And then I had insisted we keep Alex in place, to begin working with the Patrians on a trade agreement.
Of course, that hadn’t gone very far, due to the changes we were making in the Tower. The Patrians had wanted our system of government stabilized before they would sign an agreement, which made sense, but it took us a while to accomplish. People were obviously upset after what happened during the last Requiem Day, and wanted a lot of answers. We had told the citizens a watered-down version of the truth: that Sage and Sadie had tried to gain control over Scipio to rule the Tower. We hadn’t revealed that Scipio as they had known him was dead. It was a big pill to swallow, and it would’ve been even worse if they had learned that an aspect of my personality had been combined with Scipio’s, so we held that back as well.
But that meant collecting evidence and having hearings with witnesses, some of which had to be fabricated, which took time. Then I stepped down and started the Diplomacy Corp, which meant we had to wait for a new Champion…
The amount of time coupled with the odds and ends of putting everything together had been tiresome, to say the least, but had gone a long way toward fixing the damage Sage had done to the Tower. Getting rid of the expulsion chambers and overhauling the ranking system were among the first of the things we accomplished. After that, we’d had to decide what our goals should be, moving forward—whether we should find a new homeland and evacuate the population, or continue living in the Tower. It had been shocking to the newly elected councilors that the world wasn’t as poorly off as they had been led to believe, but once they had accepted it, they were both scared of the prospect—and curious.
After all, the Tower had only been meant to protect us from the End, and carry us forward to a time when we could leave again. The pollution of the Tower was the only thing holding us back, since it meant the environment immediately outside was untenable, but the Patrians’ flying vessels were able to carry us over that… to a place where we could be free.
Thankfully, the Patrians seemed to be ruled by patient and understanding people, because they gave us time to sort that all out, and continued working with Alex.
“Uh, I have eyes with which I can see,” Quess said dryly, raising an eyebrow at my brother. “I think I’ll be all right.”
“You will be after the month-long wilderness survival training course the Patrians have been cooking up for you,” my brother replied, not even missing a beat. “So until then, no wandering too far away from the compound where we’ll be staying.”
Quess opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off when another crate dropped down on top of his own.
“From your wife,” Dylan said amicably from beside him, her crimson uniform looking pristine, the insignia of Champion resting on her lapel. After I’d resigned to form and lead the Diplomacy Corp, the Citadel had held another Tourney, and Dylan had won by a landslide. I had been relieved—not only because Dylan was more than qualified for the job, but because I’d found in her a capable ally on the council. “She told me that if you had air to talk, I was to pile on the work.”
Quess groaned theatrically, his arms straining under the weight. “Yeah, sounds like Doxy. Where is she, by the way?”
“Distracting the rest of the council for me,” I replied, motioning to Alex so we could help take the extra crate. “I didn’t want them getting in the way while we moved things out of here. They’re as nervous as you were on your wedding night.”
“Hey!” Quess said, flushing bright red with embarrassment. “You promised we’d never talk about that!”
I laughed, and Dylan clapped a hand on his shoulder, giving him a little shake. “I don’t know how to tell you this, Quess, but everyone knew.”
We all laughed at that, even Quess. It was hard not to tease him; his wedding had been three weeks ago, and rushed to boot, as they had decided to get married after Zoe and Eric’s ceremony six weeks before. It had all happened so quickly that I didn’t think even Quess and Maddox fully understood what they were doing until the day of wedding, and then the panic had set in. Maddox had handled it better than Quess, to say the least, and it was still too fresh in our minds to keep us from teasing.
I think it helped that he and Maddox had never been happier, and I was just grateful that they were alive to be that happy.
The sudden memory of them dying—Quess’s fearful voice as he was shut into that tube and Maddox’s empty and vacant eyes—caught me unexpectedly, and I had to stop and take a deep breath, trying to push the images away. Lionel had said that the memories should fade, but they hadn’t. Not really. I often had nightmares about them, waking up in a cold sweat and crying, forgetting for a second that they weren’t dead and feeling that crushing despair all over again.
“Liana?” Quess asked, and I started, surprised to see him there. It took me a second to remember where I had been, but when I did, my cheeks heated with embarrassment.
“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I got lost in my thoughts. What were we talking about?”
Quess flashed me a sympathetic smile. All of my friends knew that I was having trouble recovering from the trauma of the simulation, but after a year of conversation, there wasn’t much more for them to say or do but smile and nod. Not to mention, talking about how their deaths had made me feel wasn’t exactly the easiest thing for them. Everyone tried their best, but I could tell it bothered them to think about, and they had eventually stopped bringing it up.
“We were talking about what happens after we spend six months with the Patrians,” he informed me, setting down the crate he was carrying on top of the others I had been inventorying earlier. “I know there’s something to all of these classes you and the Patrians have put together for us. Not to mention the joint military training operation we’re going to do with their soldiers. Dylan won’t tell me anything, but I know you’ve got something up your sleeve.”
I pursed my lips to fight back a smile, and looked over at Dylan, silently asking for her approval. After all, this involved the Knights as well, as several from my former department would be joining our group. She raised a blond eyebrow, a small smirk playing on her own lips.
“Up to you,” she said with a shrug. “Although, I’d say you should only tell them if they aren’t going back into the Tower. The Patrians may be arriving any minute, but you’re not slated to leave for another hour, and you know how gossip has a way of getting around.”
She had a point, and one that I wasn’t about to argue with. Because it was important that we keep the citizens of the Tower unaware of our real mission until we knew whether or not it was going to work. It had been hard enough to break the news of Patrus to them. Many had been frightened by the idea that we weren’t alone, though they had adapted.
Hopefully, by the time we got back, they would be ready to adapt some more.
I looked at Quess and smiled. “Do you need to go back into the Tower for anything?”
“Nope,” he replied with a grin. “Which means you can tell me.”
My smile grew even wider. “I got the council’s permission to start scouting out potential locations for a colony,” I said. “The Patrians will be helping—as in, they’ve agreed to transport us and leave a few of their survival experts with us as guides. But beyond that, we’ll be alone, camping under the stars, looking for a place that could become our new home.”
Quess blinked in surprise and rocked back on his heels, considering the idea for a long moment. I had to admit, it had taken a long time to convince the council to look into the idea. It had been one of the few things we had clashed on. Many of them were hesitant to make any bigger decisions until after we had dismantled all of the laws that Sage had enacted over the years, but I didn’t think that was the wisest choice. The individual worlds that had survived the End were growing and beginning to collide, and if we didn’t get ahead of that, we would be at a serious disadvantage. We needed to carve out territory to create a wider defense, in case anyone who wanted to do us harm came kno
cking. The Tower was fortified, but anyone who came across us and got the idea to break in and take something from us could try it—and if they had enough support and firepower, the Tower would fall.
We needed to have a backup location ready and operational, in case the unthinkable happened.
Not to mention, it would take time for the land around the Tower to become fertile again. The toxins the Tower was pushing into the river had leached into the water table, making the landscape around us a desert. The Patrians were willing to help us clear it up using their own technology, but wanted us to dump our waste farther upriver from now on, to ensure that a unique area that served as one of their natural borders remained intact. If we wanted to take advantage of that technology, we needed to demonstrate to them that we were responsible and willing to take the steps necessary to better our world, and that meant first cleaning up the land around our Tower.
Besides, humans weren’t meant to live within four walls for all eternity. We were meant to be explorers and pioneers. But Sage was right about one thing: the people in the Tower had forgotten that at some point, and were all the lesser for it. It was my hope that the Diplomacy Corp would help revive that ancient drive in them all. I knew that not everyone would want to go, but the colony wasn’t supposed to be an evacuation, but rather an option for those who wanted to live outside the four walls of the Tower. Maybe in the generations to come, more and more of us would leave the Tower for the colony, until everyone was there—but that remained to be seen.
“That sounds… pretty freaking amazing,” Quess finally declared, raking his hand through his hair. “I assume you’ve got a list of all the studies you plan to do, as well as an idea of where to look. We know the south is out, but what about the east or west… or even north!”
I laughed. His comments barely scratched the surface of what the council and I had thought up when I finally convinced them to just look at sites. We were only investigating to the west and east of the Tower, as we didn’t want to squish the Patrians and Matrians between the Tower and the colony. The site needed a well or lake that provided enough water for everyone, and the land needed to be fertile, for farming. We needed an area of at least fifty square miles to start, but we were to make sure that we were at least two hundred miles from the nearest human settlements, so as not to start a war or appear to be invading anyone else. The list of requirements went on and on, but I wasn’t bothered by them. Where anyone else might have seen restrictions, all I saw were possibilities.
“You’ll have to wait and see,” was all I said in reply. There was really no need for me to be cryptic, but I enjoyed yanking Quess’s chain, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.
“What?” he exclaimed, rising to the bait—just as I knew he would. “C’mon, Liana, you can’t leave me hanging like this.”
“I absolutely can,” I replied with a wink. I started to add more, but paused when I saw Grey, Eric, and Zoe stepping through the door from the Tower, each of them carrying gear and supplies. I narrowed my eyes in irritation at the sight of my best friend hauling several bags on her shoulder. “And on that note, I need to go yell at a pregnant lady. Excuse me.”
Quess, Alex, and Dylan let me go without too much hassle, knowing I took my responsibilities as godmother very seriously, and I sped over to where my three friends were walking toward us. “You better put those bags down right now,” I ordered in a no-nonsense voice as soon as I was close enough.
“Pshaw,” Zoe said with a laugh. “I’m only three weeks pregnant. I can still carry things!”
“No, you cannot,” I said with a harrumph, drawing close enough to grab one of the bags she was carrying and throw it over my shoulder. I went for the others, but she quickly stepped out of reach, a teasing smile playing on her lips. “That’s my little godchild in there, and you are keeping him or her safe no matter what!” I said indignantly, after several failed attempts to catch her and take the bags. “That means no jumping, no eating fish, and definitely no carrying heavy bags of crap. It’s bad enough that you’re coming with us instead of staying here where the doctors can keep an eye on you, so I’m not tolerating any argument on this. The bags. Please.”
Zoe snorted and rolled her eyes, but stopped moving to hand the remaining bags over. “Liana, you’re worse than my mother, mother-in-law, and Eric combined! I’m fine. The baby is fine. And the Patrians have been having babies for centuries, so I’m sure they can handle all of my medical needs. But you better be damned sure I’m not missing out on this. It’s too historic for me not to go.”
I sighed heavily, as if giving in to her argument, but inside I was secretly pleased. When Zoe had told me she was pregnant, I was concerned that she wouldn’t be able to join us. Which sucked, not only because she was my best friend, but also because she was the lead Cog on the mission, and was going with us to work with the Patrian engineers on how to optimize their recycling systems, and to study their filtration devices. She’d been training for three months to go on this mission, and when she’d discovered she was pregnant, I’d been certain I was going to have to replace her.
But Zoe, being Zoe, had refused to allow it, much to my pleasure and relief. It didn’t mean I was taking her with us when we went to look for the colony, though. She’d be three months pregnant at that point, and we’d be roughing it, so she and Eric would be heading back with the others who chose to return to the Tower.
Not that I’d told her that yet. But I was certain Eric would back me up on that decision. He wasn’t happy about her going in the first place, so I was betting he’d be on board when I did eventually bring it up.
“I’m not sorry for being overprotective,” I told her, shouldering the bags and turning back to the others. “But I am sorry if it’s driving you crazy.”
She smiled at me, her eyes glistening with humor and love. “It is, but in the best possible way. Still… Grey, tell your woman to back off, or I’ll make her the epicenter of every one of my hormonally driven outbursts.”
Grey gave her an arch look. “If you think I have any control over what Liana Castell does, you have severely overestimated my power in this relationship.”
I gaped at him, appalled that he would insinuate that I was in charge of our relationship, but it quickly faded to good humor when I saw the teasing glint in his eyes. “Hey, you said you liked your women independent,” I replied tartly. “This is the price you pay.”
“Oh, get a room.” Zoe snorted, before grabbing Eric’s hand and marching past us. My cheeks flushed, but I knew her jab was well meant, and I appreciated her and Eric leaving. I’d been so busy the last month that I’d barely gotten to spend any time with Grey beyond climbing into bed next to him and passing out. The amount of planning and coordination that had gone into this had been massive, and the responsibilities had only grown the closer we had gotten to our departure date. As it was, I hadn’t returned to our quarters last night until almost four, and then had taken a shower and put on fresh clothes instead of trying to get any rest.
All the time apart was putting a definite strain on our relationship—when it had only just started to become comfortable again. When Leo left, we’d both had a hard time coping with it. I had lost someone I loved, and he had lost someone who understood him better than he understood himself. More than that, Leo’s personality had rubbed off on Grey in more ways than I could count—in his mannerisms and speech, right down to the gestures he made when he spoke. He was still Grey, but there was an undercurrent of Leo that was there, stamped all over him.
Which also made it hard. It was hard looking at him and not seeing Leo in everything that he did. Sometimes when he smiled, or looked surprised, my heart would break from the loss, and I would start to cry uncontrollably. It was like Leo had died, and even though I knew he hadn’t, he might as well have. I couldn’t be with him—not just because he was essentially with my AI clone, but because he had to stay in the Core forever. If I saw him again, I’d never be able to touch him, or kiss him, or ha
ve him hold me.
And since I had experienced those things when he had been in Grey’s body, Grey being there only served to remind me of what I had lost, which had made it so much harder. Not just for me, but for him as well. He had come to rely on Leo’s presence in so many innumerable ways, so being without him made Grey feel lost, and confused about his place in everything, making him insecure and uncertain. And my outbursts over another man didn’t help.
So we’d taken some time apart. He’d take any diplomacy work that came up that would keep him away for weeks at a time, and I buried myself in my work, trying to distract myself. I wasn’t sure how Grey fared during that time, but I hadn’t done well. I’d missed him almost instantly, and known that by pushing him away, I had probably lost him, too.
But I didn’t know what to do about it, and fell into a deep depression.
Surprisingly enough, it had been Lacey who had helped me through it. The head of the Cogs had sensed my bleak turn, and interceded. It took a while for her to convince me to open up, but she got it out of me, bit by bit, until I was crying on her shoulder.
Saving her life had clearly made her more empathetic toward me, because she’d held me through it all, and listened without reservation or judgment. I talked to her about everything, from Grey to the nightmares I still had about the things I had seen in the simulation, and she’d heard me. She helped me, if I was perfectly honest about it. I had finally earned her respect, and all it took was saving her life and the Tower.