“You were seen messing with Alpha Red Alpha. Except it wasn’t you.”
“No,” I said. “It wasn’t.”
“What do you know that we don’t?” said the Matriarch. “Who is this other you?”
“His name is Edmund Drood,” I said. “And he’s part of the family from the Other Hall that briefly replaced ours some years back. The one where all the Droods were dead. Or so we thought.”
I ran them through a quick summary of what happened after Edmund tricked me and Molly into the Other Hall, and what we found there. The Matriarch and the Sarjeant accepted it all without question. Molly picked up on that, and looked at me inquiringly.
“Hostile incursions from other realities are one of the things we guard against,” I explained. “Because the essence of security lies in being sure everyone really is who they appear to be. There’s a whole Drood department who do nothing but watch for breaks in the barriers between the worlds. Fortunately, that happens a lot less often than most people think.”
“But, I know this travel agency in the Nightside . . . ,” said Molly.
“I know you do,” I said. “But that’s you. And the Nightside.”
“How dangerous is this Edmund?” said the Matriarch.
“Very,” I said.
The Sarjeant sniffed briefly. “I think we can handle one rogue Drood.”
Molly smiled at him sweetly. “You might care to remember that the last time this family seriously upset Eddie, by declaring him rogue and trying to have him killed, he wiped the floor with the lot of you and took control of the family.”
“With your help,” I said.
“Trust me,” said the Matriarch. “We haven’t forgotten.”
“Well,” said Molly, “Edmund is worse. He’s the one who poisoned Eddie. Edmund is Dr DOA.”
The Matriarch’s aspect softened, just a little. She reached out to place a surprisingly gentle hand on my arm. “I’m sorry, Eddie. In all the excitement, I honestly forgot.”
The Sarjeant nodded grimly. “I give you my word, Eddie: I will beat him to death with my bare hands for what he has done to you.”
“Only if I don’t get to him first,” I said. “But thanks for the thought.”
“Anything for the family works both ways,” said the Matriarch. “It’s what makes us Droods.”
It hadn’t always been that way, and we all knew it. But I nodded politely, thanking her for the thought.
“Are you sure what’s happened here is down to Edmund?” I said, deliberately changing the subject. “Could there be someone else involved? It’s not like he’s our only enemy.”
“We have no reason to believe anyone else is working with him,” said the Matriarch. “Unless you know better?”
“He used to work with a partner,” said Molly. “The Psychic Surgeon. But he’s dead now.”
Something in the way she said that told the Matriarch and the Sarjeant-at-Arms all they needed to know. The Sarjeant actually nodded approvingly to Molly, something I never thought I’d see. He turned quickly to face me, before anyone could comment.
“At first we all thought he was you,” said the Sarjeant, “come home early, because you’d failed in your search to find your killer. It did seem a bit odd that Molly wasn’t with you, but you just said you didn’t want to talk about it. And given your . . . condition, no one felt like pressing you. However, your doppelganger made a fundamental mistake: He went around being nice to everyone. Several members of the family brought their suspicions to me, and I was actually searching the Hall for you when the alarm sounded. The Great Evacuation Event.”
“And given that we’d already heard the Emergency Alert from the Armoury,” said the Matriarch, “everyone just dropped everything and ran. Because we’ve always known those damned lab assistants will be the death of us.”
“I made sure everyone got out safely,” said the Sarjeant. “And then I hung back, checking for stragglers and people who might have fallen.”
“He was the last man out,” said the Matriarch. “Even in the middle of an emergency, with that awful sound braying in our heads, the Sarjeant still knew his duty. He wouldn’t leave the Hall until he was sure everyone else was out.”
“Except you, Eddie,” said the Sarjeant. “I couldn’t find you, so I asked Ethel where you were. She said she couldn’t see you anywhere inside the Hall, so I just assumed you’d already made it out.”
The Matriarch looked at him coldly. It only took me a moment to realise why. The Sarjeant had talked to Ethel, even though the Matriarch had forbidden him to do so.
“The moment I was out the front door,” the Sarjeant-at-Arms said grimly, “the force shield slammed down. And I knew we’d been deceived.”
“It took us a while to discover there was no way back in,” said the Matriarch.
“I talked with Maxwell and Victoria,” said the Sarjeant. “They were adamant nothing unusual had happened in the Armoury. But they had seen you doing something with Alpha Red Alpha.”
“We were still discussing why you might have done this,” said the Matriarch, “when you showed up outside the shield.”
“How can you be sure I’m really me?” I said.
“Because you’re with Molly,” said the Sarjeant. “And she’d know.”
“Damn right,” said Molly. She fixed the Matriarch with an accusing glare. “Why didn’t Ethel know Edmund was a fake?”
The Sarjeant looked to the Matriarch, who said nothing.
“Oh, come on!” I said loudly. “You’re still not talking to Ethel? This is an emergency!” I raised my voice and addressed the empty air. “Ethel! Can you hear me?”
Her voice sounded immediately out of nowhere, right in front of me, but there was no trace of her usual comforting presence. “Hello, Eddie. Of course I can hear you. Welcome home. Did you bring me back a present from the Other World?”
“Trust me,” I said. “They didn’t have anything you’d want. Why didn’t you detect Edmund’s presence in the Hall? Did you think he was me?”
“No,” Ethel said calmly. “I couldn’t see him at all. Even now I know he’s here, he remains hidden from me in ways I don’t understand. In fact, before this I would have said such a thing was impossible. I’m going to have to think about this.”
“Can you at least tell us what he’s doing right now?” said the Sarjeant. He didn’t even glance at the Matriarch.
“No,” said Ethel. “But I can tell you that something has happened inside the Hall. Something very bad.”
We all waited, but Ethel had nothing more to say. Even after I shouted her name several times. I glared at the Matriarch.
“You’ve upset her. The incredibly powerful, other-dimensional provider of all our torcs and armour is upset! Because of you! I don’t care what your problem is; sort it out! Or I’ll do it for you.”
The Matriarch glared right back at me. “You do not get to set policy! You are not in charge of the family!”
“That could change,” I said.
The Matriarch turned away to look determinedly at the Hall. “We have to get back inside. There’s no telling what Edmund could be doing with uninterrupted access to all our secrets.”
“Or what he might do, with access to everything in the Armoury,” said the Sarjeant. “If he hates Droods as much as you say, Eddie . . .”
“Oh, he does,” I said steadily. “He oversaw the slaughter of every man, woman, and child in his family.”
The Matriarch turned back to look at me, honestly outraged. “Why? Why would he do such a thing to his own family?”
I looked at Molly, and she looked at me.
“The Droods in the Other Hall . . . weren’t like us,” I said finally. The Sarjeant frowned and started to say something, but I stopped him with a look. “Believe me; you don’t want to know.”
Something
in my voice convinced him. Perhaps fortunately, Maxwell and Victoria came hurrying forward at that point, calling out and waving urgently. They nodded briefly to me and Molly, and then swept straight past us to get to the Matriarch. Maxwell smiled winningly at her.
“I think I might have something!”
“You do have something!” said Victoria. “Be positive, sweetie.”
“Well, yes, of course I have something,” said Maxwell, “but whether it’s something that will actually help . . .”
“It’s a marvellous idea,” Victoria said firmly. “One of your best. You must learn to stand up for yourself, Max! Have confidence in yourself!”
“I do, Vicki, I do. It’s just . . .”
“Tell the Matriarch what you told me.”
“I am telling her, dearest.”
I looked at Molly, she nodded, and we moved quietly away. Leaving the Matriarch and the Sarjeant to the Armourer, and whatever their marvellous idea might turn out to be. By the time Maxwell and Victoria had finished explaining it, the odds were the emergency would be over. I strolled along the grassy verge before the Hall, peering closely at the shimmering air, just on the off chance I might spot something useful. Molly strode along beside me, kicking moodily at the grass. An old man emerged from the crowd and headed straight for us, raising a hand to attract my attention. I stopped to let him join us. He took his own time, not hurrying himself. He finally smiled engagingly at both of us, and I suddenly realised he was the only member of my family I’d seen who didn’t appear in the least agitated. He might just have been out for a nice stroll, and stopped to join us for a spot of conversation.
The old man was of average height and average weight, with an entirely average face. I immediately wondered whether he might have been a field agent in his younger days. Because we’re trained to appear average and unremarkable, so we won’t stand out. If he hadn’t taken such pains to make himself known to me, I wouldn’t have noticed him at all. He looked to be in his late seventies, with a bald head and a heavily lined face. But his back was straight, his gaze was clear, and his mouth was firm. In his smart but anonymous three-piece suit, he could have been a retired banker. Except he had the look of a man who had seen things and done things. And if he had been a field agent, quite possibly terrible things, in the service of the family . . . None of which would have bothered his sleep in the least.
“Eddie, Molly,” he said easily. “I understand you’ve been looking for the hidden operatives in the family. The very-secret agents who don’t officially exist. Responsible for all the morally dubious and plausibly deniable actions that the family never likes to talk about.”
“Yes,” I said. “But I really don’t think this is the time.”
“Oh, I think you’ll find it is,” he said, cutting across me. “If you want to get inside the Hall and stop your evil twin from trashing the place.”
“Who are you?” said Molly.
“My name is Peter. And I am all that’s left of the very-secret agents. The last man standing.”
“Okay,” I said. “Really not what I was expecting.”
“I was still working until fairly recently,” said Peter. “When a stop really needed to be put to something, or someone had to be stepped on with more than usual extreme prejudice, I was still the one they turned to, to take care of business. But everything changes, and the call came less and less often. I was ready to drift into a well-earned retirement when this happened. I’m only telling you now, Eddie, because you’re going to need my help to get this done. And because your uncle Jack and I worked together as field agents, back in the day. He always said I could trust you.”
Molly looked Peter up and down, not even trying to hide her scepticism. “You’re the legendary very-secret agents? Just you?”
“I’m all that’s left. A man who’s outlived his legend and the need for it. The last of the really hard men, moulded by time and necessity. It was all very different when I started out. There used to be a lot of us. But one by one we got old, or died in action, or suffered an attack of conscience that wouldn’t go away . . . And as the years passed there seemed less of a need for our very special services. There isn’t much the family isn’t prepared to do itself these days. And own up to. Either the world has grown harsher, or people just don’t care as much about right and wrong. There’s no denying the general populace knows a lot more about the hidden world than they used to, if not nearly as much as they like to think they do.” He grinned suddenly. “And, of course, we always were very paranoid when it came to bringing new people into our little circle. For fear we might be exposed and forced to pay for our family’s sins. Now I am the only one left. The last Drood prepared to do absolutely anything for the family. To get the job done, whatever it takes, and not go crying to the therapist afterwards.”
He grinned again. “Of course, I could be lying. To put you off the scent, so you won’t go looking for anyone else. Just thought I’d say that before you could. So! You can believe me or not, as you please. I don’t give a damn. What matters is, I can get us inside the Hall so we can take care of business.” He looked down the grassy verge, to where the Matriarch was still listening patiently to the Armourer. “I’ve been hanging around, in case the Matriarch caught my eye and gave me the nod . . . But she’s new. I don’t know her, and she doesn’t know me. All she sees is the old man, not the old agent.”
Molly looked at me. “Talks a lot, doesn’t he?” She turned to Peter. “The Matriarch does know what you are?”
“Of course,” said Peter. “The Armourer briefed Maggie after she became Matriarch. Your uncle Jack, that is, Eddie. I don’t trust those two youngsters. Look like they’d have a fit of the vapours and call for the smelling salts if you even talked about real wet work, or the joys of encouraging insurrection. Jack . . . was a far more practical man.”
He flashed me his smile again. I was trusting it less and less.
“He always had a lot of time for you, Eddie. Said he could depend on you. And I have to do something! I can’t just stand around while this Edmund gets up to God knows what . . . But I’m not sure I can stop him on my own. I need Eddie Drood to stop Edmund.”
“You know about Edmund?” said Molly.
“Of course,” Peter said patiently. “I keep up with things. He’s another version of you, Eddie, from an alternate history. It doesn’t matter; he’s just another threat to the family, another scumbag who needs killing. And it does feel good . . . to smell blood on the air again, and hear the bugle sounding the call to action! I thought I’d enjoy retirement, away from all the pressure, but . . . I wasn’t made to sit around, watching daytime television. So, let’s go, Eddie! And Molly too, of course. There’s work to be done.”
“I’m happy to accept your help, if you can get us in there,” I said carefully, “but after that, maybe you should sit this one out. We can’t afford to hold back so you can keep up.”
He met my gaze with a steady dignity. “My armour is as strong and fast as it ever was, even if I’m not. And while age can slow a man down, skill and experience can still give him the edge. You don’t get to my age, living the kind of life I’ve lived, without being very hard to kill. I am not being left out of this! I know things about the Hall that most of the family aren’t allowed to know. And there’s always the chance you’ll need me, Eddie. To do the one thing you might not be able to.”
“And what might that be?” I said.
“Kill the man who looks just like you,” said Peter.
“Trust me,” I said. “That isn’t going to be a problem.”
Peter smiled, and for the first time, it felt like a real smile. “Good to know.”
I looked to Molly, who nodded quickly, so I nodded to Peter. “How do we get past this shield?”
“My predecessors set up their own private ways in and out of the Hall,” Peter said easily. “So we could come and go as needed,
without attracting the family’s attention.”
“So what they didn’t know, they wouldn’t worry about?” I said.
“Exactly!” said Peter, beaming happily.
“And,” I said, “so no one could stop you from doing things the family might not approve of.”
His smiled faded. “The family was better off not knowing.”
“What about accountability?” I said.
“What about it?” said Peter.
“If no one in the family knew what you were up to, how could they be sure you weren’t crossing the line?” I said steadily. “Doing things that would make you as bad as the people you were up against. There always has to be a line you don’t cross, whatever the temptation or the provocation.”
“I thought you understood,” said Peter. “The whole point of the very-secret agents is, there is no line! We do what matters, what’s necessary, whatever the cost. And we carry the responsibility for it, not the family.”
I remembered talking to Grey about this, in the Other Hall. Defending my family by saying they were nothing like the Droods he knew. And now I had to wonder if I might have been wrong after all. Peter saw the doubt in my face and made an exasperated sound.
“Get down off your moral high horse, boy. You’ve done your share of things the family didn’t approve of.”
“Because some of them crossed the line,” I said. “I never did.”
Peter sniffed loudly. “Easy enough, when you’re the one who decides where the line is.”
We were standing face-to-face now, scowling at each other. Molly cleared her throat loudly.
“That’s enough! As someone who probably couldn’t see the line even if someone else pointed it out to her, can I be the one to suggest that this is an argument for another time? Eddie, calm down and concentrate on the matter at hand. Peter, talk politely to my Eddie, or I will fill your underwear with invisible scorpions.”