Damarius had an interception. Our quarterback ran one in himself for a touchdown. Special teams blocked a field goal for the other team that made us shut them out. Defense forced a safety. When we were together, we were unstoppable. Together, we scored 51 points. I had the least catches and yards I’ve ever had in a ball game, but we won by the most points. Teamwork was something impressive to see in action.
When the coach came up to me and gave me the game ball, I didn’t understand. “These guys played like a team tonight, Perry Skky Jr. Because you as a leader showed them that they all were worthy, I give the team ball to you.”
“And I give this ball back to the team,” I said as I looked around at them holding the ball in the air.
We all screamed in the locker room like little cheerleaders, but it was all a good thing. It was a hard-fought victory we deserved to be proud of. We took everything and gave up nothing. Everybody stepped up and the scoreboard showed it: 51-0. I’ll never forget it.
We had brought four buses up. The football team, cheerleaders and the band had ridden separately. With that dynamic score, the guys had talked our coach into letting the team integrate with friends for the ride back. When I came out the locker room, Tori was patiently waiting on me.
She rushed up to me. “What a great game!”
“Hey, girl. Feel like I ain’t seen you in forever,” I said as I kissed her on her cheek and spun her around.
It was refreshing to see her cute lil’ face. I remembered once during the game we were on defense, I glanced over and saw her jamming to the band’s music. I was proud. And to actually have her in my arms at that moment made me think maybe she and I would be okay after all.
“Briana and Ciara are holding us a seat on the last bus,” she said. I looked at her, puzzled. “No, you’re not just sittin’ with my girls; D and Cole are back there, too.”
I squinted as I realized she didn’t get what I was thinking. “Yeah, I’m sure they are back there, Tori. I’m just wondering if you sure that this is a good idea.”
“What?”
“Us going to the back of the bus with them. Do you know what they plan on doing back there?”
“Skky, hurry up, guy,” my coach yelled out. “Make a decision so we can we go. Now!”
She leaned over, touched my shoulder and bent me down to her mouth. I didn’t know what Tori was about to say. But the look in her eye was totally mischievous, like she was ready to be a bad girl for once.
She said, “I’m ready to be with you. I thought about it. Over the last couple of weeks, we’ve been sort of distant with each other. I know why. And I love you enough to go further to please you. Let’s go.”
She took my hand and pulled me to the last bus.
I pulled her back toward me and said, “Umm, come on. We gotta get on the first bus ’cause I gotta talk to you about a couple of things on the ride home.”
“The first bus? All the administrators ridin’ on that one so nothing can happen on there. Uh-uh, Perry. I’m sure. Seriously, come on.”
“Nah, babe. Not this way. I can’t.” I shocked myself with my statement.
Before I could second-guess my own decision, we were sittin’ right behind my coach on the first bus. So much stuff was going on in my head about why I didn’t take Tori up on her first offer. I could have had my way with her on that last bus.
Maybe it was Damarius’s run-in with a sexually transmitted disease. Maybe it was the doctor telling me he was proud of me that I was choosing to stand for something and put my hormones in check. Maybe it was the fact that though I knew what Tori was saying I didn’t really believe it.
She had been so strong to stand her ground for not wanting to go that way. Certainly, if she was ready, she would not want her first time being in front of a whole bunch of people. I had to protect her from herself. I had to protect us from giving something that we were not willing to get back. And deep down, I also wanted to please God. He had been blessing me this year with so much. Part of me didn’t wanna be ungrateful by going against His wishes.
Tori looked out the window and said, “What’s wrong with you? I thought that’s what you wanted.”
I grabbed her hand and gripped it really tight. “A month ago, that was all I thought about and all I ever wanted. But now, I need more than that. You’re right. We did drift apart, and I wanna get that back on track before we go making it all physical. I don’t want you to regret it, either. I want our first time to be right.” I kissed her on the cheek and she laid her head on my shoulder.
Halfway through the ride, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “Thank you.” She smiled. “I don’t really know if I was ready, but I don’t wanna lose you. So, thanks.”
I rubbed the top of her head as she laid back on my chest. I never said one word to Coach, but his head was nodding as he turned around and looked at me, letting me know he knew why I sat behind him. As he had told me, I did have a responsibility as a leader. Not just on the team, but in my relationship.
One day I hoped to be married and be head of the house and lead. But I couldn’t just suddenly lead one day in a married relationship. I’d have to practice along the way. And though I didn’t have it down, I was proud of how I was taking other people into consideration with how I lived my life.
I had only heard about the very beautiful campus Auburn University had. But while driving through the quaint town and seeing all the places, I was like, Wow! This lil’ place has it going on. It was just me and my parents. And Auburn was set to play LSU at home. It was going to be a great recruiting day.
We followed the signs to the parking lot. When we got there, we were amazed. We pulled right in front of the football facility. There was a shuttle that would take us down to the stadium. But before that, we toured the four-story building.
The practice fields were amazing. I don’t know what I expected college to be like. This was only my second recruiting trip, and I was certainly in awe. Before we headed down to the stadium, the wide receiver coach came and talked to us.
He told me, “While your parents meet with the academic advisor, I just wanted to touch base with you quickly and let you know having you as a Tiger would be great. Though you’re one of those Georgia boys, this school produces many pro players. And of course the great Bo Jackson won the Heisman from here.” He pointed to the powerful brass trophy that I’d love to obtain one day.
“Pat Sullivan, too, right?” I asked, seeing two.
“Correct. You can be the third. Our receivers shine here. They’re second to no one. That’s why we’re really trying to recruit the best.”
“Coach, I’m excited to be here. Honestly, I haven’t made any decisions yet, but Auburn is a great school. A solid team for years.”
“Well, son, we know you’ve got a sister at Georgia and we’re just trying to be honest here. We don’t mind rolling out the red carpet for extra-special recruits like you. Ones that we really want to sign with us.”
I stepped out onto the practice field and on the big screen was my highlight film. All of a sudden over the loudspeaker I heard my name called. One of the team members came out and handed me a jersey with “Skky” on the back. It looked nice in that blue and orange. All I knew was, Auburn was all right with me.
After we got shuttled over to the stadium, we were directed to a special entrance for recruits that was massive. It was gated off. You couldn’t come through unless staff ushered you in. We were greeted by all these pretty hostesses. One girl came and introduced herself to me as a Tigerette. Both me and my dad did a double take when some of those cute girls walked by. We were just joking, but my mom hit us both in the stomach. Finally, my pops and I had connected on something.
“There’s the Saxon Lee boy,” my mom said. “His mom—she and I talked in South Carolina. Let me go say hello.”
My dad and I connected again. He was feeling me. I was not excited. My mom shouldn’t consort with the enemy. There might be only one spot for a great receiver here.
Saxon and I were competing for the same thing.
I looked around and I didn’t see Saxon anywhere. My mom went off, though, to chat with the lady. When I turned around I did see a lovely sight: his sister, Savoy. Our eyes caught each other at the same time. She smiled, and it was perfect. Straight, bright whites, all glowing at me. Her mother was introducing her to my mom.
I was just about to head over there and join in on their conversation when an older white man touched my father’s shoulder. “Excuse me. Mr. Skky?”
My dad turned around and so did I. It was a guy that looked sorta familiar. I knew him from somewhere.
My father recognized him instantly. “Oh, Reverend Shadrach.”
The man said, “This is my son, Lance.”
I still was clueless. That name sounded familiar, too. Who were these people? I knew this guy was obviously a recruit. And for a white boy, he looked to have nice size. I wondered what position he was. Everybody was competition.
“Reverend Shadrach, this is my son, Perry. Perry, you know Lance. You hung out at his house a couple of years ago. This is Payton’s roommate’s brother.”
“Oh, yeah. I remember. I had forgotten for a quick second. You guys live in Conyers, Georgia.”
Lance shook my hand and said, “Yes, good to see you.”
I clearly remembered now: Lance was Laurel’s middle brother. Our sisters used to be roommates. They’d both made the Georgia cheerleading squad together and they were still good friends. I’d hung out at that house once briefly.
“Hey, man. You look different,” I said to Lance as I noticed his hair was a little longer. “Quarterback, right?”
“Yep and you’re a receiver. So Auburn’s looking at you, huh?”
“I guess.”
“You two need to head in there,” my father said as he made us notice the coach in the corner motioning for us. “I think they’re calling all recruits to go meet with the coaches before the game.”
Lance and I hit it off well. He told me his team was undefeated, Salem High School. I told him that maybe we would meet them in the Dome. He smiled. Before I left that room, I looked back for Savoy. Unfortunately, she was gone.
“I think we’re supposed to go this way,” Lance said to me when he clearly saw that I wasn’t paying any attention.
“Oh, thanks, man.”
He teased, “These Tigerettes got you.”
“Something better than that,” I said, referring to Savoy.
“I catch you lookin’ at my sister again, it’s gon’ be on,” a voice from behind me said. I knew it was Saxon.
“You know this guy?” Lance asked.
I joked, “Pssh. Not really. He’s one that you don’t wanna know, either.”
“Yeah, right. Step aside, man. Saxon Lee. You’re that quarterback from Conyers, right?”
“Yeah, Lance Shadrach.” They shook hands as Saxon sized him up.
“Your sister goes to Auburn? Our sisters go to Georgia,” Lance said, trying to put the pieces together.
“Naw, I got a twin sister that’s here with me, and I caught this sucker looking at her. And actually, Perry, she’ll probably like this dude more than you!”
Lance appeared not to understand. Saxon didn’t even know that I knew about his sister liking white boys. Nor did he know that I had a special evening with her, thanks to his cousin Tad. I couldn’t say that Savoy was into me, but I knew we had a special connection.
The three of us went on to watch the game together. Auburn and LSU went down to the wire. Thankfully, the Tigers from Auburn pulled it out, not the LSU Tigers. They had to go home with a loss. After the game, Savoy came toward Lance, her brother and me.
“Watch this, Perry. She ain’t even gon’ say nothing to you. She’s gonna talk to him first. Think you got skills, boy? Naw, you ain’t her type.”
Saxon was full of it, but I just laughed. I don’t know why boys always liked to gamble or compete. Why did it always have to be a challenge? But it didn’t matter. I didn’t even have to sweat it. Savoy walked right by her brother and Lance, and gave me a big hug. Her brother’s mouth dropped way to the ground. And then she gave me a kiss on the cheek. It was over for him then!
Saxon cut in between us. “Aww, heck, naw! What you doing kissin’ him? You don’t even know this boy.”
Savoy explained, “Tad’s girlfriend—”
“Yeah, Payton, the hot chick.”
“—this is her brother.” She pushed her brother back.
“You lying? This the dude you went out with?”
Lance and I slapped hands. I didn’t wanna seem too cocky in front of the lady. So, I excused myself to both fellas and walked away with Savoy hand in hand.
“So, you like Auburn?” she asked me.
Unable to take my eyes off her, I said, “I like what I see at Auburn.”
“Now, I know you ain’t flirting with me?” She batted her long eye lashes.
I couldn’t even answer the question. For some reason I was really attracted to her. For the first time I wondered if that was the reason why I was having mental pressure about going the extra mile with Tori. Maybe it didn’t have anything to do with my girl at all. Maybe it had something to do with saving myself for someone else.
“Flirting isn’t bad, is it? I gotta say you look great today.”
“Thanks,” she said flipping her hair in a way that made me even more into her. “Well, I didn’t know when I would see you. We gotta do better and stay in touch. How’s that girlfriend of yours?”
“As good as I’m sure that boyfriend of yours is. Maybe we need to get rid of both of them, so it’s just you and me.” I didn’t know where that came from.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, Perry Skky.” She thought I was teasing.
Her brother came over and said something to her, and my dad came over and said something to me. We mouthed bye to each other.
“Boy, you need to be over there impressing these coaches, not over here chasing skirts. What’s up?” my dad said as he cornered me.
“Dad, I was just saying hi to a friend. They’re related to Tad.”
My mom chimed in, “Yeah, I found that out.”
My dad was mad I was getting sidetracked. I was supposed to be here to check on the school. Not to check out Savoy Lee. And I was straight with that, since her brother acted like he had issues with that, anyway.
I saw two coaches calling for me to come toward them. I wasn’t done wanting to chat with Savoy. But, I’d been learning how to suppress my own desires. I guess I was doing okay yielding to others.
6
Seeking True Purpose
“Lord, I can’t believe I’m eighteen today,” I said on September twenty-eighth, as I rolled over and looked up at the ceiling.
Being one of the first in class to have a birthday has been real cool over the years. I was always a little bigger and got my license before people, but this birthday made me a little apprehensive about being the first one to turn the big 1-8.
I still lived at home with my parents, and had many months before I was out on my own. But I knew I was a man. I often thought about the possibility of going to war now and how scary that sounded. I thought about being able to vote, hoping I’d make the right choices. Yeah, I’d waited to be eighteen for a long time, and now it was finally here.
I continued:
“Lord, I just pray that I can make You proud. I’m a little confused today even though it should be a great day for me. Maybe it’s because I’m not where I need to be in my relationship with You. I don’t know what I’m asking, ’cause I don’t know if I’m ready to completely commit to do right yet. All that church-going stuff and speaking in tongues and everything just really ain’t my style right now. But I do have a true heart to please You. And if You can do anything with that, then I’m all Yours. Amen.”
My birthday was going by real fast. I didn’t have major plans, but I was surprised that Tori couldn’t hang out with me. She said she had something else to do but would make i
t up to me next week. Leave it to my boys to always come through. Though when they started talking about going to some abandoned warehouse for a party, I just had to protest.
“Aww, man. Just trust us, Perry. Can’t you loosen up a lil’ bit?” Damarius asked.
“We know you don’t want anything too wild and you ain’t trying to pick up no chicks. Trust us. We got yo back. It’s just a little party. Relax and have a good time,” Cole said.
“Fine, whatever.” I just rode and trusted they knew where to take me.
When we got to their “new spot,” cars were everywhere.
“Who’s having this party, anyway? And are y’all sure we invited? How did y’all hear about this?”
Damarius didn’t answer me. He just got on my cell phone and called somebody. As soon as we opened up the steel door, people from everywhere shouted, “Happy Birthday, Perry! Surprise!” I could’ve gotten both of those jokers. They had gotten me so good. Then my sister and my parents walked up.
“You know I couldn’t lose our folks,” my sister said as she hugged me and whispered in my ear. “Tad and Dakari brought over some of their friends, so the party is off the chain!”
It was a bye week for University of Georgia, so I guess my birthday came at the right time. Tad came and slapped hands with me. Dakari and a few other Georgia boys hollered at me next.
“You see we tryin’ to cheat,” Dakari joked. “We want you to come and play for us. But we gon’ head to da ATL. We just had to come say Happy Birthday Bulldog-style.”
“All right, all right,” I said to him as I greeted some of their teammates.
“Enough of all the family stuff, move away!” Damarius joked.
My moms wasn’t thinking ’bout him, though. She walked up to me and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. “My baby’s getting’ so big!”
“Mom, come on.” Of course I was embarrassed.