“No, I wouldn’t mind joining you at all, but one of us has to stay here with Micah.” He grinned again. “Just kiddin’, go ahead.”
Chapter Two
Ali climbed the stairs, leaving Johnny in charge of the sleeping baby. “You’re a lucky boy to have her for your Mama.” He leaned in, kissed his little head, inhaling that sweet baby scent.
When Johnny heard the water turn on upstairs, he searched around for a place to safely lay the baby down. “Couch? No—he might roll off. Ah… the floor? Yeah,” he muttered.
He knelt on the floor and laid out a blanket with his right hand, holding Micah to his chest with his left, and then he gently laid Micah in the middle of the soft blue blanket, covering him with another one just as soft.
Micah stirred a little so Johnny placed his large hand over Micah’s chest to replace the heat that had been lost when he pulled Micah away from his body. When Micah settled, he lifted it slowly and stood up.
“She shouldn’t have to take care of this baby alone.” He shook his head and said, “Where’s your daddy, little guy? Why isn’t he helping?”
Johnny looked around the room at Ali’s house, relieved to be amongst her things. After imagining her place for months, he realized he was pretty on target. Everything stood out, but looked in place at the same time. Her large crimson couch faced the focal point of the room, the huge, gray, stone fireplace. On each side of the couch sat swivel armchairs covered in bright colorful geometrical shapes of different sizes.
In the middle of the setting sat a large, round, oak coffee table, littered with empty baby bottles and toys. He quietly picked up the toys one at a time and laid them in the blue and green toy bin hiding in the corner of the room.
He folded the baby blankets lying across the couch and set them in a neat pile. After folding the blankets, he grabbed the empty baby bottles, carrying them through the foyer, the dining room, and into the kitchen. The huge house was cave like, the darkness casting a heavy fog on the bright colors, making everything feel stressed, or depressed. Void of something, it was sad…and made him sad. It just wasn’t Ali. She was all sunshine and light, her light is what drew him to her.
When he entered the dining room, he went to the sliding glass door to open the blinds. Pots of flowers in every color from deep purple to white bordered the large back patio. A pair of birch trees shaded most of the backyard and the beautiful lawn. The brightness helped push away the tension locked inside the house.
He opened the door to let in some fresh air before turning back to the room. A long counter with several barstools divided the kitchen from the dining room. This room wasn’t in better shape than the living room. Ali must have been going stir crazy trapped in this house with an unhappy baby.
Johnny returned to the living room and neatly replaced the throw pillows on her couch. “That’s better,” he whispered to himself. When the water turned off, he sat down and picked up the remote control.
An hour later, the ball game had ended, Micah still slept peacefully, and Ali hadn’t come downstairs. Johnny wandered over to the stairs, turning first to glance at Micah one more time before going up.
He poked his head in each room until he found Ali, sleeping in the middle of her bed, wrapped in a bath robe with a towel on her head.
Good, she’s sleeping. Johnny took in the room. Other than the messy bed this seemed to be the cleanest room in the house. Ali’s bright white robe stood out amongst the layers and piles of different shades of deep purple sheets and pillows. At her feet lay a crumpled fluffy comforter. He couldn’t believe how exhausted she looked. He hated seeing her like that. She shouldn’t be having to deal with a new baby on her own. Johnny watched her for a few minutes, wanting to crawl in with her, but he went back down stairs and left her sleeping.
“I guess if I can’t take her out, we can eat in.” He Googled pizza on his phone and found the closest, highest rated pizza joint in the neighborhood. “Nujo’s Pizza…this must be the place,” he muttered.
Forty-five minutes later, when the doorbell rang, Johnny rushed to the door before the deliveryman rang it again. He paid for the pizza and carried it to the kitchen. When he came back out to the living room, Micah lay wide-awake staring up at him with a toothless grin.
“Hey, little guy.” He picked him up and rested his palm on Micah’s forehead. “Good news, buddy, the fever’s gone.”
He bounced him a couple of times, getting another smile out of him before carrying him into the kitchen. “I guess you can’t eat pizza…let me see, you were born in December so that would make you about four months old…hum.”
He opened the fridge. “Well lookie here, little guy, your mama has your dinner ready.” Johnny pulled a bottle from the line of pre-made bottles in the fridge. Now, how to heat it? Microwave…no, let’s see, Ali must have some sort of gadget for this, right?
“Aha!” Johnny said triumphantly, making the baby jerk in his arms. He stuck the bottle in the warmer, checked to make sure it was plugged in and pressed the button. He held his hand near the machine and smiled at the radiating warmth. “We got it goin’ on now, Micah,” he said. Micah smiled back and Johnny got a little pang in his chest. “You’re a sweet lil’ thing. Why are you giving your mama trouble?” Micah’s grin grew from the attention. “I guess you both needed a nap, huh.”
Johnny found a beer in the fridge and five minutes later, he and Micah kicked back on the couch, watching TV while Micah sucked on his bottle. Johnny couldn’t get over how much Micah had grown in the last few months. He’d watch his nieces and nephews grow up, but seeing them every day made it difficult to see the changes. Micah’s features had taken shape since he’d seen him in December. He was really starting to look like Ali with the little personality in his smile and everything. It was hard not to fall in love with the little guy. He missed seeing Micah in February at Sarah and Mark’s wedding…not that he minded having Ali all to himself. If only he could’ve gotten her to stay for a few more days. He’d craved more time with her. Hell, he’d just plain craved her.
When Micah finished the bottle, Johnny went back to the kitchen and latched Micah into his reclining highchair and started loading the dishwasher.
“What are you doing?”
Johnny jumped, splashing water down the front of his shirt. “Good lord, woman, make some noise or something. You scared the daylights out of me.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Why are you doing my dishes—and cleaning my house?”
“I’m keepin’ busy while you rest. Micah and I are hanging out.” He looked over at Micah for some back up. “Huh, Micah?” Micah stared back with an open mouth.
“He’s happy.” Ali walked over to the highchair. “What did you do to him?”
“Bourbon—works every time.” When her mouth dropped open he grinned. “Just kiddin’.”
She relaxed and said, “Thank you for watching him. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“We had a good time. I ordered a pizza. Are you hungry?”
“Is that what I smell?” She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes.
He nodded at the box. “Yes ma’am.”
Ali lifted the lid of the pizza box and inhaled again. “Oh yeah, that smells good.” She glanced over at him. “You haven’t eaten any.”
“Waiting for you.” She was rockin’ that robe and, man, did he want to peel it off her. His gaze landed on the cleavage peeking out. “I figured since we couldn’t go out, we could eat in.”
She clutched the collar, pulling the robe tighter. “I’ll go get dressed.”
“Don’t get dressed on my account,” he said as she scurried away.
He took Micah from the highchair and carried him back into the living room to wait for her. When she came down fully dressed, Johnny tried not to show his disappointment.
“You’r
e not eating?” she said approaching the couch.
“Waiting for you.” He tipped the beer one more time before reaching to set it down.
“Stay put. I’ll make your plate. You can put Micah in his swing while we eat.” She motioned to the baby swing then turned toward the kitchen.
Johnny stared at the swing as they approached it. It can’t be that hard to figure out.
He sat Micah in the seat and adjusted the straps before buckling him in. “Now what?” he said, pushing on the seat to make it move back and forth. “That’s not right…,” he glanced up and found the power button, “All righty.” He clapped his hands and smiled wide at Micah. “You like that, little guy?” Johnny grinned at Micah’s droopy eyes and whispered, “Nighty night.”
Ali came back a few minutes later with two paper plates full of pizza slices and a diet Coke tucked under her arm. She handed him a plate and sat down on the other end of the couch.
“You don’t drink beer?” He nodded to her soda.
“No, not really. That’s been in the fridge since before Christmas. I don’t know…does beer get old?”
He pulled the bottle from his mouth and shrugged. “It’s good enough I guess. Why do you have beer in your house if you don’t drink?”
“It’s Carl’s beer. I never got around to throwing it out.” She waved a slice of pizza at him and took a bite. “Thanks for dinner.”
“I’m surprised he didn’t come back for this.” Johnny held the bottle up to look at the label. “It’s expensive Hefeweizen.”
“He didn’t come back for anything.” She stared at her plate and he thought maybe she was avoiding his eyes.
“Why? Did you threaten his life or something?”
“Nope,” she shook her head, “haven’t heard from him since he left, but I can prove he’s alive because he accepted the divorce papers when they were served.”
“Well…what about Micah?” Johnny sat up a little straighter. “He hasn’t come to visit his son?”
Ali shook her head. “Carl never showed much interest in Micah. Not even when I was pregnant.”
“What do you mean—never showed interest?”
She waved her slice of pizza at him. “He doesn’t care, never wanted a child.”
Johnny’s eyes leveled her with an intensity she wasn’t expecting.
“Don’t—we’re fine.” She met his glare with just as much intensity. She wanted him to believe her, they would be fine, she’d make sure of it. She didn’t need Carl, she didn’t need any man and she would prove it. “When Carl and I got married we agreed to no children. He loved Jamie and they got along great, but he didn’t want a baby, thought he was too old. Micah is a birth control baby.”
“So? Things happen, that doesn’t mean you abandon your kids.”
She looked away from him, wishing that were true. “Apparently some men wouldn’t agree with you. Our marriage was pretty much over the moment I told him I was pregnant.”
“What a bastard,” Johnny said. “How does he live with himself?”
Ali raised her eyebrows. “Huh… and that’s not even the worst of it.”
He set his plate on the table and linked his hands around his beer, his shoulders tensing. “What else did he do?”
Ali blinked heavily, not sure if he was seriously asking or if he was pretending not to know. “Sarah and Mark didn’t tell you?”
Johnny leaned forward. “Tell me what?”
Ali rolled her eyes and leaned over to set her plate down too. “You know how Sarah was almost raped by Rupert Maylyn last year, right?”
“What does that have to do with Carl?”
“When I was in labor with Micah, Carl cornered Sarah in the hospital waiting room and hit on her…aggressively hit on her… if you know what I mean.” She cleared her throat. “He knew about Maylyn’s attack…and how vulnerable she was. He cornered her anyway.”
He smacked his beer down on the coffee table. “Did Mark beat his ass?”
She didn’t even try to hide the grin. “Sarah gave him a bloody nose and two black eyes. When Carl came into my room he had cleaned up the blood.” She gestured to her face, fighting the nervous energy. “But he couldn’t hide the dark circles under his eyes or the swelling. He told me he walked into the sliding glass door on the hospital balcony.”
Johnny stared at her, his eyes stony.
She tried to act nonchalant under his scrutiny. “I thought Mark hit him and I knew he had to have done something terrible to provoke Mark like that.” She closed her eyes for a second, so much for nonchalant. When she opened her eyes, they met Johnny’s. “I finally got him to admit what he’d done. I told him to leave and I haven’t seen or talked to him since.”
Johnny stood up and circled the room. She thought he might be searching for an escape route out of her insane life.
He looked down at Micah for a long time then turned to Ali, his breathing a little labored. “What kind of man would walk away from such a sweet little boy…and you?”
Ali shrugged. “I don’t seem to have a very good effect on men. I either hurt them…or make them crazy.”
He glared at her, the intensity coming back. “No way in hell you’ve found a way to blame yourself for what he did.”
“It doesn’t matter. I didn’t give him a choice. I made him walk out.”
“You didn’t give him a choice when it came to you, but not Micah. He could still have a relationship with his son.”
Ali pressed her lips together; she didn’t have an answer for that. Johnny was right, Carl could’ve had a relationship with Micah but he hadn’t made any attempt to see his son in four months. Maybe it was better this way, Carl wasn’t cut out to be a dad.
“I guess it’s good riddance then?” Johnny sat back down next to her as if he was trying to shrug it off too.
Ali nodded and picked up her plate to eat more pizza. She needed to occupy herself so she could push away the awful memories. She didn’t want to have a mental breakdown today and certainly not with Johnny watching. “Thanks again for helping today.”
“Anytime…I can’t believe you’re doing this on your own.”
“Honestly, we’ve been okay. I’ve done this before you know. Micah’s an angel compared to Jamie when he was a baby.”
Johnny scoffed. “Yeah, but when Jamie was a baby, you had Mark to help. Now you’re alone.”
“I’m fine, Johnny. The last couple of days have been difficult because Micah’s been sick, but most of the time, Micah is a really easy baby to care for. I don’t mind doing this on my own, and I definitely don’t need Carl here.”
Johnny wanted more than anything to take away the pain he’d seen in Ali’s eyes. He backed off though, not wanting to push her if she wasn’t ready. Her strength amazed him. She’d sat there and told him everything about Carl without so much as shedding one tear.
When they finished eating, Ali found a movie on HBO for them to watch while Johnny played with Micah on his lap. He’d half expected her to send him home after dinner, but she seemed to need the company as much as he did.
They talked through most of the movie and he even got her to laugh a few times. When Micah got fussy she made him another bottle and curled into the corner of the couch with him cradled against her.
When the movie ended, Johnny turned to find them both sound asleep. He stood up and pulled Micah out of Ali’s grip. Her lids popped up and she focused her glazed eyes on him.
“I got him, sunshine, don’t worry.”
She released her grip and let Johnny take the baby from her.
Johnny carried Micah up to the nursery and laid him in the crib as easy as he could to not wake him. When Micah’s breathing steadied, Johnny reached over for the baby monitor. He turned the base on and carried the remote with him and went bac
k downstairs.
Ali was curled in a ball, fast asleep. He wanted more than anything to lay with her and hold her. He clicked off the TV and one of the lamps then knelt on the floor next to her. A strand of blond hair lay across her cheek and tucked under her chin. With a need to touch her, he brushed the hair off her face with gentle fingers, lingering on her cheek for a moment. She jerked awake with a start and he cupped her face to calm her.
“Hi…”
“Where’s Micah?” Her eyes darted around the room before focusing on his face.
Johnny handed her the baby monitor remote. “He’s asleep in his crib.”
“You put him to bed?” She held the monitor to her ear. “You have done this before, haven’t you?”
“Yeah.” He gave her a crooked smile. “Now…can I help you to bed before I take off? Unless you want me to stay and help with Micah. I could crash on the couch.”
“No, ah…I can get myself to bed. Thanks.” She sat up, steadied herself and followed him to the entry hall. “I really do appreciate the help today.”
Johnny turned back to her when they approached the front door. “Do you think I could come back and visit Micah sometime?” He leaned in close and got a whiff of her freshly shampooed hair. She was rumpled from dozing on the couch and it was the sexist thing he’d ever seen.
“Yeah…but,” she held her hand out, “hold on.” Then she leaned over the entry table and scribbled something on a pad of paper before ripping it off and handing it to him. “My phone number, so you can call first next time.”
Johnny smiled and took the phone number and pen from her, brushing his fingers over hers. He jotted down his number and handed the pen back. “And you can call me whenever you need a babysitter…or a dinner date.” He gave her one last grin and lumbered out the door.
Johnny drove home slowly, wishing he had convinced her to let him stay. His new place was amazing, but so quiet it drove him crazy. He parked his truck in the circular drive and went inside the house, sidestepping the boxes. He’d been in town for a few days, but he hadn’t done much of anything. He wasn’t due to start working at the Santa Rosa Police Department for a few weeks and he had no idea what to do with himself until then.