He looked down at Rena. “Tell me exactly what my mother said,” he ordered.
Rena put a hand over the one that gripped her side. “Ow, you’re pinching me.”
He instantly rubbed his hand soothingly over the area, but he didn’t release her. He sat up on his knees and pulled her to a kneeling position in front of him. “I need the truth. Tell me what you know.”
“It’s not pretty. I’m not even sure you’ll believe me. I barely believe it myself.”
Exposed to her more than just physically, Nick had never felt closer to Rena. “I trust you, more than I trust my own family. And I will never allow anyone to hurt you, Rena. Especially not one of them.”
Rena chewed her bottom lip, then met his eyes worriedly. “Your mother doesn’t want you working at Cogent, and she’s willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you don’t make it there. She said she has pictures of us she’ll give to the tabloids if I don’t encourage you to quit. Nick, I don’t care about photos. My father wouldn’t be happy, but it doesn’t scare me. What did scare me was when she said she knew just how to sabotage you. She said if I didn’t help her she’d get you to drink again, and you’d get yourself fired from Cogent.”
Nick didn’t doubt Rena, but it took a few moments for her words to fully sink in. “Why doesn’t she want me to work at Cogent?”
Rena shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Does Gio know what she said?”
“No, well . . . maybe. I told your uncle, Alessandro.” Rena tapped her forehead in self-reprimand. “I probably shouldn’t have said it in front of Maddy. Everyone on the East Coast might know by now. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. It’s just that Maddy was telling everyone about us. I went over to tell her to stop and then I found out she was telling your mother everything and I freaked.”
“You told Maddy about us?”
Rena nodded.
“Anyone else?”
“My mother knows.”
Nick rubbed Rena’s arms. As much as his stomach was still churning from what he’d discovered about his family, he also felt a certain amount of satisfaction from knowing that Rena was telling people they were together. “What did your mother say when you told her about us?”
Rena rolled her eyes. “What everyone else says about the idea of us together, but she doesn’t understand that I’m okay with how we are. My mother thinks I’ll do something foolish like fall for you, but that’s why we keep to our agreement. That’s why we have rules.”
Nick frowned. “I thought the rules were a game. You know, to keep it fun and exciting.”
Rena waved her hands emphatically in front of her as she spoke. “That too, but it also keeps me grounded in what is possible between us.”
Nick lowered his hands. “And that is?”
Rena slapped a hand on her bare leg. “Nick, we both know you don’t do relationships. You’ve never lied about that. I’d be a fool if I thought a little sex with me could change your nature. That’s how people get hurt—they have crazy expectations that the other person can’t live up to. I wanted to be with you, Nick, and I had to find a way to be okay with who you are, not who I wanted you to be. And I did. What we’re doing works. That’s why you can’t sleep over. I know it’s silly, but our Saturdays together are a treat I give myself. Like a vacation. You know it’s not forever, but you enjoy it while you’re there.”
Nick folded his arms in front of him. “Saturdays are really about keeping your expectations purely about sex, because that’s the only area in which you feel I won’t disappoint you?”
“It sounds really bad when you put it that way. I didn’t say that.”
Nick stood beside the bed. “Yes, you did.”
Rena scrambled to stand beside him. “Nick, let’s start over. I explained it all wrong.”
Nick held up a hand to halt her from saying more. “Save it. I couldn’t stomach hearing it twice.” He walked back into her living room not caring if Rena followed him, but she did. He pulled on his pants and shrugged back into his shirt without speaking to her. He was lacing up the second of his shoes when she spoke again.
“I’m sorry, Nick. I shouldn’t have said it the way I did.”
The sad look in her eyes only confused Nick more. He wasn’t angry with her—how could he be? He straightened and took in the beauty of her standing before him. Any self-consciousness she might have had about her nudity was overshadowed by the concern she had for his feelings. Which made what she’d said about him that much more bitter of a pill to swallow. “Rena, I’ve always admired your honesty. Thank you for telling me exactly what I needed to hear.”
Rena stepped in front of him just before he reached the door. “Will I see you tomorrow?”
He pulled her into his arms and gave her a tender, emotional kiss that left them both shaken, then set her back from him. “No,” he said simply and let himself out of her house, closing the door firmly behind him.
Chapter Sixteen
Rena didn’t leave her house on Saturday. She waited for Nick to change his mind and call her, or simply show up at her door. As hour after hour passed, she sought for something to distract herself. She emptied the cabinets in her kitchen, then reorganized them. But when she finished, instead of enjoying the calm such a task normally brought her, she felt profoundly sad.
One tear escaped, rolling down her cheek as she stood there in the silence of her kitchen, the only sound her own ragged breathing.
Nick isn’t coming today.
No one had to try to break us up. I did it myself.
She played and replayed their final conversation in her head. He came to me because he was upset and wanted to be with me. And what do I do? I tell him horrendous things about his family and then make it sound like I don’t care about him either.
He must feel so alone right now.
And it’s my fault.
She dug her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Nick’s number. Her call went directly to his voice mail—just like all the calls she'd placed since the night before. She sent him a text: Are you okay?
He didn’t respond.
She sunk to the floor and sat with her phone on her lap, waiting for the beep that accompanied an incoming message. As the silence dragged on, Rena’s eyes filled with tears that she couldn’t stop. One shallow sob led to a deeper one until they wracked her body and she wanted nothing more than to curl up in a corner and cry until the ache in her heart eased.
Blinded by the tears, she fumbled with her phone and dialed the number of the only person she knew would understand how she felt. She took several calming breaths while the phone rang, but started to cry again when her mother picked up. “Mom?” she asked in a tight, tear-laden voice.
“Rena? What’s the matter? Are you hurt?”
Rena sniffed. “Mom, you were right about everything. I should have listened to you. I thought if I protected myself, it wouldn’t hurt this much. I was wrong. Nick and I broke up and it hurts so much. I would come to you, but I don’t think I can drive. Can you come here, Mom?”
“Oh, baby, don’t go anywhere. I’m on my way.”
A few minutes later Rena heard the outer door of her house open and close. “Rena?” Kane’s voice bellowed through her house.
No.
Rena pulled herself off the floor and wiped away her tears with a paper towel. She blew her nose in a second one, then tried to cool her face with a third. She cleared her throat, stayed facing the sink, and called out, “In here.”
“Mom told Dad she was coming to the city because you’re upset. Dad asked me to drop by. What happened?”
Rena turned with a wet paper towel still in hand and leaned back against the sink. “Nothing I can talk to you about, Kane. That’s why I called Mom.”
Kane’s expression darkened as he studied Rena’s face. “You can tell me anything.”
Rena looked up at the ceiling before meeting Kane’s eyes. “You say that, Kane, but you’ll only hear what you want to hear if I
try to talk to you about this. And honestly, I don’t want to feel worse than I do right now, and you would make me feel worse, even if you didn’t mean to. So, Kane, can you just leave me alone until after I talk to Mom? I really can’t handle you right now.”
“Rena, did someone hurt you? Tell me who and I’ll . . .”
“See why I can’t talk to you? No one hurt me, Kane. I did this.”
“Whatever it is, Rena, I’ll make it right. Just tell me what happened.”
Fresh tears started to spill down Rena’s cheeks. “You can’t fix this for me, Kane. Could you stop thinking it’s your job to protect me and just listen to me for once?”
Kane walked over and leaned against the counter beside his sister. “Are you pregnant?”
Rena rolled her eyes.
Kane sighed. “I’m trying, Rena. You look like you just lost your best friend. What the hell happened?”
Rena wiped the tears from her cheeks and said, “That’s exactly what just happened.”
Kane slumped with relief. “That’s it? Thank God.”
Rena glared at him.
Kane pulled her to his side for a hug. “I’m not belittling what you’re going through. I just imagined at least ten possibilities I couldn’t live with.” He let out a long breath. “So, who did you have a fight with?”
“I didn’t fight with anyone,” Rena said sadly. “I just disappointed someone I care about very much in a way I never meant to.”
“You?” Kane pulled back and raised one eyebrow in doubt. “The person who is always trying to make sure everyone else is happy? You could never disappoint anyone.”
“You’d be surprised, Kane.”
“I’m here if you want to talk about it, Rena. I won’t say a thing. I’ll just listen. I promise.”
“There is a lot of crap going on right now, Kane, and I could use your advice with some of it, but I’m not a little girl anymore. You don’t have to run up to the bully in the playground and punch him out for me. If I tell you what’s going on, I want you to listen to the whole story and then do nothing if that’s what I ask you to do. Can you promise me that?”
“I don’t know.”
Rena looked up at her brother. “Swear to me you won’t say or do anything. If I tell you what happened and you make this situation worse, I won’t talk to you again, Kane. Not about anything that matters.”
Kane frowned. “I promise to only get as involved as you ask me to. Now, tell me, what happened.”
Rena squared her shoulders and said, “Nick and I just broke up.”
***
Nick had turned his phone off as soon as Rena’s first call had come in. He still wasn’t ready to deal with the emotions their last conversation had stirred in him. He’d spent the night walking the city’s streets, not wanting to go back to his hotel room but also not wanting to head to a club, as he once would have. He’d started off feeling angry at Rena for dismissing him, especially after he’d turned to her for comfort as he’d never done with others. For the first time in his life, he wanted to wake up next to the same person every day. And he wanted that someone to be Rena. It hadn’t been easy to hear she’d invested as much emotion in him as she would have a trip to Disney.
Not that he blamed her. His track record with women spoke for itself. What had she said—she’d be a fool to think sex with her could change him? While walking around the city, he’d thought about how could have responded instead of just walking away.
He could have told her it wasn’t the sex that had changed him, it was all the times they met in the hallway at work and talked about nothing. He looked forward to seeing her and doing absolutely nothing more than he’d ever looked forward to doing anything with anyone.
What had changed him? The way she smiled at him when she thought he wasn’t looking. The way she defended him when she thought he couldn’t hear her. Even those damn birthday cards. What kind of person keeps sending cards when the recipient never acknowledges them?
Rena. The most warmhearted, loyal woman he’d ever met.
A woman who had very sincerely told him he was good enough for sex and nothing more. The worst part was, when he looked at himself through her eyes, he had to agree with her.
As he’d continued to walk down the artificially lit streets of a city that never slept, Nick had admitted he was also angry that Rena had forced him to reassess everything he thought he knew about himself and his family.
He’d spent a good hour hating his mother and blaming her for everything that was or had ever been wrong with his life. He’d wasted some time pondering what had happened to make her the type of mother who would hurt her own children if they stood between her and what she wanted.
Finally, he’d stopped when he caught his reflection in a department store window. How Rena viewed him was a consequence of how he had lived his life until that point. He could have made better choices. He’d looked into his own eyes and acknowledged what he had been denying until then.
All of this is equally my fault.
He saw then that his mother had played on his insecurities and his pride. Both traits had been weaknesses, just as destructive to his life as his love of alcohol had been. It was time to leave them behind, as he had the bottle. Continuing down the street, he’d begun to see patterns in his life that he wanted—no needed—to break.
As the sun came up, Nick realized his seemingly random walk had led him to the high-rise building where Gio and Julia lived. He announced himself to the doorman, who placed a quick phone call upstairs. Then Nick was directed to the elevator that served his brother’s penthouse.
With his wet hair slicked back, Gio answered the door in a thick white bathrobe. Julia, also dripping wet, stood behind him dressed in similar attire. Gio said gruffly, “I hope this is important. Julia and I were—” He stopped there.
Julia added sweetly and blushed, “Showering.”
Nick ran a hand through his already mussed hair. “Can I come in?”
Gio opened the door wider, then told Nick to give them a few minutes to get dressed. Gio returned in lounge pants and a T-shirt. Julia had thrown on yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Still dressed in yesterday’s suit, Nick looked like a man on a walk of shame home—which would have been accurate if he’d had more than a hotel room to return to.
Nick shrugged awkwardly. “I probably should have called before coming over.”
Gio didn’t correct him.
Julia smiled at him again. “Would you like a cup of coffee, Nick?”
Nick waved off the idea. “No, don’t bother. I’m fine. This won’t take long.”
Gio shrugged in resignation and sat down. “You might as well have some, Nick. You look like shit, and we’re already dressed.”
Julia leaned over the back of the couch, wrapped her arms around Gio’s shoulders, and kissed his neck. Gio smiled and leaned into her caress while warmly rubbing her arm. Their obvious affection for each other was touching to witness. Julia straightened and said, “I’ll make a nice big breakfast, which will give the two of you time to chat.” She started to walk toward the kitchen, then turned back and said, “I’m glad you’re here, Nick. Gio is, too.”
When she was out of earshot, Nick said, “She’s really sweet, isn’t she?”
Gio’s expression remained guarded. “Cut the shit, Nick. What are you doing here? What do you want?”
Nick sat in the chair across from Gio. “I need to ask you a question, and I don’t want you to sugarcoat your answer. Give me the unfiltered truth.”
Gio rubbed the back of his neck like the idea gave him a headache, then said, “Ask away.”
“Do you consider me a full partner at Cogent?”
Gio clenched his hand on his lap. “That’s an interesting question. If you’re looking to cash out your share, we don’t have the liquid assets right now to do it.”
Nick sat forward. “I’m not talking about money, Gio. I’m asking if you’re including me in what’s really going on there, or if you??
?re feeding me projects that don’t really matter just to keep me occupied.”
“What do you want me to say, Nick? You want to take over one of the big contracts? Is that what you’re looking for? I can’t simply hand those to you. I won’t risk the future of Cogent just because your ego needs bolstering. You’ll get those contracts when you’re ready for them.”
Nick ran his hand through his hair again. “This isn’t about that either.”
“Then for God’s sake, Nick, don’t dance around whatever it is you’re trying to say. It’s too fucking early in the morning for me to play twenty questions with you.”
“Gio, I know there is something going on that has you worried. I don’t know what news came in last week, but it wasn’t good, was it?”
Gio took a deep breath before answering. “No, it wasn’t.”
“What did you find out?”
“I’m handling it,” Gio growled and stood.
Nick also surged to his feet and blocked his brother’s path. “Alone. Like you handled everything that happened when Father died.”
“Yes.”
“But you don’t have to. I’m right here, Gio. You said you wanted me working at the company with you. You said we’d run it together. If something is jeopardizing it, tell me. I can help.”
Gio shook his head. “Nick, this isn’t like a broken fax machine or a stubborn politician. I need to handle this one.”
“Because you’re trying to protect me, or because you don’t believe I’m as committed to Cogent’s success as you are? You may have worked there longer, but I am now just as invested as you are. If it’s a problem with raising capital, use my trust fund. I’m not going anywhere this time, Gio. I’m all in. But you’re going to have to trust me.”
Gio stared at Nick for a long, silent moment before saying, “It’s something I thought I had resolved a long time ago. I found the issue when I first took over the company. Money we should have had was missing. Large amounts of money. That’s why we were teetering. Someone had falsified accounting records to try to cover it. Bills were recorded as having been paid that weren’t. Big payouts. I couldn’t find who was responsible. I was afraid it was Father and that if the truth came out our family would be ruined. So I covered it up by pouring money into the company. My name is all over enough false documents to incriminate me if it were ever investigated.”