It was one of the things he absolutely loved about her. Or…uh…liked about her. Not love. This definitely wasn't love. Grant swallowed hard at the very thought of that word. Spending the last week with her family and the preparations for her father's funeral had been an incredibly intimate time together that felt like it had sped up the dating process. They'd somehow gone from casual and just sleeping together to suddenly being involved in the most painful moments of her life. Their relationship had grown and normally, that would be a good thing.
But not now. Not for him.
He was only two short weeks away from going to London to work on his next project. There was no telling when he'd be back in Los Angeles, except maybe the short time around the movie's live stream and marketing push. That made a relationship impossible between them already, not to mention the fact that his own personal life was so complicated. He wouldn't subject Simone to any of that.
An hour later, the duo climbed out of the ocean and collapsed on the hot sand a good distance from the water's edge.
"That was incredible," Simone panted, still catching her breath.
"You literally fell off the board every single time," Grant pointed out.
She didn't seem to care one bit. "I stayed up at least five seconds on that last one!"
Grant laughed, staring up at the clouds above them. "Fair."
Simone turned on to her side and propped her head up on her hand. "We've been doing so many new things over the last couple of weeks. I feel like my bucket list is almost complete."
"What's left on there?"
She shrugged and lay back on the sand. "Nothing."
Grant sat up, furrowing his brows. There was something she wasn't saying. "There's got to be something else."
"Well, there is…but it's not really anything I can cross off."
"Tell me," he prodded, scooping a handful of sand in his palm and gently pouring it across her leg.
She watched him intently. "You're going to think it sounds stupid. Or cliché."
"So?" Grant shrugged. "It doesn't matter what anyone thinks but you."
Simone nodded her head slowly. "The only thing I've ever really wanted to cross off my bucket list is to fall in love. The last time I got close, he was only using me for my connections. Other than that, I've never dated anyone seriously."
Grant felt a pang of guilt that he was adding to that. They certainly weren't serious, and never going to be, despite the lingering wish in the back of his mind that that could change. "You've never been in love? Not even childhood love?"
She shook her head. "Nope. What about you? You've been in love, right? I mean, you were married."
"I was married. I thought we were in love." He stopped, not really wanting to say more than that. “But you may have a point.”
"Well, what happened?"
Grant glanced up at her, then just shook his head. "It didn't work out."
Simone tossed a handful of sand at his chest. "Come on, Grant. You never open up about your life. You never tell me anything."
"I don't like to think about it, Simone," he replied, but he knew that she wasn't going to be satisfied with that answer. "Yes, I was in love with my ex-wife. Or a type of love. What I thought was love at the time, but now that I look back on it…maybe I never really knew what love was at all. Maybe I’m just like you.” He sighed deeply. “She ran off with my best friend and broke my fucking heart, leaving me a huge mess to deal with that I'm still cleaning up. Is that what you want to hear? That my entire life is in shambles and I can't even remember the last time I felt whole?"
His voice was racketing louder and grittier with every word, and when he finally came to a stop, he realized that he was close to tears. Clearing his throat, he tried to push away the emotions he wasn't ready to feel. Honestly, it wasn't even entirely true. Being around Simone? It was the most whole and happy he'd felt since his marriage had been happy. She was a bright light in his dark life, and he wanted to tell her that, but he was sure if he kept talking, he was going to cry.
And he didn't fucking cry.
Simone was quiet for a moment, then leaned in and took his hand. "I'm sorry, Grant. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
He squeezed her hand back, nodding instead of responding.
"Stories like that make me think it's better that I've never been in love," she continued. "Maybe it's not worth the heart break."
Grant shook his head, because despite everything he'd been through, he wouldn't go back and change a thing. "That's not true. Not at all. Being in love…it's invigorating. It's fulfilling. It's the answer to every question you didn't know you were asking. Even when it ends…even when it hurts…it's worth it to have felt it once. Even if what I felt was only a fraction of the real thing."
Simone's jaw tensed. Her voice lowered, almost to a whisper. Tentative and nervous. "Do you think…do you think we would have fallen in love? If you weren't leaving?"
Grant took a second before he answered, nibbling on the corner of his bottom lip. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say part of him already had. But that wasn't an option, and he wasn't going to leave her with hope when there was none. That just seemed cruel. "I don't think I could fall in love with anyone right now. My life is…it's complicated."
The crestfallen look on her face was evident, but she quickly masked it with a small, tight-lipped smile and nod. "Life is complicated. I think that's how it's supposed to be for everyone. I'm certainly no stranger to it."
"True, but I…there are things you don't know about me yet. Things I can't subject anyone to." Like the warrant out for his arrest or the possible jail time he was facing when he returned home.
"I want to, though," she replied, her voice still soft and her fingers caressing his forearm. "I want to know everything about you."
There was pain in her words now, and he began to wonder if this was a mistake. If the last few weeks were meaning too much to her, and that he was only going to hurt her when he left. That was the last thing he wanted, and yet…fuck, it was going to hurt. It was going to hurt like hell to say goodbye to her.
But the last thing he wanted was for her to feel that, too.
"Simone…" He paused, letting out a deep breath. "We agreed."
"I know, I know," she said, a heaviness to her words. "Casual. I know."
They stared quietly out at the ocean in front of them, the waves licking the shore every few seconds. He wanted to pull her against him, kiss her until she forgot everything, but instead, they just stayed like that. Side by side. Angry at the upcoming goodbye and hurting at the inability to change a thing.
This was what they'd signed up for. He couldn't change his mind now.
Chapter Fourteen
"So taunt me and hurt me, deceive me, desert me…" Simone took a deep breath between lyrics from the musical, leaning against the side of the piano in his hotel living room. "I'm yours ’til I die, so in love, so in love, so in love with you, my love, am I."
Grant played the final chords in the song before lifting his hands from the piano keys. "That was perfect, Simone."
It had been three weeks since they'd met and started practicing together, and she was more than ready for filming to start. They'd continue to practice for another week, but he had no doubt that she was going to knock her performance out of the park.
"Thank you," she replied. "I've been working my voice a lot lately. I have a performance this weekend in Las Vegas."
Their tension on the beach a few days ago had been forgotten. Or, more likely, buried. They both knew their time was coming to a close, but neither wanted to acknowledge it or bring it up again. He certainly didn't. They'd fallen back into their previous patterns—work, sex, dates. It was just as wonderful as before, even with the looming deadline of their eventual parting in only a week.
Grant lifted one brow. "Vegas? Ever been before?"
She shook her head. "No, but I'm opening for the American Voice winner for the entire weekend. They're headlining a month long show
there."
"That's a big deal." Grant had already been super impressed with how far she'd gotten on the reality singing competition, but to turn that into continued work afterwards was something few people could do unless they really hustled. The competition had only ended a little over a month ago and she’d already championed it into more success afterwards. From what he could tell, Simone was never not working—whether on her singing or for her family. "When do you leave?"
"Tonight. I was thinking…" She paused for a moment, her fingers fidgeting. "What if you came with me? Another first to explore…"
He briefly considered her proposal, but there was zero chance that he was going to say no. "That sounds fun. Sin City…sure you're ready for that? I've been a few times and it can get pretty wild."
"Oh, I'm ready," she replied. "You just try to keep up."
Grant laughed, loving her confidence. He'd loved every minute of getting to know her and was already beginning to dread leaving. It was depressing the hell out of him.
Simone slid into his lap, circling her arms around his neck. "Is traveling together too much too soon?"
He shook his head. "I don't think there's a list of rules to follow for our kind of dating."
"The kind with an expiration date," she replied.
He wasn't entirely sure, but he could have sworn a look of disappointment crossed her face. Was she dreading the end of their month together, too?
"Exactly," Grant continued. "We make up our own rules."
She nuzzled his cheek with her nose, brushing her lips against his jaw. "You don't follow any rules."
Grant chuckled. That was definitely true. "I like my freedom." Ironic, since he might be losing that the moment he touched down in New Zealand. But honestly, freedom wasn't as appealing as it once had been, knowing he was leaving her behind.
Reaching around her, he pulled the cover closed over the piano keys, then gripped Simone's waist and lifted her to sit on top of the piano.
"Hey!" She squeaked at the sudden transition.
He grinned, pushing apart her knees and settling on the bench in between them. Softly, he kissed the inside of her knees. With gentle strokes of his lips and tongue, he moved up her inner thigh.
Her eyes immediately hooded as she watched him, her hands gripping the hem of her skirt and sliding it up farther for him.
Grant chuckled. "Someone's eager."
Simone leaned back on her elbows, watching him. "Mmm."
When he reached her core, he discovered that she wasn't wearing any panties. He lifted one brow and looked up at her. "Going bare?"
"Only when I'm with you," she teased, her tongue sliding across her bottom lip.
He liked that answer. Growling low in his chest, he pushed her legs wider apart, setting her feet on his knees to support her. His mouth found her core quickly, long slow licks across her center that had her moaning and thrusting her hips against him.
With tauntingly slow circles, he wrapped his tongue around her clit, knowing waves of near orgasms were already spiraling through her at the very feel. He lifted his hand and slid one finger inside her, groaning at how warm and wet she felt against his skin. She squeezed him, and he wasn't sure he could wait much longer to have his dick inside her.
She gasped, her body shaking as her first orgasm hit her hard. He didn't stop licking or thrusting his finger in and out until her body finally slowed and melted against the piano.
"Holy shit…" She groaned.
Unzipping his pants, Grant fisted his dick as he sat on the piano bench beneath her. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a condom and made quick work of putting it on. "You're so fucking hot when you come, Simone."
She pushed up on her elbows, eyeing him. Her tongue slid across her lower lip. "I need you."
Grant grabbed her by her waist and pulled her down from on top of the piano so that she was straddling his waist. They wasted no time as she grabbed his dick and positioned him at her entrance. With one long push, she slid down his shaft, taking every inch of him.
"Oh, God…" Moans parted her lips before he kissed her.
Their mouths danced together as she bounced up and down on top of him, their chests pressed tightly together as their arms circled one another. It was like he couldn't get close enough no matter how on top of each other they were. Every part of her body called to his, like a siren he couldn't help but answer to.
Knowing that in less than a week they'd be parted…hell, it killed him.
He'd dated plenty before getting married, but nothing that ever lasted more than one or two dinners. Somehow, he'd spent almost every other day with Simone—sometimes every day. When they weren't working or she wasn't with her family, she was in his bed and he loved every second of it. They went to dinners, took long hikes that she hated, went swimming at the beach, and had made it their mission to constantly try new things together.
It had been a whirlwind adventure that was supposed to be no pressure. Somehow, though, their impending deadline seemed to only up the ante. It was like he wanted to squeeze in as much as he could before he left for London, but at the same time, he wanted to leave now and avoid the entire heartbreak of goodbye.
Heartbreak? Grant tried to push the idea out of his mind.
They were just dating. Casually. This wasn't love. His heart wasn't invested.
"I'm close," Simone said, pulling him back into the moment as their bodies slid together in harmony.
"Come on me," he instructed, a slight growl following his words as his fingers dug into her hips, guiding her up and down on his cock.
He was only seconds behind when she finally unraveled. Her head fell forward, resting against his shoulder as her body shook against him. His own climax pulsed through him, sending warm waves of pleasure through every nerve. She slowed, sitting quietly on top of him as they both waited for the excitement to subside.
"That was amazing." She scattered soft kisses against his neck. "Absolutely amazing."
"You're not so bad yourself," he teased, finding her lips with his.
They kissed softly, gently, until finally he lifted her from him and went to go clean up. His phone buzzed in his pocket as he was turning off the faucet. He dried his hands on a towel and then pulled it out, reading the new email notification on the screen.
"Fuck." He shook his head, shoving the phone back in his pocket.
He exited the bathroom and found Simone standing by the window, looking out on Los Angeles below. "Simone?"
"Hmm?" She turned to face him, her lips swollen and her cheeks blush red.
He took her in his arms, kissing her cheek and then her lips. "They want me early in London. I've got to be there in the morning."
Her eyes widened and she stepped back. "What?"
"I can't make it to Las Vegas," he continued. "They moved up the shooting schedule for the London project. I've got to be there in time to work with the director on finishing the music."
Simone shook her head, hugging herself as she wrapped her arms around her waist. "Shit."
"I know." He hated the look of disappointment on her face.
"I thought we had more time," she continued. "But…you're leaving. And you're not coming back."
"I wouldn't say that," he objected, stepping closer to her again. She shrugged out of his arms and walked over to the couch. "I still come to Los Angeles once a year. Sometimes more."
"A year is a long time from now. Who knows where I'll be then?"
Grant pushed his hands into his pockets. "We knew this was coming, Simone. This was always going to end. I don't know what to tell you…we knew."
"That's all you have to say? We knew?" Simone's brows furrowed. "I know we knew. It's been the dark cloud hanging over our head since day one. Why did we even do this then, if that's all you have to say?"
Grant blinked, trying to think of what to say. He wasn't minimizing their time together, but at the same time, there was nothing he could do about their lives being so different. They were hea
ding in opposite directions, and as much as a big part of him wished they weren't…they were.
Fuck, he really wished things were different.
"I've really enjoyed our time together," he began, reaching for one of her hands. She reluctantly let him hold it but kept space between them. "I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss what we've had."
He wanted to tell her how much he cared about her. How his heart was growing to maybe even—no. He couldn't say any of that. He couldn't tell her what he was really feeling when he was leaving. That would just hurt her for no reason.
"I'm going to miss us, too," she replied, stepping in to his embrace and wrapping her arms around his neck. "I don't know how to say goodbye. I wasn't ready for it to be today."
He held her tighter, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as her hair tickled his cheek. "I wasn't ready yet, either."
She pulled away just enough to look at his face. "I…I like you a lot, Grant."
He swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing she was saying so much more. "I like you, too, Simone."
"I have to go pack for Vegas. My flight is in a few hours."
He nodded, letting go of her.
She grabbed her purse on the table by the door and then turned around to face him. "Have fun in London."
"Have fun in Vegas," he replied.
They stared at each other awkwardly for a moment, as if neither one of them knew what to do or how to handle the moment. He wanted to run to her and kiss her, pull her back into his bed and make her miss her flight entirely.
But that wasn't life. That wasn't what they agreed to.
They'd agreed to temporary, and now temporary had ended.
Chapter Fifteen
"We only have two months left until we do this live," the director called out. "You all need to really step up your game because that was terrible."
"What?" Simone balked, stepping off the stage and making her way over to the cameras. "We were all pretty on point."
"Sure. You were all good," he replied. "But you weren't great. This is going to be live. There's no time for edits. No time for redos. Millions of people will be watching the broadcast from their living rooms and judging every single move we make. It has to be perfect."