“A walk? Erik, I’m exhausted,” I said, baffled by his ability to flip the switch on his hormones.
“Please, Tal. Let’s take a walk to the lake,” he sent. His eyes darted around the room, urging me to understand something – and I did. The reason that he’d wanted to talk on the ledge the other night was the same reason that he wanted to go to the lake now.
Toxic common areas and secure facilities like the Crypto Bank were constantly monitored by security cameras and audio devices. Operatives’ private apartments weren’t on a live feed, but were randomly screened for inappropriate or illegal activity. To my knowledge, the only inappropriate behavior that took place in the bedrooms was drinking and naked sleepovers. Though neither was against the rules, depending on the circumstances, they might be heavily frowned upon.
“You’re right. Fresh air would be good,” I finally agreed.
I wasn’t sure what Erik wanted to talk about, but I figured he must have a good reason to drag me across campus late at night.
Erik found a shirt and flip-flops, and led me from the warmth of his bed. When we reached the Hunters’ Village, I felt an immediate sense of longing. Memories flooded back as we passed the cabin where I’d lived with Erik and Henri for most of my time as a Pledge. Opening my mind, I felt a flurry of activity inside. It was late, past curfew, meaning all the Pledges were safely tucked into their homes.
“You okay?” Erik asked, squeezing my hand affectionately.
“Yeah, nostalgia and all that.” I rolled my eyes.
Erik gently tugged me toward the dark path that led to the lake. The only sound was the crunching of rocks and twigs under our feet as we wound our way through the woods. It wasn’t long before we reached the water. Erik selected a fallen log close to the lake’s edge. He sat, pulling me down beside him.
The lake was shimmering black glass under a cloudless sky. The moon hung ominously against the dark night, and the stars twinkled brightly above us. Cold air numbed me from the inside out. Erik seemed impervious to the temperature, but rubbed my back when he noticed me shivering. Under different circumstances, the moment would have been romantic. Long moments of silence stretched between us, Erik tracing the curve of my spine while I stared into the darkness.
“Start at the beginning and tell me everything that happened in Nevada,” he finally said.
I turned to meet his insistent turquoise eyes. We were sitting in the shadows of ancient trees and the moon provided little light, but my heightened sense of sight could make out every detail of his smooth features. There were small lines around his clenched jaw, and his eyes scrunched at the corners, scrutinizing my own face. His expression was both tense and concerned.
I heaved a huge sigh before launching into a detailed account of my mission, starting from when I jumped from the hover plane outside of Las Vegas. I told him about meeting Kyle, gaining his confidence, probing him for information, and using him to gain access to the house where Crane was staying. I retraced my journey through Crane’s compound – breaking into his office, downloading the information from his computer, the decision to invade the basement, and the odd resistance that I encountered at the door leading into the bowels of the building. I didn’t pause when I described being caught and waking up strapped to a bed, hesitating only when I recounted the conversation with Crane when he intimated that he’d known my father.
Throughout all of it, Erik traced small circles at the base of my skull with his thumb, soothing me as I spoke. His fingers went rigid against my skin when I described the bullet hitting my back, and I knew that he felt the pain as acutely as if the memory had been his own. The fingers gripping my neck tightened painfully, and anger radiated off of him. I ended my story at the point when I’d released Crane’s mind from the pain that I’d been projecting – my own pain. When I finished, my eyes remained on the pebble that I was kicking back and forth with the toe of my tennis shoe. Erik took deep, calming breaths to quiet his outrage. He wanted to kill the man who’d shot me, and it wasn’t just an idle thought; when I’d been injured on our very first Hunting Mission together, Erik hadn’t even hesitated before plunging a knife into the throat of the man who stabbed me.
“So Crane recognized you in the pub, you think?” he asked when his breathing was finally under control.
“I don’t think he recognized me. It was more like he felt me, like he knew that I was Talented,” I said, shuddering at the memory of our eyes briefly locked.
“But he knew your name when you woke up after being caught?”
“Yeah, he called me by it. He called me Talia.”
Erik sat looking pensive for several long minutes. He picked up a handful of pebbles with his free hand, skimming them across the lake’s surface. Tiny ripples appeared on the otherwise placid water as the stones bumped along before sinking to the bottom.
“Do you believe him about your father?” Erik finally asked.
“I don’t know. It was weird. His mind was blocked – it wasn’t until after I’d been shot that I broke down his defenses. Even then, I think that maybe he let me, like he wanted to take the pain away.”
I hugged myself. I hadn’t admitted that to anyone. The connection that I’d formed with Crane had been absolute, our minds woven together like a quilt. I’d been too focused on projecting to read his thoughts, but he would have had access to every memory of mine, every detail of my life. I hoped that the pain had been too intense for him to look.
“Did you see anything in his head, anything at all that could tell us who sold you out?” Erik asked, pulling me closer to him.
“No, but I didn’t look either. I just wanted to get out of there. I barely remember anything that happened between getting shot and waking up in the hospital. Mac told me most of what I just told you; he pieced it together from the extraction team’s reports.”
Erik grew quiet again. He leaned his head against mine and dulled my emotions. While I appreciated his efforts, I didn’t want to lose the anger and frustration that I’d been holding on to. I wanted to hate Crane for what he’d done to me; I wanted to hate him for killing my parents. It was the hatred that had gotten me through the years following their deaths, and it was what drove me still.
“You didn’t ask Penny about the encryption when you saw her?” The question was rhetorical; Erik already knew that I hadn’t, but I felt the need to answer anyway.
“She was agitated. I didn’t want to bring it up.”
Erik rubbed the space between his eyes with the heel of his palm, but didn’t comment.
“She would’ve told me if she knew, right?” I asked in a small voice. I needed his assurance to quash my own doubt.
“She’s your best friend, Tal. I’m sure that if she knew she would have told you,” he said. “She probably didn’t realize how simplistic the encryption was. She was just a Pledge, and pretty new at decrypting intel.” He was giving her the benefit of the doubt, but I could tell that he didn’t really believe she was so naïve.
“I’ve spent every day of the past few weeks with her, and we talked about the mission – I would have known if she wasn’t telling me something,” I replied confidently, trying to dispel our mutual skepticism.
“You’re right,” Erik agreed, turning to give me a small, genuine smile.
But it was Mac’s words I heard instead. “Sometimes, those closest to us are the best at deceiving us; you of all people should know that,” he said. He was talking about Donavon then, but maybe those sentiments applied to Penny now.
No, I thought firmly. She’d cried when she learned what happened to me in Nevada. She’d risked sanctions, and possibly even her appointment to the Crypto Division, when she’d broken protocol to help me prepare for my mission. Besides she was an orphan; there was no way she had any ties to the Coalition. The only time she ever left Headquarters was with me; I definitely would have known if she was having clandestine meetings with members of the Coalition when we went into the city. I hated myself for even doubting her, and I hated Donavon
for creating a mistrust in me that hadn’t been present before his infidelity.
“What about the other Cryptos?” I asked. “I know that they all had their reasons for not telling the truth earlier, but I was so caught up in the whole encryption nonsense that I didn’t really try to figure out if they had ties to the Coalition.”
“Could be,” he shrugged. “But cheating on your Placement Exams doesn’t exactly make you a criminal mastermind.”
“I don’t know,” I said slowly. “It seems like tricking the examiners into believing you’re Elite would be pretty hard.”
“Eh, it could be done. Depends how good the Mimic was that tested her,” he replied absently.
“Mimic?” I asked, surprised. I tried to recall my own Talent Ranking session. Mac, a Telepath, and a Manipulator had made up the panel that asked me questions and forced me to display my abilities. The Manipulator had been strong – I’d felt his strength just like I’d felt Cal’s. Looking back, that was a little odd; Mac had always told me that I was the only Toxic member with such strong powers of Manipulation.
“Yeah, all testing panels have a high-ranking Agency member, an Operative with the student’s same abilities, and a Mimic. Exceptional Talents, like you, are easy to feel – most people with any extra perception will pick up on it. Even non-Talented people can feel your power; they just don’t understand what they’re feeling. It’s harder, though, with your average Talent, which is why they use us. Mimics are best equipped to read a Talent’s strength,” he explained.
“I don’t remember a Mimic being on my panel,” I said, shaking my head.
“Do you remember a Manipulator being there?” he countered.
“Of course. Mac said that a person with my same abilities would sit in to gauge my strength relative to his.”
“I bet you that was a Mimic.”
“No way. I’d have known,” I declared. I would’ve ...right?
“Did you know what I was when we fought during your trials?” Erik asked, giving me a playful nudge. I smiled at the memory of our first encounter.
In addition to the Talent-ranking portion of my Placement Exam, I’d also had a physical trial. Erik had been one of the combatants that I’d faced, and I’d been sorely unprepared. All of the other fighters had been easy to defeat; I’d been able to control them through manipulation. Not Erik, though. The moment I tried to take over his mind, he’d thrown my abilities right back at me. The match had quickly turned ugly.
“Point taken,” I said. “I knew that you weren’t a Manipulator. I just didn’t know what you were.”
“If I’d been better at replicating your powers, you would’ve thought I was a Manipulator. I bet that the Mimic on your panel was better acquainted with Manipulation than I was.”
“I doubt that; you’re an Elite,” I pointed out.
Erik fidgeted uncomfortably, pulling at the drawstring of his pajama bottoms. He seemed almost embarrassed, and refused to meet my eyes.
“I’m not exactly an Elite, Tal. Mimics don’t have rankings,” he finally said.
“Are you serious?” I exclaimed. All Talents had rankings. At least, I’d thought they did. But Mimics were rare, and Erik was the only one that I knew personally.
“Yeah. If you’re a Mimic, you just ...are. Mimics are only as strong as the Talent they’re imitating, and even then it’s complicated,” he mumbled.
Ahh, so that’s why I felt the guy on my panel, I thought. I was actually feeling my own power when he mimicked me. How weird.
“Complicated seems to be the word of the day. Explain it to me,” I said.
“Like I said, Mimics are only as strong as the Talent they are mimicking. I can morph into any animal and even other humans when I’m around Henri because he can do all of that. When I’m with you, I can read people’s minds, control them just like you do.”
“I’ve noticed,” I quipped. Erik frequently read my thoughts now, and even controlled them on occasion.
He smiled, not ashamed at all.
“I only do it to you when you’re really upset,” he promised.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah - just get to the complicated part.” I gave him a scowl even though I wasn’t really upset. He did it because he cared.
“Well, I have to learn how to do those things. That’s why it took us so long in the beginning to form the three-way connection between you, me, and Henri. Remember?”
I did remember. At first, it had seemed like we would never pull it off. Henri had been so frustrated, I’d worried he regretted offering to take me on as part of his team.
“Higher Reasoning is the same way. I can mimic one, my brain will analyze the data and compute things really quickly and all that, but I don’t know what to do with the information once I have it. I doubt that I’d be able to gauge their strength since I don’t really understand how their abilities work.”
I’d always thought that being a Mimic would be cool, having the ability to possess so many different gifts. But after hearing Erik’s description, I wasn’t sure. It actually sounded like a lot of work. After spending years learning how to use my own gifts, I couldn’t imagine how much effort and dedication it took to learn everyone else’s, too.
“If Grace did well on her written exams - like if Rider had given her the answers and coached her through it - and the Mimic on her panel wasn’t well versed in how Higher Reasoning works, he might’ve just thought that his reading was off,” he continued.
“So when you’re around Penny, for instance, you can’t tell she’s an Elite?” I asked, oddly fascinated by the revelation.
“No, I can’t,” he admitted. “I’ve never tried to mimic her specifically, but I imagine that if I did, I’d be able to replicate her powers, just not implement them.”
“What about other Mimics?” I pressed. “What do you feel when you’re around them?”
“I feel nothing, unless they’re mimicking another Talent. If that’s the case, I feel the other Talent’s abilities. When they’re at rest, it’s kind of like being around a normal human ...but not,” he finished lamely.
“What do you mean?” My brain was on overload. I couldn’t process all of this. I should’ve brought Penny; her analytical abilities would’ve come in real handy right about now.
“Their Talent essence is still there. I can feel that there’s something that separates them from your average person, but it’s blank and undefined.”
“Weird,” I whispered.
“Yeah, thanks. I know, I’m a freak.” He laughed, pulling a lock of my hair to demonstrate how much he appreciated my commentary.
“That’s not what I meant! I just never knew any of this. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
Erik shrugged. “It never came up. And Toxic puts such an emphasis on rankings that I don’t like to tell people that I don’t have one. I am the only Hunter who isn’t Elite; it’s kind of embarrassing.”
I turned and stared directly into his eyes. He looked so vulnerable. It was almost troubling to see Erik this way; he was always so confident, so sure of himself. I leaned in and kissed him softly. The hand on my neck tangled in my hair as his lips parted. I loved the way he tasted and I scooted closer until I was practically on top of him, but Erik gently pushed me back with his free hand.
“Easy, Tals,” he whispered. I shrank away from him, humiliated by his admonishment. “Hey, it’s not like that,” he promised, cupping my chin and stroking my cheek with his thumb. “You’ve had a long day and it’s late. Why don’t we go to bed? If you get some sleep, maybe all of this stuff about codes and everything will make more sense in the morning.”
Erik stood and offered me his hand, which I took.
“Guest housing? Or my place?” he asked as he led me from the woods.
“Do you even have to ask?” I teased. Of course, I wanted to stay with him.
“My place it is.”
When I met his gaze, the intensity lit my skin on fire, and I had to look away. Erik laughed softly and squee
zed my hand. Sometimes I thought that making me squirm gave him a thrill.
When we got back to Erik’s room he found a pair of workout shorts and an old t-shirt for me to sleep in. In his bathroom, I found an extra toothbrush and set about getting ready for bed.
Erik was already in his bed with the covers folded back when I finished. I crossed the room to join him. Erik covered me with the blankets before drawing my head against his chest. He folded one hand behind his head and slid the other around my waist. I turned my face up, expecting him to kiss me, but his eyes were already closed and he didn’t bring his lips to meet mine. I kissed the side of his neck and began working my way to his mouth.
“Tals, don’t,” he mumbled, his pulse quickening.
“Why?” I demanded. I could tell that he wanted me. Why was he being like this?
“Exactly, but you’re too vulnerable,” Erik said, reading the thoughts straight from my head. “Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
Vulnerable? He thought I was vulnerable?
Erik sighed audibly. “Tal,” he began, “I just meant that you’ve been through a lot today and you’re exhausted and on edge. I can feel all of that. I can feel how badly you need to sleep. I don’t want you to have another seizure on my account.”
“Stay out of my head,” I mumbled.
“I’m not in your head. You’re projecting.” I didn’t doubt that he was right; my thoughts were bouncing around my skull, fighting for freedom from their cranial prison.
I turned away from him and scooted to the edge of the bed. Erik let me go and didn’t even react when I purposefully removed his hand from my waist. He let me stew, lost in my thoughts. I let the events of the day overtake my bruised ego.
All of the information that I’d learned raced through my mind on separate tracks, like sprinters in their own lanes, all aiming for the same finish line but never crossing paths. The facts seemed like pieces of different puzzles – the lying Operatives, the simplistic encryption, Ian Crane knowing my name, the fact that Mimics didn’t have rankings. There had to be a common denominator - I just needed to find it.