“Belle promised me she’ll be on her best behavior today,” Lillie said.
“You speak horse language, too, besides all your other talents?” Fear made me sarcastic, but Lillie didn’t seem to notice.
“I can teach you to talk to her, if you want. A horse will do whatever you ask if she knows what you’re asking. And if she knows you’re listening to what she has to say.” I stood with my hands on my hips, certain that Lillie was making this up. “For instance,” she continued, “when a horse flattens both ears back on her head, she’s irritated.”
“She does that a lot.”
“When she blinks her eyes like she been doing just now, that means she’s thinking things over. And see how she’s got her hind leg cocked up? That tells you she’s relaxed. But you gotta watch out. If her leg is cocked and her ears go back, she’s getting ready to kick you.”
I took a step backward, just in case.
“And if she starts pawing the ground, she’s going down—and taking you with her if you’re on her back.”
“What do I do then?”
“Don’t worry. Belle promised she’d behave for you. Horses are simple creatures, honey. They can go forward and backward, left and right, up hills and down hills. You just gotta tell them which one you want.”
I had my doubts. And as Lillie looked me in the eye, I was certain that she could read all of them. “It’s time, honey,” she said quietly. “Go ahead and climb on.”
I moved the bench around to Belle’s left side. My arms and legs trembled so badly I could barely pull myself up and onto her back. Lillie untied the reins and handed them to me, then passed the sack of food up to me.
“You’ll be fine, honey. The Good Lord’s gonna watch over both of you today. You gonna be a blessing to somebody, I just know it.” She grinned, watching from the doorway as Belle started to move—in the right direction, for once—toward the creek. So far, so good. Belle found the trail and walked slowly up the creek bank, exactly like I wanted her to. I glanced over my shoulder just before the woods swallowed up the trail and saw Lillie waving at me. I didn’t dare let go of the reins to wave in return.
This was crazy! I was on a horse all by myself, riding into the woods, alone. Alone! Freddy and my family would never believe me when I told them about this—I barely believed it myself! At home the streets and sidewalks bustled with traffic and streetcars, and there were always other people around. Out here, there were only birds twittering and branches rustling—and the deep silence of the trees.
Part of me was terrified and a little angry at how I’d been coerced into this. But at the same time, I saw a side of myself that I hadn’t known existed. For the first time in my life I was having an adventure, not reading about one in a book. I was actually doing it! And all of the emotions that I used to feel when reading an exciting story—fear, suspense, dread, exhilaration—were intensified a hundred times in real life.
Belle plodded up the hill, going deeper into the forest. The woods seemed huge and empty. Every bad thing that could happen in a fairy tale happened in the woods. But as much as I feared the forest, I was much more afraid of Belle. What would I do if the stupid horse decided to give me a hard time now that Lillie and Cora weren’t around to help me? I had been riding for only two days, hardly enough time to get the hang of it. But I comforted myself with the thought that this was the last time I would have to ride Belle. Tomorrow or the next day my uncle would arrive and take me home. Today all I had to do was deliver the books, then stop and have a talk with Mack. I’d tell him he would have to make other arrangements. In fact, he should ride back to the library with me and take care of Lillie and Belle and all of his books himself.
Belle paused when we reached Mack’s cabin at the top of the hill as if she wanted to pay him a visit. I let her catch her breath. “We’ll stop on the way home,” I promised her. “People don’t like it when we’re late with their books.” Belle shook her head, then started walking again.
I was beginning to relax a little when I remembered how the horse had scented the wildcat on the night Mack and I rode up here. A chill shivered through me. Wildcats lived in these woods. Cora had mentioned snakes, too. I had been afraid to ask if there were bears, fearing her answer. Did wild animals come out to hunt in the daytime? What would I do if Belle smelled a wildcat again and halted? It didn’t take me long to answer my own question: I would let her turn around and gallop home!
I began to feel more and more frightened. I didn’t know if Belle sensed my fear or not, but she suddenly stopped. “What’s wrong?” I whispered. She snorted in return. I looked all around. I sniffed the air the way that Mack had. I listened. The only sounds were the wind in the trees and a crow cawing. I nudged Belle’s sides and jiggled the reins. “Come on, girl. Let’s go.” She wouldn’t move forward. I was about to panic when I realized that we were at the ford. We were supposed to cross the creek here and take the trail to June Ann Larkin’s cabin.
“You’re right,” I said aloud. “I’m sorry . . . thank you for noticing.” I turned her to the left, and she plodded across the creek and up the trail to the Larkin place. I shook my head, embarrassed with myself. Not only was the horse smarter than me, but now I was talking to her the way Lillie did.
Before long, the cabin came into sight. Four days had passed since I’d been here and I wondered if June Ann’s baby had been born. As soon as we came into the clearing, her dog bolted out from behind the house, barking and snarling. Belle halted. As Rex flung himself at the rickety fence, trying to reach us, June Ann came to the door and called him back. She was still very pregnant. I rode up to the gate and slid to the ground, remembering to tie up Belle. June Ann waddled forward to meet me and gave me an awkward hug.
“Oh, thank the Good Lord you’re here, Allie. I’m all alone and I’m scared half to death!” A shiver went through me. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she sniffled as if she’d been crying. There was no sign of Wayne or the mule out in the field.
“Why? What’s wrong?” If something had scared June Ann, what in the world could I do about it? I was more terrified of these woods than she was and more of a stranger to them. I didn’t know how to shoot a gun. I glanced around nervously but didn’t see any imminent danger. “What’s wrong?” I asked again.
She didn’t reply. Instead, she doubled over, holding her stomach and uttering the most heartrending moan I had ever heard. My heart slithered down my chest and dropped into my stomach. I knew what was wrong, and now we both had a good reason to be terrified. “June Ann? Are you having the baby?”
“I reckon so . . . Oh, it hurts so bad!”
“Where’s your husband?”
The pain finally seemed to ease. June Ann stopped moaning and stood a little straighter. She lifted her apron and wiped the sweat from her face. “He rode off on the mule to fetch the midwife. You didn’t pass him on the way up, did you?”
“No. I didn’t see anybody.”
“Well, thank heaven you’re here. I was so scared, being here all by myself. You can’t even imagine how much it hurts! Like I’m about to die! Please stay with me. Please, Allie?”
“Okay . . . okay . . . I’ll stay. But I should warn you, I don’t know anything at all about having babies. Back home they always chased the unmarried girls away whenever it was a woman’s time so we wouldn’t see what goes on. I think they were afraid we’d never want to get married or have children if we found out what it’s like.” I didn’t tell June Ann, but in my experience, the secrecy only made girls like me even more frightened of the whole mysterious process.
“Oh, I seen babies birthed before,” she said with a wave of her hand. “My mama had eight kids and I was the oldest. It ain’t that I don’t know how it’s done. But it just hurts so bad! No wonder my mama used to scream like she was being torn in two. And my baby ain’t even coming out yet.”
Thank heaven for that.
“Maybe we should go inside,” I said. “Don’t you want to lie down or something???
? I was afraid that June Ann might double over in pain again any minute.
“Okay. Come on in.”
I followed her inside, but it was so dark and dreary and smoky in the windowless cabin that I was immediately sorry for suggesting it. As near as I could tell in the gloom, the house was much like Cora’s brother’s cabin with an open hearth and simple furnishings. An iron-framed bed stood in one corner.
“Do you want me to light a lamp?” I asked her.
“We can’t waste lamp oil. Wayne was saving up for glass windows, but then the mine shut down. I told him never mind. The cabin stays warmer in the winter without windows. There ain’t as many drafts.”
I stood in the middle of the dark room feeling helpless. “Is there anything I can do? I don’t know what to do. How far away does the midwife live? Will it take her very long to get here?”
“Well, it depends on which horse she’s riding—”
Before I could stop myself, I groaned. I should have been used to that answer by now, but I wasn’t. It frustrated me every time.
“What’s wrong?” June Ann asked.
“Nothing . . . Do you think they’ll get here soon?”
“Wayne says it might be a while because our mule don’t like to be ridden. He might have to walk a spell if it starts acting up.”
“How long ago did he leave?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. At least an hour. Wayne should be pretty near to Ida’s place by now, but if she ain’t there, he’ll have to go fetch Sadie, and who knows how long that’ll take.”
My knees went weak. I needed to sit down even if June Ann didn’t want to. I groped my way to the table and pulled out a chair, not waiting to be invited. June Ann stood beside me.
“They say the first baby takes a long time, but my pains started about sunrise and I’m already hurting real bad.”
“Do you have any neighbors I could fetch? The other day I brought books to a family a little ways up the creek, and they had a whole pile of kids.”
“You mean the Sawyers?”
“Yes, that’s the name. Mrs. Sawyer must know a lot more about giving birth than I do. I could ride up there and be back in a half hour or so.”
June Ann gripped my arm. “Please don’t leave me all alone!”
“H-how about your family? Do they live nearby? My mother always stays with my sisters and helps them out when they’re expecting.” Fear was making me babble. Surely June Ann’s mother would have come by now, if that were possible.
“Wayne won’t let me ask my mama, because his kin and mine are feuding.”
“What are they feuding about?” I wasn’t supposed to ask nosy questions, but it was all I could think of to say as I tried to stay calm and pass the time. June Ann was making me very nervous as she stood beside me, swaying back and forth and holding her belly as if rocking without a chair.
“Well, the story is that the feud started over money. My great-granddaddy and Wayne’s great-granddaddy was best friends. They came upon a whole pile of money, but they buried it in the ground and never said where. When they both died, each family accused the other family of stealing it instead of sharing. There’s been a lot of fighting over the years, and the families stopped talking to each other. Their children weren’t supposed to marry each other, but Wayne and me did get married and now everyone turns their backs on us. We was doing okay without their help until they had all that trouble and the mine had to shut down.”
“What trouble?”
“You know, when Hank Coots got killed and . . .” She paused, and I saw the color wash out of her face as if lifting a drain stopper. She started panting as though she had just run up a steep hill. Then she doubled over again, moaning and groaning like it was the end of the world.
I leaped to my feet, terrified. Should I rub her back? Hold her hand? I began to pray, silently crying out for help, meaning every word of it for once. I had been forced to do so many ridiculous things since coming here, but please, God, please, don’t make me deliver a baby!
At last June Ann’s pain eased. She stopped moaning and gave a heavy sigh. “Sorry. The booklet Cora brought me says that you can tell when the baby’s coming by how close together the pains get.”
“How close are they?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t have a clock or anything. How long you been here?” She looked at me and broke into a smile. “Goodness’ sakes, you look as scared as I am, Allie. Look at you! You’re as white as a sack of flour. I’m the one having the baby. You better sit down again.” I did.
“I am nervous, June Ann, I’ll admit it. I’ve been trying to remember everything I’ve read in novels about delivering babies. Aren’t we supposed to boil water or something?”
“I don’t know. Go ahead and boil some if you think it’ll help.”
It also seemed to me that a lot of women in novels died in childbirth, but I didn’t mention that to June Ann. “I’ll get some water if you tell me where it is.”
“The well’s out back. You can fill that kettle there on the hook.”
June Ann already had a fire going in the fireplace, but I stoked it and added more wood, then grabbed the cast-iron kettle. It wasn’t hard to find the pump out back, but it was impossible to get any water to come out of it. I worked the handle up and down, up and down, until my arm felt like it might pull out of its socket. At last the water began to trickle, then gush. I filled the kettle and hauled it back inside, turning the fire hook so the kettle would hang over the flames. I prayed the entire time I worked. Really prayed, talking to God the way my father did when he beseeched His help.
Done. The water was heating on the fire. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it once it boiled, but at least it would be ready when the midwife got here. Please, God, get the midwife here! Soon! June Ann watched me in mild amusement. I wondered what to do next.
“How about if I read a book to you?” I asked. “It might take your mind off everything.”
Her eyes brightened. “Did you bring me another book?”
“As a matter of fact, I did.” I got it out of my saddlebags, and since June Ann couldn’t afford to light a lamp, I dragged one of the chairs over to the open door and sat down to read. June Ann couldn’t stay seated, nor did she want to lie down on the bed. She paced back and forth as I read to her, stopping every now and then to double over and moan.
“Go on. Keep reading,” she would say after the pain faded away.
By the time I reached chapter three, I figured it must be lunchtime. I was hungry. I had brought a sandwich with me, so I got it out of my saddlebag and offered half of it to June Ann.
“No thanks. I don’t feel so good.” No sooner had she spoken than another labor pain struck and she doubled over, gripping her stomach. All of a sudden water began to gush as if she had dumped a kettle full of it on the floor. I jumped aside as some of it splashed onto my boots.
“What’s happening? June Ann! Is it . . . is it the baby? Is the baby coming?” I held my breath, waiting while she continued to grit her teeth and groan.
“Oh, Lord! It hurts, it hurts! Make it stop!”
But I had a feeling that the only time the pain would stop was when the baby arrived, and I certainly didn’t want to pray for that. She finally stopped moaning. June Ann swayed in place and leaned against the table as if she felt dizzy. I grabbed her arm and eased her onto a chair.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
“Sorry, Allie. I’m so sorry. I don’t reckon the baby’s coming yet, but my sack of waters just broke.”
“What does that mean?”
“Means the baby’s gonna come for sure now. But look at this mess!” She started to rise.
“No, stay there. You need to sit down. I’ll clean it up. Tell me where the mop is and I’ll do it. Do you want to change your clothes? And don’t you want to lie down?”
“I don’t have any other clothes . . . and it hurts too much to lay down.” I managed to mop up the water with some r
ags, then June Ann asked me to continue reading. It was a short book, and if the midwife didn’t come soon, I’d be reading “the end” with a baby on my lap. Every time I turned a page I prayed that the midwife would arrive before the baby did.
Finally, June Ann’s dog started to bark. I heard horses galloping up to the cabin. “Thank God!” I breathed. And I meant it. Wayne Larkin hurried into the cabin with Miss Ida, the midwife, and I was so relieved I wanted to hug them both.
The midwife made June Ann lie down so she could look her over, feeling her bulging belly. “It ain’t time yet,” Ida said, looking at me. “May as well be on your way.”
I went to June Ann’s bedside to say good-bye. “Thanks for staying with me,” she said. “I’m so glad we’re friends. You don’t know how much it means to me to have a friend. You’ll come back again, won’t you?”
Guilt squeezed my heart when I remembered that I would be returning to Illinois soon. I didn’t have the courage to tell her. “Sure, June Ann. I’ll stop by on my way home today. Maybe I’ll get to see your new baby.”
By now it was afternoon. I couldn’t decide whether to continue with my route or head home. I was too rattled to think straight. But when I got to the creek, Belle surprised me by turning upstream. Twenty minutes later, I recognized the trail marker—the pine tree and two rocks—and headed up to the Sawyers’ cabin.
“You’re back! You’re back!” the children shouted when they saw me. They insisted that I dismount and read from the storybook I had brought them. I explained to Mrs. Sawyer why I was so late, but she didn’t seem to take much interest in her young neighbor. I didn’t ask why.
My last stop was at the home of Cora’s brother Clint and his wife, Gladys. He was still bedridden. “Got any news today?” he asked. I knew that the other librarians not only brought books but also news of the outside world. Yet I had to be careful, as Cora had said, not to be nosy or spread gossip.