“I’m trying to keep you happy and sane, and keep Johnny from losing it too.” He pointed to his chest. “I am not the bad guy here, Al.”
“No, but Carl is…why would you want him here? You hate him as much as I do.”
“If Carl’s checking in daily, we can keep an eye on him. It’ll keep him from screwing up our investigation and freely talking to the press whenever he wants,” Brian said.
“Exactly,” Mark said.
Ali wrapped her arms around her shoulders and hugged herself. She didn’t care about Mark’s motives, she needed Johnny. He was the only person who truly understood how she felt, and she needed that connection with someone. The agony of not knowing what happened to Micah was more than she could bear alone…losing Johnny too…she covered her face with her hands to hide her forming tears. If—when Micah came home, she wanted Johnny to be there, not Carl.
“What’s it gonna be, Al?” Mark asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“I want Johnny here…but Carl needs to stay away from us.”
Chapter Nineteen
They agreed Ali should approach Carl alone. She prepared herself and pushed back her emotions long enough to fake a sincere conversation with him. Regardless of his motives, he was at least pretending to care about Micah and she would exploit that if she had to.
She entered the house and walked into the living room where Carl was being questioned by Agent Peters. Ali was a little surprised at the tone used by the FBI Agent, as gentle and careful as he’d been with her, he was the exact opposite with Carl, harsh and short. Asking questions that didn’t seem relevant for the father of a missing child, it was confirmation that Bill had actually listened to her when she explained her relationship with Carl and Carl’s non-existent relationship with Micah. She was torn between pity for Carl and pleasure, because he deserved the bad judgment. He had abandoned his child and now his child had been stolen. Any respectable—any caring father would have been here days ago.
She skirted back into the dining room and waited for them to finish. A few minutes later, when Agent Peters rounded the corner from the living room, he was red faced and looked a little angry.
He nodded at her and said, “We’re finished.”
She whispered a quiet thank you and went back to find Carl.
She wanted to laugh when she compared Carl’s pale face to Agent Peters’ red face, but she didn’t know for sure if he was pale with worry or pale with fear.
He looked up at her when she sat across from him. He leaned forward and started to talk, but she held up her hand to silence him. “Why are you here, Carl?”
His lids drooped and he said, “I’m worried about you. I thought you might need me. I didn’t want you to have to deal with this alone.”
“As you can see, I’m not alone.”
“Yes, but Alison we are the parents. We should be dealing with this together. I want to be involved too.”
She leaned forward. “Why? You’ve never cared before.”
“And I regret that.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “I should have been here to protect you, I know that now.”
“Well I don’t need you. If that’s all you’re worried about, then you can leave.”
“I want to be here, be involved. Let me stay, I’ll sleep in the guest room,” he said. “You don’t need him here, you need your husband.”
“No! Don’t you—don’t you dare.” Heat flushed her face and she fought to hold back her anger, trying not to forget she had a purpose for talking to him. “You are no longer my husband—and you can absolutely not sleep here.” She closed her eyes for a moment to regain her composure. Why was she surprised by anything that ever came out of his mouth? “Okay, Carl…you want to be here. I get that.” She stuffed her tongue in her cheek trying to find the words she needed. “You can’t sleep here, I’m sorry, but that’s not okay with me…but I’ll let you come by every day to check on the status. I have one condition.”
His face perked up and he scooted forward, reaching for her hands, but she jerked away before he could touch her. “No. Two conditions.”
“Anything, Alison. I don’t want to make this harder on you.”
“You can come over daily, check on the status, check on things here.” She nearly cringed when she said it. “But first, you can’t touch me. Ever.” She waited for him to respond to that.
His eyes drifted to the floor and he nodded in agreement.
“Second, you can’t have Johnny arrested. You can be here only if he can stay.” He started to speak but she stopped him again. “I mean it! No more threats, no talking to the press about Johnny, Brian or Mark. None of it or I’ll have Agent Peters toss you out on your ass. You got it?”
Carl stared at her for a few moments and she could almost hear the gears shifting in his brain as he considered what she’d said. He finally smiled, it wasn’t a kind smile, more of a smirk. “Let me get this straight.” He leaned a little more forward. “You’ll let me ‘stop by’ every day to check on things provided I don’t speak to the press about anything…is that right?”
The calculating glare on his face made Ali a little sick to her stomach. “Yes, Carl, I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”-
“Well—the fact is, Alison, I seem to be holding the cards here.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s as important to you that your boyfriend stay out of jail.”
“What exactly are you saying, Carl?”
“I’m saying, you’ll let me stay here, in the guest room and I’ll not press charges against that puck”—he pointed toward the dining room—“I’m also saying, if you don’t let me stay here, I’ll say whatever the hell I want to the press. Does this make our situation more clear?” Ali’s stomach turned. How had she ever loved such a conniving person? “Agent Peters will have you arrested for obstruction if you speak to the press.”
He smiled again and his eyes sparkled with satisfaction. “Ah, but then Johnny will get arrested too. Which is more important to you? Keeping me away, or keeping him here?” He lifted his hands out, palms up. “It’s your decision, Honey.”
What could she say, her son had been stolen and now his father was blackmailing her…and she had to give in if she wanted to keep Johnny here. “I hate you,” she whispered.
“I’m just trying to do the right thing for our son, Alison.”
“Fuck off and die, Carl.” She stood and walked away from him.
“Is that a yes, Honey?”
Ew, God, his sickly sweet tone pushed her anger to its peak. “You can stay, but keep the hell away from me or I might just kill you.”
Johnny crept into the entry hall with Brian and waited for Ali to finish with Carl. He sat on the bottom step and tried to listen, but he couldn’t hear with all the other activity going on throughout the house. Brian walked passed him and stood in the doorway to the living room for a moment, then he walked back over and leaned against the wall near the steps.
A few minutes later, Ali walked out of the living room and faced them. She nodded and said, “He agreed.” Her face was red hot and set into such a deep frown, Johnny was afraid to say anything.
Brian looked at his watch and said, “Thanks, Ali, I know you don’t want him here, but it’s better if we can keep an eye on him.”
She closed her eyes, exhaled heavily and said, “Just keep him away from me or I may be the one getting arrested.”
Johnny stood and moved aside for her to climb the stairs. She didn’t even look at him as she passed. Okay, so she was pissed at him and he couldn’t blame her. It was stupid to go after Carl like he did.
He walked into the bedroom behind her and approached as she parted the curtain to look out at the reporters lining the street. He wrapped his arms around her but she stiffened at his touch. Damn. Her, not wanting h
im was enough to turn his blood cold.
She bowed her head and said, “What were you thinking?”
“What was I thinking? The son of a bitch accused me of planning Micah’s kidnapping.” He withdrew and paced away from her. “I’m sorry but he had it coming.”
“What’s going to happen if you can’t control yourself around him? I need you here. If you provoke him, he’ll screw everything up…he’ll talk to the press out of spite alone.”
“I know…but it’s hard to watch him play husband and father. I can only take so much.”
She turned to face him, obviously fighting tears. He hated seeing that look on her face. “You promised me…you promised to be here for me.”
“You’re right,” he whispered, coming back to her and wrapping his arms around her again, this time she gave into him. “I’m a bastard and I don’t deserve you.”
“He’s the bastard.” She pushed back and looked into his eyes. “And yes, you do. Don’t say things like that.”
His eyes dropped and he said, “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at him. “You really don’t get it do you?”
The bottom fell out of his stomach. “What are you talking about?” The look on her face was teasing and now he felt like the butt of a joke he didn’t understand.
“I love you, you fucking idiot.”
Two things happened at once. His chest nearly exploded with the most intense sense of need…and he felt a little insulted at being called an idiot, but he knew which emotion he wanted to address first.
His feelings for her were sure, solid, and causing lack of sleep since the first time he’d met her. That’s why he’d hopped in his pickup and drove three thousand miles to be with her, but he didn’t think…didn’t know…and didn’t understand why she would fall for such a redneck fool like him.
“Do you think…” Her voice grew thick with tears. “I could ever—ever choose Carl after you have shown me what this feels like?” She squeezed his hands to emphasize her point.
He cupped her face, wanting to kiss her, but she stopped him and said, “Repeat after me…I know Ali loves me and I am good enough for her.”
“Very funny,” he whispered and couldn’t keep the grin from popping up on his lips.
“Not funny, true.” She kissed him lightly. “Say it,” she said, pulling out of the kiss.
Johnny shook his head.
“Say it,” she gave him a gentle slap on the cheek.
“You’re pushing your luck, woman.”
“Say it!”
“I love you…” he drawled.
“I know Ali loves me…and I am good enough for her,” Ali repeated for him, and then she slapped him a little harder.
“Good lord, woman—you’re driving me crazy.” He kissed her again with more passion this time, pulling her off her feet and into his arms. “I love you so much—I could eat you alive right now.”
He felt her relax in his arms, but he wasn’t sure if it was from the relief of him returning her feelings or from pure and simple exhaustion.
“Then say it,” she whispered, a hint of pleading now coming through in her voice.
“I know Ali loves me and I am good enough for her.”
“Thank you,” she said laying her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes.
She loved him. “I know Ali loves me and I am good enough for her,” he whispered again, ready to stop doubting.
He’d let her down today, bad, and that was unacceptable. It was just too hard to take it easy when her ex-husband was under the same roof—ha! He had to laugh. Both her ex-husbands were under the same roof. Fuck!
An hour later, Johnny tried to convince her to go downstairs with him to eat. She couldn’t find an appetite to save her own life. How could she eat when she wasn’t sure if her baby was being fed? God she missed him, and Jamie too. She wanted both her boys home.
“Don’t hide from Carl, this is your house. If you stay up here and hide then you’re letting him get the best of you,” Johnny said.
He was right, but that didn’t make it easier. Carl wouldn’t hesitate to send Johnny to jail if he were given another chance. What if he couldn’t contain his anger when faced with Carl’s mocking condescension? She shook her head, Carl’s words still grating on her. “I hate him. I’ve never hated anyone like I hate him right now.”
“What did he say to you? The look on your face when you came out of that living room was murderous.”
“It doesn’t matter, but please, just don’t provoke him again. He has no problem sending you to jail.”
When they got downstairs and walked through the dining room, Carl and Mark were sitting across from each other. It looked like a stand-off.
“What’s going on?” she asked Mark not looking at Carl.
“Carl watched the DVD of the kidnapping.”
Ali turned to Carl and realized how pale he was, almost green. The room grew quiet then Carl looked up at Ali. He reached for her hand, but she jerked away quickly. Johnny’s hand tightened on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Carl muttered. “Were you hurt?”
“I’m fine.”
Carl looked at Johnny. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I didn’t realize…thank you.” He lowered his eyes. “She might have been killed if you weren’t there. Thank you.”
“It’s not your place to thank me,” Johnny said. “I protect what’s mine.”
A chill drifted over the four of them and Mark’s eyes flickered to Carl, but Carl’s only response was a slight nod.
Johnny turned her and led her into the kitchen. When they were away from Mark and Carl, Ali took a deep relieving breath.
“You okay?” Johnny asked.
“Yeah, fine.” She nodded meeting his eyes. “I’ve never seen him like that. I hope he finally realizes how serious this is.”
“I imagine he’s never seen you like this either.” He chuckled. “You’re scary when you’re mad.”
“I’m not usually so…physical. I guess I’m a little over emotional these days.” She gave him an apologetic smile.
He chuckled and tugged the fridge open. “It’s great foreplay, Ali-cat. I kinda like it.” He took out a covered dish and examined it. “What would you like to eat?”
“I would rather not…”
He gave her a sideways stare and pulled out a different casserole dish. “I’ll pick,” he said replacing the first dish and closing the fridge.
While he prepared plates of food, she walked over and stared down at Micah’s highchair.
This house…her life felt so empty without her little boy here. In a million years, she couldn’t picture herself moving on without him. She hugged herself and closed her eyes and tried to remember life before Micah, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to live in a world without him. Her heart ached painfully in her chest. Her baby, her sweet little boy…how could someone hurt him?
Ali’s stomach lurched and she felt a prickling in the center of her back, her thoughts centering directly to her sister.
“Melissa?” As soon as Melissa’s name left her lips, a sense of dread seeped through her.
She turned quickly and rushed into the living room, leaving Johnny behind. “Melissa!” she shouted and rounded the corner to the living room where she found Brian standing with his wife Julie and Melissa. Both women had their hands over their faces and heaving shoulders from their hysterical crying. Brian looked like the walking dead with his straight, pale face. He watched them cry, concern and confusion etched on his face, like he wasn’t sure who to comfort first.
When Ali laid eyes on them, her heart fell into her stomach. She crossed the room to her sister. “What’s happened?” She asked wide-eyed. “Oh my god, Brian—what happened?
” She felt on the verge of hysterics herself. Melissa would never breakdown in front of Brian unless something awful had happened. “Lis, what’s going on?”
“Ali, come sit down,” Brian said in a measured voice.
“No—no, tell me what’s happening.”
Footsteps sounded in the hall and Mark rounded the corner into the living room looking frantic. “Ali!”
“What the hell is going on?” she said, a little bit of her control slipping. “Brian—Mark, what?”
Brain reached for her arm. “Ali, they’ve found something.” He swallowed hard and more stress lines broke out on his forehead. “They’re not positive and we have no reason to assume—“
“Assume what—has Micah been found?”
Johnny placed a supporting arm around her. “Tell us what the hell is going on.”
“A body has been found, Ali,” Brian said. When Ali didn’t respond he emphasized, “An infant’s body.”
…an infant’s body
These were the last words Ali remembered hearing when she woke from the darkness. She tried to focus, but various voices rang around her, most of them hushed, but all carried that underlying hint of stress.
“You should have waited, Brian,” Mark said. “Should’ve—“
“Wait for what? I had to tell her. We can’t let her hear shit like this on the news and not warn her first. And what if we’re wrong? What if it is Micah?”
“It’s not Micah, it can’t be Micah.” Melissa’s weeping voice came from a distance.
“Denial isn’t going to help matters,” Brian said.
The arms around Ali tightened. “Ali, sweetheart, can you hear me?” Johnny’s tone made Ali want to wince. This was not the sweet, musical voice she loved, it was hurt, scared.
“Alison?” Carl said.
A snarl ripped from Johnny’s chest. “Back off, Hayes.”
“We should call an ambulance,” Julie said. “Brian, she’s not coming around, she might have hit her head.”