And skimmed the grass
On Yerbey's lawn and almost crashed
Right into Hansen's silo-but
Zoomed up in time and almost hit
The courthouse. Old Man Cooley bit
Right through his napkin when he saw
A kid fly through the diner door-
And out of the window, tipping the ladder-
139
Where Smokey was painting, he almost had a Heart attack-he clung to a rafter.
The kid flew on-
Us runnin' after,
Cheering and sweating
And screaming, "Hooray!"
Mayor Lowry shouted, "Hey-
Come down here, kid. We'd like to say
How proud of you we are today.
Who ever thought our little
Town would have a hero in it?
So I'd like to proclaim this day-hey, kid!
Will you please come down for just a minute?"
But the flying kid did not come down.
He treaded air above the town.
Sort of cryin' and looking down
At all of us here on the ground.
Then up he flew, up into the clouds.
Flapping and flying so far and high.
Out past the hills and into the sky
Until a tiny speck against the sun
Was all we could see of him ... then he was gone.
140
BAND-AIDS I have a Band-Aid on my finger.
One on my knee, and one on my nose.
One on my heel, and two on my shoulder.
Three on my elbow, and nine on my toes.
Two on my wrist, and one on my ankle.
One on my chin, and one on my thigh.
Four on my belly, and five on my bottom.
One on my forehead, and one on my eye.
One on my neck, and in case I might need 'em
I have a box full of thirty-five more.
But oh! I do think it's sort of a pity
I don't have a cut or a sore!
141
DREADFUL Someone ate the baby,
It's rather sad to say.
Someone ate the baby
So she won't be out to play.
We'll never hear her whiney cry
Or have to feel if she is dry.
We'll never hear her asking "Why?"
Someone ate the baby.
Someone ate the baby.
It's absolutely clear
Someone ate the baby
'Cause the baby isn't here.
We'll give away her toys and clothes.
We'll never have to wipe her nose.
Dad says, "That's the way it goes."
Someone ate the baby.
Someone ate the baby.
What a frightful thing to eat!
Someone ate the baby
Though she wasn't very sweet.
It was a heartless thing to do.
The policemen haven't got a clue.
I simply can't imagine who
Would go and (burp) eat the baby.
142
SKINNY Skinny McGuinn
was so terribly thin
that while taking his bath
Sunday night,
out popped the plug
and sloosh-swoosh
and glug-glug
it washed Skinny
right down the drain
out of sight.
And where is our dear Skinny
bathing tonight?
In some underground pool
down below?
Or up there so high
in that tub in the sky
where all of the clean people go?
143
THE LAND OF HAPPY Have you been to The Land of Happy,
Where everyone's happy all day,
Where they joke and they sing
Of the happiest things.
And everything's jolly and gay?
There's no one unhappy in Happy,
There's laughter and smiles galore.
I have been to The Land of Happy-
What a bore!
144
PIRATE CAPTAIN JIM "Walk the plank," says Pirate Jim.
"But Captain Jim, I cannot swim."
"Then you must steer us through the gale."
"But Captain Jim, I cannot sail."
"Then down with the galley slaves you go."
"But Captain Jim, I cannot row."
"Then you must be the pirate's clerk."
"But Captain Jim, I cannot work."
"Then a pirate captain you must be."
"Thank you, Jim," says Captain Me.
145
FISH? The little fish eats the tiny fish,
The big fish eats the little fish-
So only the biggest fish get fat.
Do you know any folks like that?
146
IF THE WORLD WAS CRAZY If the world was crazy, you know what I'd eat?
A big slice of soup and a whole quart of meat,
A lemonade sandwich, and then I might try
Some roasted ice cream or a bicycle pie,
A nice notebook salad, an underwear roast,
An omelet of hats and some crisp cardboard toast,
A thick malted milk made from pencils and daisies.
And that's what I'd eat if the world was crazy.
If the world was crazy, you know what I'd wear?
A chocolate suit and a tie of eclair,
Some marshmallow earmuffs, some licorice shoes.
And I'd read a paper of peppermint news.
I'd call the boys "Suzy" and I'd call the girls "Harry,"
I'd talk through my ears, and I always would carry
A paper umbrella for when it grew hazy
To keep in the rain, if the world was crazy.
If the world was crazy, you know what I'd do?
I'd walk on the ocean and swim in my shoe,
I'd fly through the ground and I'd skip through the air,
I'd run down the bathtub and bathe on the stair.
When I met somebody I'd say "G'bye, Joe,"
And when I was leaving-then I'd say "Hello."
And the greatest of men would be silly and lazy
So I would be king ... if the world was crazy.
147
STONE TELLING How do we tell if a window is open?
Just throw a stone at it.
Does it make a noise?
It doesn't?
Well, it was open.
Now let's try another...
CRASH!
It wasn't!
CHESTER
Chester come to school and said,
"Durn, I growed another head."
Teacher said,"It's time you knowed
The word is 'grew' instead of 'growed.' "
148
THE SILVER FISH While fishing in the blue lagoon
I caught a lovely silver fish.
And he spoke to me. "My boy," quoth he,
"Please set me free and I'll grant your wish ...
A kingdom of wisdom? A palace of gold?
Or all the goodies your fancies can hold?"
So I said, "OK," and I threw him free.
And he swam away and he laughed at me
Whispering my foolish wish
Into a silent sea,
Today I caught that fish again.
That lovely silver prince of fishes,
And once again he offered me-
If I would only set him free-
Any one of a number of wonderful wishes....
He was delicious!
149
FORGOTTEN LANGUAGE Once I spoke the language of the flowers.
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in
my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets.
And joined the crying of each falling dying
flake of snow.
Once I spoke the language of the flowers ....
How did it go?
How did it go?
150
THE GENERALS Said General Clay to General Gore,
"Oh must we fight this silly war?
To kill and die is such a bore."
"I quite agree," said General Gore.
151
Said General Gore to General Clay, "We could go to the beach today
And have some ice cream on the way."
"A grand idea," said General Clay.
Said General Clay to General Gore,
"We'll build sand castles on the shore."
Said General Gore, "We'll splash and play.
"Let's leave right now," said General Clay.
Said General Gore to General Clay,
"But what if the sea is closed today?
And what if the sand's been blown away?"
"A dreadful thought," said General Clay.
Said General Gore to General Clay,
"I've always feared the ocean's spray,
And we may drown!" "It's true, we may.
It chills my blood," said General Clay.
Said General Clay to General Gore,
"My bathing suit is slightly tore.
We'd better go on with our war."
"I quite agree," said General Gore.
Then General Clay charged General Gore
As bullets flew and cannons roared.
And now, alas! there is no more
Of General Clay or General Gore.
152
JUST ME, JUST ME Sweet Marie, she loves just me
(She also loves Maurice McGhee).
No she don't, she loves just me
(She also loves Louise Dupree).
No she don't, she loves just me
(She also loves the willow tree).
No she don't, she loves just me!
(Poor, poor fool, why can't you see
She can love others and still love thee.)
STANDING
Standing on my elbow
With my finger in my ear,
Biting on a dandelion.
And humming kind of queer
While I watched a yellow caterpillar
Creeping up my wrist,
I leaned on a tree
And I said to me,
"Why am I doing this?"
153
THE ONE WHO STAYED You should have heard the old men cry.
You should have heard the biddies
When that sad stranger raised his flute
And piped away the kiddies.
Katy, Tommy,Meg and Bob
Followed, skipping gaily.
Red-haired Ruth, my brother Rob,
And little crippled Bailey,
John and Nils and Cousin Claire,
Dancin', spinnin', turnin'
'Cross the hills to God knows where-
They never came returnin'.
'Cross the hills to God knows where
The piper pranced, a leadin'
Each child in Hamlin Town but me.
And I stayed home unheedin'.
My papa says that I was blest
For if that music found me,
I'd be witch-cast like all the rest.
This town grows old around me.
I cannot say I did not hear
That sound so haunting hollow-
I heard, I heard, I heard it clear ...
I was afraid to follow.
154
MELINDA MAE Have you heard of tiny Melinda Mae,
Who ate a monstrous whale?
She thought she could,
She said she would.
So she started in right at the tail.
155
And everyone said, "You're much too small," But that didn't bother Melinda at all.
She took little bites and she chewed very slow,
Just like a good girl should ...
156
...And in eighty-nine years she ate that whale Because she said she would!
157157 158
THE LITTLE BLUE ENGINE The little blue engine looked up at the hill.
His light was weak, his whistle was shrill.
He was tired and small, and the hill was tall,
And his face blushed red as he softly said,
"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."
So he started up with a chug and a strain,
And he puffed and pulled with might and main.
And slowly he climbed, a foot at a time.
And his engine coughed as he whispered soft,
"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."
With a squeak and a creak and a toot and a sigh.
With an extra hope and an extra try.
He would not stop-now he neared the top-
And strong and proud he cried out loud,
"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!"
He was almost there, when-CRASH! SMASH! BASH!
He slid down and mashed into engine hash
On the rocks below ... which goes to show
If the track is tough and the hill is rough,
THINKING you can just ain't enough!
159
AFRAID OF THE DARK I'm Reginald Clark, I'm afraid of the dark
So I always insist on the light on,
And my teddy to hug.
And my blanket to rub.
And my thumby to suck or to bite on.
And three bedtime stories.
Two trips to the toilet.
Two prayers, and five hugs from my mommy,
I'm Reginald Clark, I'm afraid of the dark
So please do not close this book on me.
160
HUNGRY MUNGRY Hungry Mungry sat at supper.
Took his knife and spoon and fork,
Ate a bowl of mushroom soup, ate a slice of roasted pork,
Ate a dozen stewed tomatoes, twenty-seven deviled eggs,
Fifteen shrimps, nine baked potatoes.
Thirty-two fried chicken legs,
A shank of lamb, a boiled ham,
Two bowls of grits, some black-eye peas,
Four chocolate shakes, eight angel cakes,
Nine custard pies with Muenster cheese,
Ten pots of tea, and after he
Had eaten all that he was able.
He poured some broth on the tablecloth
And ate the kitchen table.
His parents said, "Oh Hungry Mungry, stop these silly jokes."
Mungry opened up his mouth, and "Gulp," he ate his folks.
And then he went and ate his house, all the bricks and wood,
And then he ate up all the people in the neighborhood.
Up came twenty angry policemen shouting, "Stop and cease."
Mungry opened up his mouth and "Gulp," he ate the police.
Soldiers came with tanks and guns.
Said Mungry, "They can't harm me."
He just smiled and licked his lips and ate the U.S. Army.
161
The President sent all his bombers-Mungry still was calm. Put his head back, gulped the planes, and gobbled up the bomb.
He ate his town and ate the city-ate and ate and ate-
And then he said, "I think I'll eat the whole United States."
And so he ate Chicago first and munched the Water Tower,
And then he chewed on Pittsburgh but he found it rather sour.
He ate New York and Tennessee, and all of Boston town,
Then drank the Mississippi River just to wash it down.
And when he'd eaten every state, each puppy, boy and girl
He wiped his mouth upon his sleeve and went to eat the world.
He ate the Egypt pyramids and every church in Rome,
And al
l the grass in Africa and all the ice in Nome.
He ate each hill in green Brazil and then to make things worse
He decided for dessert he'd eat the universe.
He started with the moon and stars and soon as he was done
He gulped the clouds, he sipped the wind and gobbled up the sun.
Then sitting there in the cold dark air.
He started to nibble his feet,
Then his legs, then his hips
Then his neck, then his lips
Till he sat there just gnashin' his teeth
'Cause nothin' was nothin' was
Nothin' was nothin' was
Nothin' was left to eat.
162
163
MY BEARD My beard grows to my toes,
I never wears no clothes,
I wraps my hair
Around my bare.
And down the road I goes.
164
MERRY... No one's hangin' stockin's up.
No one's bakin' pie.
No one's lookin' up to see
A new star in the sky.
No one's talkin' brotherhood.
No one's givin' gifts.
And no one loves a Christmas tree
On March the twenty-fifth.
165 165
166
THE SEARCH I went to find the pot of gold
That's waiting where the rainbow ends.
I searched and searched and searched and searched
And searched and searched, and then-
There it was, deep in the grass.
Under an old and twisty bough.
It's mine, it's mine, it's mine at last....
What do I search for now?
167 168
169
170
INDEX Acrobats, 10
Afraid of the Dark, 159
Alice, 112
Bagpipe Who Didn't Say No, 132-133
Band-Aids, 140
Bang-Klang, 120
Battle, 105
Benjamin Bunnn, 104
Bloath, 108
Boa Constrictor, 45
Captain Hook, 18
Chester, 147
Colors, 24
Crocodile's Toothache, 66
Dancing Pants, 126
Dirtiest Man in the World, 96-97
Double-Tail Dog, 123
Drats, 72
Dreadful, 141
Early Bird, 30
Edge of the World, 89
Eighteen Flavors, 116
Enter This Deserted House, 56
Farmer and the Queen, 32-33
Fish?, 145
Flag, 24
Flying Festoon, 80
171
Forgotten Language, 149 Fourth, 15
Fred?, 135
Garden, 61
Generals, 150-151
Googies Are Coming, 50
Hat, 74
Hector the Collector, 46-47
Helping, 101
Homemade Boat, 12
Hug o' War, 19
Hungry Mungry, 160-161