I'm certainly not saying they should go back to the Brian Williamses and Katie Courics. No! Lord, have mercy! Quite the opposite. The cultural shift is obvious, a shift that Obama picked up on. But replacing any type of traditional news source with acerbic comedians is crazy. Young people would rather laugh than think, feel than analyze. Humor is a feeling, so it plays right into the left's best weapon: emotion. It's the liberal disease: Give me free goods and services! Have those damned "rich" people pay for them! I'm entitled! Me, my, me, my! The left has gone from trusting Dan Rather and Brian Williams to following the likes of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Ideologues masquerading as "fake journalists." Of course, a generation raised on The Simpsons and South Park has a tendency to abandon a network evening format that hasn't changed in decades.
Stewart is cool! Colbert is cool! Obama is cool! See the narrative? Heck, back in 2006 Rolling Stone's cover story declared Stewart and Colbert "America's Anchors!" Matthew Kolasa, a University of Pennsylvania student, admitted that he learned a lot by watching The Daily Show. It's not just for laughs. "Within his political satire, Stewart makes really interesting points. He can make an argument with such smartness and wit. I think the U.S. senators could take a lesson from him."54
Taking on the image of an egomaniacal character comes easily to Colbert. His dark personal life, with the tragic deaths of his father and two brothers when he was a child, left him emotionally scarred, toying with his identity, even the identity of his last name. It was always pronounced Colbert, not Colbear. As a kid, he immersed himself in a fantasy world of role-playing games, science fiction novels, and Dungeons & Dragons. Colbert was a wandering actor, a wannabe poet, and a standup comic. He's devoted his life to playing someone else.55 It's an exercise in self-hatred. Hopefully Colbert finds his voice, not somebody else's.
There you have it--two men angry at life, masking their anger and sorrows in comedy; they are unpaid volunteers for liberalism, and cronies for Barack Obama.
Conclusion
A Six-Point Battle Plan for Awakening Obama Zombies from Their Brainless Slumber
Okay, so we've identified the chicanery of Barack Obama and his Zombie-inducing surrogates. We've blown past the rhetoric versus the reality. We've demonstrated that Obama is not the second coming of Jesus Christ. We've seen a president who distrusts his country, genuflects to dictators around the world, and takes massive dumps on the idea of American exceptionalism. Meanwhile, as we've also seen, the journalists covering him are more interested in being on the Messiah's good side and helping him govern than in holding him accountable.
So now I'm going to give you a few quick tools for deprogramming Obama Zombies and waking them from their slumber. Engagement is the key. John "Grandpa" McCain was an awful candidate with an even more awful youth outreach program. The GOP is in big trouble if they don't have steadfast engagement. The numbers aren't looking good. The GOP is getting older,1 and younger voters are aligning with liberal candidates. Republicans are increasing in age, Democrats decreasing.
Now granted, much of the mania has to do with the Cult of Obama and the fact that today young people become liberal through osmosis--they just don't hear conservative ideas argued in academia, Hollywood, and most of the media.
Yep, so there's a problem.
Yet there are glimmers of hope. With all the heavy doses of liberal nonsense they are exposed to on a daily basis, young people still break only as 31 percent liberal, 30 percent conservative.2 Heck, I'll take 30 percent right now. We can easily build on it. ObamaMania is showing signs of cracking. As the reliably liberal Associated Press even noted, since the election the Obama "fervor has died down--noticeably." "While young people remain the president's most loyal supporters in opinion polls, a lot of people are wondering why that age group isn't doing more to build upon their newfound reputation as political influencers."3
The "dorm storming" people for Obama on campus have stopped; the dancing in the streets is over; the bouncing Obama girls on YouTube have faded. The sizzle has fizzled. And that's why conservatives need to wake up and take action.
The youth vote is vital. "Millennials," or whatever we are called this week by political scientists, could possibly make up the single largest voting bloc in the future, so conservatives need to get with the program; we need to shake, rattle, and roll Obama Zombies and get them to do what their liberal lobotomies have prevented them from doing--thinking!
Here's a six-part battle plan for how we can do it:
1. Back to the Basics
It can't be stressed enough: John McCain was an atrocious presidential candidate. Gramps was uninspiring, inarticulate, and uncharismatic, and he looked like death. To some ignoramuses in Washington and New York, however, McCain's loss is a sign to give up conservative ideas, to buck conservative principles, and to appeal to so-called moderates.
That's the wrong direction. We need an unapologetic espousal of the core principles of conservatism: limited government, a strong military, traditional values, and personal responsibility. John McCain banked his presidential aspirations on "reaching across the aisle" and his supposed appeal to "independents." The problem is twofold: First, it doesn't work, or else we'd be addressing President McCain right now. And second, voters respond favorably to those candidates who passionately and persuasively present their ideas. That's why the so-called moderate bloc swings back and forth like a pendulum. It's not static.
On too many issues, McCain was never anchored in a core set of beliefs. He attained the status of "maverick" by giving his conservative base the middle finger on everything from tax cuts to "climate change" to Guantanamo Bay to campaign financing. In short, he sought liberal approbation from the media and his colleagues at the expense of conservative principles. "Bipartisanship" was his highest goal. To be clear, folks, I'm all for compromise, but I'd rather see liberals concede to our values than vice versa.
Our message is one that will resonate with younger voters. Since young people never hear conservative ideas, those ideas by definition sound fresh, rebellious, and provocative: all things that interest young and hungry minds. So let's get back to the basics. It's about time our leaders start juxtaposing the philosophies of liberalism and conservatism. They are two markedly different worldviews, one that embraces government and one that embraces liberty.
While liberals like to tout themselves as progressives, the dirty little secret is that they are far from progressive in any modern sense of the word. Their allegiance to top-down, bureaucratic management is right out of a thirteenth-century feudal system where "kings" and "lords" gave orders for how all the "peasants" would live in society. Today, just replace king or lord with liberal, for it is they who through legislative fiat empower Washington bureaucrats over us.
But for us, the conservatives, protecting the inalienable rights of individuals is the only reason that government exists. We are not sheep led by a governmental shepherd; rather, we are the shepherds and the government is around to ensure that some thief doesn't mess with our flock. In other words, government is there to enforce laws in order to maintain a civil and free society, not to tell us how to live our lives.
Our America is one that doesn't bail out the irresponsible, doesn't engage in the politics of greed and envy, doesn't try to socially engineer outcomes, but does respect America's role as a superpower that persistently pursues victory against her country's enemies. Our leaders must espouse policies that embody this philosophy. If not, we will continue to get more Zombies, not less. The largest ideological bloc in America is made up of those who consider themselves conservative.4 Let's start acting like it.
Our candidates need to arouse passion and excitement. All of Obama's slogans and all of Obama's gimmicks would have been meaningless if he hadn't inspired his supporters. We need bold action, not Liberalism Lite.
2. The Job Stimulus That Wasn't
Obama's disastrous economic policies are creating a great window for conservatives to reach out to young people. Jobs are sca
rce. Economic opportunity is lagging. Overall youth unemployment is the worst since World War II, way above 20 percent. We will not grow up with the same prosperity our parents did; we are a generation shackled by Obama-driven spending sprees. Obama's lack of experience during the campaign was actually seen as an asset to younger voters.
"I like that he's new," gushed Neil Stewart, a freshman at the University of Colorado in Boulder. "He's new and modern and breaking with the past," said Jose Villanueva, a senior at Claremont McKenna College in California.
To Zombette Jennifer Zamarripa, a University of Denver law school student, B.H.O.'s "inexperience meant he came in with a fresh look and isn't quite as jaded by the political system as most other people are." She added, "We need some freshness in our government right now."5
Well, congratulations, kiddos. You and the rest of our generation are now the grand prize winners of . . . a boatload of debt!
I know the Obama Zombies aren't too fond of those math-number thingies, but even they must wake up to the fact that Obama's collectivist schemes are a torpedo aimed at the interests of Generation Y voters. Obama didn't give us change, he gave us more of the same. While B.H.O. has framed his agenda as a break from the "failed policies of the Bush administration," all the Messiah is really doing is doubling down on all of Bush's reckless borrowing, spending, and bailouts. Zombies: You do realize that Obama is killing our chances to be in a better financial position than our parents, right? Take our federal deficit and debt as an example. The Obama administration expects a ten-year budget deficit of approximately $9 trillion, which means that Obama will spend around $1 trillion more than he takes in every year!6 The national debt now stands at $12 trillion as of 2009 and will likely double to $24 trillion by 2019!7 Put that number in perspective: Kobe Bryant is paid around $25 million a year by the Los Angeles Lakers. He would have to play 960,000 seasons in order to break even with our projected national debt!
This is absolute criminal financial insanity.
Obama is on pace to pile up more debt than any other president in our nation's history combined.
Here's what that means for you: You, me, and every Zombie who voted for Barack will be responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars for the Obama spending binge. There's another name for it, too: it's called generational theft, forcing us and our children to pay for Obama's "let's live it now" programs.
We send executives like Bernie Madoff to prison for running these kinds of Ponzi schemes, yet federal bureaucrats can treat our money as though it's theirs. But since these schemes are the product of the Messiah, no jail time (yet, at least).
3. Piss Off a Liberal: Get a Job, Make Money, and Be Happy
In the immortal words of Obama supporter Diddy, "It's all about the Benjamins, baby."
Make money, work hard, spur capitalism, and enjoy your life. Nothing--and I mean nothing--will infuriate liberals more.
Creating wealth, and the opportunities for others that capitalism fuels, is the best gift you can give your fellow man, not some lame AmeriCorps "please pay me to pretend to work while I promote lefty causes" gambit. Put another way, what I'm saying is to totally and completely ignore Michelle "I've never been proud of my country" Obama. On the campaign trail in Ohio she urged young people to stay away from evil corporate America:
We left corporate America, which is a lot of what we're asking young people to do. Don't go into corporate America. You know, become teachers. Work for the community. Be social workers. Be a nurse. Those are the careers that we need, and we're encouraging our young people to do that. But if you make that choice, as we did, to move out of the money-making industry into the helping industry, then your salaries respond.8
B.H.O., for his part, echoed the same anticorporate sentiments during his address to graduates at Arizona State University. The One encouraged them not to focus on "how much money you make and how big your corner office is, whether you have a fancy enough title or a nice enough car," which, Obama put it, would "compromise your values, principles and commitments" to the larger community. Instead, the Savior of Humanity said they needed to make a "commitment instead to doing what is meaningful to you, what helps others, what makes a difference in this world." That expensive business or engineering degree you worked hard to earn? Shoot, bro, you need to toss that and trade it in for a gig working at a nonprofit community outreach center:
Did you study business? Why not help our struggling non-profits find better, more effective ways to serve folks in need. Nursing? Understaffed clinics and hospitals across this country are desperate for your help. Education? Teach in a high-need school; give a chance to kids we can't afford to give up on--prepare them to compete for any job anywhere in the world. Engineering? Help us lead a green revolution, developing new sources of clean energy that will power our economy and preserve our planet.9
Gang, the most charitable thing you can do, the most compassionate thing you can do, is make a boatload of money and directly assist those in need. As conservative satirist P. J. O'Rourke said, "There's nothing the matter with honest moneymaking. Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. In a free society, with the rule of law and property rights, no one loses when someone else gets rich."10 As O'Rourke notes, you'll make more of a difference by the more money created. "Don't chain yourself to a redwood tree. Instead, be a corporate lawyer and make $500,000 a year. No matter how much you cheat the IRS, you'll still end up paying $100,000 in property, sales and excise taxes. That's $100,000 to schools, sewers, roads, firefighters and police. You'll be doing good for society. Does chaining yourself to a redwood tree do society $100,000 worth of good?"11
Only if you're Al Gore, I suppose.
I don't say this to burst idealistic bubbles and whatnot, but all the "we can change the world" mumbo jumbo we hear on commencement day is utopian and immature. Truly. We've got to grow up. Capitalism is the most effective and compassionate system to work people out of poverty and provide real, sustainable jobs. I'd rather see a community served by some profit-driven capitalist pig who invests money in a community to open up a business for financial gain, thereby employing large swaths of people, than some smug, self-important college graduate who heads to the inner city to help the "poor" through some AmeriCorps or Peace Corps job that is so unnecessary that it has to be propped up by taxpayer dollars. Paying people to volunteer? Doesn't that sort of defeat the spirit of philanthropy? Please, spare us.
We need rich folks, idiots! Who the hell do you think cuts your paycheck? Do you really want a poor boss? I don't. I'd rather my paycheck not bounce so I can feed myself and, Lord willing, someday my family. As Adam Smith noted, "By pursuing his own interest [an individual] frequently promotes that of the society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it. I have never known much good done by those who affected to trade for the public good."12
4. Learn to Frame the Message
Message framing is key in waking up the Obama Zombie. Yes, our generation is entitled--we think we have a right to everything. But we're also individualistic in the good sense, too. We value freedom, ideas, and innovation. So leverage it in the form of smart message framing.
Obama was able to harness the power of social and new media to unleash an army of Zombies onto the public, while using machinery that was built and empowered by free markets. You see, folks, we have a built-in base with young people: they crave choice and services that big government can never supply. McCain's message was about self-sacrifice, which was, eh, okay. Most of the time, Mac had just "John McCain" signs behind him at the podium and onstage, while Barack Obama always had "Hope" and "Change" and multiple variations of "Yes, we can."
We need a message, and it should be undergirded by this: the ability to live your life without Obama's massive and sprawling interference. Liberals love to blame capitalism for economic woes, but ours is an economy that is overregulated, not under.
The facts: In total, the Federal Register, which keeps a r
unning count of all the regulations and provisions that govern our lives, has topped eighty thousand pages, with sixty federal departments, commissions, and agencies at a compliance cost of over a trillion dollars, and nearly $50 billion more for the government to enforce.13 That's some unregulated, out-of-control capitalist economy we've got going! Riiiight.
Even more disgusting, and I do really mean disgusting, Americans pay more in taxes--federal, state, local, payroll, sales, property, corporate, etc.--than they spend on food, clothing, and housing combined! And if you're not a welfare queen, all those days you spend working, well, lop off 103 of them, which is the number needed at the office just to pay your federal, state, and local taxes.14 Holy smokes, people! For those Zombies in the workforce, a third of your freaking life is spent working to pay for some government scheme.
It doesn't take long to see that the left basks in a "government knows best" mentality. The most prominent left-wing "think" tank, the Center for American Progress, proudly reported that nearly two-thirds of young people polled endorsed the idea that "government has a responsibility to pursue policies that benefit all of society and balance the rights of the individual with the needs of the entire society," as opposed to "the primary responsibility of government is to protect the rights of the individual." Alas, the poll reflects more the attitude of the left-wingers directing the question than it does those answering it.
What has separated America from every other country is the foundational principle that government protects the rights of individuals. But one of the most prominent left-wing organizations in Washington, D.C., this one run by John Podesta, who was Obama's transition chief, praises the notion of a government that coercively takes what it does not earn and redistributes it to favored constituencies. As longtime columnist George Will observed, "The Left exists to enlarge the state's supervision of life, narrowing individual choices in the name of collective goods."15 Our message must be freedom from such coercion; no longer can we pay lip service to small government. We must act and demonstrate how government ruins lives, how government is the least efficient and least compassionate entity.