hold. After an eternal moment where both Dylan and Ilarial watched her apprehensively, she took a few small steps forward, until the fluidity of movement returned to her legs. Soap now stood wild-eyed and shocked as he stared at her as he entered the room. Reaching the door as everyone stood silently, she slipped out the door and turned down the hall toward her room, moving faster and faster, more in control now since the poison’s effects had worn off a bit. Almost running, she crashed through the door to the room she occupied while she stayed at the Glass Castle and locked it swiftly behind her.
She pressed her back against the wood and let out a breath she hadn’t even known she’d been holding. The infirmary had become suffocating, and she’d thought of nothing but getting out of it. Now in solace, she made her way to the bed where she pulled the blankets down, slipped off her shoes and crawled in between the comforter and the soft linen. Dropping her head on the luxurious fluff of pillows, she pulled the blankets to her chin and let her eyelids drop closed. Sleep beckoned her with a promise of anything but pain and everlasting broken hearts.
Chapter Nine
A LOUD KNOCK sounded and echoed in the room, waking Shade from her slumber. Her body ached in every joint and hair follicle, like she had rolled down a cliff. Pushing up off the bed, she realized the sun was long gone and the darkness surrounded her, signifying early morning. The soft glow of the impending sunrise was s
till overwhelmed by the black nothingness outside the window. It made the room feel as if it was part of the forest but for the silence surrounding her as the breeze pushed at the foliage and branches.
The thud against the door came louder and more urgent this time. It made her groan as she kicked off the covers, annoyed as she pushed back her wild, dark hair.
What now? No rest for the weary!
“Who is it?” she partly yelled at the silent door.
“Shade, it’s Soap.” His gentle voice sounded muffled behind the massive wooden door. Scooting to sit at the edge of the bed, Shade sighed and rubbed her face. Her body and mind told her it was around five in the morning, an absurd hour to come calling on anyone, even in Faerie. Especially for a non-morning person like her.
“One sec.” Her clothes from the previous day were still on, though wrinkled and disheveled. She smoothed the creases down as best she could and walked over, unlocking the door. “What is it, Soap? It’s way early.” She glanced down both sides of the hall but Soap was her only visitor.
“I know. I couldn’t sleep. Had to see if you were doing okay.” His shy smile made her defenses crumble. “Can I come in? You can lie back down; I just wanted to see if you wanted to talk about anything.”
Seeing that he was not intent on leaving any time soon, she opened the door wider, letting him slip by before she locked it behind him. No need for anyone traipsing in who shouldn’t be. She was pretty paranoid now. The Land of Faerie had done that to her. Now she always locked doors, avoided mirrors and carried a really nice, sharp dagger with her everywhere she went.
Slumping back onto the bed, she pulled the blankets back over her and let the heat warm away the morning chill. She watched as Soap maneuvered easily in the dark to the other side of the bed to lie down next to her, still fully dressed, on top of the sheets. His long hair was loose and fanned out on the pillow. They had lain many nights next to each other this way, whether in silence or talking about things like the past and Soap’s magical adventures. She always coaxed him to chat more about himself, relishing the moments she could just listen to his stories and his soft voice well into the long, insomnia-filled nights. As Shade preferred not to talk about herself, Soap was a reliable companion for her. He never ran out of things to say or talk about.
She wondered if he knew how comforting his presence had been for her during the long evenings at the beach soon after she had been rescued from the Unseelie palace. Even now, it was a soothing balm to her weary soul. She inched closer to him, laying her head in the crook of his shoulder as he lifted his arm to let her in. Laying her cheek against his chest, the beating of his heart was a soft rhythm in the silence of night.
“So talk.”
“Are you okay?”
“If you call surviving a darkling mark with only three days to live and no magical powers in sight okay, then yeah, sure,” she huffed. After letting out a deep breath, she closed her eyes again. Fatigue was a constant companion. It made her wonder if she would’ve felt so tired if she was merely a human with ordinary cares in the world and homework up the wazoo to do. Something told her it would’ve been a different kind of fatigue, not quite like this. It wasn’t that she thought so much would be better if she wasn’t part faerie, it’s that she was afraid to think that she was right in thinking it.
“Yeah, that can put damper on the party, right?” He squeezed her and kissed the top of her head. He smelled similar to Dylan, and it had her wondering if all the Teleen had this specific scent. It was a pine-filled, smoky aroma which reminded Shade of camping in the forest as a kid. Mulch and falling leaves everywhere, like rain from the sky, littered her memory.
“Look, it’s going to be freezing cold in the Ice Kingdom. I brought you a nice coat to wear while you’re out there. When we get up, I’ll show you.” His statement jolted her out of her sleepiness.
“Wait, what do you mean when I go there? Aren’t you coming?” She cranked her head to stare at the Teleen changeling. His brilliant, green gem eyes glowed in the soft light of early dawn. He smiled slightly as he shook his head. Disappointment filled his eyes.
“No, I’m not going this time, Shade.”
“But why?” No amount of glaring made him budge. He just reached up and stroked her messy brown hair as he studied every line of her face.
“Because I think it’s time for you to evaluate what you really want. I know it isn’t me. I’ve known for a long time, Shade.” His fingers tickled the skin of her face as they made their way to her neck and twirled a thin strand of hair around his fingers.
“What? How can you say that?” Shade gulped, knowing how right he was. She didn’t want to let go, she wasn’t ready yet. “I want you to come with me.”
Soap’s features faded to sadness, still intent on staring into her brown eyes. “I can’t. I can’t watch you love him more. Not this time around. When he was gone, it was tolerable—it was easier to imagine that you loved me.” His hand moved to stroke her arm, sending exploding sparks shooting up it and into her heart. “Now, I’m a shadow in his midst.”
“No, wait….”
“It’s okay.” He pulled her closer, lifting her chin up to look deeper into her eyes. “I accept it. I know I’ll never live up to him, never be what you want me to be. I’m okay with it. I still love you, but you need time to figure it out. You only have days left, if that. I know you will get what you need from that wretched Corb. So I’ll let Dylan spend some time with you. I’m holding out for you, in the end. If you decide, eventually, that he’s not the one for you, I’ll be here. Whatever you decide. Don’t forget.” He touched her nose, letting his fingertip trace along it and down to her lips.
Shade’s heart was breaking, even though everything that he’d said was correct. How he could send her feelings into a tangled mess was disarming. He pulled her closer then, letting his searing lips find hers. She let his mouth explore hers, desperately as though to find some treasure hidden deep inside. It wasn’t the same as before, but he knew her better than she gave him credit for. He’d known the truth for so long, and yet here he was, still pressing her against him and kissing her with a fury that was all-consuming. It made her barriers fall with an incredible crash, this acceptance of her, no matter what.
Coming up for air, she touched her fingertips to her mouth. Surely they were now cherry-kissed and vibrated from his lips. He rang his fingers through her hair once more, admiring every detail he could see clearly in the growing light.
“Goodbye, Shade.” A smile formed on his face, making his eyes shine and his face light up even more than the sun peaking over the horizon. Shade was speechless, unable to form anything coherent as he slipped away, his eyes never leaving hers. As he got past the bed and walked toward the door, he never let go of her gaze. They were locked still, connected in some way which still remained a mystery to Shade.
“No—wait!” She felt off-center and frantic as she watched him leave.
“No, I’m sorry, Shade. If I could change how you felt, I would. I hope this journey, however it ends, helps.” He turned, snapping the lock open and slipped out so quickly she couldn’t register what had just happened.
Alone on her bed, the emptiness of the spot Soap had just left beside her made her gut twist. He was right in what he’d said, but how could he leave so easily? Like a bullet, he had ripped open and exposed her thoughts, leaving her to pick up the million tiny pieces which had dropped and all over the place. She could do nothing but slip back onto her pillow and let the tears flow from her eyes.
The wind shook the world outside. Trees whipped their branches in a rippling dance as they shifted from the force. The sun had lit up the land and greeted the new day with brilliance and might. No comfort from the world came to her; there was nothing but emptiness where a black hole already resided within her. Soap had been her best friend, a loyal companion, a reciprocating love who had been nothing but patient with her. How had she gotten it so wrong? He was right, wasn’t he? She wasn’t in
love with him, not like that. Not like he wanted from her: a complete and all-consuming love.
Her love for him was something more than friendship, yet it wasn’t enough for either of them in the end. Closing her eyes, she saw Dylan in her mind’s eyes, his black hair, his steely eyes gleaming at her as he beamed after having found her again. His was the love that felt like it fit. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe it would all come and bite her right back after all was said and done. Who knew? For now, it was as it was, and she didn’t blame Soap one bit for walking away. How right he was to leave her. Yet how wrong it felt to watch him go.
Part II
The Great Divide
Chapter Ten
NOTHING EVER CHANGES. Even on the brink of the end of her world, Shade felt as if no one around her realized how destroyed she really felt. Glancing around the triangle of three, a ripple of fear weaved its way through her thoughts, and she felt more alone than ever. Brisa had to remain at the Glass Castle, but she’d given Shade a tight hug before the journey, knowing Shade might not return. Only Dylan, Camulus and Shade were making this trip into the desolate wilderness of the frozen wastelands of the Arctic, deep into the Ice Kingdom, to a place Shade had never wanted to visit, let alone know about: The Great Divide.