She had done it. She had left him. A part of him could not accept it and he wondered if he would ever be able to fully accept it.
He could not believe how much he had grown accustomed to her foolish conviction that they belonged together. She had been so positive that they were made for each other, so convinced he was the hero of her dreams.
But he hadn’t known how to deal with her at first. She had knocked him off balance right from the moment she had descended out of the blue onto his doorstep. And she had moved much too quickly for him. He was, by nature, not the type who could take the risks of real intimacy easily and he knew it. So he tried to resist Sarah at every step along the way, always looking for hidden motives, always searching for the cold reality that he knew had to lie beneath her warm, affectionate surface.
When they had become lovers that day in the mountains he had relaxed somewhat because he’d finally found a way in which he could trust her, a way in which he could feel sure of her. From the beginning he’d never really doubted the genuineness of her physical response.
Now, thanks to Savage, he was right back where he’d started. Alone.
But this time it hurt. He felt as if something inside him was cracking open, exposing him to the kind of pain he had protected himself from for years.
The worst of it was that even as he began to climb slowly along the path toward the house, Gideon knew he couldn’t blame Jake for this latest disaster. He had no one to blame but himself.
Machu Picchu was sitting at the top of the bluff, tail coiled around his paws. He watched with idle interest as Gideon climbed the last few steps.
“She’s gone, isn’t she, Machu? I didn’t even get breakfast.”
The big cat followed him into the kitchen where Ellora sat in Sarah’s chair. The silver-gray cat glared at Gideon with accusing eyes.
“Hey, don’t blame me. She’s the type who appears out of thin air and vanishes the same way. Here today, gone tomorrow. Flighty. Know what I mean?” Gideon put the kettle on the stove for instant coffee. No, not gone tomorrow—gone today. Now. This minute.
The cats continued to regard him in profound silence. Gideon poured hot water over the coffee and stirred absently. “I shouldn’t have let her drive off in this fog,” he announced after a minute. “The roads could be real bad.”
The cats licked their paws.
Gideon climbed the stairs with his mug of coffee in one hand and went to see if Sarah had packed absolutely everything or if she’d left in such an all-fired hurry she’d forgotten a few items.
In her room he found no trace she’d ever been there. In a totally uncharacteristic gesture, she’d even made the bed up neatly.
Gideon went back downstairs wondering why the house felt so damned cold again.
The cats were sitting at the bottom of the staircase, watching him with their otherworldly gaze.
“I know, I know,” Gideon said. “I shouldn’t have let her leave alone. Not in this fog. Too dangerous. If she’s got any sense she’ll stop at a café and have a cup of tea or something until the fog lifts. I’ll bet she’s at one of the coffee shops in town. On the other hand, common sense is not her strong point. I probably ought to check on her. Make sure she waits awhile before heading for Seattle.”
Ellora started to purr.
Gideon picked up his car keys and walked to the door. Behind him Machu rumbled plaintively. “You’ve got enough food and water to last for a couple of days,” he told the big cat. “Don’t worry. I’ll only be gone for an hour or less.”
But there was no sign of Sarah’s car at either the coffee shops or the local gas station. The fog was not nearly as bad now as it had been a while ago. Sarah had probably not encountered any great trouble at all in getting to the main highway.
Gideon stopped at the edge of town and thought about going back to the big, cold, empty house.
He could not bear the thought. He started driving.
A few hours later he found himself in Seattle.
There was no great difficulty in locating Sarah’s apartment building downtown. After four months of corresponding with her, he’d long since memorized the address.
HER WARM, CHEERFUL, sunny apartment wasn’t nearly as inviting as it ought to have been. Sarah halted just inside the front door, her hastily packed suitcases in her hands. She glanced around uneasily. Something didn’t feel right. She stood there a moment longer and then put down the luggage.
With a gathering sense of disquiet, she wandered around the living room. Everything seemed pretty much as she’d left it.
Until she got to her desk. It took her a minute or two to realize that the normal, exuberant clutter didn’t look quite right. The desk was still a mess, of course, but it looked different somehow.
Someone had been through her things.
The maps.
On a hunch, Sarah gasped and yanked open the filing cabinet drawer where she had carefully stored the ten photocopies of her precious map. They were gone. All of them.
“Oh, you’re back, are you, Sarah? Have a nice trip, dear?” Mrs. Reynolds from across the hall paused for a moment in the open doorway. “There was the nicest man inquiring about you after you left. A real charmer. Did he find you?”
“Yes, Mrs. Reynolds. He found me.” Sarah slowly closed the cabinet door. Jake Savage had stolen the maps.
“Excuse me. I’m looking for Sarah Fleetwood’s apartment.” Gideon’s gritty tones came down the hall from behind Mrs. Reynolds.
“Well, bless my soul, it’s another one. Never rains but it pours, eh, Sarah, dear?” The elderly woman winked conspiratorially at Sarah. “Right this way, sir. Never knew our Sarah had such an active social life. Call me if you need help entertaining all these interesting young men, Sarah, dear.” Still chuckling, Mrs. Reynolds disappeared into her own apartment and closed the door.
Sarah stared at Gideon as he came to a halt in the doorway. “What are you doing here?” she whispered.
“What the hell does it look like I’m doing? I followed you. I should have caught up with you long before you got to Seattle. The fact that I didn’t means you drive too damned fast, Sarah.”
She ignored that, feeling strangely weak. The stolen maps were forgotten. All the anger and hurt and frustration she’d been feeling since she’d left the coast were forgotten. All that mattered was that Gideon was here, glowering at her in his familiar, lovable, beastly manner.
“You followed me? All this way? You actually came after me?”
“Well, I didn’t drive this far just to see the Space Needle.”
“You came after me,” she breathed, giddy with relief and euphoria. “You tracked me down to the ends of the earth so that you could drag me back to the coast, didn’t you?”
Something warm and tender that was tinged with amusement flickered in Gideon’s eyes, softening the grimness that had been there a moment ago. “I never really thought of Seattle as the ends of the earth, but I guess it’s all relative, isn’t it?”
“Gideon.” She flew across the room and into his arms. When he caught her close, holding her in a grip of iron, she breathed a deep sigh of relief. “I was so afraid. I thought you just couldn’t care enough, after all, that I didn’t mean enough to you even though in the beginning I was so sure…”
“Sarah, honey, it’s all right.”
She clutched at him. “I don’t mind telling you I was scared to death that it really was hopeless. You never seemed to be able to bring yourself to trust me. I couldn’t believe I’d been so wrong about us, but you never know for sure. I’ve been wrong before and all the way back from your place I’ve been terrified that I’d made another mistake.”
“Sarah, hush.”
“Gideon, I love you so much and I’ve been so miserable. All those lonely hours on the road. It was the longest drive of my life, I swear. I just wanted to get home so that I could cry in the privacy of my own apartment.”
“Sarah—”
“I’ve been telling myse
lf I was a fool. I almost had myself believing it, too. But now here you are. You’ve come after me just like one of the heroes in my books and everything’s going to be all right. I wasn’t wrong about you, after all.”
“Sarah, I’m here. Let’s leave it at that for a while, all right?”
She raised her glowing face to his but before she could say anything else, he was kissing her. She parted her lips for him, pressing herself close into the comfort and strength of his big frame.
Gideon groaned, kicked the door shut with the heel of his boot, and picked Sarah up in his arms. Without breaking the kiss, he carried her over to the black leather Italian sofa.
10
SHE WAS CLINGING TO HIM, holding onto him as if she’d never let him go. Gideon staggered a couple of steps and then fell onto the sofa, dragging Sarah down on top of him. He still couldn’t believe the depths of the welcome he’d seen in her eyes when he’d stepped through the apartment doorway. He didn’t think he’d ever forget it as long as he lived. He’d been right to follow her. She’d wanted him to come after her.
The thing inside him that had cracked open and caused so much pain was healing with miraculous speed.
“I’m no hero,” he warned one last time, wondering why he felt compelled to try to set the record straight. It was getting hard to think. Her mouth was so warm and sweet and spicy as she persisted in raining kisses over him.
“Yes, you are,” Sarah whispered passionately. “You’re a perfect hero. I always knew it. It just took you a while to figure it out, too, that’s all.”
“Hell, who am I to argue? You’re the expert.” He tugged at her sweater, pulling it off and tossing it down onto the carpet. Her fine, gently rounded breasts tumbled into his waiting hands and he inhaled sharply as his whole body tightened.
When she wriggled against him, sliding her hips across his, Gideon gave a husky, choked laugh and tugged at the fastening of her jeans. Her small, gentle hands were already fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. As soon as the garment fell open he felt her fingers trailing through the hair on his chest. Waves of anticipation rolled through him.
He looked down at the scrap of turquoise she wore beneath her jeans. He knew he was looking at one of the seven pairs of brightly colored, sexy panties she had bought especially to wear for him.
“You knew I’d come after you, didn’t you?”
“No. I just hoped you would.”
“Come here,” Gideon whispered, urging her down so that her breasts brushed against his bare skin. He could feel her taut little nipples against him. “That feels so good, sweetheart.”
“I love you, Gideon.” She kissed his shoulder and then his own flat nipple. “I’ve been feeling so awful for the past few hours. I could hardly stand it.”
“You should never have left.”
“Maybe not. But I couldn’t bear to stay, either. Not with you refusing to admit that we have something special together. Not when you couldn’t let yourself trust me. But now you’re here and everything’s the way it should be.”
He slid his hands down the length of her back to the sensual curve of her buttocks. He began coaxing the jeans over her lushly rounded derriere, allowing his fingers to stray into all the secret places. She moved delightfully against him once more and he lifted his lips against hers, seeking the sweetness of her. There was still far too much denim in the way.
“Easy, honey, easy,” he breathed, holding her gently away from him so that he could slide off the sofa and stand up long enough to get out of his own clothes. When he finished with the boots and the jeans and all the rest of it he sat down and reached for Sarah.
She came to him willingly enough as he finished undressing her but when she started to lie down and pull him to her he shook his head.
“This way,” he mouthed in her ear, as he half-sat, half-sprawled against the leather cushions. Hands on her thighs, he parted her legs and eased her down so that she sat astride him. He felt her tremble.
“Gideon.” She braced herself, kneeling on the cushions. Her fingers entwined in his hair. Her eyes glowed with excitement.
“Yeah. Like that.” He took one nipple gently into his mouth and simultaneously touched her intimately. He found her warm and damp and ready for him. When he eased one finger into her she clenched almost violently. Gideon caught his breath.
“So sexy, baby. That feels so good,” he muttered. He drew the tip of his finger across the small pearl hidden in the delicate nest and had the satisfaction of feeling her shiver again in his arms.
“Gideon, my wonderful, fabulous, Gideon.” She nibbled on his ear, moving against his head. “I love it when you touch me.”
He guided himself slowly into her, feeling her open to him and then close tightly around him. She gasped and began to slide up and down as he indicated with his hands on her waist. Then she began to set the rhythm, growing more confident and more forceful until Gideon could think of nothing except the powerful hunger that was sweeping through him.
When he could stand the ravening forces no longer, he surged into her one last time seeking the full satisfaction that he knew was waiting. Gideon felt Sarah shudder and cry out and then he was lost in the thrill of her release as it mingled with his own.
SARAH SMILED TO HERSELF as she languorously stroked Gideon’s shoulders. “I like this position,” she murmured.
“So do I. But, then, I like any position with you.” His eyes were closed. He continued to sprawl against the cushions, his well-muscled legs relaxed, his hands moving absently on her thighs. “Sarah, promise me you won’t run off like that again.”
Her leaving had shaken him, she realized. He really did care for her. But, then, she had been certain of that the moment she saw him standing in her doorway.
“What made you come after me?” she asked softly. “You must have left shortly after I did.” She was consumed with curiosity now, needing to hear every detail of what he had been thinking when he made the decision to pursue her. “When did you finally realize you couldn’t let me go?”
“Sarah?”
“Yes, Gideon?”
“Just promise me you won’t do that again. Please.”
She sighed, resigned to the fact that Gideon was never going to find it easy to talk about his emotions. “All right. I promise.”
“I could sure use a cup of coffee.”
She collapsed against him in a fit of giggles. “What a romantic.”
“I try.” His smile was slightly lopsided, his eyes bemused as he played with her hair. “But I’d better warn you, there are probably going to be times when I’ll mess up.”
“You think so?”
“I keep telling you, I’m no hero. But you won’t run off again if I do occasionally fail to live up to your expectations, will you? Sarah, I don’t want to have to be afraid that every time I screw up, you’ll leave.”
Sarah’s amusement slipped away in an instant as she saw the seriousness in his steady gaze. She shook her head vigorously. “No, never. I won’t run off.”
“You did this morning.”
“That was different.”
“How?”
“This morning I was feeling depressed. I knew somehow that I’d gone as far as I could. It was up to you to make an effort or give me some sign. If you were never going to be able to let yourself love me or trust me I had to find out now. I knew I had to leave.” Sarah smiled. “And you came after me.”
Gideon moved his head slightly on the cushions, his eyes warm. “I think you’re a little crazy, but that’s all right.” His gaze shifted to the room around them. “So this is your place? It looks like you. I knew there’d be unwashed cups on the coffee table.”
“Thanks a lot.” She rose reluctantly from his thighs and reached for her clothing. “Look at the bright side. Now that I’ve got you, I’ll be able to let my weekly cleaning service go, won’t I? I’ll make you some coffee while you get dressed. The bathroom’s down the hall. Give me a minute and then you can have it
.” She clutched her shirt and looked down at him. “Gideon, I’m so happy.”
He smiled slightly, his eyes very intent. “The cats will be pleased. They didn’t approve of your running off the way you did this morning.”
“You’ll all just have to understand that I had my reasons.”
Gideon’s eyes hardened. “It was more than depression, wasn’t it? We could have talked about that. And more than wanting me to give you some sign that I cared. It was Savage finding you on the beach that made you give up on me.”
“I didn’t give up on you.”
“He upset everything. You were all right until he showed up again. You were adjusting to being with me. Getting used to it. But then he cornered you on the beach and it was all over. He always had a knack for being able to throw a spanner into the works.”
“That’s not the way it was at all. My feelings had nothing to do with Savage. I left because I wasn’t sure I was getting through to you. It was time to give you a strong nudge.”
“You’d have gotten through to me a lot faster if you’d let me make love to you instead of trying to build a relationship without sex,” Gideon muttered. “It wasn’t natural, Sarah. I felt you were trying to manipulate me by withholding yourself and then when Savage popped up again, I—”
“Savage.” Sarah’s eyes widened in belated anger as reality came back with a thud. “Good grief, I almost forgot. How could I? The man’s a thief.”
“I’m in agreement with you on that point. But you didn’t really believe all those things he was saying about me, did you?”
“Of course, I didn’t believe him. But that’s not why I’m furious with him now. I’m mad because he broke in here and stole all my extra copies of the map, Gideon.”
Gideon’s eyes hardened. He reached slowly for his shirt. “The bastard.”
“He’s going to dig up the earrings,” Sarah said with a sigh. “I know he is.”
“He won’t find them.”
“Gideon, I keep telling you, I can almost feel him finding them. My intuition tells me he’s very close to getting his hands on them. Maybe he couldn’t get close without the map, but now that he’s got all ten copies of the thing he’s bound to figure it out.”