I pulled my hand free to dab my nose and eyes with the handkerchief. Imagining how horrible I looked, I glanced at my mother only to see her and Maria looking tearful, too. The sight made me smile as I turned back to Wes, cursing him for not caring about how I would react to something so intense in front of everyone.
The minister prompted us to exchange rings and then pronounced us married. He didn’t get as far as telling Wes to kiss me, because Wes’ hands were already on the sides of my face, pulling me in. His mouth assaulted mine in the softest, most pressing manner, spreading warmth down my shoulders. My hands reached around his back as we kissed at the edge of a beautiful cliff with my worries blowing in the wind.
Neither one of us pulled away until our friends and family clapped so loudly we could no longer ignore their presence. I was the first to laugh with joy as I hopped up in excitement and he picked me up and hugged me so hard it felt like we were one person. I felt his joy, his fears, his pain, his love, and his hope for whatever the future had in store for us.
There wasn’t one dry eye in the audience. After the ceremony, I was able to notice everyone who was there. In addition to my family and friends, Dr. Lyon and Dr. Carter were present. Everyone greeted us with hugs and whispers in our ears, saying, “That was beautiful, that was perfect, you two are wonderful together.”
My mom hurried some pictures along—she and I, then with Wes, too—then she pulled me close to say how proud she was of me. Then she shoved the other guests in line to take pictures with us. The first in line was Maria. Kerry stepped up to help her walk. Her hands were frail and hesitant to touch me, but I knew what this moment meant to her and how difficult it must be to see me. Even though it was a reassurance that Lenny wasn’t gone forever, we couldn’t change the fact that I wasn’t truly her Lenny. I felt for her and didn’t want her feeling unsure about her presence, so I wrapped my arm around her small, petite frame and pulled her close.
Her free hand brought a tissue up to her eyes and then she gave my hip a gentle shake with the hand that was wrapped around me. The volunteer photographer, who happened to be Kerry’s boyfriend, Rich, requested our attention and gave us orders to smile. After a few pictures, Wes discreetly stepped away and let us get a couple pictures with just the two of us.
By the time Wes and I were finished, my mother was gone.
Where she had disappeared to was a mystery, but I was too overwhelmed with the presence of my father and Maria to give it any more thought. After a few more kind exchanges with my friends and father, Wes and I walked Maria to one of Wes’ waiting SUVs.
Maria was helped into the vehicle that would drive her back to her nursing home and although she looked happy, it seemed like she had many questions or wanted to say something else. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I didn’t want her leaving with any doubt about what this day meant for me.
To give her hope and comfort, I leaned into the open truck and gave her a hug. I spoke softly in her ear, so only she could hear. “I remember the night of Lenny’s accident. You tried to stop our fight and he shoved you to the floor. I remember how much you loved me, and I want you to know no one could have stopped what happened. And it’s okay, because I’m here now.” I kissed her cheek as she sobbed softly.
We watched her drive off and then said our goodbyes to everyone else, except for my mother, who still seemed to be missing. Inside our limo, Wes pulled me onto his lap with one arm wrapped around me and the other hand tucked under my bottom, securing me to himself.
He slipped his hand there so naturally that one would’ve thought he did it all the time, but he didn’t. Usually his hands only found their way across my body when we were making out, but now we were just sitting there and the comfort between us felt good and natural.
I leaned my head into his and absorbed his sweet scent. He held me tighter, and even in our perfect post-wed moment, he managed to tell me he missed me. There we were, pretty much bound to each other for however long forever would be, and the feelings we felt from being separated the night before were still lingering.
“I missed you, too,” I whispered, feeling like the day simply couldn’t have been any more perfect.
Chapter 28
THE FIRST TIME
Had I known how special it was going to feel to have my family, friends, and Lenny’s mother there, I might have chosen to have a small reception. But at the time my thoughts had been to keep it simple and just go home with Wes. My mom understood, so she relented.
Along with no reception, Wes and I had agreed that we’d rather stay home for a while. We briefly thought about taking a short drive to an inn or resort, but decided against it. All we wanted to do was go back to his place and call it ours.
A few days before the wedding, Dr. Carter had moved into Dr. Thomas’ old residence, so when we got home the place was one hundred percent ours. Waiting for us.
I’d pulled into his driveway many times, but never like it was my own. The feeling was indescribable. Wes took my hand and led me up the front steps. Just before the threshold, he did the inevitable, picking me up and carrying me inside. The way he held me made me want to stay there all night, but to my disappointment, he spun me toward the living room, kissed my cheek, and set me down. The aroma of food struck me first, but then what I saw took my breath away.
Dozens of white rose petals led away from the foyer. “Go on,” he said.
I turned, tempted to ask questions, but knew to comply. My feet willed themselves through the hall, which was lined on both sides with vases of white, pink, and red roses. It was Valentine’s Day in September.
I stood awestruck by the romantic touch and then the delicious scent pulled my attention toward the dining room. I turned and looked at Wes, no longer wanting any more surprises. “Did you order food?” I asked.
He smiled and shrugged. “Let’s just say your mom wanted you to have a reception. Even if it was a private one.”
My eyes opened wide. “What?” Before he could answer, I made a beeline for the dining room where a candlelit table, set with fine dining for two, awaited. One metal food warmer and a small, round, three-tiered wedding cake with a border of white roses had been placed in the center.
“My mother did this?”
“She did.”
“Wow.”
I stood with my mouth pretty much hanging open and Wes pulled my chair back, prompting me to sit.
In zombie mode, I watched Wes take off his suit jacket, revealing a fitted vest and tie tailored to his physique, perfectly. He looked unbelievably sexy. He filled our plates with shrimp and angel hair pasta in a white wine sauce. And there we sat, the two of us, enjoying an intimate dinner. We talked about how his morning had gone, as well as mine. I left out the part about Dawn’s trip to the mall and as I thought about that, it became apparent that our whole conversation was very platonic.
It felt like a first date, except that both of us were aware of what this night meant. We would either share our first time, or not, because of Wes’ clarity, and either way, I was sure Wes was the more nervous of the two of us.
It was ironic how thinking of him being nervous always gave me more confidence. Maybe it was a desire to make things easier for him. Whatever the reason, I felt like I could do this. Like I wanted to do this. Ready to push the evening along, I slid my plate to the side, half-eaten.
“Are you ready for cake?” I asked.
He dropped his fork willingly. “Sure.”
“What kind is it?”
“Don’t know,” he answered, watching me curiously.
“Hmm . . . well let’s find out.” I grabbed the knife and cut a piece. Red velvet with white icing. Yum. I stood up and cut two pieces. “Come on, get up,” I ordered, eagerly.
Wes stood and came around to my side, taking the plate. “I’m sure my mom went to all this trouble so we could have the complete experience, so let’s do it.”
He opened his mouth at my command, and I gently fed him a mouthful. He swallowed and then
laughed.
“I can already see you’re going to be a bad influence on me with sweets.”
“Shut up,” I joked, shoving him in his stomach. “Now it’s my turn.”
He took the other piece and I opened my mouth, impatiently waiting for the rush of sugar, but all I felt was the assault of cake and icing smearing on my face. I turned away and screamed, feeling only a tiny taste of icing on my lips.
“I can’t believe you just did that!”
He shrugged innocently and backed up before I could retaliate. “Your mom made me swear to get you. It’s her fault!”
“What? You listened to her?”
He grabbed a napkin and tossed it at me, and then ran around to the other side of the table. “What? I told you I wanted her to like me!”
“Ugh!” I groaned wiping my face off. At least he didn’t get it in my hair, but I was still mad. How dare he? We stood for a few moments while he waited for further reaction from me.
I crossed my arms and stared at him.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
I groaned again. “You watch too much TV. Flattery won’t work.”
“I don’t watch any TV,” he pleaded. I just stood there. “I’m sorry,” he offered sincerely.
“Fine,” I said. Then my gaze turned out the window over his shoulder. “What is that?” I asked, intrigued. A look of confusion crossed his face as he questioned what I could possibly be looking at across a twenty-mile stretch of mountains, but he still fell for it.
With his head turned for only a second, I picked up the top tier of the cake and tossed it over the table at him, just as he was turning back. It hit his chest and the lower right side of his face and mouth.
Oh, my gosh. I couldn’t believe I just did that. My hands immediately flew up to my mouth. “I’m sorry,” I said.
He looked down and felt the cake on his face and then looked at me. After a minute of thick silence he said, “Your mom didn’t tell me about that part.”
Even though I was horrified at my actions, I couldn’t help but laugh, and after a second he did, too.
“At least it was the small tier,” he said. His light reaction caused me to hurry around the table and help clean him off. “It’s fine.”
Seeing him react this way made me remember having covered him with funnel cake powder by accident on our first date.
Thinking of how easygoing he’d been made me feel all the more lucky to be with him. I remembered that day like it was only yesterday. We had just met, and thoughts of tasting the sugar crossed my mind, but at the time, those thoughts needed to be contained. I simply wouldn’t have had the nerve to do it then, but I did now.
I stepped closer to him and slowly licked a trail of icing off of his mouth. “What are you doing?” he asked, naively.
“I didn’t get to taste the cake before. You missed, remember?”
Between the kisses and small licks, it was tasty. I moved my mouth to his and pressed myself closer. He kissed me back, but kept his hands at his sides.
“You’re going to ruin your dress,” he whispered between kisses. I briefly thought about it but didn’t care. It was just a dress and besides, I was taking Kerry’s advice and absorbing how Wes made me feel when we were together. It felt good, and I wanted more.
“Not if you take it off,” I said finding his mouth again. In the same motion that his tongue found mine, he lifted my dress and picked me up, so that my legs were around his waist. Not missing a beat, he started walking toward the stairs. I knew where we were headed, and it was making me nervous again. But even though I was pressed up against him, it wasn’t close enough.
Once inside the bedroom, he set me down and backed me against the wall. Still kissing me, he took off his vest and unbuttoned his shirt. Following his lead, I began unzipping the side of my dress. The sight of his bare, perfect chest caused me to pause to build up the nerve to let my dress fall, but after a moment, I didn’t falter. I let it slip down my body, revealing my newly acquired lingerie.
Wes looked at my chest for a moment, closed his eyes, and started kissing me again. First my mouth, then moving to my neck. Feeling his bare chest against mine was making me shudder. I was ready to be with Wes mind, soul, and body.
He continued to unbutton his trousers, and I sighed with passion as they dropped to the floor.
I had no clue what he was wearing under them, because he scooped me up so fast, kicked his shoes off and carried me over to the bed. In that moment, all I wanted was all of him.
“How do you feel?” he murmured pulling back to watch my reaction.
“Like I want you, right now,” I whispered pulling him back into a deep kiss. I found his tongue and he lifted my back and reached around to unclasp my bra. Once I felt it slide away, I slipped into some sort of blissful trance and I don’t remember how the rest of our remaining garments came off. All I remember is Wes kissing me in places that had never been kissed. Until he paused.
I opened my eyes and saw him only inches from me with a hard expression on his face.
“Hey,” I whispered. “You okay?” I put my palm against his face and he felt flushed. Warmer than I had ever felt him.
“I’m all right,” he whispered, still with his eyes closed. “Give me just a second.”
I knew he was concentrating hard, trying not to lose focus and, more important to him, not to lose time with me.
“Open your eyes,” I murmured, reaching up to kiss right below each of them.
“No, I’m all right,” he repeated.
“Open your eyes,” I urged, taking a stronger hold of his face. After a few seconds, he slowly revealed to me the deep brown eyes of a worried lover. “It’s okay,” I promised.
“I know,” he replied, looking at me. “I just don’t want to lose a single minute with you.”
I smiled. “You won’t. Just stay with me.” I kissed him once and pulled back to find his hesitant gaze again. “Just look at me,” I whispered.
He watched me for a moment and his face slowly relaxed.
“I love you,” he said.
“I know,” I said kissing him again, and just when I felt the nerves in our bodies relax completely, he gently brought us together completing our bond. There wasn’t a moment more full of every possible emotion than right then.
So many feelings were shooting through me at once that I couldn’t stop myself from crying, silently. When he felt the wetness on his cheek, he paused. “I’m okay,” I urged, hugging him tighter.
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
“I’m sure. I’m just overwhelmed with feelings for you right now.” He gently wiped away the tears and found my mouth again.
We kissed and found a new, intense rhythm between us that felt like pure heaven.
“This is beyond what I imagined,” he whispered moving his lips away from mine, only to move them to my neck and down my chest. I wanted to respond, but couldn’t find the breath, because his rhythm picked up causing a release of electricity as I felt my body shudder along with his.
Oh. My. God. Just when I felt like jello, he wrapped his arms beneath me again and squeezed me to him like he wanted me to stay. Don’t worry, I wanted to tell him. I’m never leaving you. Not yesterday, and especially not after today.
That night, I fell asleep curled up against the inside of his arm, where I imagined I’d be every night for the rest of my days. He kissed my forehead, and whispered the one thing we were avoiding, but also the one thing he didn’t want to ignore.
“Happy Birthday.”
Chapter 29
TOMORROW
I woke up lying in my new bed, unclothed and alone. Wes had left the bedroom door open, allowing the smell of cinnamon to greet me. A contented smile seeped its way into my soul. It couldn’t have felt more perfect.
Lying next to me on his pillow was a small koala bear. I touched it, realizing it was the prize I had won at a carnival on our first date. It was adorable but so tiny and I remember feeling like
I’d wasted my time and Wes’ money playing a zillion times just to win it. My disappointment had prompted Wes to win a big one for me.
I picked the bear up and saw a small card resting beneath it.
“What is this?” I said out loud.
Curious, I took the card and opened it to the sight of Wes’ perfect handwriting:
This was worth every penny.
Love, your husband
A flood of blissful energy jolted me out of bed. I quickly brushed my teeth and threw on a tank top and shorts. I took a quick look in the mirror and decided to run my fingers through my hair. I contemplated a little makeup, but after a closer look in the mirror, decided against it.
Wes had always made me feel beautiful the way I was, and I wasn’t going to start changing now. Then, just as I went to turn away, a tiny trickle of moisture dropped onto my lip. Instinct caused me to wipe it, but when I pulled my hand back, it was smeared with red. Confusion washed over me for a second until I realized I had a nosebleed.
I quickly tilted my head back and found a tissue, thinking how strange it was. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had one, but I didn’t panic. I held my head back and pressed the tissues to my nose. After a few minutes, the tissues were coming away clean and I felt relieved that it wasn’t something Wes would be greeted with on the first morning of our life together. That wouldn’t have been attractive.
Glad it was over, I flushed the tissues and glanced back into the mirror. There was no sign of the mishap, and choosing to ignore the strange occurrence, I convinced myself that it was just a small interruption in my morning. So small I erased all traces of it from my mind.
Before heading downstairs, I wanted to redirect my attention to the amazing feelings experienced the day before, so I pulled my journal from my bag. Every detail about yesterday was so important that I wanted to take the time to put the memories on paper before I forgot a single detail.