“True,” said Domenica. “You’re very perceptive, Angus.”
He acknowledged the compliment with an inclining of his head. “So what I suggest is that we get the men to change, and the women remain where they are.”
Domenica thought about this. “But then that will mean that the men all have to listen to the same men, and the women all have to listen to the same women. That surely defeats the object of the exercise.”
Then Angus raised another objection. “And there’s always the problem of glasses with such arrangements. If you have two glasses – a water glass and a wine glass – then you should really take both with you. And your table napkin. Because otherwise you’ll get the germs of the person who was sitting there before you.”
“There are very few germs in Edinburgh,” said Domenica. “But I see what you mean. So perhaps we shall just have two separate tables.”
That issue was resolved, and by the time that the first guests arrived, the seating plans seemed so natural as to give no clue to the thought that had gone into them. Many of the guests were those who usually came to Domenica’s dinner parties; one or two were newcomers, but everybody, of course, knew one another.
“It’s so reassuring,” said James Holloway, “to see no new faces.”
“Precisely,” said Susanna Kerr. “It would be a terrible shock if one went to a dinner party in Edinburgh and met people you didn’t know.”
The conversation before dinner was every bit as good as the conversation during the meal, and indeed after it. There was so much to discuss, and a great deal to provoke intense merriment. When the subject of the latest Turner Prize shortlist arose, the laughter almost made the windows rattle.
At the table, toasts were proposed, and drunk. David Robinson, who had known Domenica for years, spoke briefly, expressing the pleasure of all the guests at the satisfactory conclusion to the long friendship between host and hostess. On the other side of the table, opposite David, by coincidence sat Mhairi Collie, the surgeon who had been so kind to him, and to so many others. She nodded her head in agreement with the sentiments he expressed. Beside her, entertaining all around him with amusing stories, sat Harvey McGregor, who would, after the dinner, play several Noel Coward numbers on the piano. In the adjoining room, the guests who were at the table there could not, of course, hear any of this, but they received brief summaries of what was said, passed on by the one who sat nearest the door. This made them feel very much part of the evening and in no sense second class.
Halfway through, Angus slipped out to check up on Cyril, who was waiting outside on the landing. Cyril’s personal hygiene issues made it impossible for him to attend dinner parties in person, but he had been given a bone, and was happy with that, as most dogs are – and people, too, when the bone is metaphorical.
Angus discovered that Bertie had heard Cyril barking and was sitting on the steps beside him, in his pyjamas and dressing gown.
Angus sat down on the steps.
“Are you having fun in there?” asked Bertie.
“Yes,” said Angus. “And shortly I shall go back in and recite a poem. I always do that, Bertie.”
“Could I hear it?”
“I don’t see why not,” said Angus.
He closed his eyes. The words came to him, and came so easily.
Dear friends, gathered again together in a place
That has become so familiar to all of us,
We might wish to forget the world outside,
Might wish to think that here, with our friends,
We are the world. Would that were true:
The world outside is not the world
We would like it to be; I don’t need
To enumerate its woes – they are legion,
And greet us each time we open a newspaper.
But it would be wrong to become cynical,
Would be wrong to dismiss the possibility
Of making bearable the suffering of so many
By acts of love in our own lives,
By acts of friendship, by the simple cherishing
Of those who daily cross our path, and those who do not.
By these acts, I think, are we shown what might be;
By these acts can we transform that small corner
Of terra firma that is given to us,
In our case this little patch of earth
That we call Scotland, into a peaceable
Kingdom, a place where love and friendship
Are writ large not doubted, nor laughed at,
But embraced and proclaimed, made the tenor
Of our quotidian lives, made the register
In which we conduct ourselves.
How foolish I once thought I was
To believe in all this; how warmly
I now return to that earlier belief;
How fervently I hope that it is true,
How fervently I hope that this is so.
Angus opened his eyes. Bertie was staring at him.
“Sorry, Bertie,” he said. “I got carried away.”
“I understand, Mr. Lordie,” said Bertie.
And he gave Angus his hand, and Angus held it briefly. Such a small thing, he thought: so fragile, so human, so precious.
ALEXANDER McCALL SMITH
BERTIE PLAYS THE BLUES
Alexander McCall Smith is the author of the international phenomenon The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series, the Isabel Dalhousie series, the Portuguese Irregular Verbs series, the 44 Scotland Street series, and the Corduroy Mansions series. He is professor emeritus of medical law at the University of Edinburgh in Scotland and has served with many national and international organizations concerned with bioethics.
www.alexandermccallsmith.com
BOOKS BY ALEXANDER MCCALL SMITH
In the 44 Scotland Street Series
44 Scotland Street
Espresso Tales
Love over Scotland
The World According to Bertie
The Unbearable Lightness of Scones
The Importance of Being Seven
Bertie Plays the Blues
In the No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency Series
The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency
Tears of the Giraffe
Morality for Beautiful Girls
The Kalahari Typing School for Men
The Full Cupboard of Life
In the Company of Cheerful Ladies
Blue Shoes and Happiness
The Good Husband of Zebra Drive
The Miracle at Speedy Motors
Tea Time for the Traditionally Built
The Double Comfort Safari Club
The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party
The Limpopo Academy of Private Detection
The Minor Adjustment Beauty Salon
For Young Readers
The Great Cake Mystery
The Mystery of Meerkat Hill
In the Isabel Dalhousie Series
The Sunday Philosophy Club
Friends, Lovers, Chocolate
The Right Attitude to Rain
The Careful Use of Compliments
The Comforts of a Muddy Saturday
The Lost Art of Gratitude
The Charming Quirks of Others
The Forgotten Affairs of Youth
The Uncommon Appeal of Clouds
The Perils of Morning Coffee (eBook only)
In the Corduroy Mansions Series
Corduroy Mansions
The Dog Who Came in from the Cold
A Conspiracy of Friends
In the Portuguese Irregular Verbs Series
Portuguese Irregular Verbs
The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs
At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances
Unusual Uses for Olive Oil
Other Works
La’s Orchestra Saves the World
The Girl Who Married a Lion and Other Tales from Africa
Trains and Lovers
THE 44
SCOTLAND STREET SERIES
“Will make you feel as though you live in Edinburgh.… Long live the folks on Scotland Street.”
—The Times-Picayune (New Orleans)
44 SCOTLAND STREET
All of Alexander McCall Smith’s trademark warmth and wit come into play in this novel chronicling the lives of the residents of a converted Georgian town house in Edinburgh. Complete with colorful characters, love triangles, and even a mysterious art caper, this is an unforgettable portrait of Edinburgh society.
Volume 1
ESPRESSO TALES
The eccentric residents of 44 Scotland Street are back. From the talented six-year-old Bertie, who is forced to arrive in pink overalls for his first day of class, to the self-absorbed Bruce, who contemplates a change of career in between admiring glances in the mirror, there is much in store as fall settles on Edinburgh.
Volume 2
LOVE OVER SCOTLAND
From conducting perilous anthropological studies of pirate households to being inadvertently left behind on a school trip to Paris, the wonderful misadventures of the residents of 44 Scotland Street will charm and delight.
Volume 3
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO BERTIE
Pat is forced to deal with the reappearance of Bruce, which has her heart skipping—and not in the most pleasant way. Angus Lordie’s dog, Cyril, has been taken away by the authorities, accused of being a serial biter, and Bertie, the beleaguered Italian-speaking prodigy and saxophonist, now has a little brother, Ulysses, who he hopes will distract his mother, Irene.
Volume 4
THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF SCONES
The Unbearable Lightness of Scones finds Bertie still troubled by his rather overbearing mother, Irene, but seeking his escape in the cub scouts. Matthew is rising to the challenge of married life, while Domenica epitomizes the loneliness of the long-distance intellectual, and Cyril succumbs to the kind of romantic temptation that no dog can resist, creating a small problem, or rather six of them, for his friend and owner, Angus Lordie.
Volume 5
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING SEVEN
Bertie is—finally!—about to turn seven. But one afternoon he mislays his meddling mother, Irene, and learns a valuable lesson. Angus and Domenica contemplate whether to give in to romance on holiday in Italy, and even usually down-to-earth Big Lou is overheard discussing cosmetic surgery.
Volume 6
BERTIE PLAYS THE BLUES
New parents Matthew and Elspeth must muddle through the difficulties of raising their triplets—there’s normal sleep deprivation, and then there’s trying to tell the children apart from one another. Angus and Domenica are newly engaged, and now they must negotiate the complex merger of two households. And in Bertie’s family, there’s a shift in power as his father, Stuart, starts to stand up to overbearing mother, Irene—and then there’s Bertie, who has been thinking that he might want to start over with a new family and so puts himself up for adoption on eBay. With his signature charm and gentle wit, Alexander McCall Smith vividly portrays the lives of Edinburgh’s most unique and beloved characters.
Volume 7
THE CORDUROY MANSIONS SERIES
“A new cast of characters to love.”
—Entertainment Weekly
CORDUROY MANSIONS
In London’s hip Pimlico neighborhood, Corduroy Mansions, a block of crumbling brickwork and dormer windows is home to a delightfully eccentric cast of residents including, but not limited to: a wine merchant who desperately hopes his son will move out; a boutique caterer who has designs on the oenophile down the hall; a snarky member of Parliament; and Freddie de la Hay, a vegetarian Pimlico terrier.
Volume 1
THE DOG WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD
Freddie de la Hay has been recruited by MI6 to infiltrate a Russian spy ring. A pair of New Age operators wants to use Terence Moongrove’s estate as a center for cosmological studies. Literary agent Barbara Ragg represents a man who hangs out with the Abominable Snowman, and the rest of the denizens of the housing block have issues of their own.
Volume 2
A CONSPIRACY OF FRIENDS
There’s never a dull moment for the residents of Corduroy Mansions: Berthea Snark is still at work on her scathing biography of her own son; literary agents Rupert Porter and Barbara Ragg are still battling each other; fine-arts graduate Caroline Jarvis is busy blurring the line between friendship and romance; and William French is still worrying that his son, Eddie, may never leave home. But uppermost on everyone’s mind is Freddie de la Hay—William’s faithful terrier (and without a doubt the only dog clever enough to have been recruited by MI6)—who has disappeared while on a mystery tour around the Suffolk countryside.
Volume 3
The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency—Volume 1
Tears of the Giraffe—Volume 2
Morality for Beautiful Girls—Volume 3
The Kalahari Typing School for Men—Volume 4
The Full Cupboard of Life—Volume 5
In the Company of Cheerful Ladies —Volume 6
Blue Shoes and Happiness—Volume 7
The Good Husband of Zebra Drive —Volume 8
The Miracle at Speedy Motors—Volume 9
Tea Time for the Traditionally Built —Volume 10
The Double Comfort Safari Club —Volume 11
The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party —Volume 12
The Limpopo Academy of Private Detection—Volume 13
The Minor Adjustment Beauty Salon—Volume 14
FOR YOUNG READERS, INTRODUCING PRECIOUS AS A YOUNG GIRL
THE GREAT CAKE MYSTERY
“A detective is born! Lucky young readers will now be able to make the acquaintance of the one and only Precious—Alexander McCall Smith’s beguiling and intrepid Botswanian sleuth, as she takes on her very first case.”
—Mary Pope Osborne, bestselling author of The Magic Tree House series
Illustration © Iain McIntosh
THE MYSTERY OF MEERKAT HILL
Precious has a new mystery to solve! When her friend’s family’s most valuable cow vanishes, Precious must devise a plan to find the missing animal. But she needs the help of the family’s pet meerkat to solve the case. Will she succeed and what obstacles will she face on her path?
THE ISABEL DALHOUSIE NOVELS
“The literary equivalent of herbal tea and a cozy fire.… McCall Smith’s Scotland [is] well worth future visits.”
—The New York Times
The Sunday Philosophy Club
Isabel Dalhousie is fond of problems, and sometimes she becomes interested in problems that are, quite frankly, none of her business—including some that are best left to the police. Filled with endearingly thorny characters and a Scottish atmosphere as thick as a highland mist, The Sunday Philosophy Club is an irresistible pleasure.
Volume 1
Friends, Lovers, Chocolate
While taking care of her niece Cat’s deli, Isabel meets a heart transplant patient who has had some strange experiences in the wake of his surgery. Against the advice of her housekeeper, Isabel is intent on investigating. Matters are further complicated when Cat returns from vacation with a new boyfriend, and Isabel’s fondness for him lands her in another muddle.
Volume 2
The Right Attitude to Rain
When Isabel’s cousin from Dallas arrives in Edinburgh, she introduces Isabel to a bigwig Texan whose young fiancée may just be after his money. Then there’s her niece, Cat, who’s busy falling for a man whom Isabel suspects of being an incorrigible mama’s boy. Isabel is advised to stay out of it all, but the philosophical issues of these matters of the heart prove too tempting for her to resist.
Volume 3
The Careful Use of Compliments
There’s a new little Dalhousie on the scene, and while the arrival of Isabel’s son presents her with the myriad wonders of life, it doesn’t diminish her curiosity about other things. While attending an art auction, she discovers a
mystery revealed in one of the paintings, launching her into yet another intriguing investigation.
Volume 4
The Comforts of a Muddy Saturday
A doctor’s career has been ruined by allegations of medical fraud and Isabel cannot ignore what may be a miscarriage of justice. Meanwhile, there is her baby, Charlie, who needs looking after; her niece, Cat, who needs someone to mind her deli; and a mysterious composer who has latched on to Jamie, making Isabel decidedly uncomfortable.
Volume 5
The Lost Art of Gratitude
When Minty Auchterlonie takes Isabel into her confidence about the complicated troubles at the investment bank she heads, Isabel finds herself going another round: Is Minty to be trusted? Or is she the perpetrator of an enormous financial fraud? As always, Isabel makes her way toward the heart of the problem.
Volume 6
The Charming Quirks of Others
Old friends of Isabel’s ask for her help in a rather tricky situation: A successor is being sought for the headmaster position at their alma mater and an anonymous letter has alleged that one of the candidates has a very serious skeleton in their closet. Could Isabel discreetly look into it?
Volume 7
The Forgotten Affairs of Youth
A visiting Australian philosopher asks Isabel’s help to find her biological father. As usual, Isabel cannot help but oblige, even though she has concerns of her own. Her young son, Charlie, is now walking and talking, and her housekeeper, Grace, regularly attends a spiritualist who has taken to providing interesting advice. And could it finally be time for Jamie and Isabel to get married?