CHAPTER IV.
A NEW LEAF, AND HOW IT WAS FILLED.
The next morning Amy awoke early. It was cold and rainy, and she feltinclined to turn on her pillow, but the feeling came strongly over herthat she had something _new_ before her, that this week was to be thestarting-point of a new life; and the verse, too, which had been thelast on her lips in the evening, was the first in her heart in themorning, "By love serve one another." She remembered that the fire hadto be lit, and the water brought from the spring for the kettle; soshe jumped out of bed, and was quickly dressed and ready to godownstairs. Kitty would not follow her example. She did not forget toask God's blessing on the day, and then she called Kitty again. ButKitty was very sleepy; she only said she was sure it would be time toget up in half an hour, and wrapped herself up comfortably and went tosleep again. Amy thought it was rather selfish of Kitty to leave allthe work to her; but she said nothing, and tripped downstairs. She hadsoon brought the water and lighted the fire, and brushed and dustedeverything neat and bright, and then she found she had a little timeto spare. Near their cottage lived a poor old widow, named Hill. Amyknew she could hardly hobble about her house to do her work, and shethought it would be a nice way of "serving one another," if she werejust to run down and light Widow Hill's fire, and put her room neat.No sooner planned than done. Away she ran; half-an-hour, with Amy'slight feet and busy fingers, did the work which would have cost theold woman an hour or two; and rich with the widow's thanks, andhungry with work, she tripped back to breakfast, happy to think howher mother would be pleased with what she had done.
But on entering the cottage, Amy's spirits received a sudden check;the family were all at breakfast, and her father spoke rather severelyto her about her never being in time for anything. Amy did not answer;she felt ill-used, and she was too much hurt to say what she had beenabout; so she sat down in silence to her breakfast. Kitty was besideher, yawning as if she had only just got out of bed. "Yet," thoughtAmy, "no one ever scolds her; it is no good to try to please people."So Amy sat, getting angrier and angrier, and not enjoying herbreakfast a bit, and thinking everybody very unkind, although she saidnothing; you might, perhaps, have thought she bore the rebuke verymeekly. Now, I do not mean to deny that this was a trial for poorAmy. It is a very great trial to be blamed and misunderstood when wehave been seeking to please people; but it is the pride of our ownhearts which makes it so trying. If we were lowly, harsh words wouldnot have half the power to wound us. Amy felt this, and she felt shewas doing wrong, but that only made her more vexed; for instead ofacknowledging her fault to herself, and asking God to forgive her andstrengthen her against it, she went on brooding over her wrongs andnursing her anger in silence. After breakfast, Kitty asked her if shehad been working in their garden all this time.
"No," said Amy shortly.
"Have you been learning your lessons for next Sunday, then?"
"No," answered Amy still more sharply.
Kitty looked puzzled for a minute, and then she laughed, and said, "Ican't see what good you've got, Amy, by being in such haste to getup. You seem to have done nothing but lose your temper."
This was altogether more than Amy could bear; she made a bitter reply,and a quarrel began between the sisters, which made their walk toschool very uncomfortable. It was so different from yesterday, Amyfelt ready to cry, but she was ashamed that Kitty should see. Poor Amyentered the school-room with a sore heart. A bad temper is not likelyto get sweet of itself, so Amy went on more and more discontented withherself, and her lessons, and everything else, until the class wascalled to read their morning lesson. The text from the Bible whichstood at the head of the lesson happened to be, "For if you, from yourheart, forgive not your brother his trespasses, how can your heavenlyFather forgive you your trespasses?" Amy had to read these words, andthey struck to her heart; she thought of what sinful and angryfeelings she had been cherishing, and how much she had to ask God toforgive her, and how little she felt inclined to forgive in her sisterand others; and afterwards, as she wrote her copy, hot tears fell onthe page, and she confessed her fault in her heart to God, and beggedhim to forgive her. Then she felt happier at once. After school, oneof her school-fellows was kept in to finish a sum; she was crying, anddid not seem able to do it, so Amy went quietly to her, and showed herthe way, and then danced off to the play-ground. On their way home shehad a harder struggle to make, and that was to tell Kitty she wassorry for her hasty words; but she conquered, and Kitty havingconfessed that she too had been in the wrong, the sisters felt happyagain together.
This was true repentance; it was a sorrow for and confession of sin,and then forsaking the sin; it was a change of mind. That evening Amyfelt very serious when she thought over the day's doings; she wasweaker than she had thought--it was harder to do right than she hadbelieved; but she resolved to try harder again to-morrow. So she wentto bed hopeful, although rather sad. We shall see how her resolutionswere carried out.