I have time. I have plenty of time because I’ll be damned if Adalyn isn’t mine.
I fucking love her. I loved her before I knew about the baby, and I love her more now that she’s carrying my child.
I knew the minute she caught me snooping in Racer’s house she would change my life, and she did. There is no turning back because life without Adalyn is a life I don’t want to live.
Standing outside her apartment, I take a deep breath and give the door a knock. I quickly adjust the baseball cap on my head and make sure my shirt is righted just in time for the door to open.
With a big smile, I look up to a very familiar set of eyes.
Just as quickly as I plastered the smile on my face, it is quickly washed away.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Gripping the edge of the door, a shit-eating grin on his face, Logan chuckles to himself. “Good to see you too, Hayden. Glad to see you have your anger under control.”
Stepping in closer, I ask again, “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, did Adalyn not tell you?” He shakes his head. “Must have slipped her mind. Pregnancy brain and all.” Thumbing to the apartment behind him, he says, “I live here with Adalyn. I moved here as well, wanting to make sure she had someone to rely on, someone to take care of her.”
Never have I felt such boiling rage take over every vein, muscle, and bone in my body. Searing white-hot anger rips through me and the urge to swiftly punch Logan in the face is so goddamn real I have to take a step back in fear of what I might do.
“Who is it?” Adalyn asks, coming up behind Logan. When she sees me, her eyes widen and her mouth parts open. “Oh, Hayden. You’re back from your road trip.”
Grinding my teeth together, I speak through my anger. “Adalyn, a moment. Alone.”
Stepping past Logan, she nods and directs me toward the courtyard. Staring Logan down for longer than I should, I follow Adalyn down the back steps and into the courtyard. Behind my tumultuous rage, I can appreciate the bags under Adalyn’s eyes have become softer and she’s looking like she has some color in her face.
Sitting on a bench, she curls her legs close to her body and wraps her long cardigan around her knees, bringing them close to her chest.
Not even bothering with the flowers anymore, I set them in front of her and take a seat, one of my arms spanning across the length of the bench, the other dragging my hand over my face. “What the fuck, Adalyn? You didn’t tell me douche nugget was moving out here.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Easy.” I give her my attention. “You pick up the damn phone when I call you and you tell me.”
“You already hate him, I didn’t—”
“You’re damn right I hate him. I mean . . . fuck,” I press my fingers into my brow, squeezing my eyes shut, “Are you seeing him?”
“Like as in dating?”
“Yeah, are you two dating?”
Fiddling with her cardigan, she doesn’t answer me right away, making my heart stammer in my chest and my skin prickle with pure hatred.
“No,” she finally answers.
“Why did it take you so long to answer?”
Turning her head toward the fountain in the middle of the courtyard, she says, “This is none of your business, Hayden. I moved out here for you. If I bring someone with me, that’s my choice, not yours.”
“This is my business when that douche is sharing an apartment with my girl.” The word slips past my lips before I stop it. Adalyn tilts her head in my direction, a slight shake to it.
“I’m not your girl.”
Well I’m fucking aware of that now.
“But you’re his?” She doesn’t answer, sending me into a heated frenzy. “So basically you’re going to give that shithead a second chance when he treated you with nothing but disrespect after he slept with you, but you’re not looking at me twice when I had no choice in our breaking up, when I wanted nothing more than to try to continue seeing you.” I stand now, pacing back and forth, my mind whirling. “Fuck, Adalyn, do you realize what this is doing to me? That kind of pain you’re putting me through? Why him? Why not me?”
“Because . . .” Her lips quiver, her inability to look me in the eye driving me insane. “You make me hurt too much.”
Halting my pacing, I drop my hand from the back of my neck. “What?”
“He’s easy, Hayden. He’s mindless. He doesn’t make me ache like you do. I’ve had a bad enough pregnancy, I don’t want to make it any harder on myself.”
“So you’re going to fuck a guy I hate with every bone in my body and play house with him, with my baby, because he’s easy? Are you hearing what you’re saying?”
“We’re not fucking as you so eloquently stated.”
“Does he kiss you?” I hold my breath, waiting for her answer. I want those lips for me and me alone. Luscious and plump, so addicting I could spend hours pressing my mouth against hers. I don’t think I can stand knowing Logan gets that privilege, gets to taste her, touch her . . .
“We’re friends, Hayden.”
“But he wants more.” It’s not a question; it’s a statement. I’m not an idiot, I know when a guy is infatuated, when he’s fucking lost over a girl because that dumb-as-shit look Logan gives Adalyn is the same damn look I have on my face.
“I have a feeling he does.” She presses her chin on her knees, staring down at the bench.
Scratching the heavy scruff on my jaw, I decide to try to calm myself, tamping down my anger because that’s not going to get me anywhere. Instead, I go for a more gentle approach. Sitting down next to her, I rub my thumb over her cheek, drawing her attention.
“Adalyn, do you hear what you’re saying? You are aware he has feelings for you. Why would you do this to him? Aren’t you playing him? Using him?”
“No, I’m not. He’s only a—”
“Not in his eyes. And I don’t believe that you, someone so kindhearted, so giving and selfless normally, would do that.”
She looks away, and I can see she’s trying to deny what I’m saying is true. If she wasn’t confused, weakened by the weeks of being sick, I’d run now, because I don’t want someone so thoughtless handling my heart either. I know it’s not the real her, though. Unless I have read her very badly, but I no longer think so. But I don’t want her focusing on him. I want her heart as it is completely interwoven with mine.
"What can I do to make this work between us?"
She searches my eyes, her brown to my brown. “Hayden,” she sighs, “It was a fling, let’s keep it—”
“Don’t you fucking lie to me about what we had. Respect me enough to never use that word again. It’s an insult, one I don’t deserve.”
Giving in, she says, “I’m sorry, but it still doesn’t change anything. I don’t think I’m cut out for the world you live in, Hayden.”
“How do you know? You haven’t been a part of my world for long enough, you haven’t given me a full chance to show how you and the baby can fit perfectly into it.”
She shakes her head. “You’re caught up in the pregnancy. If it weren’t for the baby, we would still be three thousand miles apart.”
“Not in my fucking heart.” Taking her hand, I press it against my chest, letting her feel how wildly it beats for her. “You have been buried inside here since the day I first met you. Why do you think I traveled around Binghamton going from hospital to hospital looking for you? Because I knew leaving Racer’s house without your number was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, second to letting you walk out of the cottage the day I was traded. This isn’t a fling for me, this isn’t because of us having a baby together, and this isn’t because you live out here now. This feeling I have for you, this powerful, all-consuming feeling, it’s fucking real and I’ll be damned if I don’t try to earn your heart every day for the rest of my life.”
“Hayden . . .” A tear falls from her eye that I quickly wipe away with my thumb.
&nbs
p; “Don’t say anything, I don’t need an answer. I need a chance. Let me prove to you the hurt you harbor for me was a one-time thing. This between us is real, Adalyn, and if I have to spend every day of my damn life proving that to you, then I will. Let me prove it to you, will you do that? Will you give me a chance?”
Taking a deep breath, she looks up, her eyes watery and bloodshot. Peering into the distance, she says, “That day, the day you were traded, I remember waking up feeling different, thinking about our little getaway in New York City. I knew I was pregnant. I had a feeling I was, and when realization crashed all around me I’d never felt more alone before in my life. And then”—she buries her head in her hands—“I saw you were dating that morning show host—”
“Listen to me, Adalyn. She was nothing. I was so goddamn lonely out here, you weren’t talking to me, the guys on the team had their own lives, and I needed someone to talk to, someone to keep me from feeling so alone. I never even kissed her, because she was a friend. And when I realized her feelings were different than mine, that I didn’t think of her as anything other than a friend, we went our separate ways.”
Looking at me now, she says, “So then you know what it feels like to feel like you’re facing a new situation all by yourself.” She takes pause. “I know I have no right to be upset about Noely, but it still stung. It still bit me straight to the core, it still does. I never want to feel like that again. Logan might not be who I want, but at least I won’t be alone.” Standing from her crouched position she picks the bouquet up from the bench and tucks them against her arm. “Thank you for these, but I should get back inside, it’s getting late.”
Walking away, her long cardigan blowing in the light breeze, my soul cracks in half as once again she tries to put more distance between us.
Not this time.
Catching up, I stand in front of her, halting her retreat. Tipping her chin up, I step in close, feeling the strong pull between us. “You said Logan is not the man you want, but the man who is there. Who’s the man you want?”
She tries to look away, but I force her to keep her gaze set on mine.
“Tell me, Adalyn, who do you want?”
She bites her bottom lip, wet droplets rolling down her cheeks. “You, Hayden. You’re the man I want but can’t have. The man I need to stay as far away from as possible, because there is no doubt in my mind, you’re the man who can break me, and with a baby on the way, I can’t be broken. I need to be strong.”
Despite her confession at the end, hope blossoms in the pit of my stomach. She wants me. That’s all I needed to hear. There is a chance, and it’s up to me to show her, even though I have a busy schedule, I will always be there for her; I can make our relationship work. I won’t break her. If anything, I will make her stronger.
“No one said you can’t have me, Adalyn.” Stepping in closer, my grip still holding her chin in place, I lean forward, inches from her mouth. “I’m all yours for the keeping, and I don’t mind showing you exactly how much I fit into your world, how you fit into mine.”
“Hayden, I can’t—”
Pressing a chaste kiss across her lips, not lingering, I pull back, silencing her. “Promise me two things. Please, this is all I ask, just two things, after not telling me for so long, give me this chance.” Her heavy lids part open, revealing those whiskey-brown eyes, giving me an opening. So goddamn beautiful. “Answer my phone calls and texts.” Cautiously, she nods her head, swallowing hard. I press another chaste kiss against her lips and lift barely off her mouth when I say, “And don’t let that fuckhead touch you. You’re mine, and I’m going to prove it. Be patient with me, baby. I promise what we have will be night and day compared to any connection you’ve ever had with Logan.”
Placing another light kiss across her lips, I allow myself to linger for a moment longer than anticipated but pull away when she parts her lips.
She’s going to have to wait if she wants more, because we are nowhere near the end of the road for our relationship. No, we just started a brand new trip, and this one is headed for forever.
Game on. Adalyn will be mine.
Chapter Twenty-Three
HAYDEN
I put my car in park and stare at the office building in front of me. I would have preferred to woo Adalyn in private but now that fucking Logan lives with her—which don’t even get me started on—I have no choice but to visit her at her office building because I’ll be damned if I have to stand there, talking to Adalyn with Logan’s shit-eating grin staring back at me.
I pick up the bakery box next to me and head into the building, pulling my hat down on my forehead, hoping I’m not recognized. I don’t want to draw any attention to myself, because all I want to do is say good morning to my girl, tell her to have a good day, and then head off to the rink for some training.
Heading to the second floor for suite 210—thank you, Chris—I turn the corner to a span of glass windows only to see Logan talking to Adalyn in the office entryway.
Spinning against a wall to hide myself, I mutter, “Son of a bitch!” Clutching the pink pastry box close to my stomach, I lean past the corner of the wall, one eye peeking past.
What is he doing here? I swear to God, if he’s working with Adalyn as well, I’m going to straight up chuck these pastries at the glass windows, stomp my feet, and throw a goddamn tantrum. It is not beneath me to do so.
Intently, I watch their every move, their body language and the way the fucker leans in toward her, laughing as if Adalyn said the funniest thing. She’s funny, but come on, throwing your head back and laughing so early in the morning. Can we say desperate?
Leaning in closer, Logan wraps his arms around Adalyn’s shoulders, hugging her.
My nostrils flare as my hands accidentally crush the corners of the pastry box. If he goes in for a kiss, I will see red.
Holding my breath, my eyes trained on the man who’s making my life difficult, I wait. Adalyn rubs his back, he returns the touch, and I’m two seconds from making a Hayden-shaped hole through the glass of the office.
He says something to her, squeezes her again and then pulls away. I wait on bated breath for their next move. “Get out of there, you motherfucker,” I whisper. “Stop lingering and move the fuck on.” Leaning in a little farther Logan holds Adalyn’s attention, and I’m itching to make my move to break them up when Adalyn steps away and waves.
Jesus Christ.
I scurry back behind the wall and let out a long breath. The glass door to the office opens and Logan takes off down the stairs, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his phone.
“Trip, you motherfucker, trip.” To my disappointment, there isn’t any thumping down the stairs . . . unfortunately. I wait a few seconds before rounding the corner, puffing my chest, and walking toward the office while attempting to un-crinkle the corners of the pastry box.
When I enter the office there are no patients, thankfully, and the receptionists seems to be out of sight as well as Adalyn. Walking up to the counter, I lean over and say, “Hello?”
“We’re closed right now,” Adalyn calls out.
“Hey, Adalyn.” Her head pops around a partition. Mouth parts in surprise.
“Hayden, what are you doing here?” Her eyes scan the area behind me probably wondering if I ran into Logan. Thankfully I was spared conversing with him.
I nod with my head. “Come here and find out.”
Stepping out to the front, her baby-blue scrubs bring out the pink in her cheeks and are starting to fit snug to her little pregnant belly. I can’t help it. My eyes go straight to the bump.
Pulling on her shirt, she says, “I have to get some new scrubs, these are getting a little tight.”
“You look beautiful.” Standing awkwardly, I pull her into a hug, wanting to erase the last one she just received. “How are you this morning? Did you get sick?”
Shaking her head against my chest, she says, “No, thankfully. Lo-uh, I made eggs this morning and some toast and ate it fir
st thing, which seemed to settle my stomach.”
I’m not stupid, she was going to say Logan made her eggs. Trying to seem as casual as possible, she doesn’t need more stress, so I give her a squeeze.
“That’s great to hear. And you have your water?” Dumb question but I don’t know what else to say, I want to show her I care, but I really have no idea how to go about doing that, so water talk it is. This used to be so much easier.
“Yes, got my water.” She steps back and fiddles with her hands in front of her, avoiding eye contact. Christ, from where I stood, she had a much better conversation with Logan, and it’s about killing me to know that.
“Got the office some pastries. There is a place around the corner that sells really good apple fritters. Thought you and the ladies might like to pick at them throughout the day.”
Adalyn tilts her head to the side when she speaks to me. “That was very thoughtful of you, but don’t you have a game today?”
“Yeah, but I don’t have to report in until later. When I have a home stretch, I’m around quite a bit.” Hint, hint. I’m not gone all the time. “Which reminds me”—I reach into my back pocket—“I have some tickets for you and the staff here for the game on Sunday. Don’t feel like you need to go, but if you are interested, here are a few tickets. And I put your name on the list for the family and friends suite for after the game. They usually have drinks and snacks afterwards. It’s fun, and you get to greet the players when they come off the ice.”
“Oh, thank you.” She takes the tickets. “I’m sure the girls will love to go.”
“Chris’s wife should be there.” I put my hands in my pockets. “Shannon, right?”
Adalyn nods. “Yes, Shannon. She told me she goes to every game.” Looking at the tickets, she jokes, “Couldn’t get tickets for tonight?”
Chuckling, I shake my head. “Thought it would be polite to give you a week’s notice.”