It was strange. Here I was, a month and a half after the accident, finally able to allow myself to feel what I’d been denying, avoiding. I loved Logan, and for once I wasn’t going to overthink it.
My mom was already sitting at a booth with a plate of scrambled eggs and hash browns when I strolled into Haven, feeling like my world had been finally set right. Any lingering doubt I had about Logan was somehow washed away by his affection that morning. I loved him, and without a doubt, I knew he loved me.
“There you are. Thought you forgot,” she said, smiling. She stood and pulled me in for a big hug, then stepped back, looking me over.
“You look beautiful, honey. How you feeling?” She slid back down into her seat, and I did the same across from her.
“Wonderful.” I couldn’t help the grin that was stinging my cheeks.
The waiter approached, and I ordered some pancakes as my mom’s stare focused on me, a slight furrow to her brow.
“What?” I asked, my lips twitching.
“Nothing, it’s just good to see you smile. Been too long.”
“I agree. So how’s work going?” I asked.
“Fine, but I wanted to meet you to talk about something other than work.”
That didn’t sound good.
“I heard you went to see a loan officer at the bank.”
“Mom…” I drawled, popping my elbow on the table.
“Now listen, I told you—”
“Don’t worry about it, Logan helped me out. The house isn’t involved.”
She sighed, relieved. “I’m glad to hear it, but surprised. Does that mean you are actually on speaking terms with him?”
I nodded, the grin back in place over my lips. Definitely on speaking terms.
“I see. Well, I don’t know what you and him are doing, but be careful. I like him—a lot—but I also know he has an arrest on file that has me a little concerned.”
“An arrest?” Shock was heavy in my voice.
“Yeah, I’m sure he’d prefer me to keep it to myself, and because I believe that man is in love with you, I’ll do just that. Everyone has a past, but stay clear of that ex-girlfriend of his.”
“No problem there,” I grumbled.
“How’s Oliver?”
The waiter set my plate down and I poured on some syrup.
“Honestly, I haven’t seen too much of him, but that’s about to change.”
“So you and Logan West,” she said, more to herself, smiling. “I wondered how long it would take him.”
“You were convinced I wouldn’t be able to resist?” I half chuckled, slightly offended.
“Can’t resist the inevitable, honey.”
I took a bite, realizing she was right. I was through resisting anything when it came to Logan.
We finished eating, chatting about her boyfriend and the bombshell that I should’ve been expecting: they were moving in together. It was easy to see how she felt about him in the way she spoke. A peaceful feeling settled over me. After years alone, she was finally happy.
Now came the part I was dreading—the part that should’ve happened before or during breakfast, but it hadn’t felt right. So as she pulled out her wallet, I knew I had to do it now or I’d regret it all day. I reached into my tote and pulled out the hat box, sitting it on the table.
“What’s that?” she asked, smoothing a twenty through her fingers.
“For you. I found it in the attic.”
Her brows pulled in as slid it closer to her.
“I never knew about him and Nina. I had no clue.”
She gasped, her eyes darting up from the box to me in a panic. “Why would you? You were a child.”
“I’m so sorry.” My heart broke for her.
“So am I. You deserved a better father.”
We sat quietly for a few minutes as she read my grandmother’s letter to her and then pulled out the picture of my father and Nina.
“I was blindsided when he left… especially with her. She was barely an adult. Her father was livid, to put it mildly.” She placed everything back in the box and closed the lid, looking up at me softly. “It was…horrible. A bad dream that took me weeks to realize wasn’t ending. I never told you because it wasn’t my place. If your father wanted you in his life, he could have visited you. I never would have stopped him.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s been too long now. Wherever he is, I don’t need him, and neither do you,” I told her as I reached across the table and took her hand.
Giving mine a squeeze, she smiled. “How did I raise such a strong woman?”
“I have no clue,” I teased, then drew in a breath. “I take after my mother: the strongest woman I know.”
“All right, I got to get to work before you having me tearing up.” My mother grabbed her purse and stood as I finished my orange juice. “Give me another hug, and drive carefully. Those roads are slick out there. This winter doesn’t seem to want to let up.”
I nodded and stood as she took the box.
“Maybe we can double date sometime,” she offered, hugging me tightly.
Double date with my mother and George? I grimaced, but something told me it wasn’t negotiable.
“I’ll be looking forward to it,” I said.
My mother released me with a knowing smile. “Still a terrible liar, Cassie.”
She laughed and I watched her walk away, happy.
The drive home was at a grueling pace due to the thick snow drifting over the road, but I made it safely. I spent the rest of the day cleaning a little and lounging around a lot. Stir crazy—that’s how I felt. I missed school, and I missed Logan.
By four o’clock, I was showered, lotioned up, and throwing on an easy dress—easy for Logan to remove, anyway. I pulled my hair into a loose bun and stared at myself in the mirror. The reflection that greeted me was one I hadn’t seen in a couple of years—before the accident, and before Mark’s betrayal.
I was deliriously happy, and I could’ve sworn I was actually glowing. My phone chirped and I all but skipped over to it. I hadn’t been able to control my urge to text him throughout the day, and he hadn’t seemed to mind.
Still miss me?
I laughed at his reply to my text from an hour earlier. He’d told me he’d be in meetings most of the afternoon.
Maybe
Liar. And for the record…I miss u…BADLY.
Good :) Show me how much when u get here.
Butterflies roared to life in my gut, fluttering around with anticipation as the phone sounded with his reply.
Nothing could stop me
It was just after four thirty when the doorbell rang. It was so unlike Logan to not just waltz right in, but I was too excited to drag him back to bed to give it any real thought.
I opened the door with an eager smile, only to be greeted by the swollen red eyes of Hilary.
“Hilary, what’s wrong?” I asked, hurrying her inside and out of the icy weather.
Her face was pale, her bottom lip disappearing between her teeth as she gnawed at it, clutching a brown paper bag in her hands.
“I went shopping today,” she replied eerily and nodded down at said bag, crinkled in her hand as though she’d held it the entire drive over.
She held it out and I took it, hesitant to open it by her pained expression. It was more supermarket shopping than boutique.
“Before you open it, you have to swear not to tell anyone.”
What was in there? “Of course.”
Nervously, I unrolled the bag that had been nearly worn through from her handling of it, and peeked inside.
“Hilary.” I sighed, pulling out a pregnancy test that was piled in the bag with a dozen more of every brand.
She plopped down on the couch and shrugged out of her coat, not saying a word. I didn’t press her—just placed it back in the bag and sat beside her quietly for support, unsure what I could say or do.
“Caleb’s going to kill me,” she finally said after a few minute
s.
I pulled my legs under me. “Are you sure about this? I mean, have you taken a test yet?”
“Not yet. I was waiting till you were with me. Didn’t want to do it before school. ” She ran her hand over her eyes and down her face. “My cycle has been regular since I was thirteen, yet I’m two weeks late.”
“Did you guys use protection?”
“I’m on the pill, but I may have forgotten to take them every day.”
“You forgot?” I hadn’t meant for that to sound as judgmental as it had come out.
“Yes, forgot! Seeing as my best friend was laid up in a hospital, unconscious, I was a little stressed last month, all right!?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” Crap. What a good friend I was. I took a deep breath and stood. “There’s no reason to sit here freaking out until we have an answer.”
I dumped the bag over the coffee table, spilling the tests out.
“Did you need so many?” I chuckled, then bit the inside of my lip. Not the time to laugh.
“I grabbed every kind off the shelf and made a beeline for the register. Had to throw in an extra twenty to swear Mr. Tanner to secrecy.” I caught the twitch at the corner of her lip.
“Seriously, you’re worried old Mr. Tanner’s going to spread gossip?” There was no way to hold in my laughter at that. The man was pressing ninety-five years old.
“Shut up!” She giggled, throwing a test at me. “I was panicked, all right!?”
“Whatever you say.” I grinned.
“There has to be an easier way,” I said through my hysterical laughter.
“Come on, hand me another.”
I was nearly bent over, standing in the doorway to my bathroom. I handed her another test as she sat on the toilet. She dipped it into her stream of urine before setting it on the counter.
“Another, hurry!”
“You have eight more. There is no way you have that much pee in you!” I shook my head in disbelief, holding out another test.
“Shit!”
“Told you.”
“Okay, well, we have the first seven tests, and I’ll drink lots of water and take the rest next.”
“You sound crazy, you know that, right? You only need one—maybe two, tops.”
Hilary flushed the toilet, stood, and pulled up her jeans. The tests were thrown all over the counter, and all she could do was sigh as she turned on the faucet and washed her hands.
“I know, I just want to be sure. So please just let me have my irrational freak-out.”
My attention was now trained on the instructions, reading to see how long we needed to wait, when my head dipped back in a fit of laughter.
“What now?” She turned back, staring at me. “I get it. I took too many tests. Haha.”
I shook my head and read back the new knowledge I’d learned. “‘Place a clean cup in the urine stream to collect sample, then dip the test for five seconds.’”
She gaped at me and sucked in a deep breath, blowing it out and rolling her eyes. “Well, now we know for the next time someone, maybe even you, has a pregnancy scare.”
“Watch that mouth of yours!” I cracked a smile and tossed the paper in the trash with all the others. “Besides, there’s no cup of mine I’d have let you piss in!”
Hilary laughed and followed me out to the living room. Five minutes later, all seven pregnancy tests were spread out on the small coffee table over a long sheet of paper towels. It was hard to watch as she anxiously placed each one out, her hands trembling, gnawing on her lip as the timer counted down the minutes.
The buzzer jolted her up from her seat, absolutely terror-stricken.
“I can’t look! You do it!” She walked across the room and began pacing.
“You sure?”
“Positive. I mean—just do it, no positives. Please!” Her nails were being chomped to bits in her mouth, her eyes glued to her feet.
“Whatever these say, it’s going to be all right. I’m here for you, and Caleb will be, too. He’s a good guy.”
I looked down at the first test and then ran my eye over each one in the line. They all revealed the same results.
“Well?” She was facing me now.
“Congratulations—you’re going to be a mother, and a damn good one!”
“Oh…I’m going to be sick.” With that, she sprinted from the room, slamming the bathroom door shut behind her.
This may not have been how she’d planned it, but she loved Caleb and he loved her. I knew they’d make it work. He wouldn’t leave her.
I’d started cleaning up the table when my phone rang.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Hello, sweetheart. Sorry, I’m running late. Oliver had a karate class after school, but I’d love for us to have dinner. Can you come over in an hour?”
Hilary walked back in the room then with a washcloth, wiping her mouth. She was as white as a ghost.
“I’m sorry, Hilary’s here and she isn’t feeling well. How about tomorrow?”
There was a beat of silence before he spoke. “You’re not backing away, are you?”
“No, I told you last night and this morning. I’m yours.”
“Good, then I’ll come see you tonight after I put Oliver to bed. Jax should be home by ten to keep an eye on him while he sleeps, then I’ll be there.”
“I’ll be waiting,” I said before hanging up.
“You and Logan finally worked things out, huh?” Hilary smiled.
“Yeah, it appears so.” I placed the phone on the side table and continued cleaning up, walking into the kitchen.
“If you have plans, I can go.”
“No, stay and hang out. We can try another hand of poker and see if our luck’s improved,” I said, opening the junk drawer by my fridge.
“Seriously,” Hilary said, her eyes darting to her stomach, “does it look like luck’s on my side?”
“How about a movie then?” I chuckled, tossing the cards back in the drawer and heading back to the sofa.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Blindsided
That night, after Hilary left, Logan was there just before ten and had me wrapped around his body before the door was shut behind him. We spent the night making love and talking about nothing important, and yet it meant more to me than anything else. For the first time in a long time, I felt the connection I’d been longing for.
The next day, I went out to get groceries for dinner. I wanted to make something special for Logan and Oliver, and found myself walking blissfully through the grocery store when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand.
I looked back, feeling eyes on me, only to see the back of someone’s legs as he or she left the aisle. I shook off the shiver and continued until I had a cart full of groceries and was on my way home.
The roads were icy and snow-covered, so I took my time, my nervousness about driving after the accident amplified even more by the weather. As I drove down a back road, I noticed a pickup truck behind me. It was close to my bumper, and then it was swerving.
I slowed, watching the scene unfold as the truck lost control and flew across the other lane into the ditch. I pulled over immediately and ran over, opening the driver door, when I noticed the man inside clutching his head.
“Are you all right? Did you hit your head?” I asked.
Slowly, his hands lowered, and I found myself staring into the familiar, menacing eyes of Kurt, my blind date who, last I heard, was still in jail.
My stomach dropped, but I tried to play it off. Maybe he wouldn’t remember me.
“I left my phone in my car, I’ll go grab it and call for help,” I explained, smiling, hoping he didn’t recognize me. I was about a quarter mile from my house and knew the tow truck wouldn’t be there for at least twenty minutes with the condition of the roads.
“Thank you,” he said with a smile, then dropped his head back into hands. “I hit my head on the steering column.”
“Just stay there, I’ll be rig
ht back.”
It was a lie. I’d get in my car, drive away, and then call for help. His head looked fine and so did his car, but I’d still call for help—I just wouldn’t leave myself out there with him, in case he did suddenly remember me.
As I walked to my car, I heard him step out, then slam his door behind him. I quickened my pace and made it to my car, rushing inside and grabbing my phone.
With a trembling finger, I shot a text to Logan.
Kurt near house.
The knock on my window startled me, my phone slipping through my hands as I looked up to see Kurt staring in.
“I just phoned the local garage for a tow truck. Do you want me to call for an ambulance?” I asked through the glass as I gripped my keys tightly.
“I can’t hear you!” he yelled through the glass.
“I said, do you want me to—”
He shook his head as though he still couldn’t understand me. I rolled the window down half an inch. I still wasn’t sure if he was a threat, since he didn’t appear to remember me. I reminded myself that I needed to calm down.
Lifting myself up slightly, I spoke through the open crack of the window. “Do you need me to call the paramedics?”
“No, thanks, that won’t be necessary, Cassandra!” His smile faded into a snarling scowl.
A scream shot out of me when his arm connected with my window. I flew across the seat as he beat on it again and again. My keys fell from my hands and I struggled to cover my face while scouring the floorboards to find them.
Glass showered over me with his final blow. His hand encompassed my ankle, while his other reached in through the broken window and unlocked the door.
“What’s the chance that I run into you before leaving this shitty little town, huh?”
Glass tore into my stomach as he yanked me across the seat. My feet were relentless, kicking, beating down as hard as I could manage while I clawed against the seat, fighting to reach the other door handle, desperate for an escape.
“Let me go!” I shrieked, finally grasping the handle.