Page 18 of T Is for Trespass


  I spotted six neatly stacked magazines on the coffee table. I picked up the first, a copy of last week’s TV Guide. Under it was the November 1982 issue of Car & Driver and under that was an issue of BusinessWeek from the previous March. A few minutes later Juanita Von reappeared. “Out,” she said, sounding entirely too satisfied for my taste.

  “Not to get repetitive here, but do you have any idea when he’ll be back?”

  “I do not. As a proprietor, I’m strictly hands-off. If it’s not my business, I don’t inquire. That’s my policy.”

  Thinking to endear myself, I said, “This is a wonderful old house. How long have you owned it?”

  “Twenty-six years this March. This is the old Von estate. You might have heard of it before. Property once stretched from State Street to Bay and covered twelve square blocks.”

  “Really. It’s quite a place.”

  “Yes, it is. I inherited this house from my grandparents. My great-grandfather built it at the turn of the century and gave it to my grandparents the day they were married. It’s been added onto over the years as you can tell. Corridors go every which way.”

  “Did your parents live here as well?”

  “Briefly. My mother’s people were from Virginia, and she insisted that they move to Roanoke, which is where I was born. She didn’t much care for California and she certainly had no interest in local history. My grandparents knew she’d talk my father into selling the property once they were gone so they skipped a generation and left it to me. I was sorry to have to break it up into rental units, but it was the only way I could afford the upkeep.”

  “How many rooms do you have?”

  “Twelve. Some are larger than others, but most of them have good light, and they all have the same high ceilings. If I ever come into money, I intend to redo the public rooms, but that’s not likely to happen any time soon. I sometimes discount the rent a bit if a tenant wants to paint or fix up. As long as I approve the changes.”

  She began to tidy the magazines, her attention turned to the task so she wouldn’t have to make eye contact. “If you don’t mind my asking, what’s your business with Mr. Downs? I’ve never known him to have a visitor.”

  “We believe he witnessed an accident in May of last year. This was a two-vehicle collision up near City College and he offered assistance. Unfortunately, one’s now suing the other for a large sum of money, and we hope he has information that might help settle the dispute.”

  “Way too many people suing in my opinion,” she said. “I’ve served on juries in two different lawsuits and both were a waste of time, not to mention the taxpayers’ dollars. Now, if we’re done chatting, I’ll get on with my work.”

  “Why don’t I leave Mr. Downs a note and he can contact me. I don’t want to turn into a pest.”

  “Fine with me.”

  I took out a pen and a spiral-bound notebook, dashing off a note, asking if he’d get in touch at his earliest convenience. I ripped the leaf from my notebook and folded it in half before I handed it to her with one of my business cards. “There’s a machine on both these numbers. If he can’t reach me directly, tell him I’ll return the call as soon as I can.”

  She read the card and sent me a sharp look, though she made no comment.

  I said, “I don’t suppose I could trouble you for a quick tour.”

  “I don’t rent to females. Women are usually trouble. I don’t like gossip and petty bickering, not to mention feminine-hygiene products interfering with the plumbing. I’ll see Mr. Downs gets your note.”

  “Fair enough,” I said.

  I stopped by the supermarket on my way home. For once, the sun was out, and while the temperature was still riding in the low fifties, the sky was a bright clear blue. Charlotte’s Cadillac was parked across the street. I let myself in and unloaded my shopping bags. I’d noticed a batch of fresh bread dough proofing in a cradle that Henry kept in the glass-enclosed breezeway between my place and his. He hadn’t made bread for ages and the notion put me in a good mood. Having been a professional baker by trade, he’d make eight to ten loaves at a time, and he was generous about sharing. I hadn’t talked to Charlotte in a week, so once my kitchen was tidied up, I trotted across the patio and knocked on Henry’s door. I could see Henry at work, and judging from the size of the kettle on the stove, he was making chili or spaghetti sauce to go with his bread. William was seated at the table, with a cup of coffee in front of him, an odd expression on his face. Charlotte stood with her arms crossed, and Henry was whacking an onion with a vengeance. He reached over and opened the door for me, but it wasn’t until I’d closed it behind me that I tuned in to the tension in the room. At first I thought there was a problem with Gus because the three of them were so silent. I figured William had gone next door to visit him and brought back a bad report, which was only partially true. I found myself looking from one stony face to the next.

  I said, “Is everything okay?”

  Henry said, “Not really.”

  “What’s going on?”

  William cleared his throat, but before he could speak, Henry said, “I’ll handle this.”

  “Handle what?” I asked, still clueless.

  Henry used the knife blade to sweep the onion aside. He laid out eight cloves of garlic and used the flat of the same blade to crush the cloves, which he then chopped. “William went over to Gus’s for a visit this morning and saw Charlotte’s business card on the coffee table.”

  “Oh?”

  “I shouldn’t have mentioned it,” William said.

  Henry sent a hot look in Charlotte’s direction and I realized then that there was a dispute under way. “These people are my neighbors. I’ve known some of them for the better part of fifty years. You went over there to hustle real estate. Gus was under the impression that I sent you over there to talk about the sale of his home when I did no such thing. He has no interest in putting his property on the market.”

  “You don’t know that. He was totally unaware of how much equity he’d built up or the use he could make of it. Of course he knew he’d bought the lot next door, but that was fifty years ago, and he didn’t understand how that half-acre ownership enhanced the overall value. People are entitled to information. Just because you’re not interested doesn’t mean he’s not.”

  “Your efforts reflected poorly on me and I don’t appreciate it. From what his nurse says he was close to collapse.”

  “That’s not true. He wasn’t the least bit upset. We had a nice chat and he said he’d think about it. I was there less than twenty minutes. There was no pressure whatever. I don’t operate that way.”

  “Solana told William you were there twice. Once to talk to her and then a second time to discuss the matter with him. Maybe you don’t call that pressure, but I do.”

  “He was sleeping the first time and she said she’d pass the information along. I went back at her request because she wasn’t sure she’d explained it properly.”

  “I asked you not to do it at all. You did an end-run around me.”

  “I don’t need your permission to go about my business.”

  “I’m not talking about permission. I’m talking about simple decency. You don’t go into a man’s home and cause trouble.”

  “What trouble are you talking about? Solana’s the one who has everyone all riled up. I drove all the way up from Perdido this morning and here you are being pissy with me. Who needs it?”

  Henry was silent for a moment, opening a can of tomato sauce. “I had no idea you’d take such liberties.”

  “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I really don’t think you have the right to dictate my behavior.”

  “That’s entirely correct. You can do anything you want, but keep my name out of it. Gus has health problems, as you well know. He doesn’t need you waltzing in there acting like he’s on his deathbed.”

  “I did no such thing!”

  “You heard what William said. Gus was beside himself. He thought his house was being so
ld out from under him and he was being sent to a nursing home.”

  Charlotte said, “Stop that. Enough. I have a client who’s interested…”

  “You have a client in the wings?” Henry stopped and stared at her in astonishment.

  “Of course I have clients. You know that as well as I do. I haven’t committed a crime. Gus is free to do anything he wants.”

  William said, “At the rate he’s going, you’ll end up dealing with his estate. That should settle it.”

  Henry banged his knife down. “Goddamn it! The man is not dead!”

  Charlotte snatched her coat from the back of the kitchen chair and shrugged herself into it. “I’m sorry, but this discussion is at an end.”

  “Conveniently for you,” Henry said.

  I expected to see her stomping out the door, but the two weren’t ready to disengage. As with any clash of wills, each was convinced of his position and righteously annoyed with the other’s point of view.

  “Nice seeing you,” she said to me, buttoning her coat. “I’m sorry you had to be a party to this unpleasantness.” She took out a pair of leather gloves and put them on, working the leather over her fingers one by one.

  Henry said, “I’ll call you. We can talk about this later when we’ve both calmed down.”

  “If you think so little of me there’s nothing left to say. You’ve as good as accused me of being insensitive, untrustworthy, and unscrupulous…”

  “I’m telling you the effect you had on a frail old man. I’m not going to stand by and let you bulldoze right over him.”

  “I did not bulldoze over him. Why would you take Solana’s word over mine?”

  “Because she has nothing at stake. Her job is to look after him. Your job is to talk him into selling his house and land so you can take your six percent.”

  “That’s offensive.”

  “You’re damn right it is. I can’t believe you’d employ such tactics when I specifically asked you not to.”

  “That’s the third time you’ve said that. You’ve made your point.”

  “Apparently, I haven’t. You’ve yet to apologize. You defend your so-called rights without any regard to mine.”

  “What are you talking about? I mentioned the value of homes in this area and you assumed I intended to muscle my way in, abusing your neighbors in order to make a few bucks.”

  “The man was in tears. He had to be sedated. What do you call that, if not abuse?”

  “Abuse, my ass. William talked to him. Did you see anything of the sort?” she asked, turning to him.

  William shook his head in the negative, studiously avoiding eye contact so one or the other wouldn’t suddenly lash out at him. I kept my mouth shut as well. The subject had now shifted from Charlotte’s visit to Solana’s account of it. At the rate they were going at it, there was no way to cut in and broker a truce. I wasn’t good at that stuff anyway, and I was finding it tough to get a handle on the truth.

  Charlotte plowed right on. “Did you talk to him yourself? No. Did he call you to complain? I bet not. How do you know she’s not making it up?”

  “She didn’t make it up.”

  “You really don’t want to hear the truth, do you?”

  “You’re the one who doesn’t want to listen.”

  Charlotte picked up her handbag and let herself out the back door without another word. She didn’t slam the door, but there was something in the way she shut it that spoke of finality.

  In the wake of her departure, none of us could think of a thing to say.

  William broke the silence. “I hope I didn’t cause a problem.”

  I nearly laughed because it was so obvious he had.

  Henry said, “I hate to think what might have happened if you hadn’t brought it up. I’ll talk to Gus myself and see if I can persuade him that he and his house aren’t in jeopardy.”

  William stood and reached for his own overcoat. “I should go. Rosie will be setting up for lunch.” He started to say something more but must have thought better of it.

  Once he was gone the silence lingered. Henry’s chopping had slowed. He was preoccupied, probably replaying the argument in his head. He’d remember the points he scored and forget hers.

  “You want to talk about it?” I asked.

  “I think not.”

  “You want company?”

  “Not at the moment. I don’t mean to be rude about it, but I’m upset.”

  “If you change your mind, you know where I am.”

  I went back to my place and got out my cleaning supplies. Scrubbing bathrooms has always been my remedy for stress. Drink and drugs before noon on Saturday was too sordid to contemplate.

  In the unlikely event that I hadn’t been exposed to enough conflict for one day, I decided to pay a visit to the Guffeys out in Colgate. Richard Compton had left a message the day before on my office machine, indicating that the Guffeys still hadn’t paid their rent. He’d gone into court Friday morning and filed a Complaint of Unlawful Detainer, which he wanted me to serve. “You can add it to your invoice. I’ve got the paperwork right here.”

  I might have argued the point, but he’d given me a lot of work of late, and Saturday is a good day for catching people at home. “I’ll swing by your house on the way out there,” I said.

  19

  I fired up my trusty Mustang and made the detour to Compton’s house on the Upper East Side. Then I headed north on the 101. Deadbeats tend to be centrally located. Certain neighborhoods and certain enclaves, being run-down and cheap, apparently attract like-minded individuals. Perhaps some people, even those in the crudest circumstances, were still living beyond their means and therefore got sued, served, and summoned to court by those to whom they were indebted. I could imagine a population of the fiscally irresponsible exchanging tricks of the trade: promises, partial payments, talk of checks in the mail, bank errors, and lost envelopes. These were the people who imagined they were somehow exempt from accountability. Most matters that passed through my hands spoke of those who felt entitled to swindle and deceive. They cheated their employers, stiffed their landlords, and blew off their bills. Why not? Going after them took time and money and netted their creditors little. People without assets are bulletproof. You can threaten all you like, but there’s nothing to collect.

  I circled the four-building complex, checking the space in the carport assigned to Apartment 18. Empty. Either they’d sold their vehicle (assuming they had one to begin with) or they were out on a happy Saturday jaunt. I continued around the block and pulled up across the street from their apartment. I took a paperback mystery novel from my shoulder bag and found my place. I read in the peace and quiet of my car, glancing up at intervals to see if the Guffeys had come home.

  At 3:20, sure enough, I heard a car rattling and coughing like an old crop duster on approach. I looked up in time to see a banged-up Chevrolet sedan turn down the alleyway and into the Guffeys’ carport. The vehicle resembled many I’ve seen advertised by vintage-car nuts who buy and sell “classic” cars composed entirely of rust and dings. Dismantled, the parts were worth more than the whole. Jackie Guffey and a man I pegged as her husband came around the corner of the building with their arms loaded with bulging plastic bags from a nearby discount store. Their failure to pay their rent must have given them lots of extra cash to spend. I waited until they’d disappeared into the apartment and then I got out of my car.

  I crossed the street, climbed the stairs, and knocked on their door. Alas, no one deigned to respond. “Jackie? Are you in there?”

  After a moment, I heard a muffled “No.”

  I squinted at the door. “Is that Patty?”

  Silence.

  I said, “Is Grant home?”

  Silence.

  “Anyone?”

  I took out a roll of duct tape and affixed the notice of unlawful detainer to the front door. I knocked on the door again and said, “Mail’s here.”

  On my way home, I slid by the row of boxes
outside the main post office and sent a second copy of the notice to the Guffeys by first-class mail.

  Monday morning, I woke early, feeling anxious and out of sorts. Henry’s quarrel with Charlotte had unsettled me. I lay on my back, covers pulled up to my chin, and stared up at the clear Plexiglas skylight above my bed. Still dark as pitch outside, but I could see a sprinkling of stars so I knew the sky was clear.

  I have a low tolerance for conflict. As an only child, I got along with myself very well, thanks. I was happy being in my room alone, where I could color in my coloring book, using the crayons from my 64-shade box with the sharpener built right in. Many coloring books were dumb, but my aunt made a point of purchasing the better specimens. I could also play with my teddy bear, whose mouth would lever open if you pressed a button under its chin. I’d feed the bear hard candy and then turn him over and undo the zipper in his back. I’d remove the candy from the little metal box that passed for a tummy and eat it myself. The bear never complained. This is still my notion of a perfect relationship.

  School was a source of great suffering to me, but once I learned to read, I disappeared into books, where I was a happy visitor to all the worlds that sprang full-blown from the printed page. My parents died when I was five, and Aunt Gin, who took over the parenting, was as unsociable as I. She had a few friends, but I can’t say she was intimate with anyone. As a result, I grew up ill prepared for disagreements, differences of opinion, clashes of will, or the need for compromise. I can handle contention in my professional life, but if a personal relationship turns testy, I head for the door. It’s simply easier that way. This explains why I’ve been married and divorced twice and why I don’t anticipate making the same mistake again. The spat between Henry and Charlotte was making my stomach hurt.