“Thanks,” Hudson said, relieved. “And happy birthday.”
“Hey, can I ask you something?” Ellie said in a low voice. “Ben just told me you’re really into astrology.”
“A little, yeah.”
Ellie leaned closer, practically whispering. “Could you find out if me and this guy are compatible?” She nodded her head at Logan, who was walking toward them with his saxophone case.
“Him?” Hudson pointed. “Logan?”
“We sort of hooked up last weekend,” Ellie admitted. “And I think he likes me. But I can’t really tell. I can give you his birthday, though, and maybe you can tell me!”
“Uh… uh, sure,” Hudson said.
“Awesome,” Ellie said, getting distracted by a group of people walking into her house. “Have fun!”
She wandered off to greet the newcomers. Almost before Hudson could absorb this, Logan sat down next to her and opened his sax case. Hudson cast him a sidelong glance. If what Ellie had told her was true, and Hudson had the definite feeling it was, then she needed to figure out what to do about Hillary’s unrequited crush.
Logan still seemed intent on ignoring her as he put his saxophone together.
“Do we have a set list yet?” she asked him, in a super-friendly voice.
Logan shrugged. “I guess we’re just playing whatever you and Ben want,” he muttered.
“No, we’re not,” Hudson said, confused. “I think we all should talk about it. Together.”
“Yeah, just like we all talked about changing the name of the band,” he said sarcastically, snapping the pieces of his sax into place. “Together.”
“Wait. It’s not changed. It was just an idea we had. Who told you that? Ben?”
“Whatever,” Logan said under his breath. He slipped the sax onto its stand and walked away.
“Logan!” Hudson yelled, but he didn’t turn around. She watched him pick his way through the crowd and disappear toward the kitchen.
She sat on the piano bench, glancing at the crowd to see if anyone had just overheard their fight. This band thing didn’t feel right anymore. She felt like an intruder. She’d unwittingly caused a whole slew of problems just by showing up. I should leave, she thought. I can’t deal with this guy not liking me.
But then she remembered: That had been one of her fears, something she’d written down on Hillary’s list. Not being liked. And here it was, happening right now.
Just as she was about to go find the bathroom and take a time-out for a moment, she saw Lizzie and Carina and Todd and Alex wading through the crowd. She’d never been so glad to see them before. She ran over to them.
“Hey, guys!” she said.
“Hey!” Lizzie said brightly.
“We just walked right in!” Carina exclaimed. “There wasn’t even a list or anything!”
Hudson had noticed that, too. In the city, the news of a party always spread dangerously fast. It wasn’t rare to see the doormen of the buildings on Park Avenue holding guest lists and checking off names as they let people through to the elevator.
Alex checked out the crowd, tapping his feet to the music. “Nice playlist,” he said. “But where’s everyone supposed to dance? There’s furniture everywhere.”
“What’s wrong, Hudson?” Todd asked, looking at her with his alarmingly blue eyes. “You look a little freaked out.”
“Oh, nothing,” she said, embarrassed. “I think this one guy in the band is a little bit mad at me.”
“What for?” asked Carina.
“I kind of suggested we change our name.”
“What is it now?” asked Todd.
“The Stone Cold Freaks.”
“Oh, yeah,” Alex asserted. “Definitely. Not even a question.”
Ben and Ellie walked toward them, and Hudson waved for them to join. “Hey, you guys, meet my friends. This is Lizzie, Carina, Todd, and Alex. Everyone, this is Ben Geyer and Ellie Kim. Ellie’s the one having the party.”
After everyone said hi and spoke for a while, Ben pulled Hudson aside. “I think we better start. But I can’t find Logan anywhere. Hey, Gordie!” Ben pulled Gordie over as he walked by. “Where’s Logan?”
“Haven’t seen him.” Gordie shrugged.
“I think he’s mad at me,” Hudson said. “You told him about the new name for the band, right?”
“Just for a second,” Ben said. “I didn’t tell him it was a done deal or anything.”
“Let’s try to find him,” said Hudson, leading the way to the kitchen. Ben followed.
They looked everywhere. He wasn’t in the kitchen or the dining room, or out on the back patio, where a group of kids hung out in the cold. Finally they spotted him in the laundry room, talking with a small group of people. “Can I talk to you for a second?” Hudson asked. She looked back at Ben and Gordie. “Alone, if you guys don’t mind.”
“No problem,” Ben said, and he and Gordie retreated.
“What?” Logan asked, his eyes narrowed. The group of people he’d been hanging out with quietly walked back into the kitchen.
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry if you feel like I’ve come in and turned things around, because I haven’t,” she said. “Maybe Ben did speak a little too soon at the bar mitzvah, about having me be the lead singer, but then he gave you guys a chance to talk it out. And this whole thing with changing the band name—that was just something I mentioned to Ben for, like, two seconds. It’s not a done deal.”
Logan looked past her, fidgeting to get away.
“I know there’s nothing I can do to make you like me,” she went on, “and I really don’t care if you do or not. But what I do care about is this band. And I don’t want there to be drama before it’s even started.”
She had no idea where these words were coming from. This wasn’t how she usually talked, and she’d never spoken to anyone like this before. Logan darted his eyes around the room, as if he were physically unable to make eye contact. And then he said, “Forget it. There’s no drama. Are we going on now?”
“Uh, yeah,” Hudson said. “Let’s go.”
They walked back into the kitchen, where Ben and Gordie waited for them beside the four-layer dip. “We’re ready,” she said simply, and the four of them walked back to the living room.
“What’s going on?” Carina asked, brushing her blond hair back behind her ear.
“Just a little band drama,” Hudson said, smiling. “Wish me luck.”
“Break a leg, Hudson,” Lizzie said, then leaned her head on Todd’s shoulder. She looked like she was blissfully in love.
Hudson walked over to the piano. A few feet away, Gordie snapped his high-hat cymbal on above the snare.
“I say we start with the song you wrote, Hudson,” Ben said. “Then ‘My Baby Just Cares for Me,’ ‘Fly Me to the Moon,’ and ‘Feeling Good.’ ”
Hudson nodded and sat down at the piano.
Ellie called everyone into the living room. “Okay, you guys!” she yelled. “Here we go… the moment we’ve all been waiting for! May I present… well… Ben’s jazz band! Take it away, guys!”
Hudson felt her heart leap into double-time as people quieted down. You can’t freak out now, she thought. Not now. Her hands shook, but she still found the opening chords.
Nobody knows you here, she told herself. Nobody expects you to be good.
She started to play. After a few moments, she slipped into her music trance. Soon Ben joined her on his bass, then Gordie. And when she got to the bridge, and Logan started to play, he actually restrained himself. She didn’t dare look up from the keys as she sang, but it didn’t matter. Her voice was strong and elastic, hitting every note. And somehow, her talk with Logan in the laundry room had only filled her with more confidence.
When she reached the last chord, there was a moment of silence. And then the room broke into applause.
Hudson glanced back at the rest of the band and then, awkwardly, they all rose from their seats and took a small bow. This is me,
Hudson thought, bowing. This is what I’m good at. Like it or not.
“Woo-hoo!” some guys called out.
The twins Hudson recognized from rehearsal jumped up and down.
“Hudson!” Carina called out. “We love you!”
At the end of their set, after they’d played four more songs and rocked every one of them, the Rising Signs, or whatever they were called, linked arms and took their final bows. Hudson locked eyes with Ben over Gordie’s and Logan’s heads and they traded an ecstatic smile. Their first official gig hadn’t just been good. It had been great.
chapter 20
By the time they got off the “stage,” it was almost time for Hudson and her friends to get in Carina’s car and go back to the city. But Hudson wanted to linger just a little bit longer—especially because Ben and Ellie’s friends kept coming up to her and telling her how much they’d loved the set.
“You have a really pretty voice,” one girl said sweetly. “It’s really strong.”
“Where do you go to school?” asked another. “Do you live up here?”
“Hudson goes to Chadwick, in the city,” said Ellie, who was now standing right next to Hudson in an almost proprietary way.
“Do you want to sing for a living?” asked one of the twins, who’d sidled up beside them.
“I don’t know,” Hudson said. “I think so.”
“When’s your next show?” Ellie asked excitedly. “Oh, and Hudson, could you take a picture with me and my friends?” she asked, handing her iPhone to one of the twins.
Hudson looked at the camera. Getting her picture taken—and having it possibly be posted on someone’s Facebook page, where a tabloid could find it—just wasn’t worth the risk. “I can’t. I look awful,” she fibbed.
Luckily, Carina and Alex rushed over before Ellie could react. “You were amazing, H!” Carina said. “Just amazing!”
“When’s your next show?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know,” Hudson admitted. “I don’t think we have one booked yet.”
“H, I think we gotta get back,” Carina said. “My dad’ll have a conniption if I get home after midnight.”
“Okay. There’s just one thing I still have to do,” Hudson said, turning to look at Logan, who was talking with Ben and Gordie. She’d made a promise to Hillary, and she couldn’t leave without at least trying to get some information for her.
“Hey, guys,” Hudson said, approaching them. “Great show tonight.”
“Everyone’s asking when we’re playing next,” Gordie said, walking up to them. “What are we thinking?”
“I think I might be able to swing something at the Olive Garden,” said Logan. “They sometimes do live entertainment.”
“Um, Logan?” Hudson asked. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”
Logan ran a hand through his blond hair and glanced quickly at Ben.
“It’s about something else,” Hudson said. “Not the name of the band.”
“Fine,” he said.
She pulled him over toward the piano. “Um, so you know Ben’s cousin, Hillary, right?”
“Yeah,” he said, already looking both wary and confused.
“So, um… she’s a really cool girl. And, well, I think you guys would, um…” Oh, God, this is awful, she thought. Just say it. “What do you think of her? Do you like her?”
Logan looked at her like she’d suddenly sprouted a third head.
“Because, um, I think, well…” she hedged.
Logan folded his arms. “No,” he said. “And please tell her to stop calling me.”
He stalked off, leaving Hudson in shocked silence. Oh, Hillary, she thought. This guy is such a jerk. He doesn’t deserve you.
Later, as Max, Carina’s driver, drove them back to the city, Hudson tried to erase Logan’s comment from her mind. She had no idea how she was going to tell Hillary about this. The old Hudson would have just decided not to tell her at all. But now Hudson wondered if it was such a good idea to spare Hillary’s feelings.
“So when do you guys think you’ll do another show?” Lizzie asked, holding Todd’s hand in the backseat.
“I’m not sure, but someone mentioned the Olive Garden,” Hudson said.
“You guys should play at Violet’s,” said Alex.
“Violet’s?” Hudson asked. “How would we even get in there?” Violet’s was a legendary music club in the East Village. It had been around for at least thirty years and everyone from Blondie to the Ramones had graced its small, dingy stage.
“This guy I work with at Kim’s Video knows the booker,” Alex said. “I’ll have him talk you guys up. But if you put some songs on MySpace, then I think you have more than a shot at it.”
“Really?” Hudson squealed. “You really think we have a chance?”
“If you’re okay with being the opening-opening act,” Alex said.
“C?” Hudson asked. “Can I hug your boyfriend?”
“Go ahead,” Carina said.
Hudson leaned over her to Alex and hugged him. “Thank you!” she exclaimed.
“Well, don’t thank me yet,” Alex warned. “Let me talk to the guy first.”
Hudson leaned her head on Carina’s shoulder as they drove across the Triborough Bridge. In the distance the skyline of New York twinkled and glittered in the cold night. This was all so unreal. Everything was falling into place. Maybe the Rising Signs—because that’s what they were to her now—actually had a shot at Joe’s Pub, after all.
At eleven thirty, Carina’s car pulled up to Hudson’s house. “Here you go, Hudson,” Max said in his gruff voice. “Last but not least. Have a good night.”
Hudson scooted out of the backseat. “Thanks, Max.”
He waited while she unlocked the front door and slipped inside. The lights were still bright in the kitchen, but from the relaxed, hushed feeling inside the house Hudson knew that her mom was still out. She waved to Raquel, who sat at the kitchen table by herself eating her dinner, and walked up the stairs. As she headed to her room, her iPhone dinged with a text. She pulled it out of her bag. It was from Carina.
Sorry in advance but thought you’d want to see this.
And then there was a link.
She hurried into her room, and clicked on the link.
It took only a second. Soon she was staring at the garish purple and yellow home page of a celebrity gossip site. And there was the headline, lurid and underlined and not at all surprising:
HOLLA’S GORGEOUS NEW GUY
Underneath it was a photo of her mom and Chris on a red carpet earlier that night. Holla stood next to Chris, her toned arm encircling his waist. Chris’s blue eyes squinted at the camera in a sexy way as he pulled Holla in close to him. Hudson stared at the image for a moment. Up until now, their relationship had been something that existed only in her mind, a gross and annoying story to tell her friends. But now it was real. And it hurt, even though she knew that she and Chris would never have had a future.
She texted Carina back:
Looks like he might be my stepfather after all. Taking bets now.
Then she went to signsnscopes.com—now would be a good time to check her horoscope, she thought. But just before the page opened she closed her laptop. She thought of the car ride home with Alex, and Violet’s, and how maybe she and the Rising Signs had a possible future after all. Whatever the future held for her, whatever was headed her way, maybe it was time to just let it surprise her.
chapter 21
The next morning her alarm went off at eight, but Hudson turned it off. The idea of running downstairs for yoga class seemed a little ridiculous. And ever since their fight in the studio, Hudson had been doing her best to stick to her room whenever Holla was home. So she closed her eyes and drifted pleasantly back to sleep. At ten, she opened her eyes with a start. She’d never, ever slept this late on a Saturday morning, except when she was sick. She jumped out of bed and got dressed.
When she got to the kitchen, Lorraine was washing her hands
and Raquel was folding towels. “You’re just getting up?” Lorraine asked. “Are you sick?”
“No, just tired,” Hudson said, opening the fridge. “Do we have any bacon?” she asked.
Lorraine and Raquel both stopped what they were doing and looked at her. “Bacon?” Lorraine asked in disbelief.
“That’s okay,” Hudson replied. She opened the refrigerator and took out a quart of fresh-squeezed orange juice. “I was just in the mood for it.”
Hudson poured herself a glass of juice and then made herself a bowl of oatmeal topped with berries. Then she walked over to the neat pile of daily newspapers and chose the New York Post. Holla mostly tuned the tabloids out, not bothering to read them or surf them or even acknowledge them. The New York Post was her one exception. It was in the kitchen every morning, stacked right next to the Times and the Wall Street Journal and Women’s Wear Daily. Hudson wasn’t sure why the New York Post was okay when all the other ones weren’t, but then again, her mom was full of contradictions.
“Well, someone’s finally up,” Holla said as she glided into the kitchen in her workout clothes. Tendrils of sweat-soaked hair curled around her face. “Lorraine? Niva would love an açai smoothie before she leaves.”
“Coming right up,” Lorraine said, going straight to the blender.
Holla wandered over to the kitchen table. Hudson kept her eyes on her newspaper. “So what’s wrong with you?” Holla asked. “Why’d you miss yoga?”
“I was just tired. I didn’t think you’d really miss me.”
Hudson looked up to see her mom peering at her. Hudson could see that she was trying to keep her patience. “What play did you see last night?”
“Play?” Hudson asked, unsure what her mom was talking about.
“Didn’t you see a play last night, with Jenny?” Holla asked, puzzled.
“Oh, yeah,” Hudson answered confidently. “American Idiot.”
Holla seemed to expect more of an answer. “Did you like it?”