The reason there were people who succeeded was because there were many people who came before them that paved the way to their success. Perhaps it was Hildir’s fate to just be another one of those bodies, but he had fought so hard to that end. He had, together with the Diva company, given merchants like Lawrence a glimpse of that possible future, albeit for a brief instant.
Such an exciting glimpse was hardly enough, and yet that was all the greed of the barons had permitted them. Many people took it upon themselves to challenge the power structure, and they all inevitably lost. Lawrence had no way to help him now, since only the living could dream. And yet, he had to find a way.
The truth was that a life of nothing but big accomplishments wasn’t really a life worth living. Lawrence lifted Hildir up and returned to the corridor, took the letters, and packed them away. He then walked on and on until he finally met Myuri, all the while carrying Hildir’s small, corpse-like body.
Chapter 8
“Not even the wiliest merchant could do anything in this situation.”
Myuri lifted Hildir up, now that his wounds were treated. He hadn’t mentioned Hildir to his men, so they all marvelled at being ordered to treat a rabbit. But ointment and bandages couldn’t rouse him from his near-death sleep. Mercenaries were always harsh with their humor, and the men now joked that they had only been preparing their dinner.
They were in a meadow not far from Lesco, with no cloud cover to rob them of the starlight. It was freezing, however; some of the men had wrapped themselves in blankets, and others had started a fire in a clearing of the meadow. They eyed Lawrence from afar, but none had yet asked why such an ill-suited person had brought his wagon where it didn’t belong.. though they would be expecting an answer sooner rather than later.
“It’s a long way to go, but wisdom dictates that we head south.”
Lawrence pointed at the map that Moid had spread out in front of them.
“Lenos? But Diva won’t hesitate to draw first blood, and no matter how strong we are we’re just sitting ducks in fields like these.”
“True, but going north would brand us as traitors, and so going south will give them less of an incentive to focus a large-scale attack on us.”
Diva company would indeed need a good reason to send a larger force out to pursue them.
“Quite.. and Ms. Holo will find it easier to rendezvous with us this way.”
“Precisely. There are no significant villages or towns on the way, so we can just calmly head along the stream to Tolchin. If we make it that far, we should be alright; not even Diva has the numbers to pit themselves against Lenos.”
Ploania was also just south of Lenos, so fighting there would incite the King and the Ploanian nobility. Diva could hardly take such a risk.
“What say you, Mr. Lawrence?”
Not even in his wildest dreams had Lawrence envisioned himself talking strategies with the heads of such a storied band of mercenaries. All of his dream-dealings with mercenaries ended up with him being robbed and coolly asked how he wanted to die.
“No complaints.”
“Alright then.. that’s that.”
Myuri stood and hopped off of Lawrence’s wagon, then strode toward his men briskly. They all banded around him like children around a jester performing in a market square. But when Myuri flipped his coat and gestured to them, he didn’t follow it up with a wordy performance. He cut to the chase, and gave them no room for interpretation.
They would carry on all night, stopping only long enough to fill their bellies. His men were ordered to prepare their meal, and Lawrence saw a sight he didn’t expect: grown men celebrating like children being ordered to do something brave and important. Moid skillfully rolled up his map before asking Lawrence a question.
“And what about you, Mr. Lawrence?”
“Hmm?”
At first Lawrence suspected he was being asked to join them for supper, but Moid continued on while nuzzling the chin of the horse drawing the wagon.
“I’ll have one of the men lead your horse, if you’d like. It’ll be tough to see your way around this terrain even in this light.”
The overt implication was that Lawrence was just a merchant, and so he should save his stamina by riding on the wagon. And yet there was no way he could bring himself to do that in front of the mercenaries. It wasn’t out of fear, but simple respect.
“No, I’m walking too, so I’ll lead him. I mean..”
Lawrence paused briefly.
“..I can’t just sit on my ass while Holo’s out there running her heart out.”
Moid immediately smacked himself in the face.
“Ah, jeez.. Sorry, that was a dumb thing to say.”
Moid really was an honorable guy. Lawrence’s opinion of mercenaries would change if more of them were like him.
“You’re sure you’ll be alright?”
Moid ran his hand through the horse’s mane before tying his map and handing to another man outside the wagon. Lawrence was surprised by how crowded it was inside the wagon with Moid there; it was always comfortable when it was just him and Holo.
“Looks like all that effort’s gone to waste. I mean about the banned book.”
“..Yeah.”
Lawrence glanced over at Hildir, who was still asleep in his cage.
“He should have realized it was time for a strategic retreat, but when you run such a big company you tend to forget that you’re just one person.. if the others mutiny, you’re basically doomed.”
“True, true, better to live and fight another day.”
“Though maybe that’s just me being naive.”
Supper was already being served, and everyone was drinking merrily. Moid asked for a bottle of wine and opened it in the wagon.
“Nah, I think you’ve got the right idea, though life would be boring if everyone thought that way.”
Those who lived on the battlefield were proud, and the thoughts of someone like Lawrence were just the thoughts of a small-minded and naive merchant. It was interesting to hear Moid agree with him, though that might just be because it wasn’t really something one could call intrinsically wrong. Myuri, on the other hand, returned with another opinion.
“That’s not what you said to me, Moid.”
“Sir..”
“Don’t you call me ‘sir.’ You’re the one always asking me to face reality and now look at you, all drunk on the prospect of war.”
Moid frowned at Myrui’s chiding and scratched his head. Myrui happily hopped back into the wagon.
“Still, I agree with Mr. Lawrence. I don’t like Diva company, neither the conservatives nor radicals.”
Had Hildir and Diva heralded a new era, Myuri and his men would be bygones of an older time. In a sense, Myuri probably saw them as a nemesis.
“I mean what’s the point? Why help a company dreaming to become a fake dragon? I mean, there is profit in it, but..”
Myuri stopped to sip some wine, and just then their suppers arrived. It was a simple meal, bread and sausages, but on such a cold night it was as good as gold.
“Well, in the end you’ll have nothing but money, and that’ll be gone soon enough after you buy some wine and happiness.”
Myuri wolfed down his bread in a few short bites, almost like he was proving his point. Those who worked only for food would only be left hungry after they ate it.
“What say you, Mr. Lawrence? You’re the merchant here.. care to share?”
Lawrence was gnawing on a sausage, but had to turn away. It wasn’t just the grease scalding him, though, Myuri’s question was just as hot.
“I met someone in Lenos whose thirst for money amazed even me.”
“Oh?”
Both Myuri and Moid were eyeing him with interest now.
“That person cares nothing about other’s lives, only money. Even their own life means nothing in the face of money, and when I confronted them over it we ended up drawing knives in a storeroom..”
His audience
’s eyes opened wide, and grinned like little boys.
“What’s the point of having so much money? It’s like drinking brine to quench your thirst. That’s how I see it.”
He didn’t want to remember the look on Eve’s face at that time, but he could never forget her tone. Clear, powerful, but also embarrassed. When he’d asked her what she thought lay at the end of that path, this was her reply: “I expect someone will be standing there to tell me something.”
“All about expectation..”
Moid lowered his head as Myuri repeated himself.
“Expectation..”
After repeating himself one last time, Myuri looked away like he was staring at a bird high overhead carrying the answer to this riddle in its beak. When he finally turned back to Lawrence, he was smiling.
“Hey Moid, you think that person would join us if we invited him?”
“Nah. Sounds like a hell of a fighter, but not someone I’d want to pin my hopes on. Someone like that’ll cooperate for profits just as easily as they’ll betray you. There’s no shortage of people who live by that expectation.”
Hearing that, Lawrence wouldn’t be surprised if Moid knew Eve already. Myuri raised an eyebrow and turned his eyes back on Lawrence. All Lawrence could do was nod and sigh.
“Then you were betrayed too, Mr. Lawrence?”
“Not only was Holo mortgaged, but my own life became a bet.”
Myuri whistled, but Moid just quietly ate the rest of his bread.
“Damn, merchants are horrible. They might not look the part, but they’re even worse than we are.”
His eyes had since turned to Hildir.
“Swords can only get so long, but merchants can keep making as much money as they want. They might’ve failed this time, but I wonder how long before the whole world’s being run by them?”
Myuri spoke while running his finger along the length of his sword, like a bloodthirsty king wanting to kill his opponent before they could grow up and overtake him.
“Well, maybe one day. But it’s still too soon for that, so I guess we’ll have to keep fighting.”
It was obvious he tired of the conversation now, but he still narrowed his eyes like a child who had already been warned to not kill innocent creatures.
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the riots in the north, though.”
He finally lowered his sword before continuing.
“Please lend me your thoughts. I can’t think of anyone who could stand up to Diva now. I’ve also heard about the rebellious people in Sovereign, but they hardly seem capable.”
That was exactly where Lawrence had been asked to deliver his letters, and now the mercenary before him was denouncing them. It really didn’t make any sense to deliver a letter when all it would do was place him in danger. He wished that line of rationalization could comfort him, because he could really use the pick-me-up.
“And what of Ms. Holo? Will she try to stop this war?”
Holo had already made her choice, and wouldn’t do anything more than follow the lead of a certain sheepish art dealer named Hugh. She would clear her mind of all of it. Seeing Lawrence shake his head made Myuri stare at the ground and nod sadly.
“It was a painful choice for her to make, but she did. She really is remarkable.”
“We’d best not tarnish our own good flag either.”
“Agreed. All we can do now is change our approach and keep a vigilant eye.”
His intentional evasion of the word “retreat” seemed to satisfy Myuri.
“You know, it’s been a long time since we’ve moved at night. It’s quite nice, especially with a clear sky like this.”
Myuri stared at the sky and shielded his eyes. There was no sun, of course, but without clouds, the stars shone brightly enough for the gesture to seem less silly.
“Yeah, I mean snow’s still bearable, but what if it rained..”
Snow could be dealt with, and thicker clouds meant it would be warmer out.
“I don’t care either way. I just meant that a clear sky lets us watch the sun rise.”
“The sunrise?”
“Definitely. Seeing that after trudging the whole night really helps you look forward to the future again, especially in desperate circumstances like these. We always manage to do our best thinking then, so it’s my favorite sight in the morning.”
He proclaimed that with pride and Moid laughed bitterly.
“The scent of blood, sweat and death are all around you. You swat at the flies, but they’re always there, just like the blood on your hands. But then, for one perfect moment, the sun breaks over the horizon and purifies everything..”
Myuri shut his eyes.
“It reminds me why I’ll never quit this job.”
One would feel that way if all they ever knew was war. Things like guilt could be washed away, they really could, at least for a soldier like Myuri. But Lawrence was a merchant - he hoped to fight so that actual fighting didn’t have to happen.
“Shame that we probably won’t get to witness that splendor this morning.”
They had left after Diva started the fight, and yet they weren’t being pursued yet. Myuri had stated the reasons why they wouldn’t, including Lenos and Holo, but there was also Hildir. After Hildir arrived in Lenos and calmed himself, he might be able to put things into perspective. Until then, all they could do was plan their next move.
Taking Holo to Yoitsu would be nice, but if she let him then Lawrence would rather make sure his business was secure. His life had taken so many turns lately, and before spring arrived he wanted to make all the stops he had to make on his trade route. Not to mention all of the other baggage he had to deal with to begin a new life with Holo.
“Alright.. our bellies are full, so let’s get going.”
With Myuri’s command, Moid slowly stood up.
* * *
It felt more surreal to Lawrence to be traveling with mercenaries at night than if he’d been walking with a ghost. It made him want to laugh at how bizarre the situation was, especially with one of the most important employees of the largest mining firm in history on his wagon. And that wasn’t even considering that said employee was a rabbit who was hurt when he tried to bring peace to the north.
It all seemed so coincidental that he might as well have been dreaming. And yet, such coincidences did happen in a world where the connections between people meant more than the efforts of any one person. As Myuri put it, “not even the wiliest merchant could do anything in this situation.” Not even the most accomplished individual with the luck of the gods could turn rocks into gold.
Because of that understanding, Holo had opted to not try solving everything with her fangs. Her power had its limits. Even Hildir could be taken down with mere swords, losing his status as a top executive in a company and nearly meeting a pathetic end at the hands of drunken fools. Even he looked as frail as a normal rabbit, sleeping in his cage.
It was all enough to make a human being see just how small they were in the grand scheme of things.
“Hey, you didn’t leave anything behind, did you?”
Myuri’s casual question made Lawrence peer back behind them in the direction of Lesco. He had come within a stone’s throw of starting his dream shop there; he had even made the necessary down payment. And now it was behind him. He had a new direction to take. As a traveler he was used to such fleeting visits, even to the most familiar of villages.
All of these events in Lesco would become little more than a joke to him, something to laugh about with Holo. With that in mind, he looked up to reply to Myuri, telling him that their lives were too short to worry about the bridge they had just crossed, but he stopped. Not because he was unsure of himself, but because Myuri’s face was full of surprise. He didn’t even have time to wonder why before he heard a hoarse voice painfully speaking behind him.
“Left.. behind..”
“Hildir!”
Lawrence spun around to see what Myuri w
as looking at, just in time to see the wounded rabbit do his best to lift his head.
“Something.. was left behind..”
He seemed almost delirious from his injuries. He was barely conscious, and couldn’t even lift his eyelids, but still used all of his strength to talk. He still hadn’t accomplished his mission in Lesco. Myuri walked up to him.
“Hey, rabbit.”
He pointed at the injured creature.
“You’re injured, so use your head. We’re heading south. If you wanna survive, then keep quiet and stay in your cage, huh?”
It seemed rather childish for Myuri to be declaring such things to a rabbit, but Lawrence knew better. Mercenaries moved as a single body, so if their brain wasn’t coordinated with their limbs they would fall into chaos.
“Got it?”
Myuri flicked Hildir’s chin to make his point. Like a resisting slave, Hildir turned his face away and then closed the one eye he had been straining to keep open, as though he had fainted. With a hum, Myuri continued.
“Well, that’s all I can say. Gotta admire that stubborn merchant pride.”
Even a veteran of life like Moid was surprised to see an animal speaking. Still, he was a principled mercenary. His type would applaud just about anything, even a rabbit. With his rough hands he covered the rabbit in a blanket as Myuri rose to his feet. And yet, before Myuri could issue any orders they heard another response.
“I left..”
Myuri turned back.
“..a letter behind..”
Myuri was stunned.
“What do you mean, ‘a letter?”’
His wide eyes were looking down on Hildir like they would smite him.
“Hey, are you messing with me?”
Myuri pushed Moid out of the way and yanked Hildir out of the cage.
“Hey, answer me!”
He shook the creature like he was a drunk to be stirred back to consciousness. Moid nervously stopped him, but Hildir didn’t respond. He just left them to stew at his little mystery. After Myuri set him down, he crawled his way back into the cage. Lawrence wouldn’t be surprised if he was smiling all the while.