“I don’t need to walk this boardwalk with my hand in yours to know we’ll last forever, Liv. I know we’ll last forever because I’m never letting you go.”
“Nate,” I whispered, my eyes stinging with tears. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’m right here,” he promised me, and bent his head to brush the sweetest kiss across my lips.
Our lips tingling with the promise, Nate led me back down the boardwalk where we discovered the ice cream shack, a surf shop, and then Antonio’s, the Italian restaurant Bailey had mentioned. She said it was owned by her good friends Iris and Ira. Just down from Antonio’s was the largest building on the boards. It was a modern white building with lots of glass. Paradise Sands Hotel and Conference Center. There were no neon signs in sight.
“Bailey’s fiancé’s hotel,” I said as we stopped outside of it.
“I thought about booking here,” Nate said. “The rooms are cracking and the sea views are brilliant, but I thought you’d appreciate the inn more.”
“I do,” I assured him. “It’s like a home away from home. Less impersonal than a hotel.”
“Good.”
The hotel was neighbor to another one of Bailey’s friend’s businesses. The bar Cooper’s did have a neon sign because it looked like that kind of place. Bailey said it was the most popular bar in town. It was the boardwalk, apparently. And Cooper was married to her good friend, Jessica, who happened to be a local doctor.
The bar owner and the doctor. It was a little surprising. I liked it. And thought maybe I should tell Joss about it when I found out more. She liked writing romantic subplots with characters who didn’t seem right for each other but turned out to be just what they needed.
I lived for Joss’s romantic subplots, but not nearly so much as Grace and Shannon did. Those two were huge J. B. Carmichael fans.
And just as I was thinking about books we discovered Emery’s Bookstore & Coffeehouse. Emery was another of Bailey’s good friends. I was thinking Bailey was friends with everyone. She seemed like that kind of woman.
“We have to go in,” I said to Nate. “Let’s get a coffee and just soak in the books.”
“Okay, Library Nerd,” he said with a mock long-suffering sigh.
“You know you want coffee.” I led him inside and immediately decided screw the beach, we were spending the rest of our vacation here.
There was a large counter with several coffee machines behind it. To our right was the bookstore. Up a few steps in front of where we stood was a seating area filled with little white tables and chairs as well as a scattering of comfortable armchairs and sofas situated near a fireplace.
There were a few customers here already, sitting at the tables, drinking coffee, some reading, others talking quietly. I glanced around the bookstore with its white-painted bookshelves and hodgepodge of comfortable seating. A few Tiffany lamps were set here and there, adding warmth and color. All the woodwork in the store was painted white and it contrasted beautifully with the rich teal blue of the walls.
A woman stepped out from behind the book stacks to our right, and startled at the sight of us. She immediately got over it and offered us a shy smile. “The bell over my door broke. I didn’t you hear you come in. Coffee?”
“Aye, please.” Nate nodded and we followed her over to the counter.
Her startling pale blue eyes assessed Nate for a second and then her cheeks flushed. “You’re not from around here.”
“Scotland,” he replied.
Those beautiful eyes of hers flew to me. “Long trip?”
“Quite. We’re staying at Hart’s Inn.”
“I’m sure Bailey is taking good care of you.” She was soft-spoken and definitely came off shy. I had no idea what she had to be shy about.
She was tall and willowy, with beautiful eyes and a heart-shaped face. She wore her long white-blond hair in an intricate plait that rested over her right shoulder. Wisps of hair framed her lovely face. For a moment I couldn’t figure out who she reminded me of, and then it came to me. My girls had been like most kids and were obsessed with Disney’s Frozen for a while.
“I’m Emery,” she said as she stepped behind the counter. “What can I get you?”
Emery looked like the live version of Elsa from Frozen.
“What do you want, babe?” Nate asked me, jolting me from my musings.
“Caramel latte.”
My husband ordered an Americano, and as we waited I decided to indulge my curiosity. “Have you lived here all your life?”
Emery glanced over her shoulder at me. “No. I bought this place almost nine years ago.”
“Well, I love it. I run a university library back home so . . . books are my thing.”
She grinned, totally getting me. “That’s cool.”
“Not just any library,” Nate felt the need to pipe up. “The University of Edinburgh library.”
Emery blushed again for some bizarre reason, her gaze quickly flying from Nate to me. “That’s amazing.”
I nudged my husband. “Stop making me sound cooler than I am.”
He grinned at me. “No one said anything about you being cool, babe.”
“You’re funny.”
“I know I am.”
Rolling my eyes at his teasing, I looked back at the shop owner as she turned around with our coffees and popped them on the counter for us.
“Are you married?” I asked before she could tell us how much we owed.
She avoided my gaze, blushing again, and shook her head. “No.”
“That’s smart. Stay that way.” I gave my husband a pointed look, but he just grinned smugly at me.
“Like you could live without me,” he said and then turned to Emery. “How much do we owe?”
Once we paid, we thanked the woman and I dragged Nate into the bookstore area of the shop with me. He wanted to sit and enjoy his coffee instead. “You sprang this whole vacation on me so I didn’t have a chance to bring my e-reader or a paperback. I’ll need reading material for lazing on the beach.”
“Actually, that’s not a bad idea.”
In the end we both bought a couple of books, and Emery’s whole face lit up at the sale.
“Have a great vacation!” she called as we walked out, seeming a little less shy than she had been a few minutes before.
Huh.
“She’s a mystery,” I said as we strolled down the boardwalk. The sun was stronger now, beating down warm on my skin. I shrugged out of my cardigan and tied it around my waist as Nate held my coffee and books for me.
“What do you mean?” he said as he handed my stuff back to me.
“Emery. She’s a mystery. She’s beautiful, you had to notice she was beautiful.”
“I don’t notice these things when I’m with you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Liar.”
He laughed. “Okay, so she was beautiful, so what?”
“She blushed anytime you spoke to her.”
“I have that effect on women.”
That was somewhat true. It was those damn dimples of his when he smiled! But I wasn’t telling him that. So instead I snorted. “Okay. Well, she didn’t blush talking to me. Which means that she’s either shy with good looking men or just men, period. I mean, I got the impression she was kind of shy anyway, but definitely more so with you.”
“Beautiful women are allowed to be shy, Liv.”
“I know that. Kind of. I just . . . If I looked like her, I would have jumped you as soon as you first smiled at me, way back when we met. People are a surprise with all their insecurities.” It always shocked me when people I considered amazingly attractive told me about their body hang-ups or issues.
“Well, she may be beautiful, babe, but . . .” Nate wrapped his free arm around my waist and drew me into his side. His hand slid down over my ass, as hi
s gaze grew heated. “She’s not you. I love your curves, and the way those gorgeous eyes of yours turn to liquid gold when you come.”
Arousal flipped in my belly at his words, and my nipples pebbled against the bikini bra under my dress. “You have quite the way with words, Mr. Sawyer,” I whispered, staring greedily at his mouth.
“If you don’t stop staring at my mouth like that I’m going to break and fuck you before tomorrow night.”
“Then stop saying stuff that gets me hot!” I wrenched away from his hold. “It goes both ways.”
“I can’t help myself.” He smiled, the heated look in his eyes turning tender. “I’ve never been able to help myself when it comes to you.”
“Oh my God, Nate.” I huffed. “You know the romantic stuff gets me just as hot as the sexy stuff. Asshole.” I strode away, rattling with sexual frustration.
“I love you, too!” he called out to me in clear amusement.
I stuck my middle finger in the air, not caring about the other tourists, and grinned when I heard Nate howl with wicked laughter.
Chapter Eight
After Nate kissed the snit right out of me and got us even more hot and bothered, we spent the day on the beach. We rented sun loungers with a table and parasol in between them, and spent the day lazing it away.
When we knew the kids would be back from school, we Skyped with them on our phones, glad to see they weren’t missing us too much, and instead were having fun with Nathan and Sylvie.
“It looks so sunny there.” Lily did pout, however.
“It is, baby girls.” I turned the phone so they could see the ocean.
“Aww, it’s so pretty.”
I turned the camera back around. “I miss you.”
“Nana made chocolate chip muffins,” Jan said in answer.
Meaning they weren’t missing me so much.
Nate snorted beside me and I nudged him with my elbow. “I’m jealous.” Sylvie’s baking skills were pretty legendary.
“Right, girls, time for judo.” Sylvie appeared on the screen and waved at us. “Sorry, darlings, but I’ve got to get them to their judo class.”
“Of course.”
We said our good-byes and a thousand love yous and got off the phone. I pouted like my eleven-year-old. “I miss them.”
Nate grinned. “Me too. But it’s only been a day.”
“I know.”
We settled back on our loungers and I’d just picked up the book I was reading when Nate said, “Would you rather be able to see into your own future or the future of everyone you love?”
I placed my book on my chest and turned to look at him through the dark lenses of my sunglasses. He was propped up on his elbow, looking at me. I mirrored him, turning toward him. “What made you think of that one?”
“I’m reading a sci-fi about a cognitive.” He gestured to the book.
“Ah. Well, okay then. I guess I choose my own future.”
“Why?”
“Because if there’s something bad in my own future, I could handle that. Not the future of the people I love. For instance, I couldn’t handle knowing when you were going to die. That would be a living nightmare.”
Nate immediately flipped onto his back and picked up at his book.
He didn’t say another word.
Or tell me his choice.
At his cold abruptness, I was quietly stunned for a moment, just watching him read. And then I got annoyed. “What the hell just happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh, something happened.” I sat up. “What happened?”
“It was a stupid question. Morbid answers and all that.” He tried to wave it off, but I wasn’t for it.
“My answer disturbed you for some reason.”
“It didn’t.” He put his book down and got up off the lounger. I sat, stunned, as he pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’m heading into the water for a swim.”
I watched him, my insides all twisted, as he strode, strong, healthy, and fit toward the ocean. My eyes lingered over the tourists, wondering if any of the women were watching him from beneath their sunglasses, and knowing they probably were.
I got up, tying my sarong around my waist, because I wasn’t confident enough to walk around in just my bikini, and I wandered down the beach toward the water to watch him as he dove in and began to swim.
Thinking over my answer to our usually fun Would You Rather questions, I could only assume his weirdness was because I mentioned him dying. I hadn’t been lying either. I would rather know when I was going to leave this earth than know when Nate would. The idea of losing him was crippling, but I didn’t linger over the thought. Life was too short.
But did Nate linger on the thought of death?
Peetie’s passing had left an indelible mark on my husband, and I wished like hell he would just talk to me about his feelings.
I waited for him, deciding we were going to talk about this as soon as he emerged from the ocean, but I didn’t get the chance. Nate swam back until he could touch his feet to shore and my breath caught, watching him as he walked out of the water with droplets glistening all over his tanned skin. My mouth went dry at the thought of launching myself at him right there and then. It momentarily distracted me from my purpose, and then my husband distracted me further when he reached me, grinning at me with those damn dimples.
He grabbed the knot on my sarong and pulled it loose.
“What are you doing?” I tried to stop him, but he whipped the thing off me before I could resist.
“I want to see you. Stop hiding.”
Feeling that prickle of self-consciousness come over me as I stood there in my bikini, I glowered at him. “I’m more comfortable with it on.”
“You’re gorgeous.” He pulled me toward him and I stumbled in the sand, falling into his hard chest. “You have the sexiest, longest fucking legs on the planet. Why would you hide them?”
Warmth suffused me as I trailed my fingertips over his muscular chest. “I won’t then.”
“Good.” He kissed me softly and then whispered against my lips, “I can’t wait to have them wrapped around me tomorrow night. I’m going to fuck you so hard, Olivia Sawyer, you’ll never rid yourself of the sensation of having my cock inside of you.”
I trembled as his callused hands drifted over my naked back. “You’re doing this deliberately.”
“You want to be tormented with want, don’t you?” he said, his voice hoarse with sex. “I’m just obliging you.”
“Well, I’m wet,” I answered abruptly.
His fingers dug into my back. “I can’t make it to tomorrow, Liv.”
“Yes, you can,” I replied, even though I wasn’t sure I could.
“Fuck,” he bit out.
My eyes widened behind my sunglasses. “What? What is it?”
“I just realized something.”
“What?”
He bent his head toward me, his arms binding tight around me so my boobs were pressed to his chest. “We’ve been married for ten years, together for fourteen.”
“Yeah?”
“And I want you just as much now as I did then. Who in the hell ever heard of that?”
I melted against him. “We’re pretty lucky.”
“No.” He shook his head, pressing his hand on my ass and nudging his hips against me so I could feel his erection rubbing against me. “You’re a witch. You’ve cursed my dick to only get hard for you.”
I laughed at his nonsense, even though my nipples were like hard pebbles and I hadn’t been lying when I said I was wet. I was slick between my legs. “You do know we’re on a public beach and there are people around.”
“Lucky for me there’s an ice-cold ocean at my back.” And quite abruptly he turned and hurried into it, diving back into the water.
It w
asn’t until later, when we were packing up to go back to the inn, that I realized he’d distracted me. I hadn’t asked him about falling back on his old behavior and putting more distance between us again. It bothered me that we could be so close in some ways, so in sync with everything else, including sex, but that there was still this one wall between us.
I wasn’t going to force conversation, I’d decided, as we walked hand in hand along the boardwalk with sand between our toes. We’d play our games, we’d fuck the frustration out, and when we’d bridged that distance, I’d start in on the emotional one.
* * *
* * *
“Hey, guys!”
Nate and I had just stepped out of Antonio’s, where we’d had delicious pizza, when we heard the familiar voice of Bailey Hartwell.
We looked to our left to find her walking toward us from the inn. She wore a olive silk camisole, skinny jeans, and flip-flops. For a moment I envied her her elegant, slender physique, and then I remembered the heat in Nate’s eyes while he watched me as I tortured him by showering with the bathroom door open that afternoon.
It was time to get over myself and my body hang-ups before it became a problem. I didn’t want my girls to have the same self-esteem issues I had, so I needed to curtail my negative thoughts about my own body.
“It’s my night off so I’m heading to Cooper’s. Do you guys want to join me? Please feel free to say no. I don’t want to interrupt a romantic evening.”
I was practically coming out of my skin for want of my husband, and I think his feelings were pretty near the surface, too. We’d barely spoken a word at dinner.
Okay, so we were choking on the sexual tension.
“Sounds good,” I said, and Nate nodded in agreement.
“Awesome.” Bailey gave us her glamorous smile. “Jess and Vaughn are coming. Dahlia won’t be there. She . . .” Bailey frowned. “She’s visiting family in Boston.”
Cooper’s was already quite busy by the time we got there. The bar had a traditional décor with dark walnut wood everywhere—the long bar, the tables and chairs, even the floor. Three large brass chandeliers broke up the darkness, while wall-mounted green library lamps along the back wall gave the booths there a cozy, almost romantic vibe. There was a small stage near the front door, and just across from the booths were three stairs that led up onto a raised dais where two pool tables sat. Two huge flat-screen televisions, one above the bar and one above the pool tables, made me think it was part sports bar.