“Tallis,” I started, needing him to open up to me, to explain what the vision meant.
“Ah dinnae know why ’twas ye in the vision,” he said as he brought his gaze to mine. “That’s the part that doesnae make any sense tae meh.”
“You don’t know why it was me?” I repeated, shaking my head to show him I wasn’t following him at all. “What do you mean?”
“’Twas never ye,” he answered as he ran his hand through his short hair, all the while looking puzzled.
“What does that mean?!” I asked again, my tone of voice rising in pitch. “None of this makes any freaking sense at all!” I railed, and my voice cracked as I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. I took a deep breath and focused on the floor in order to calm down before I faced him again. “At least tell me something,” I begged. “At least give me something to hang on to.”
“Ah dinnae know whit tae tell ye!” he roared back at me, his anger surprising me. “Ah am as lost as ye are!”
“I doubt that very much,” I said testily. I resumed the task of pulling out the shards of glass, angry at having to care for myself. “Answer me this then,” I started, my mind racing with questions. “Was the vision something that happened in the past? Or do you interpret it as an omen of the future?”
He immediately brought his eyes to mine and his seemed angry, but even more, he looked hurt. “The past,” he spat the words out as if they burned him. “Ah would neva hurt ye, lass. Not now, not ever. Oonder nae circoomstances.” He paused for a second or two and just continued to glare at me. “An’ ye should know that.”
I did believe him, but I didn’t want to admit as much. I was still more than sure he was holding out on me. There were definitely more pieces to this puzzle than Tallis wanted me to believe. “But if it was in the past, that still doesn’t make any sense,” I argued. “You know as well as I do that I’m not part of your past!”
He nodded and then shook his head. “Ah’m aware. Ah cannae answer yer question for Ah dinnae have the answer. Mayhap ye were joost channelin’ someone else?”
“Channeling someone else?” I repeated skeptically. “Like I just randomly became psychic and opened myself up to some spirit and allowed it to speak through me?” He nodded even though I was obviously being facetious. I smiled without humor and shook my head to let him know I didn’t believe any of it for a second. “Then that’s it?” I asked as anger raged inside me. Now it was pretty obvious that he didn’t intend to volunteer anything. “That’s your story and you’re sticking to it?”
“Aye,” he answered with a curt nod.
“Well, I still don’t believe you,” I replied, shaking my head. “Even if you don’t understand why or how I was involved in the vision, I still believe you know more than you’re pretending to know.” He didn’t answer, but that didn’t mean I would let him off so easily. “Tallis, what I saw,” I started before I had to stop since I wasn’t sure exactly how to continue.
“Let oos leave it fer the time bein’,” he said as he glanced down at my hands again. “We need tae tend tae yer wounds.”
“I’m already tending to my wounds!” I snapped at him. Then I took a deep breath and returned to the subject at hand. “What I saw,” I started again. “Did it actually happen?” Then, thinking better of my question, I added, “With someone else?”
Tallis was quiet for a few seconds and his gaze seemed riveted on the corner of the floor, where it met the wall. He just stood there, staring at nothing for a few seconds. When his eyes finally met mine again, they were heavier somehow, looking almost haunted in their dark blue hues.
“Mah past is mah own,” he said with unbending reserve.
I figured that was as close to a “yes” as I could get, a fact that bothered me greatly. Just how sordid was Tallis’s past? But that question was only one more I would never know the answer to. Tallis made it his business to keep his past private. And I was more than aware that the more I prodded him, the more he’d slam his heels into the dirt. So, for now, it was better just to leave the puzzle unfinished. I would file the details in my head, along with all the other mysteries that involved Tallis Black. My only hope was that someday, the answers to all of these riddles would finally take shape, and maybe someday, I would fully understand the man standing before me.
Tallis and I turned to the sound of the front door opening as Bill said, “Look, nips, I know you’ll be pissed that we’re early, but I had ta emergency walk my ass back here ’cause I was at the point of shittin’ my pants!” He appeared in the doorway with Dee right behind him. “I couldn’t even run ’cause I was too scared I might shake it all out,” he finished as he walked inside, closing the door behind him. When he noticed I wasn’t alone, his eyebrows scrunched up in brief confusion followed by tacit disapproval. Then he sighed and shook his head, while his eyes still rested on Tallis. “Dude, you’re like a stage four clinger.”
“What happened?” Dee asked as she ventured closer to the kitchen. She had apparently taken stock of the broken glass all over the floor as well as the smeared blood. Bill was right behind her.
“You’ve finally done it!” he wailed at Tallis as he pushed past Dee, nearly toppling her over in the process. He walked right up to Tallis, who towered over him, but that didn’t stop Bill from glaring up at the much larger man. “You finally attempted to kill nerdlet, didn’t you?!”
“No, Bill, he didn’t!” I defended Tallis, amazed that Bill would ever think such a thing. But as I remembered seeing Tallis kill me, I wondered if maybe it wasn’t so far fetched, after all.
Bill was too busy shaking his head and puffing out his chest to hear me. “I knew it would come down to this! You were always after Pollyanna for somethin’, weren’tcha?” he ranted, poking his index finger into Tallis’s stomach. “Yeah, you thought you’d take the ol’ virgin out for a spin, only to make a quick sexit, didn’t you? Yeah, I know you did!” he railed, nodding all the while. “But once Gingerlicious was like fuck-to-the-hells-no! You ain’t ready for this jelly, you had to move to plan B! And plan B was all about the dinero, wasn’t it?”
“Bill,” I started, but he held his hand up to indicate he wasn’t finished. I should have known better; once Bill started one of his tirades, there was no stopping him.
“Yeah, it was!” he insisted as he started poking Tallis again. “You figured you found yourself a little nerd-do-well, an’ thought you could hijack all her funds! So you show up here in your jeans and your clean shirt, lookin’ all lumbersexual an’ when she doesn’t lay down an’ part her Red Sea, you decide you’re gonna off her!”
“Shut yer geggie!” Tallis shouted at the much smaller man. He grasped Bill’s index finger from his chest and shoved Bill backwards, nearly sending him careening into the wall.
“Leave my geggie the hell outta this!” Bill yelled back, throwing his hands on his pudgy hips as he righted himself.
“Yer off yer bleedin’ heid!” Tallis roared as he pointed to my hands. “Ye think Ah would try tae kill her by attackin’ her hands, ye bludy walloper!”
Bill was about to say something, but apparently thought better of it. Biting his lip, he glanced over at me, and more specifically, my hands, which I still held under the flow of the faucet. He studied me for a few seconds before he noticed all the broken glass littering the floor and shrugged. “Whatevs.” Then he started for the hallway that led to his bedroom. “I ain’t got time for this anyways; I gotta shit.”
“Lily, are you all right?” Dee asked as she carefully tiptoed over the broken glass and approached me, reaching for my hand so she could assess my wounds. From the corner of my eye, I saw Tallis looking for something to clean up the glass.
“There’s a dustbin and a broom in that closet,” I said while pointing to the closet in question. He didn’t say anything, but simply nodded. “And I’m going to be fine, Dee,” I said, smiling reassuringly.
“Let me help you,” she offered, taking my right hand as she started pulling the shards of glass f
ree from my skin. I winced a little and she gave me a smile of consolation. “This is going to hurt a bit.”
“It’s okay,” I said as I reached for a paper towel to help staunch the flow of blood.
“Sorry for the bro paux, dude,” Bill apologized to Tallis once he appeared in the hallway a few minutes later. “I just saw all the blood an’ figured you finally had your fill o’ Gidget.”
Tallis glanced over his shoulder at Bill as he continued to sweep. One of his eyebrows was raised, although he didn’t say anything. Bill walked around the couch before throwing himself onto it and propping his feet on the ottoman. Then he glanced back at Tallis over his shoulder.
“And, dude, you should lose the outfit. You look freakin’ weird.”
Before Tallis could answer, not that I was so sure Tallis would answer, my phone started buzzing from the table beside the couch, announcing an incoming text.
“Bill, can you see who that is?” I asked.
“Dude, can’t a man ever get any leisure time around this damn place without you needin’ somethin’ all the time? Bill, can you do this? Bill, can you do that?” he mimicked me in a high-pitched voice that sounded nothing like me. Reaching for my phone, he flipped it open as he unlocked it.
“Who is it?” I asked, not bothering to address his previous comments.
“Ah, fuck,” he muttered with a heartfelt sigh. “Just when I thought we could get us some freakin’ downtime.”
“What?” I asked as my heartbeat started to increase. “Who is it?”
“Skeletorhorn with our next mission,” Bill answered with another sigh. “Looks like we’re gonna be technocampin’ in the freakin’ Dark Wood again. That means no e-mail, no texts, no match-dot-com, and no freakin’ high speed downloadin’ off porn hub.”
I felt my stomach drop down to the floor as a sense of foreboding washed over me. “Where is this mission taking us?” I asked in a hollow voice.
“To level six,” Bill answered, shaking his head. “The graveyard.”
“Round me he gazed…”
- Dante’s Inferno
TWELVE
After four long, arduous days of traveling through the Dark Wood, we arrived at the gates of the Underground City with heavy hearts. We left Dee back home because this wasn’t her mission and she was more than happy to play the part of house sitter.
As far as our trip through the Dark Wood was concerned, it was not without incident. In this case, the incident reared its ugly head in the shape of two man-creatures created by Alaire to patrol the haunted forest. Like their predecessor, “Fugly Number One” (as Bill had affectionately termed him), both of these beasts appeared faintly human. They walked on two legs, possessed two arms and a single head with two eyes and one mouth, and both were sans fur. But that was really where any similarities to humans ended.
The first creature we encountered this time around was far more humanlike than “Fugly Number One.” This creature, whom we titled “Fugly Number Two,” clearly possessed human skin, although it was striated with prominent red veins as well as rough, pink patches that persisted all over its body. It looked like it suffered from psoriasis. Its eyes were white and bloodshot, and its pupils were just as white, making it appear blind. But it was not. In fact, it seemed to have uncanny night vision, leaping from tree to tree like a flying squirrel. Its mouth had only a bottom row of five teeth, which were terribly overgrown, misshapened and appeared very sharp. And bloody. By the time we encountered it, it had gorged itself on an unlucky passerby. We found the body not too far from the hideous creature, torn to shreds.
Fortunately, Tallis prevented me from viewing the carnage and swiftly buried the unfortunate Retriever in an unmarked grave. Of course, he first dispatched the hideous predator by severing its head with a single slice of his broadsword.
The next creature that we met along our journey was much larger than either Fugly Number One or Two. Fugly Number Three probably reached eight feet tall and was the least humanlike of all three “Fuglies.” Its body was hairless too, but its skin was leathery in appearance and blotchy. The texture resembled snakeskin. This abomination was ultra-muscular and its hands and feet terminated in sharp talons. Its repugnant face had a turned-up snout, and beady, little eyes that were too close together and glowed an unnatural green. Like lime Jell-O green. Its mouth was simply comprised of two enormous fangs that ascended from the bottom of its jaw, giving it an underbite to end all underbites. Its chin was covered with coarse, white hairs that looked like a scruffy beard. Stranger still, it sported a gold hoop earring in one of its flap-like ears.
Luckily for all of us, directly after our encounter with Fugly Number Two, I was far more prepared. I quickly slipped my whistle around my neck so I could rely on it if the need arose. As soon as Fugly Number Three appeared, I wasted no time in blowing my whistle. Not once, but five times! After the first high-pitched shriek from the whistle, however, the creature immediately turned around and hightailed it back into the haunted forest from whence it came. It didn’t even bother to glance back at us. I had to hand it to Alaire for training his monsters well.
“According to Dante,” Bill started as he glanced down at The Inferno, which he held in his grubby hands, “in order to reach the graveyard, we gotta go via the City of Dis. It’s s’posed to be some kinda sub-city of the Underground City.”
“Aye,” Tallis answered with a brief nod. Meanwhile, I fished through my backpack for the skeleton key that we needed for entry into the gates of the Underground City.
“The City of Dis,” Bill repeated while playing his fingers against his chin like a piano. “I wonder what the hell that stands for?” He was quiet for a few seconds as he ostensibly pondered the question. “The City of Dis … cord? Dis … gust? Dis … grace?” He beamed a broad grin as if his vocabulary were impressive.
“Disembowelment,” Tallis responded with a hearty chuckle.
“The City of Disembowelment?” Bill asked as he frowned at the bladesmith. “Really? Are you shittin’ me? That’s what it really stands for?”
“Nae,” Tallis answered, shaking his head with a rare smile. “Ah’m joost playin’ yer game with ye.”
“Oh, cool story, bro,” Bill replied with a genuine grin. Nodding enthusiastically, he glanced up and to the right like he did whenever he was “deep in thought.” A few seconds later, another wide smile illuminated his round face. “Dis … grace,” he said to Tallis, holding his palm out as Tallis high-fived him. Then Bill pretended like his hand exploded and even added a “Boom!”
“Aye, guid one,” Tallis answered with a nod. “Dis … embodied.”
“On point, Bladesmith, on point,” Bill said with a wink and another encouraging nod. “Dis … turb!”
“Och aye!” Tallis replied heartily. He seemed as caught up in this idiotic game as Bill was. “Dis … locate!”
“Dude, yours all describe fuckin’ people up,” Bill noted as Tallis faced him blankly.
“Aye?”
Bill’s smiled broadened. “Right on, man, it’s like dis … turbing!” Then he whispered to himself, “Fuck, yeah! Billy-my-man, you’re like en fuego with this shit!”
“Dis … membered!” Tallis chimed with a rumbling chuckle.
“Okay, guys,” I started, holding my hands up in mock surrender. “I can’t deal with this idiocy anymore.” But neither one of them even spared me a glance. Instead, they faced each other like they were long lost lovers, or something worse.
“Dude, Tido, you’re like super good at this shit!” Bill continued, giving Tallis another high five, not an easy task, given the huge disparity in Bill’s height compared to Tallis’s. “If me an’ you are ever on a dick date, playin’ Scrabble, you’re totally on my team!”
“Aye, Stookie Angel, aye …” Tallis answered with a brief nod before growing quiet for a couple of seconds. When he spoke again, his voice was louder and his smile was wider. “Dis … figured!”
“Enough!” I railed with an angry expression a
s I threw my hands on my hips. “I have one word for you both: dis … engage!”
Bill glanced at me with a frown before facing Tallis again and pointing at me indifferently with his thumb. “Dude … such dis … respect.”
“I can’t deal with anymore of this crap!” I continued, my tone of voice rising. “We are wasting time! We still have a mission to complete. That means we need to get in and out of the Underground City ASAP! In order to do that, I need you both to pay full attention!”
Bill faced Tallis with another smile. “Dis … couraging!”
“You’re lucky you’re an angel and I can’t kill you,” I muttered, shaking my head. I pushed the skeleton key into the lock on one of the enormous gates and cranked it to the right. When I didn’t hear a click, I cranked it all the way to the left. Then I pushed on it before the ancient gate creaked a horrible, tinny, grating sound as I heaved it open.
Tallis was the first to walk inside the Underground City. He grasped the iron bars of the gate and continued to push it open, holding it wider for Bill, who was right behind him. I, on the other hand, couldn’t afford to be as swift. Owing to my “innocence and purity,” I couldn’t just set foot into the Underground like Tallis and Bill. Instead, I had to pollute myself. Otherwise, I would be doomed to die a most painful death upon entering the city’s walls.
There were various ways to pollute myself, but I was only concerned with one at the moment—the vial of liquid given to me by Alaire. Per his instructions, the vial’s liquid would allow me to continue living while traveling in the Underground City. The one stipulation? The liquid inside the vial would only work when in very close proximity to The Underground City. That meant I had to be within a few feet of the Underground when I swallowed it. So there went any planning ahead on my part.
“Hurry it up!” Bill called to me from the other side of the gates. “Don’t make us wait too long, or we might get dis … tracted!” he finished. With a loud chuckle, Bill started to elbow the bladesmith in the ribs, but Tallis merely sidestepped him, thwarting his feeble attempt.