But government abuse of power does not have to be illegal, clandestine, or even abusive. Sometimes it’s just a matter of the aforementioned confusion of mission. There are so many worthy national goals. And government is charged with achieving all of them. The government is supposed to strengthen the dollar but also increase export trade. The government is supposed to foster full employment but also keep inflation in check. These goals may be contradictory. There is fierce competition among their respective advocates. How can a collectivist government mediate? When the referees field a team, who calls the fouls?
Most government abuse of power is practiced openly, and much of it is heartily approved by the Washington Post editorial board and other such proponents of the good and the fair. But any time the government treats one person differently from another person because of the group to which that person belongs—whether it’s a group of rich special-interest tax dodgers or a group of impoverished minority job seekers—individual equality is lessened, and freedom is diminished. Any time the government gives away goods and services—even if it gives them away to all people equally—individual dependence is increased, and freedom is diminished. And any time the government makes rules about people’s behavior when that behavior does not occasion real and provable harm to others—telling you to buckle your seat belt or forbidding you to say fuck on the Internet—respect for the individual is reduced, and freedom is diminished. An individual could undertake all these things and cause no harm whatsoever and, indeed, might do some good. But the size, puissance, and ubiquitousness of government make such actions dangerous. It’s one thing if I swat the dog, something else if 260 million people do.
THE WORST THING ABOUT GOVERNMENT
There is one last thing about a powerful collectivist government that is worse than everything else, and that’s the person who runs it. And it doesn’t matter how carefully we select our president or how carefully we select the senators and representatives who are supposed to keep that president from doing what he swore he wouldn’t do. Every one of them is going to be a wrong choice. Conservatives believe in individuals. But they don’t believe that individuals are good—just human. And we all know what that means. And even the best human in the world is not fit to wield the enormous power available to the modern collectivist state. To be a liberal is, ultimately, to believe otherwise. If you are a liberal and you think that there are people good enough to be entrusted with such awesome dominion over their fellows, I beg to remind you that Mother Teresa would be right in there with Pat Buchanan on the abortion, school-prayer, and funding-for-NEA issues.
But it’s a moot point. She’s not running. And neither is anybody else who’s much good. The best do not rise in politics, and there are good reasons for this. The best people have jobs or, anyway, family and friends. They’re too busy to spend the day going to National Church Bingo Association Play-or-Pray breakfasts, shaking hands with all the contestants in Square-Off—The U.S. High School Geometry Olympics. Also, all political discourse is conducted via the lowest common denominator. Notice how the extremely complex NAFTA debate quickly degenerated into “Tacos will be cheaper” versus “Mexicans carry knives.” And, finally, running for office is fundamentally a matter of telling untruths. In order to get elected, a politician has to claim that the government can make you richer, smarter, taller, better looking and take six strokes off your golf game. And he has to claim that government can do all these things for free or, at least, very cheaply. As a result of these various factors, politicians are—and I’d like to put this as kindly as possible—lying, ignorant bums.
You may have what you think are excellent reasons for advocating the expansion of the powers of the state. You may have the best of intentions in desiring to limit the often reprehensible behavior of individuals. But before you declare yourself an opponent to conservatism, I ask you to think about our nation’s political leaders. Would you hire any of them to cut your lawn? Dole does a tidy job, but he never gets far. He keeps wandering away to talk to the neighbors about cutting their lawn. Gore hasn’t gotten started yet. He’s talking to the cat about dandelions being an endangered species. Gingrich is using the Toro to carve out NEWT in big letters in the grass. And Clinton couldn’t make up his mind whether to do the front first or the back. Should he use a push mower or the power kind? Rotary or reel? Trim, then rake? Or the other way around? Maybe fertilize and reseed instead of mowing? So he gave up, and he’s inside raiding the refrigerator and flirting with your baby-sitter.
A conservative could have told you: If you want something done right, do it yourself.
P. J. O'Rourke, The Enemies List
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