I actually froze. The room was beautiful. It wasn’t as fancy as some of the suites I’d seen on televisions shows, but it was much bigger than any of the rooms I’d ever stayed in. It had a small sitting area with a television and a small bar area with a sink, microwave, and a refrigerator. The bed wasn’t in the front room as I was accustomed to. It was off in its own bedroom with an attached full bathroom.
I’d been in the room for about a half hour. I changed into the outfit I packed for the trade show and was refreshing the light makeup I’d applied that morning when my phone dinged in my purse. I hurried to it, remembering Edi had asked me to text her to let her know when I arrived.
One glance at the screen and I could see the text was from her, and there was more than one. I clicked on them, squelching the nagging guilt that was slowly becoming a permanent fixture in my conscience. Her first text had my heart pounding instantly. In it, she informed me she was flying to California last minute, but then I remembered the calls she’d gotten last night and this morning. I’d been so grateful for the first call last night because it lightened the mood and had us talking about that instead.
Edi’s oldest sister had gone into labor with her first child. It’d be her parents’ first grandchild, and the entire family was ecstatic about it. Edi had already missed the baby shower because she hadn’t been able to take time off of school. She’d gotten news of the baby being born just before I left that morning.
With finals over now for the second semester, she explained in her text that her parents had offered to fly her out for a few days so she could be there when the baby came home. She was leaving tomorrow, around the same time I’d be flying back from Milwaukee.
I felt the strangest relief. I’d never been a good liar, and somehow, I got the feeling that after this trip I was either going to have to come clean about the uncertainty I’d been feeling or continue with the vague answers concerning Aaron. Basically lie. The latter was not something I was willing to entertain. Edi didn’t deserve that, and it would only make the situation worse. So knowing she wouldn’t be home for a few days when I got home was a welcome relief.
A knock sounded at my door just as I sent back the text letting her know I’d arrived in Milwaukee and would call her as soon as the show was over to tell her about it. I slipped the phone back into my purse and hurried to the door. As expected, it was Aaron. He’d changed into a pair of black slacks and a long-sleeved white dress shirt and tie. I hadn’t thought it possible, but he was even more breathtaking than ever.
As usual, thoughts of Edi were instantly squashed. Instead, I was suddenly worried that I was underdressed.
“Our ride is here,” he said, adjusting one of his cufflinks. “You ready?”
I nodded as the mixture of excitement and nervousness and the suddenly worrisome thoughts that I was inadequately dressed consumed me. “Yes,” I said, still taking him in from top to bottom then examining the simple pencil skirt and buttoned tucked-in blouse I was wearing. “Should I change too?” I asked, touching my blouse, and feeling a little irritated for not having thought to ask him about the attire sooner. “Is what I’m wearing okay for this?”
He stopped adjusting his cufflinks, bringing his full attention to me. His eyes looked me up and down slowly until they came to rest on my eyes. I gulped, feeling as if I’d inadvertently given him the go-ahead to eye me in that way that had my insides bubbling.
“You look perfect,” he said with a slight curve of his lip.
It was one of those moments my brain kept insisting was in my imagination—just like the one on New Year’s Eve I’d tried for months to suppress but had failed miserably. Those moments had happened more and more in the past couple of weeks, the weeks Mia told Bea she’d noticed the change in Aaron.
I cleared my throat and stepped back, letting him in. “Okay, well, I’ll just grab my purse and we can go.”
I rushed away toward the bedroom, feeling the heat rise from my neck to my face. By the time we were downstairs and in the awaiting car, I’d managed to calm my nerves. It helped that Aaron had gone back into business mode, discussing our presentation and assuring me I had nothing to be nervous about.
When we arrived at the fairgrounds, the place was bustling. Just as Aaron’s appearance at my hotel door had snuffed my thoughts of Edi, the tradeshow and its clamor had eclipsed any thoughts of our latest “moment” back in my room.
For now.
Chapter 12
Aaron
My fixation with my cufflinks when Henrietta had first opened her hotel door had been purposeful. Seeing her looking sexy as all hell in her business attire was a bit much. I’d been afraid she might notice my gawking. So her asking for my opinion on what she was wearing had caught me off guard. I hadn’t meant to be so damn obvious, but she really did look perfect.
I’d recovered fairly well and managed to not say or do anything inanely obvious again until the end of the first presentation. It felt different from any of the other presentations I’d ever done. Different because of her. In the past several weeks, Henrietta had become a distraction like none I’d ever experienced. Even during my presentation, I couldn’t help feeling distracted every time I glanced her way.
As she had every time we discussed the presentation, she’d spent the entire time taking notes. All this time as my attraction for Henrietta had grown, I’d always regarded her as adorable because of her age. It felt safer. Less wrong. She was a beautiful young lady with qualities anyone would admire. Only it’d slowly become impossible to ignore how damn sexy she was too.
The business outfit she wore today was simple enough, but something about it made her seem more womanly. The visuals I’d begun having of helping her out of said outfit were entirely wrong, especially the effect they were having on me physically. I hadn’t spent so much time trying to keep my crotch under control since high school. But it just couldn’t be helped. The offensive visuals weren’t a new thing. They’d been happening almost since the day she started working for me. At first, they weren’t quite so offensive. Mostly, I’d lose my train of thought, staring at her lips when she talked and wondering what it might be like to kiss them. Then later what her mouth would taste like. They’d since increased in a sexual nature, but I’d managed to keep things under control. Now seeing her like this today, staying in control or just keeping my mind off her was proving to be nearly impossible.
Control had always been my thing, and I’d never felt so out of it.
Then something else happened just after I’d finished up the presentation and was taking the final questions from a few of the onlookers. I noticed a guy approach Henrietta. I’d introduced her early on as my business associate who could also answer any questions and would be passing out flyers after the presentation. The guy who approached her had taken a flyer, but I couldn’t help noticing the way he smiled at her as they spoke. Whatever he was saying to her wasn’t all business because she’d even laughed politely, glancing around and appearing a bit unnerved.
Without thinking, I’d abruptly excused myself from the two men I’d been speaking with and hastened over to Henrietta and the guy.
“As soon as we’re done here,” I said, touching her elbow gently and without apologizing for my interruption, “we’ll go grab something to eat. We have a little break before the next presentation, and I wanted to go over a few things with you.”
She turned to face me. “Sounds good,” she said with a smile. “I was beginning to get a little hungry.”
“What time will you be completely done here today, Henrietta?” the guy asked with annoying smirk.
Once again and absolutely out of character for me, I turned to the guy and didn’t just answer for her, I did so with enough inflection there was no way he or Henrietta could miss it. “We’ll be here until three, but if there’s anything else you need, I’d be happy to answer any questions you may have.”
Out of control.
I was on the verge of crossing the line—being too
obvious—especially because I knew Henrietta now knew what Mia thought. The truth. I was hopelessly infatuated with her and making it undeniably clear. But if I had to be honest with myself, this went beyond infatuation—far beyond.
Despite my apprehension that I was being too obvious, I didn’t back off. I stared the guy straight in the face. Even worse, I knew without a doubt that if he didn’t pick up on my insolence, I’d make it clear one way or another. I was too far gone to back down now. Most alarming was I’d never felt this kind of possessiveness with Mia. Sure in those very early years I’d made sure once I decided I wanted a relationship with her that it was known we were more than just friends. But after that, even when I’d notice someone flirt with her, I never felt what I felt at that moment as I waited for this guy to respond.
His response was nothing more than to ask a few more questions about the EPG. Questions I made sure to answer myself. I answered as politely as possible in an attempt to make up for my earlier tenor—for Henrietta’s sake. Not so much because I didn’t want him engaging further with Henrietta but because I could no longer trust my response to it. It was finally time I acknowledged and admit that, from the moment I’d gone against my better judgment and duped my sister and cousin into offering Henrietta the job, I’d lost control. I knew then it was a bad idea but was powerless to stop myself. After what happened last night, my behavior now proved things were only getting worse. My impulsive reaction to his obvious interest in Henrietta was completely atypical for me. No telling what I’d do or say if he proceeded to so much as flirt with her in front of me. Fortunately, my conversation with him concluded with no further incident.
Lunch was uneventful. After my unexpected reaction to something as petty as seeing another man get a little too friendly with her, I was being overly cautious. I stuck to talk of the presentation she’d be doing next, steering clear of any subjects that might have me admitting too much or doing things such as getting lost in her eyes. Something that was happening way too often.
I was convinced now that what I was certain she’d felt even way back on New Year’s wasn’t imagined. That whatever it was had only increased with each conversation we’d had since she came to work for me. It was mounting now each moment we continued to spend around each other. The fact that she was in a committed relationship with her lesbian girlfriend mattered as much to me as being engaged to my girlfriend of over ten years did. Something was happening, but there was something even more worrisome that had begun to gnaw at me.
Last night she’d begun to open up. Henrietta had been about to tell me more about her relationship with Edi. When I asked her if she was in love with Edi, I was genuinely curious. They hadn’t been a couple that long, but I wasn’t implying that I had my doubts. Hope maybe, but not a doubt. Not until she’d answered the question anyway. Instead of answering with certainty or even an honest “I’m not sure yet,” there’d been an air of defensiveness in her answer.
I was beyond curious now about what she didn’t finish saying. But after everything that happened last night, I knew I was lucky she was here with me today. I didn’t want to push it. Even before my conversation with Bea this morning that had me spitting out my orange juice, I’d been nervous she might start feeling uncomfortable working for me. Mia had completely ignored Henrietta last night. Henrietta might be young, but it’d been more than established she wasn’t naïve. She must’ve had at least an inkling, even before Bea told her what Mia’s issue might be. Now that she knew the galling truth, I wasn’t sure what to expect.
I hadn’t even wanted to call Henrietta that morning after I got off the phone with Bea. I figured if she’d changed her mind about coming on this trip she would’ve called or texted, and if she was still undecided, it might be easier for her to cancel over the phone. I wouldn’t make it that easy on her. It felt devious, but I just couldn’t chance it. What if she did cancel or worse—quit? I thought maybe if it could at least be in person I’d have a better chance of convincing her otherwise.
Now I had other worries. My out-of-control reactions were becoming reckless and unpredictable even to me. At one point during lunch, she’d gone over a certain part of the presentation. She’d held her notebook up with one hand and read while her fingers on her other hand tapped nervously on the table. I had to refrain from reaching over and touching her hand. It would’ve come across as me trying to assuage—calm—her nerves. But I knew it was more. The inappropriate urges I’d had to touch her even from the very beginning were reaching a boiling point.
With lunch over and us back at the trade show, I tried to compose myself, focusing on setting up for the next presentation. I took a seat as she took front and center on stage. Within seconds, I was transported back to that night, New Year’s Eve, when I’d felt so blown away by her. I already knew she was a natural. We’d practiced enough back home. But seeing her now in her sexy outfit and watching her make this presentation her little bitch, I was floored.
Halfway through it, I forced myself to focus on the actual presentation. She’d glance at me every now and again and smile as if wanting my approval. I knew she’d want feedback once she was finished. So far, all I could think of was you were beautiful and can I fucking kiss you?
By the time she’d finished, I was in what had become too familiar of a daze lately. In the weeks and days leading up to this trip, I’d begun to feel that the little girl I’d had that conversation with back on New Year’s Eve—my kid sister’s young friend whose slam dunk first impression I’d tried so desperately to convince myself had been just a fluke—might be the real deal. What my dad had been talking about when he said I’d know. Everything about Henrietta had slowly begun to bring me to my knees. Now here I stood, ready to drop down on them and pray I hadn’t imagined everything that’d been happening between us.
I knew I couldn’t—shouldn’t—because I had to respect that she was in a relationship and remember that I was her boss. Damn it. Not to mention that while it was likely the end of the road for Mia and me, after everything we’d been through, I owed her a dignified break-up.
In person.
Not over the phone. I knew I’d be tempted to break up with Mia over the phone if by some miracle Henrietta actually admitted not just to feeling the same for me but that she’d be willing to do something about it. Henrietta wouldn’t be the reason I was breaking up with Mia. I wasn’t even sure yet if everything I thought was happening between Henrietta and me was all in my delusional head. There was still the very real possibility that she’d adamantly object to anything happening between us. Not just because of Edi, but her home and only family member she knew of were in California. She might be so uncomfortable by any admission she could quit. There were still so many obstacles for me to think anything beyond a professional relationship would ever work between her and me.
“So?” Henrietta asked the moment we were alone after her presentation. “What’d you think?”
She wore that same smile that lit up those eyes so beautifully. The same one she wore each time she made a breakthrough on our quest to get the EPG in apartment buildings. The one that took my breath away every single time and reminded me what I was feeling for her was far more than physical attraction.
I wouldn’t say what I really wanted to say, but I refused to devalue her performance for the sake of being appropriate. “You were amazing,” I said, smiling even bigger when I saw the added excitement in her already gleaming eyes.
It was the truth. She’d nailed it. “I couldn’t have done it better,” I added and meant it.
As annoying as it was to see how some of the men in her audience were captivated by every word she’d said, every move she’d made, she’d very genuinely and efficiently sold the EPG for everything it was worth.
She did the last two presentations of the day, and while I hadn’t thought she had anything to improve on, she did each time. She was a boss’s dream. My dream. In so many more ways than one now.
“I was so nervous at first,”
she said as we walked toward our waiting car. “But even in the first presentation I made, I felt completely in the zone.”
She turned to me, and I was instantly distracted when her tongue pushed away a strand of her hair that blew against her lip. Pulling it aside, she continued speaking excitedly about the presentations as I dealt with my inner turmoil.
“I guess my professor was right,” she said as we slid into the backseat of the car. “Public speaking is my forte. I’ll have to get right to it as soon as I get back and start checking into changing my major. I can hardly wait until the next trade show.”
The relief from hearing that was unexpected. It washed over me like a glorious hot shower. Last night’s turn of events didn’t appear to have impinged on Henrietta’s decision to continue to work for me. The pessimist in me—the realist—knew it was very possible she’d only agreed to still come this weekend because she knew it’d be too late to get a refund on her first-class ticket and room. But I didn’t realize how worried I’d been she might still quit until now.
Further proof of how crazy I was beginning to feel about her.
Even as she continued to talk cheerfully, without any noticeable apprehension like the undeniable unease I’d felt from her that morning, I wouldn’t get too encouraged just yet. We still hadn’t actually discussed what Bea had told her. How Henrietta felt about it. How Edi did. That conversation was inevitable, and her outlook might change once I told her what she’d likely ask. How would I address the issue when we got back home? But the even bigger question, one she likely wouldn’t be asking, was even more daunting. I could leave it alone if she didn’t ask and have it linger like the elephant in the room it would certainly become, or I could just man up and address it.
Was there any truth to Mia’s claim that I was infatuated with Henrietta? I could take the easy way out. Tell Henrietta that I could understand why Mia might feel insecure but assure her as professionally as I could that it wasn’t true. Or I could be honest—admit that from day one I’d been beyond impressed by her fortitude and positive mind-set despite all she’d been through. Tell her that, after being witness to all her other endearing personality traits coupled with her undeniable good looks, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to her. I could assure her that I respected her as an employee and the fact that she was in a relationship. That despite everything I might be feeling I’d continue to conduct myself around her with the utmost professionalism as ever.