Chapter Eighteen
Lilliana
I rubbed away the puffiness of sleep that still masked my features. The previous day at the trial in Paladin Square had left me emotionally drained and exhausted. Afterward, I had run through the city without a thought to where I’d end up. Somehow, I’d made it to the diner Ephrem and I had once eaten at. Maybe I was seeking a sense of comfort and familiarity when I sat at one of the tables and waited for destiny to take me away. Whatever it was, I didn’t know where else to go.
How had it felt to be forever banished from my home at the ArcKnight palace? I didn’t quite know, but it wasn’t good. I felt lost, tossed out like yesterday’s garbage. Worthless and unwanted. At least, that’s how I felt now.
On the other hand, Ephrem had also returned to the diner and joined me with a smile. Instead of rejecting me, as my own pack had done, he’d wanted us to exchange our Ardent talismans again. His promise of marriage was still valid, and our betrothal was still very real, even if the royal packs of MarkTier and ArcKnight wouldn’t ever acknowledge our bond. We didn’t care. We were in love.
He had saved me, and he didn’t even know it.
Now, the morning after the beginning of my new life, I peered across the bed to watch Ephrem softly breathing as he lay next to me. Only a sheet covered him below the waist, but with a glance downward, I felt the hot rush of blood heat up my face. It was hard to look away so I didn’t, getting a long look at his naked torso.
He could be a god. There wasn’t an imperfect spot on his body. Even with the array of faded scars scattered across him, there was no one more enticing to me than he was. After all, he was now my fiancé. I couldn’t believe it. Our betrothal had been voided and he didn’t owe me anything, but he still wanted to marry me. With or without the consent of his family. It made my heart swell with love for him, and I snuggled up into his side just to feel his strong arms around me. His scent was heavenly along with a comforting heat that kept the cold away.
He was all I needed and all I had left.
Hours later, we both awoke late into the brand new day, preparing for whatever came our way. He was still a guard in the Outlands Legion, but I hoped his job wouldn’t separate us for long. I would be staying there while he was at work, but I was free to explore the city.
What would I do in the Outlands of the city of Temple? I’d never had to work a day in my life. I’d been a pampered princess until Elise, my only so-called friend, had ripped it all away. Would I ever recover from her stealing my talisman? I didn’t know. The betrayal had run so deep; I still couldn’t believe she’d tricked me for so long. But that’s the way things had gone, and it was all over and done with now. I was banished forever from my home because of her, so here I was, living my new life.
I’d gotten the better end of the deal. She was dead and had gotten no less than what she deserved. Even the pain of losing a friend didn’t overtake the anger I still felt toward her. She could rot in hell. I didn’t care anymore about her, or the past. There was only looking forward. If I wasn’t going to lose myself in misery, I had to keep moving.
“Are you heading out today?” Ephrem’s voice awoke me from my thoughts.
“Yes. I was thinking―I should get a job or something.” I rubbed my fingers over the edge of my coffee mug. The dark liquid was bitter and sharp, just like my thoughts.
“Stick close to this area. I don’t want you working late in some far off neighborhood. You know how dangerous it gets here. At least I know you’ll be able to take down any delinquents who have the unfortunate luck to cross your path.” He stepped out of the bathroom, fastening his belt before grabbing an array of weapons and packs off the dresser in his room. His miniature armory took up most of the space on the furniture, but he’d have to make room for my stuff.
Strike that. Our room. It was our apartment now.
I really liked the sound of that.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Maybe the bookstore down the way needs some help. I’m not sure what having a job is like, but hey, it’ll help me move on.”
“That’s the spirit. At least we know you won’t be hunted by either stronghold now.” He bent over toward me and kissed me gently. “And since we have our talismans back, there’s no more fear of being manipulated. What more could you ask for?”
His smile lit up his face, and I beamed. One look brought flurries into my core, sending goosebumps flaring across my skin. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. Ephrem was the sexiest soldier I’d ever met, and he wanted me here, with him. His enthusiasm was contagious.
“True. Listen, I never did thank you. You know … for saving my life.”
He slid onto the bed beside me and pulled me into his arms. It was the only place I felt safe now, even in the calm enclosure of his apartment. I wondered if I’d ever feel safe or trusting of anyone ever again.
“I’d do it again if I had to.” He kissed my head, and I peered up into his dark blue eyes. They were hypnotizing, and there was nothing I wanted more than to hold him tight and never let go. I hoped he knew how grateful I was for his love, for his strength. I’d never have made it out here without him. I was sure of it.
“I know. I’d do it for you too. Just wanted to thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He stood up, grabbed his freshly sharpened knife and slid it into the sheath already attached to his belt. He was ready for another night patrolling the Outlands for any danger to the MarkTier pack. His rounds didn’t necessarily bring him into the area his apartment was in, which was a neutral zone between both pack strongholds, but he promised he would pass through at least a few times to check the area.
His promise was the only thing I knew would be real. His words were the only ones I trusted. I hoped he stayed in my life for a long time because I needed this reassurance.
“If you need anything, you can get ahold of me with this.” He pressed a small cell phone into my hand. “It’s got my number programmed into it. Message me, or call. Either way, let me know how you’re doing. I promise I’ll answer or call you back as soon as I can.”
I nodded. “Okay. Thank you.”
I watched him slip away and out the door, leaving me alone in his modest apartment. It was cozy, but it felt incredibly empty without his presence. Funny how little time it had taken for him to become such a big part of my world that when he was gone, it felt terrifying and alone.
I pulled my jacket over my clothes and slipped the cell phone into one of the pockets. It was time to step out into the world and start living my new life. It was a new adventure, and I should have been more excited.
Instead, the dread filled me, only to be amplified when I walked through the door. There would never be peace here. The packs made sure of it. There was nothing but an unforgiving world out there, but I was determined to find my place, no matter what.
Chapter Nineteen
Rafaela
My head ached from studying the reorganization plans for some of the ArcKnight military divisions. My general and right-hand man, Alec, had recommended the changes. Each page was blurring into the next as I peered over the mess of charts, graphs, and names. It was a massive task, and I was lucky he was there to walk me through each section. The sheer number of soldiers who’d been promoted, needed promotions—or demotions—in the ArcKnight Outlands Legion was overwhelming. It was a relief to find the whole process was more formality than my duty. Alec had it covered, but he had to formalize the plans by showing them to me.
I’d rather be doing a dozen other things.
There were literally thousands of soldiers. How had I ended up with this task? That’s right, Gil didn’t have a head for this, or so he’d told me. This was one of the unsavory duties to fall to me when Gil decided he had better things to do than deal with this. I personally believed he just hated how inferior Alec made him feel because of his lack of experience in the field. That was one thing I didn’t mind; Alec one-upping me. He could talk about war strategy all he w
anted. It went in one ear and out the other. I just liked to hear him talk.
Gil refused to waste his talents on this mundane crap. He pawned it off on me. He was a genius at politics but lacked any ability in military tactics and ceremonial duties. The latter was my job since he’d assigned it to me before swooping out of the room earlier. The first was Alec’s problem.
Luckily, it didn’t bother Alec to take over the Alpha’s duties when it came to the military; it was second nature to him. However, it made him fume to see Gil treat me like a common party organizer.
“So we’re using the west training stadium for the promotions ceremony, right?” I yawned, stretching my arms out before slumping into my chair. I was already tapped out for the day, and it wasn’t even noon.
“Yes. It’s the largest one. We can assemble the troops inside with plenty of room for families. The soldiers with promotions can actually take up one small section near the center while the spectators take the rest of the seating. A lot of visitors will be coming.”
“That’s perfect. Just remind me where I’m supposed to be in all this?” I pointed to an elevated seating area protected with bulletproof glass. “Here, right? Isn’t it kind of claustrophobic in there?”
“It’s for your protection. Since it will be open to the citizens of Temple, we can never be too careful.”
I exhaled sharply, nodding in agreement. My mind was fried. “Sounds perfect. Where will you be during the ceremony?” I lifted an eyebrow at him, hoping he’d be nearby, in the box.
“At your side, of course.” A mischievous twinkle in his eyes made my stomach flutter. The intensity of his stare and his close proximity as he sat beside me didn’t escape my notice. I knew how fond he was of me, even though he’d never told me out loud. He was fifteen years my senior, and I was married. It was a barrier we’d never cross, and deep down, I knew he knew that. Still, he was gorgeous to look at, and I enjoyed his company a lot more than Gil did. Luckily, no one else noticed the way Alec preferred discussing such things with me instead of the Alpha. Gil just didn’t have a head for these things.
So it all fell on me. It was inevitable, but Alec made it as painless as possible. Even so, I usually ended up leaving everything up to him in the end.
“Who’s presenting the awards if you’re in the box with us?” I asked.
“My second lieutenant, Richard, will be doing the honors.” Alec released me from his intense stare, but it was already too late. It had left a mark on my soul, and I felt oddly cold without it.
“Sounds good. Looks like we got things put together pretty well, right?”
“Yes, m’lady.”
I didn’t move, waiting to see if he had anything else to say. Sometimes I wished he would tell me something more. Anything would do. I loved to hear his voice. His passion for life was addictive.
“Well, I guess I’m done here, then.” I stood, but Alec was at my side with his hand on my arm before I could turn to leave.
“Wait, Ella….” Alec’s eyes shined as we stood face to face. He was so close that if I stepped forward, I’d bump noses with him, possibly lips. I had to hold my breath in as I watched his nostrils flare, a sign of desire or challenge from another wolf. And there was no doubt as to which one it was. He was indulging in my scent, and if Gil were there, it would have been a highly offensive move. “I need to talk to you about something. It’s been bothering me for some time, but I….”
My breath stuck in my throat as I heard the door to the conference room creak open. I immediately sank down into my chair and avoided looking at Alec, who was probably now glaring at whoever had arrived.
I knew who it was. I felt it deep inside and radiating from my Ardent talisman. The medallion had belonged to Gil before we were betrothed, but I’d worn it since then. It connected me to my mate in more ways than one, telling me when he was near or strayed too far.
This wasn’t the only time I’d been relieved that my talisman wasn’t powerful enough to link us completely. That would’ve made interactions with anyone like Alec quite plain to Gil.
“Oh, hello, Alec. Is Rafaela here? There you are!” Gil reached around the highback chair to give me a light peck on my cheek. I prayed my face was not burning scarlet hot, for it felt stifling in the normally cool conference room now. “Have you finished with this mess yet?” He waved an arm at the papers on the table.
The tangled stacks of documents were piled high. An organized chaos. It was a pile of disarray indeed, but I liked it. It was what Alec and I did best, making order from disorder, and rearranging things to create the beauty of it all. I wished I could achieve such harmony working alongside Gil.
“Yes. We just finished, actually. What about you? What shenanigans have you been up to?” I joked, hoping to lighten the atmosphere.
Gil’s mischievous smile made his dimples stand out, and I watched him shove some of the papers aside without regard, which infuriated me and most definitely grated on Alec’s nerves. I could sense the tension overtaking his previous relaxed demeanor. I hated seeing Alec like that. I’d known him my entire life and had never seen him so uptight when he’d served Gil’s father.
“I’ve got the perfect idea to add more rooms to our wing of the palace.” He spread another blueprint he’d brought in and pointed to a new set of rooms near our master bedroom. “We’ll reinforce the insulation in our room when we tear down the meeting room next to it here, turn part of it into a nursery, and in this part here,” he pointed opposite the nursery, “we’ll add a suite for our mothers to share. It’ll be a much bigger area than they have now at the north end of the palace. They’ll be closer, too, for when our children need them. What do you think?”
My eyes widened. “A nursery? Why would we need a nursery?” The pit of my belly sank when it dawned on me what he meant by that.
“Well, when we have a baby, we’ll need one. That’s the next step, isn’t it?”
I jumped to my feet, feeling ill as my head spun at the notion. I wasn’t even over the banishment of my sister and was missing her dearly. To think about having a baby now? It wasn’t the right time. I was much too busy. We were still so young.
“Now? A baby?” My voice cracked as I struggled to keep from stuttering. He’d sidelined me with his plans, and I had nothing to counter it.
“Yes. Of course now. Why do you think I want to expand this section? It will take months to complete, so we need to start right away. The sooner, the better. Some people get pregnant immediately after marrying. It could happen.”
Not to me. No way in hell. A baby? I didn’t want to start a family. Not yet.
“I don’t know, Gil. Is it really a good time to be thinking about that already? We just got married and I… well, losing Lily hasn’t been good. For me, or my mother. Maybe we need to think on this. It’s a huge step.”
The silence that followed made me want to curl up under the table and hide. That or walk out the door. Alec, who’d been swallowing down a violent shock of surprise, looked somewhat amused now, and his eyes darted between Gil and me with great interest. Gil, on the other hand, was near breaking point, and purple in the face.
“What? You don’t want to have a kid, then?”
“I’m not saying that. I just think we should wait until things get more settled. We just took over from your father. He just died, for goodness sake! Plus, we’re still searching for whoever killed him. It’s just not a good time.”
“You don’t want to have a baby with me. Right?” Gil’s face darkened, and an unsettling calm spread across his face. It chilled me to the bone.
“I never said that.”
“You don’t have to. I know you loathe the idea. You told me for years you weren’t sure about having children of your own. Well, that’s the duty of an Alpha’s mate. To have babies for him. To give him heirs. If you don’t have a baby soon, I’ll have to look for someone who will.” Gil jerked away from me as I reached out. He strode out of the room and slammed the door behind him without loo
king back.
“Wait! Gil!” I rushed to stand but found myself staring dumbfounded at the door.
Alec’s hand was on my arm again, halting me in my steps. My heart raced, and I was still shaking from Gil’s outburst.
“Let him go. He doesn’t mean it. Where else is he going to find someone as special and as capable of running things as you? He’s just mad and impatient because you told him no.”
“We’re not in school anymore, Alec. He could be deadly serious. You don’t think he’d do that, do you? Find another mate?”
“I doubt it.” He led me back to my chair where I sat down, still shocked by Gil’s threat. I was with Alec on this. I doubted Gil would do anything, but it was unsettling and had wrecked my nerves.
“Here.” Alec placed a glass of cold water in front of me. “Drink. Don’t let him get you down like that. He’s just trying to push his authority on you.”
“Thank you.” I swallowed a few mouthfuls before replacing the glass back on the table. “It’s been so tense since his father died. And it didn’t help that I snuck into the MarkTier palace. He’s mad because I could’ve been killed, and I’m sure he doesn’t trust me as much now. I understand that, but he’s not telling me things anymore either. I can feel it. His lies stab me in the heart. Why? He knows I’ll know when he’s lying. He’s never been good at hiding his emotions. Why would he risk that?”
“Because he’s upset. Just let things settle. It’ll be all right.”
I closed my eyes and nodded. “I guess. I just feel like everything is not working out right.”
“Give it time.”
“I will.” I sighed and looked at Alec once more. “What were you saying before we were interrupted?”
“Oh, it can wait. Nothing important.” He gave me a soft pat on the hand before turning away to leave.
“Okay,” I breathed out, trying to calm my shaking body. “We’ll finalize things for the ceremony later. I’m going to be lying down if anyone needs me.”