“Mama, D.J. stands for Dwayne Junior, remember? If Tommy Deets was my father, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”
“Exactly! And aren’t you glad the Lord planted you right where he did? Such a blessing.” She went off on a tangent about how God certainly knew what he was up to, but D.J. wasn’t having it.
“Mama. This is awful.”
“Well, it’s not awful at all! I’d say it’s downright wonderful. I married your father, had two handsome boys who went on to marry two delightful girls, and now we have a passel of grandchildren. If I’d married Tommy Deets, who knows how things would’ve turned out?” She giggled. “Of course, he might not hate us, and he might not be so dead set on messing up your plans with the wedding facility, but if he was your father, it’s likely you wouldn’t be in the carpentry business anyway. No doubt he would’ve talked you into going into politics. Ugh! Can you even imagine?”
For whatever reason, this led to a discussion between Twila and Earline about how much they despised listening to political speeches. Twila promised to keep that in mind as her campaign progressed.
Still, I couldn’t help but feel bad—really, really bad—for my husband. All of this seemed to have taken the wind out of his sails.
“Dad?” D.J. looked at his father. “You’ve known all these years and never thought to mention any of this to me?”
“Known that I stole your mama from Tommy Deets? Sure I’ve known. Just hated to brag. I got a real peach, and he got the short end of the stick.” My father-in-law slapped his knee. “Short end of the stick. Ironic, right? That fella’s only five feet two, you know.”
“Be generous, Dwayne,” Earline warned.
“Okay, okay. Five feet three. But who’s counting? Anyway, like your mama said, Tommy never married.” Dwayne pulled his wife close and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “He grew old. And bitter.”
Hearing all of this made me think of Jasmine and Lily. Would Jasmine marry and have a happy life while Lily grew bitter and jealous? My gaze shifted to Cecil, who sat beside D.J., not saying a word. No doubt he wondered why he’d ever left Galveston Island to come to Splendora in the first place. I had a feeling the boy wanted to bolt.
Or maybe he just wanted a reason to stay.
When he got up to refill his tea glass, I followed behind him to do the same. We paused at the dessert table, and I put some chocolates on a plate and passed them his way. “Here you go, Cecil. Enjoy.”
“They look great.” He took a bite and a look of satisfaction came over him.
“Made local by one of the Rigas girls.”
“Oh?” A smile crossed Cecil’s face. “Jasmine or Lily?”
“Jasmine. She’s the baker. Lily’s the businesswoman. They’re both going to be managing the wedding facility together, did you know?”
He shook his head. An awkward pause followed. “I, um . . . well, that’s nice.”
“They’re nice girls. Very different, though. Jasmine’s more outgoing, I think. And Lily, well, she’s . . . she’s quieter.”
“Right.” He nodded. “Did she say anything? Anything at all?”
“Who? Jasmine?”
“No.” He shook his head, then moved his paper plate to the other hand, as if nervous. “Lily.”
“About the chocolates?”
“About . . . anything?” Judging from the expression in the poor guy’s eyes, he knew what my answer would be.
“She said that it would be nice to see folks get the chocolates.” I offered him a comforting smile. “I’m sure it means a lot to her that you’re happy.”
Oy vey. Had I really said that? Lily had never so much as implied any such thing.
“You think?” Cecil’s blue eyes lit up, and he reached for another chocolate. “You really think so?”
“She’s a nice girl, Cecil. But she’s going to take a bit of wooing.”
“Why?” His smile turned to a frown. “What’s wrong with her?”
Hmm. “Let’s just say she’s been blinded to love and leave it at that. She needs someone to help the blinders come off.”
“I might be the fella for that. If I could just get her to look my way.” He paused and appeared to be fumbling for words. “Would you help me, Bella—I mean, Mrs. Neeley?”
“It’s Bella. We’re friends now, Cecil. But I’m not sure how I can help you.”
“You know all about courtship. You’re in the wedding business, right?”
“Well, weddings, yes. Courtship, no. But I guess I know a few things about what a girl wants.”
Cecil laid his plate on the table. “Then share everything you know. I want to get this right. I only ever had one girlfriend before, and she ended up breaking my heart. Don’t want to replay that. You know?”
“Did I hear you right, young man?” Twila’s voice rang out from behind us. “You want information on how to court a girl? How to win her heart?”
Oh dear. I turned to see all three of the Splendora ladies standing nearby.
“Y-yes, ma’am,” Cecil managed.
Oh. Help. Surely these ladies wouldn’t get involved.
Or maybe they would.
Jolene’s face lit with excitement. “Now, isn’t God good? We were just inside the church agreeing to pray that the Lord would give us an opportunity to minister to you, and now the moment has come.”
“Minister to me?” Cecil’s eyes widened.
“Help you out with a little advice,” Jolene said.
“Yes, but goodness gracious, the Lord works quickly.” Bonnie Sue fanned herself with an empty paper plate. “I didn’t even get a chance to pray yet.”
“He’s good like that,” Jolene said.
Twila sighed. “Well, for what it’s worth, here’s my best advice: don’t come on too strong. You’ll scare her away.”
“Little chance of that,” Cecil responded. “I’ve hardly worked up the courage to say two words to her.”
“Well, get over that, my boy.” Jolene whacked him on the back. “A girl likes a man who’s brave. Confident.”
“Not egotistical, though,” Bonnie Sue added.
“Okay, so ego is out but brave is in. Got it.” Cecil reached into his pocket for a pen, then grabbed a paper plate and started writing on it. “What else?”
“Normal everyday conversations are good,” Twila said. “Talk to her about the weather. Or compliment her hair.”
Bonnie Sue snapped her fingers. “Or ask for directions to the supermarket. That way she’ll know you like to cook.”
“But I don’t like to cook.” Cecil wrinkled his nose. “I usually eat fast food.”
“Ooh, don’t ever mention that.” Bonnie Sue’s eyes widened. “Tell her about your favorite fancy restaurant. Ask if she’s ever been there.”
He sighed. “I wouldn’t know fancy if it jumped up and bit me. But if it makes you feel any better, I’m looking forward to that new barbecue restaurant Bubba is opening.” He offered a faint smile.
“Aren’t we all!” Twila giggled. “Might just have to have Bubba cater my inauguration.”
“We’re not talking about you, Twila.” Bonnie Sue rolled her eyes. “We’re trying to help Cecil by giving him love advice, remember?”
“Right, right.” Twila sighed. “Just got distracted by barbecue.”
“Let her know that you’re reliable,” Jolene said. “Don’t let her down if you ever make her a promise.” This led to a story about a fella who’d broken Jolene’s heart back in 1966.
“Well, how could I make her a promise if she doesn’t know I exist?” Cecil scratched his head.
“Make your presence known,” Twila said. “Do something sweet.”
“Give her roses,” Bonnie Sue suggested.
He shook his head. “Her family owns a rose farm.”
“Right, right.” Jolene began to pace. “Well, you’re a carpenter. Offer to build something for her.”
“Perfect idea!” Bonnie Sue popped a chocolate into her mouth, then spoke ar
ound it. “She will be won over by your carpentry skills.”
“I doubt it.” He sighed. “She’s seen me working here all week and hasn’t noticed my carpentry skills.”
“Hmm.” Bonnie Sue added more desserts to her plate. “Well, I hate to bring this up, Cecil, but perhaps Lily’s lack of interest has something to do with your hygiene. Or lack thereof, I mean.”
You could’ve heard a pin drop at that one. Sure, the boy’s hair was often covered in sawdust. And yes, he was pretty sweaty much of the time. But what would Lily or any other woman expect from a guy who did carpentry work? I couldn’t speak for all women, but I found that kind of sexy in my guy.
“Good hygiene is important, not just when you’re courting but all throughout a relationship,” Bonnie Sue said. “I once dated a fella who always smelled lovely. Like gardenias. I couldn’t wait to see him.”
“I’d be suspicious of any man who smelled like gardenias, Bonnie Sue.” Twila rolled her eyes, then turned her attention back to Cecil. “Point is, you’ve got to freshen up. Put on a nice shirt. Take a shower.” She giggled. “Not in that order, of course. Shower first, then put on the clean shirt.”
“And for pity’s sake, comb your hair.” Bonnie’s Sue voice carried that half loving, half I’m-gonna-smack-you-upside-your-head tone. “That windblown look might be popular with the teens, but a woman like Lily is looking for a grown-up fella, not a child.”
Thank you, Lady Clairol.
Cecil didn’t respond, but his eyes widened. He raked his fingers through his hair as if attempting to get it to lie down.
“That’s the style, Bonnie Sue,” I said. Not that any of this was their business. It wasn’t. They’d definitely crossed a line, and I should put a stop to it right now.
“Well, I can’t speak for Lily, but a nice clean-cut young man with tidy hair would be just the ticket.” Jolene giggled.
“What about you, Bella?” Cecil looked my way. “What advice do you have?”
I thought about it for a moment before responding. Maybe I could get this train back on track and undo some of the damage done by these well-meaning yentas.
“I think two of the most important things are sincerity and humor. Those two go a long way in winning a girl’s heart.”
“And make sure she knows you’re a man of faith,” Twila interjected. “You are a fella of faith, aren’t you, Cecil? We’ve never had this discussion before, so I can only assume you are, based on your fruit.”
“My fruit?”
“Heavens, yes.” Jolene fanned herself. “The Bible says you’ll know ’em by their fruit.”
“Are you calling me fruity?” he asked.
“Well, when you put it like that, yes.” Twila nodded. “You’re a very fruity young man, which is exactly what makes me think you’re a Christian.”
Good gravy. I didn’t know how we’d ever get this conversation back now. Thank goodness for D.J., who showed up and slapped Cecil on the back. “You’re right, ladies. Cec here is the fruitiest guy I know. And in case you’re wondering, he’s also one of the godliest. He’s my go-to friend for wise counsel.”
“Whew.” Twila wiped her brow. “Thought for a minute there I was going to have to give an altar call.”
“We’ve given you a lot to chew on, young man. Take it all to heart.” Jolene nodded, then dove into her desserts as she walked the other direction.
“It’s up to you to take the next step, Cecil. Our ministry time is over. We’ve done our part.” Bonnie Sue gave him a wink. “We’ve got work to do. Flyers to hand out. Spreading the word about Twila’s mayoral campaign and putting in a good word for the new wedding facility.” Off she went chasing after Jolene, still talking to the wind.
Twila and I stood there shaking our heads.
“You’re running for mayor, Ms. Twila?” Cecil asked.
“Yes. Would you like to be my campaign manager? I’m about to fire my current one.”
“Oh no, ma’am,” he said. “I don’t think I’d be any good at that.”
Twila pursed her lips, then turned and walked away. Cecil looked at the notes he’d written on the paper plate, sighed, and covered it all up with chocolate pie, a piece of Rosa’s Italian cream cake, and three cookies. As he slipped off through the crowd, D.J. took hold of my arm.
“Bella? What just happened here? What did Jolene mean, they’d given him a lot to chew on?”
I sighed and reached for a plate. “Let’s just say they gave him some love advice and leave it at that.”
“Love advice?” My honey’s eyes widened. “Say it ain’t so.”
“It’s so.”
He also grabbed a plate and started filling it with sweets. “In that case, I’d better take Cecil more desserts. He’s gonna need ’em to get past this.”
“Yep.” He wasn’t the only one. Between Earline’s impassioned story and the Splendora trio’s crazy advice, my head was spinning. I loaded up a plate with enough goodies to drown my sorrows too. Then I headed back to the Rossi/Neeley table and was stunned to learn they were still discussing the situation with the mayor. I figured by now they would’ve laid that conversation down and picked up another.
“So, the poor man needs a wife,” Jenna said to Earline. “Is that what you’re saying?”
“It’s the perfect solution. A wife would mend his broken heart.” Earline took a bite of coconut cream pie. Her gaze wandered to the opposite side of the church grounds, where the Splendora ladies were handing out flyers. “Ooh, Bonnie Sue doesn’t have a husband.”
I almost choked on my tea when I realized what she was suggesting. “Oh, Earline, I don’t think that’s a possibility.”
“Why not? Stranger things have happened.”
“Well, maybe, but Bonnie Sue? She’s so . . . so . . .”
“Tall?” D.J. tried.
I chuckled. “It’s not that, though she probably is a few inches taller than Mayor Deets. It’s just that they’re radically different in every regard.”
“But opposites attract, wouldn’t you say?” D.J. quirked a brow. “Remember when we first met, how different we were?”
Still are.
But I wouldn’t say that. Still, the boy had a point.
“But Mayor Deets and Bonnie Sue have known one another for years. They’ve clearly never had feelings for one another. And she’s Twila’s campaign manager.”
“Campaign manager?” My mother swiped a fly from the top of her chocolate cake. “I did see that she’s running for mayor. Is that right?”
Earline nodded. “Yes, but that doesn’t have to change anything. I still think Bonnie Sue is the missing piece to the puzzle here. She’s been so lonely since Sal passed away. We’ve just got to somehow get them together—alone together—someplace.” She snapped her fingers. “I’ve got it!”
“What, Mama?” D.J. asked.
“We’ll lock them up together inside the wedding facility. How long do you think it’ll take for them to fall in love? An hour? Two?” Earline’s nose wrinkled. “Two might be a bit long. He might break out a window or something, trying to make his getaway.”
“You’re serious?” I could barely get the words out. “You want to lock them up in the wedding facility?”
“Well, do you have a better idea?” Earline looked a bit perturbed that I’d questioned her idea. “I can’t come up with anything else.”
“What’s his favorite food?” Dwayne Sr. asked. “Figure that out, then get Bonnie Sue to make it for him. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
“You might have more luck getting him to make something for her,” Earline said. “From what I gather, Bonnie Sue isn’t the best cook around.”
“No, you are, dear.” Dwayne gave Earline a kiss on the cheek. “So find out his favorite food, cook it, then deliver it to him, saying it’s from Bonnie Sue.”
“You’re asking me to lie?” Earline pursed her lips. “Well, I might consider it if it’s for a good cause.”
I slapp
ed myself on the forehead, not quite believing any of this. I’d never known Earline Neeley to tell a lie, even a little white one. Something had surely grabbed hold of her now to make her consider it. Guilt over breaking Mayor Deets’s heart, perhaps?
Dwayne sighed. “I’d hate to think we’d have to answer to the Almighty for lying. Let’s go back to your idea about locking them in the wedding facility together. I think we can make that happen.”
Lying is wrong, but kidnapping them is not?
“It’s crazy.” I couldn’t believe I’d said the words aloud, but there they were. “We can’t do that. It’s . . . immoral. And they’d probably end up killing each other in there, not falling in love. You know?”
“Oh, Bella.” Earline used her napkin to wipe sugar from the edges of her lips. “You’ve got a point. I just don’t know what else we can do. Maybe Twila and Jolene will have some thoughts on the matter—no doubt they will.”
“Twila will think this is crazy, and she’ll worry that it’ll affect her campaign for mayor.” Bubba shook his head. “But who am I to give love advice?”
“I’ve got the best idea yet,” D.J. said. We all looked his way and he added, “We could pray that God resolves this in his time and in his way, and we could trust that he’s big enough to figure it out on his own without our input.” My sweet husband popped a broken cookie in his mouth and leaned back in his chair as if he’d just settled the whole thing. Did he not realize who we were dealing with here?
“Well, having them fall in love is the best way, but I suppose I should leave it in his hands.” Earline nibbled on her pie. “I’ve never been one for bossing the Lord around, so we’ll leave it up to him.”
Sure she would. Just like the Splendora ladies would leave the situation with Cecil and Lily alone. Just like the mayor would leave the Neeley family alone.
In Splendora . . . no one left anyone alone.
16
It Was Almost Like a Song
If you talk bad about country music, it’s like saying bad things about my momma. Them’s fightin’ words.