He stopped, his breath coming faster and his cock aching as he imagined her face, her scent, the sticky-sweet feel of her cunt, her thighs, the way she tasted. He fell into such a desolate spot when he knew it would be unfair to send the letter, just as unfair as the fact he’d never do those things with her again.
“Roman, you need to choose. Three women, all lovely, all amenable to marriage. Just blasted choose.” His father glared at him from the head of the table. The letter still lived in Roman’s head, and he’d far rather be with Abbie right then than discussing marriage with his father.
“Grandfather, he’s a little busy right now. Let up,” Corrin interjected smoothly.
“Bah. Busy. I heard you were in a courtroom with that woman today. You promised to stay away from her.”
“Marcus’s son is on trial for his life. Of course I went. Deimos was there, too. Anyway, I haven’t said a word to her since we spoke last. Three weeks and I’ve done your bidding. I’ve escorted women out to the theater, let you negotiate to procure one for my wife even. Stop complaining.”
“You’re mouthy.”
Roman looked at his father and then to his sister, who hid a smile behind her napkin. “I am. I’m told I come by it honestly.”
“What are you going to do when she addresses the Council next week?” Alexander asked.
“Listen to her proposal. Given the current climate, I will most likely not speak until everyone else has.”
Deimos looked at him and put his glass down. “You’d not support her? Her proposal is sound, you know that. If you supported her right off, she’d have an easier time of it.”
“Or it could harm her because everyone would think he supported her because she had sex with him,” Alexander said with a shrug. “I think you should simply not go that day. I’ll take your place, or have Deimos do it.”
“Why let her speak at all?” his father asked.
“Because she makes sense. Because right now I have had to order federal troops out into the streets of several cities across the ’Verses to keep the unranked calm after yesterday’s testimony at Perry Walker’s trial for treason. We can’t ignore the unrest.”
“Last time I checked, we were in charge. Why let them lead us around like pets?” His father sent an arched brow right back at him.
“I know you’re being deliberately provocative but I’m too tired to play with you tonight. I had to endure a terse and tedious comm with Supreme Leader Fardelle. The man is oily. He denied, of course, that he had anything to do with the recent problems on the Edge. Said the skirmishes in the border ’Verses were provocations on our part. He demanded to negotiate on the so-called shared governance of three border ’Verses.”
“I hope you told him to shove his proposals up his arse!”
Deimos laughed.
“In more diplomatic terms, yes, but I did tell him we weren’t negotiating to hand over any of our ’Verses and to back off the edge. Ellis got involved then. The man is frightening when he gets very gruff. He stared Fardelle into a stammering mess.” Roman had been very proud of his comandante at that moment.
“I hear tell the unranked in some of the ’Verses have been hanging banners with Abbie Haws’s likeness on them. She’s becoming a symbol, Roman.” Alexander paused and took a drink. “Be sure she’s not martyred.”
Roman nearly choked.
“What? Do you think I’d endorse assassinating our lovely Ms. Haws? Do you think so little of me?” Alexander’s question sounded genuine.
“I don’t know what to think of you. But I don’t think little of you. I just think little of some of your opinions and how you go about your romantic entanglements. I think you’re a good man to my children, to your sister, to your parents and, yes, to me. But I’m wary of this seeming change of heart on your part. What makes you suddenly so concerned about Abbie?”
“Your Ms. Haws cares more about Ravena than just about anyone I’ve ever met. I had her investigated, of course, when Saul first came to me. I learned much about her. And then every time I had any interaction with her, she simply proved to be an astonishing person. Bold. Pushy. Mouthy even. I can see why you want her. Even as I can see why you’ll never have her. In any case, I’m not in favor of tearing down our entire system of governance. But that’s not what she’s asking. She’s brave, your Abigail. I like that. I’d seduce her as quick as a blink if I could, you should know that. I’d love to possess a woman like her. But Deimos and Corrin would be angry with me and she’d expect me to marry her or some such nonsense.” Alexander waved it away, attempting to fall back to shallow, and Roman realized, although not for the first time, how complex his brother was and what a shame it had been for their father to have been so focused on the first son and none of the rest.
Thank the gods he’d made every effort to include Corrin and let him know his worth. The boys didn’t seem to have the same sort of rivalry and resentment Alexander and Roman had. Corrin preferred to create art and travel, which was a relief to Roman. He didn’t want to have to choose between his boys that way.
“Thank you for your honesty, Alexander. It occurs to me that I have many meetings and only so much time. If I could impress on you to perhaps represent the Family at them more often, that would help me greatly.”
Sophia smiled at him and then at Alexander, and Roman branded himself a fool for taking forty years to reach this point. But as the whole damned Federation seemed to be teetering on insanity just then, it was time to make steps, new steps, toward a better sort of unity and understanding.
Chapter 32
Abbie had been up since long before the sun, as she always was on a summation day of trial. She went out for an early morning walk in the cold. Snow fell but melted before it hit the ground. The cold narrowed her focus, kept her sharp as she ran her summation through her head. The bodyguard she wasn’t supposed to notice hung back, and a new one kept ahead of her. She supposed it was the lovely death threat delivered to her building’s doorstep the day before.
Daniel had gone off the deep end, insisting she either let him stay there or she stay with him at his flat. His cold, very small flat, reeking of single male. She’d tossed blankets and a pillow at him and made up her couch for him.
On her way back she stopped at Nyna’s and got some kava while her mother chatted to her and made her breakfast. Daniel sauntered in and sat next to her. Her mother simply kissed his cheek and put two plates out. She must have known Daniel would show up.
“Mai, can you make up some kava and rolls with some meat and cheese? The guys watching me are probably cold and hungry.”
“Abbie, they’re working, not on a holiday.” Daniel groaned but he took the hot kava and breakfast rolls out to them himself.
“Your brother is a good boy. Thank the gods none of my children got their character from their father.”
Abbie never knew what to say to things like that. So she took her mother’s hand and kissed it. “You’re the best, Mai. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother.”
“I would have done so many things differently.”
“And none of us would be who we are. I think we’re all pretty good people. But if you wanted to make some changes in your life, I know we’d all support that and help you however we could.”
“I’m too old for that. I have the bakery. If my intuition is right, I’ll be planning a wedding soon for Nyna and Marcus. All you kids are my life. Now eat. It’s summation day.”
Daniel came back and the two ate quickly and companionably before heading back to Abbie’s flat.
“I checked your new building out. It’s very nice. Warm. Your flat is on a lower floor, so you should get hot water quicker and heat quicker, too. It’s on a corner, so you have a lot of natural light and you’re closer to work. Get that look off your face, Abbie. You’re moving. It’s a safer, more secure building. It even has a doorman and lift keycard access.”
She tucked the last bit of her hair back and slipped into her shoes. “I feel guilty,
Daniel. Other people have waited longer for that flat! Why should I jump to the front of the line because my ex has power?”
“Abigail Haws, everything in Ravena is about power. Stop pretending it isn’t. How many times have you traded yours for someone else with less? I’ve seen you do it over and over. You are entitled to a little bit of selfishness. You’ve been on that list for three years. Take it, Abbie. Let him do this for you, if for no other reason.”
“You’re giving me that face.” She let him help her into her coat.
“It always works on you. Just give in now and save us both the wasted time of a charade that you won’t.”
“Hmpf.”
She didn’t really think about anything until she’d finished her summation. She walked into a crowded courtroom. The vid crews had shouted rude questions at her about the death threat and about her opinion on which bride Roman should choose.
Marcala began her summation, which was stilted and awkward. More so than usual because they didn’t have a case. And because Marcala was a thousand credits poorer and most likely had spent most of the day before after they adjourned being yelled at by her bosses for acting like an idiot and making the adjudicator censure her.
She had not proved her case. In Ravena, the charging party held the burden to prove guilt, and they hadn’t. Abbie didn’t bother to take notes. Nothing Marcala said was worth rebutting anyway.
A nod to Marcala, a polite good morning to the adjudicator, a hand squeeze to Jaron, and Abbie stood and began to speak. It all spilled out, the evidence and the lack thereof. She believed Jaron was innocent. She believed the inquisitor was wrong and she let her emotion, her belief guide her argument.
And then she sat down and sound rushed back to her. Her heart began to slow, returning to a normal rhythm as the adjudicator told them he needed time to decide and would call them back when he had.
Marcala rushed out without looking at Abbie.
She turned to Jaron and Marcus. “I don’t think it’s going to be long but you never know. Keep your personal comm with you and I’ll contact you. Go and get something to eat, all right?”
Jaron hugged her, surprising her. “Thank you, Ms. Haws. That speech you gave, well, it meant a lot to me to hear just how passionate you are about my defense.”
“You’re innocent, Jaron.”
Marcus hugged her and took his son out.
She didn’t go back to her office but stopped in at several places she needed to, filing some papers here and there, visiting a few clients, speaking with opposing barristers in a few cases. Just work to keep her brain busy. She didn’t want to leave the building because she just had the feeling it would be today that they heard.
And as it happened, it was. Not even two hours later, the comm came. She notified Jaron and headed back. That’s when she was waylaid by a vid crew.
“Will you be at the wedding then, Ms. Haws?”
She sighed and tried to move through. Her bodyguard made a hole and she headed through it. But just as she got to the doors she caught sight of a monitor to the right, and on it, Roman stood with his father and a tall blonde woman. The caption read: Agreement nearly reached in the marital negotiations between House Lyons and House Holmes.
“Go on. You can’t undo it. Don’t let it mess with your head,” the bodyguard whispered in her ear and pushed her through the doors and into the safety of the room.
Of course it would happen. She knew it would. Roman had told her it would and the negotiations were on the screen every minute of the day. But once the papers were signed it would only be a matter of weeks until the nuptials. There was a cooling-off period where either party could back out until the nuptials and so, over time, nuptials had gone very quickly after the deal was made to keep anxious parties from backing out.
She reached deep to find some calm, but that spot was very low on positive emotions. Abbie sat in a daze as Marcus and Jaron came in, as the room filled again and order was called.
When the adjudicator found Jaron innocent and freed him, she still felt nothing. She hugged father and son and accepted their thanks. The noise and chaos of the crowd moved around her as she headed to the doors.
Roman stood off to the side and when she made eye contact the tears came and she rushed out, her head down, her bodyguard rushing with her, holding an arm around her to keep people back.
“She knows,” Deimos said to his father.
“I know.” Inside he was devastated. His emotions had been tumultuous and then had flattened into nothingness, an empty, cold place until he’d seen her face and known the pain on it.
“She got a death threat last night,” Marcus whispered into Roman’s ear as they hugged.
He froze. Fear for her sped his heart. And then anger that he hadn’t been informed cooled his blood. “I’ll contact Ellis right away.”
“Are you coming to the celebration tonight? It’s at Nyna’s. I’m going to ask her to marry me. I wanted this to be over with first, but now that it is, I want to move forward with my life.”
“Congratulations, Marcus.” Roman smiled, meaning it. “Nyna is an amazing woman. You two are good for each other.” He paused. “But I can’t. Holmes is upset about the rumors concerning me and Abbie. I need to stay away from any contact with her. I can’t risk it and it won’t help anyway.”
Marcus sighed. “You don’t have to do this, Roman. You’re House Lyons. You make the damned rules.”
He shook his head. “Go on. I’ll talk to you in a few days.”
He didn’t speak to anyone on his way to Ellis’s office. Frustration that he hadn’t been told mixed with pain at having hurt the woman he loved so very much. He’d hoped absence from her would lessen his feelings, but in truth, he’d only come to appreciate her more. He watched her from afar, having known her intimately. He got to know her in a public sense. He saw how she handled the vid crews who shoved themselves into her life at every turn.
What woman could compare? The tall and pale, beautiful Hannah Holmes was cultured and soft. She was raised to occupy a certain space and she’d make a fine political match. But not a partner. Abbie would take up his life, fill it with laughter and passion, something he’d felt. And now the absence of it chafed. Left him unsatisfied in a way he’d never experienced before.
He entered Ellis’s office without knocking. His military comandante merely looked up from his vid conference and then back.
“I’ll get back to you. Be sure to keep an eye on her at all times. Comm with Daniel on it a few times daily.”
Wilhelm Ellis looked back to Roman. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
“Knock it off. Why wasn’t I notified of the threat against Abbie?”
“Believe it or not, Roman, I don’t conference you about everything that comes across my desk. Imagine how time-consuming it would be for us both if I bothered you with every little thing.”
“I’m not amused, Wilhelm.”
He laughed and sobered quickly when Roman didn’t join in. “Her brother is in charge of the guard team on her. He’s staying in her flat. She has two guards on her every minute of the day now. There are no surveillance cameras in her building, so we don’t have any real leads on who left the threat. It’s in a busy area, lots of foot traffic all day and night. I didn’t tell you because I knew Marcus would and because I wanted some deniability that you were using my office for personal favors for your ex-lovers.”
“I want to know everything, Wilhelm. I may not be able to be with her, but I love her and I want her safe. If that takes a team of ten people on her, make it so. I’ll pay for it myself. Send the bill to my home, not the office. This is not a joke. It’s her involvement with me that’s made her a target. I can’t let that stand.”
“Roman, it’s a combination of things. I hate to poke a hole in your ego and all, but she’s an icon right now. Over the last months her popularity as a symbol of increased freedom and visibility of a more empowered unranked class has grown exponentially. In the fou
rth ring there are banners with her likeness hanging from the public buildings. In the third and moving into the second ring there are fliers on the post boards with her face, quoting her words. Without you, she’d still be a target.”
He sighed. It wasn’t like he could prevent her from being Abbie, even if he wanted to. “I don’t want her to end up a martyr, Wilhelm. She’s addressing the Council in just a few days. Has the security been adjusted as necessary?”
Wilhelm smirked. “Believe it or not, I’ve been doing this for a little while. Yes, it’s been adjusted. I’ll send a report to your home comm with all the details. She’ll be all right, it’s my job to keep her that way. Now get out of my office, I have work to do and so do you.”
“Gods, one of these days I might get a staff who shows some deference,” Roman groused as he stood to leave.
“I respect you, that’s better.”
Roman snorted and left. It was better.
“By the gods, Abbie, you’re taking years off my life.” Daniel paced behind her as she packed.
“This isn’t about you, Daniel. I have to get out of here. I can’t see this vid coverage. I can’t. It destroys me every time I see it. There’s nothing left inside me but pain, and I cannot live this way. I’m sick of being strong. I’m sick of pretending I’m not broken inside. I am broken. My heart is broken. So I’m taking a few days. I have the time built up at work, that’s for sure. And Marcus was kind enough to offer his flat in the foothills. No vid screens. Just time alone. I can read and go on hikes and try to steel myself for this presentation I need to make.”
He hugged her from behind. “All right. You’re right, you deserve the time. But you can’t be alone. The second threat note sent to your office is more than enough reason for you to let me and another guard come. I’m sending someone ahead to make sure the flat is secure and safe. Don’t argue; it will make no difference.”