“I appreciate you apologizing, but it’s a little late,” I said to Mark. “You tore my world apart—a fake world that I obviously created in my head, but still my world. I can’t forgive you for that, and I don’t want to. I’m not sad or angry—I’ve just moved on. The fact that I can sit here and listen to you tell me you’ve been with half the girls in our high school and not break down crying proves that. So the next time you see me, don’t come over. I’m not—”
Another massive crash of what sounded like pots and pans caused Hilary to drag me away and into the restroom.
“What the hell is going on back there!?” I asked the second the door closed behind us.
“Holy shit, you should have seen Logan! When he saw Mark walk over to you, he was about to run over there and rip into the guy. The only reason he stayed away so long was because Jax was there talking him down,” she explained, fixing her hair in the mirror. “The guy has a temper, but what I want to know is why you were sitting there with Mark in the first place.”
“It doesn’t matter. What’s going on with Caleb?” I asked, not wanting to think any more about either man from my past. “You don’t seem brokenhearted.”
“I’ve never been better. He was—” she began, but the interruption of the bathroom door opening revealing Natasha changed her grin into a more formal, friendly smile.
She strolled in, ignoring us as she went straight to the mirror and applied a new layer of deep-crimson lipstick. It did little for her olive complexion.
“Sorry about coming off a little harsh back there. It’s been a long night,” Hilary said in a way-too-friendly voice. “I hope you enjoy our small town.”
“I’m sure I will. Caleb seems eager to show me around.”
It took everything in me not to say something, but Hilary took the jab like a champ. I wasn’t sure if Natasha had caught on to Caleb and Hilary’s relationship status, and I knew from her seat she wouldn’t have seen them kissing in the back, but anyone could’ve seen there was something between them from the way Hilary had stormed over originally.
“Yeah, Caleb’s great. I’m sure you’ll enjoy him.” Hilary turned back to the mirror in front of her, smoothing a finger over her perfectly trimmed brow. We stood in silence until Natasha left a minute later.
“All right spill! You’re sure she’ll enjoy him? What the hell, Hilary? Please don’t tell me you guys have some weird open-relationship thing going on!”
“Hell no!” She turned away from the mirror, her face scrunched in disgust. “That is one man I’ll never share.”
“Good to know. So what’s going on, then?”
“Caleb’s doing a favor. He told me she’s Logan’s ex.”
I nodded, confirming I already knew.
“She’s pretty,” Hilary said.
Yeah, she was. I sucked in my lips, averting my eyes that no doubt relayed the pang of jealousy I hated feeling.
“But you’re gorgeous. She has nothing on you. Not to mention she looks like a slut.”
A smile broke out over my face. “So what’s the favor Caleb’s doing?”
Her face lit up, ready to divulge, but first she danced over to the door peeked out. All must’ve been clear, because she turned back and started talking.
“Logan asked if he’d try to get some information out of her—see why she was really back in town. You know, two guys working a scheme, playing out some James Bond fantasy. We would totally be the Bond girls!”
She looked pleased with the image, but I was more interested in hearing her continue. Catching the hint, she rolled her eyes at my insistent hand motion.
“Anyway, Logan told Natasha he’d meet her here, but when she arrived, he texted her that something came up and he couldn’t make. He said her drinks were on his tab for the night, then handed her off to Caleb, whose mission was to try and get her drunk and sweet talk her into spilling her guts.” She said the last part with extra enthusiasm.
“Spilling her guts?” I laughed once. “So why is she back?”
“Turns out we interrupted before he got anything out of her—at least, anything other than the fact that she wants to take him back to her hotel and do things that would have me ripping her eyes out and send me to a life behind bars. Orange is not my color.”
“Gotcha.” I rubbed my hand over my chest, my brain nearing exhaustion. “Well, let’s leave them to it, shall we?”
“Actually, Logan asked if I’d stay. He said he’d take you home, and I could cover his job.”
My head began to pound. “His job?”
“Yeah, he’s been in the back keeping an eye on her—you know, in case she really came back to try and take Oliver. He wants as much information as he can get on her, and from what I understand, she’s not one to turn down a drink or five to loosen up. At least, he was keeping an eye on her till Mark decided to sit beside you. Now Caleb’s trying to cool him down. Logan does not like Mark, by the way.”
I only heard one thing. “Take Oliver? You mean she wants custody?”
The thought brought a tremble to my knees. Just the icy look in the woman’s eyes told me she’d be no good for him, but maybe I was wrong. The fact that Logan was setting her up left me torn. What if all she really wanted was a fresh start?
“Logan didn’t say. I only talked to him a moment in the kitchen—you know, in between his threats of killing the two cooks holding him down. Poor guys. One took a punch in the face.”
“Oh my God!” I gasped. “Because he was trying to keep Logan from coming out and blowing some so-called scheme?”
“No, because the guy made a comment that he once heard Mark say you were terrible in bed.”
I blanched. Mark had said that, and Logan had heard it.
“Ignore him. Mark just started rumors to keep other guys away from you because he knew you could do better.”
“Right,” I mumbled under my breath, my pulse racing. There were rumors? And to drive it home, they were about my performance in the bedroom? I wasn’t sure how I felt, other than ready to get the hell out of there.
“Come on, let’s get you home. I’m going to stay in the back with a camera, in case anything happens and Natasha does something he can use against her if she tries to go after Oliver.”
Hilary walked with me across the restaurant, then gave me a small hug and a sympathetic smile. “It’s gonna be all right. Logan should be waiting for you outside.”
I slipped out my phone the second she was gone and sent a text.
At Haven. Need a ride home. Please get here fast.
It only took a minute to get a reply.
Be there in 5.
I knew Logan was there the moment I opened the door and stepped outside, the cool night air filling my lungs and helping me keep myself strong. Logan paired with the Haven parking lot was not a friendly memory. He stood in a shadow beside the building.
“You’re supposed to be at home resting.” His hoarse voice was thick with underlying disdain.
I rolled my eyes, making sure he could see it. I knew where I was supposed to be, and it wasn’t with some controlling nut. I started to continue making my way toward the sidewalk when his arm wrapped around my waist, steering me in the opposite direction.
“Cassandra, talk to me! Why did you sit there with him?” Logan yelled.
I flinched, not expecting harshness after the gentleness I’d experienced the past week from him.
“It’s none of your business who I sit with!”
“He’s no good! Don’t let him sway you otherwise.”
“You know what, Logan? Despite what you might think, I really can take care of myself. I know exactly who Mark is now, and I don’t need you protecting me from him or anyone else!”
My head spun. Standing there with him again, so close and with such raw anger, caused the memory of New Year’s to begin running wildly through my thoughts. Something in him seemed to notice, as his rage began to dissipate slowly.
“Fine. I’ll go get the car. Wait he
re.” Irritation riddled his voice.
Yeah, I was going to wait all right, but not for him. Just being in that parking lot left me raging inside, as memories of the last time we were there filled my thoughts. I closed my eyes, fighting to block out the haunting images with little success.
“Please hurry, please hurry,” I whispered to myself, my hands shoved deep in my coat pockets, legs trembling. I needed my ride to arrive before he returned, and for once, my wish came true.
“I’m not even going to ask why you’re here,” Luke said, leaning over from his driver’s seat to open the door.
“Good.”
The moment I stepped forward, Logan’s car pulled up, blocking the road from the traffic behind us. I hurried into Luke’s truck and slammed the door just as Logan’s door opened and he began jogging toward my side of the vehicle.
“Just go,” I panted, my adrenaline spiking.
It was childish, but I needed Luke to put some distance between my past and me. Unfortunately, he wasn’t moving, and instead staring at me like I was speaking a dead language. I shot him a puppy-eyed plea, but it was too late—his gaze was focused past me to my window, where Logan was lurking. He leaned down and tapped on it.
To my dismay, Luke hit the button to lower the window.
“I can take you home,” Logan whispered, leaning against the truck.
“Already have a ride. Good night, Logan.” I turned my gaze back out the windshield, staring at the snow-covered road and bright lamp posts.
“I’m sorry, all right? I snapped seeing him there with you. Cassandra, I miss you.”
I closed my eyes, his gentle words ripping through me and pounding on the walls surrounding my thumping but still broken heart.
“I’m tired,” I murmured. “I just want to go home.”
His thumb and forefinger caught my chin, turning my face back to him gently. “I’ll stop by in the morning?”
The longing in his voice was thick and heavy, begging me to say yes. I needed to get away—from that place where my heart was destroyed, from him and his soul-searching gaze.
“Do what you want. We both know you will, anyway.”
“It’s too hard to stay away from you, Cassandra. It’s killing me.” He released my face, finding something in my eyes.
I looked away and took a breath, trying to stay strong. He always got to me. I couldn’t hear anymore that night. I couldn’t endure the agony in his voice.
“Good night, Logan. Let’s go, Luke.”
“Make sure she gets inside safely,” Logan demanded.
“Of course. I’ll take care of her.”
Luke’s words didn’t appear to sit well with Logan. I caught his grip tightening on the windowpane of my door, and I turned to catch his hard stare at Luke. His jaw ticked, but my voice broke through and lightened the intensity.
“I’ll be fine. You might as well stay and help Hilary.” My own words fell out so evenly and calmly. I relaxed into them.
He stared at me in a long silence, then straightened himself and walked back to his car without another word.
“Take me home, Luke,” I said, resting back in the seat.
We drove in silence for only a few minutes before Luke asked, “So, you’re not dating him, correct?”
“No,” I said with a sigh. I didn’t want to think about Logan or the darkness plaguing his deep-blue eyes tonight.
“Maybe you should clarify that with him. Or at least shoot him a text to get the hell off my bumper.”
I whipped my head back and there, a few feet behind the vehicle, was Logan’s car, following us. I rolled my eyes and turned back around.
“Ignore him.”
“Easier said than done. This truck’s my baby. One scratch...”
I shook my head, laughing at the ridiculousness of that statement.
“Logan’s a safe driver,” I said, staring blankly out the window.
As we pulled up my driveway, Luke switched off the ignition, and the headlights of Logan’s car pulled up on Luke’s side.
“Thanks for the ride.” I opened the truck door and looked back, catching Logan standing beside his car door, waiting—for what, I had no idea.
“You want me to walk you in and make sure he doesn’t bother you?” Luke asked, his eyes on Logan’s intimidating stance.
“No, go home and get some sleep. I owe you enough for making you drive all the way out here.”
“It’s not a problem, but between you and me, the guy has some serious boundary issues.”
“You have no idea,” I said with a small chuckle, and leaned across the seat to give him a warm hug and kiss on the cheek. “Thanks again, and good night.”
As I climbed out, I noticed Logan’s hard gaze was still fixed on Luke, who was now backing out of the driveway. With an irritated eye roll, I headed to the front door and pulled out my key.
“Cassandra—”
“Go home, Logan.”
“I just wanted to make sure you got home safely.”
I could feel him standing close behind me. Goose bumps flared over my neck and down my arms. Sweat beaded under my thick coat as my body reacted to his nearness, calling out for him to take what he wanted and put me out of my misery.
It was only a matter of time; we both knew it. The only thing I held out hope for was that when he was through with me, I’d someday find a man to put me back together.
The key turned in the lock and I opened the door, never once looking back until I stepped inside, doorknob in hand.
“Luke did a good job getting me home, so you can go,” I said, and it wasn’t a lie.
“I just wanted to make sure—”
“That I didn’t screw him?”
Logan’s head tilted slightly, his jaw set. “He wouldn’t be that stupid,” he said through gritted teeth.
With a sigh, I rolled my eyes. “Good night, Logan.”
Logan lifted my chin, staring into my tired eyes. “This is killing me, Cassandra. I want you so badly, and to watch you push me further and further away…” He closed his eyes and shook his head once. “It’s too much. I’m losing it.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Tell me you can forgive me…that you still want this.” Logan dipped his head down, finger still under my chin, lifting my face as he crushed his lips down over mine.
The kiss was needy; Logan’s hands slid over my cheeks and into my hair. His tongue ran over my lips and darted its way inside. I couldn’t control myself; my body longed to be his, my thoughts cut off by the taste of his warm, minty breath.
My hands sneaked up and wrapped around his neck, drawing him closer. Every nerve ending in my body sputtered and roared when he pulled back just enough to see my face and gauge my conflicted expression.
“Stop,” I breathed.
“No!”
“I can’t, all right? I just…can’t. I won’t be another conquest. Another girl for you to pursue like the one you met on the airplane.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? What girl? I haven’t even looked at another woman!”
“Julia told me,” I confessed, holding his steely gaze in mine. “About the woman you met a couple years ago and flew back and forth to see, doing to her what you’re trying to do to me.”
“My sister had no right to tell you anything. If you want to know about my past, then ask!” he all but roared, anger evident in his tight expression. “And as for this woman she told you about, my sister has spun that into something very different than it was. Have I ever met a woman on a plane before? Yes, I have—more than one. Not that I feel it’s relevant, but if you feel the need to hear about my past, then I’ll tell you. None of those women ever got more than a one-time trip to the airport hotel.”
He was watching me as I stood there, hanging on every word.
“However, due to geographical issues and a bored mind, I found myself flying out to see one woman in particular who refused my advances. My attention was caught, which was w
hat she’d set out to do. She started a game, trying to seduce me, and pulled back every time before I was satisfied.
“Did I want to date her, start a relationship? No! I wanted to fuck her, and made that perfectly clear. She was the one who thought she could persuade me otherwise—play me using sex so she could marry a man who would help boost her placement in society. There were no feelings involved—we played a game—and when I had my fill, I left. She knew exactly what it was. I never led her on, which was why she went snooping into my life and tried to meet my son.”
I didn’t know what to say. Of course he had a past—I knew that—but the fact that he’d been infatuated with someone before, even if he’d treated her differently, only fed my insecurities further.
“Don’t keep pushing me away. You’re not like her; you’re not like any of them. I feel this. I do. You’re a part of me that I can’t escape. I don’t ever want to. I’ll tell you whatever you need to hear, do whatever I have to. But you have to stop pushing me away,” he pleaded, reaching out to grab my hands, but I stepped back farther into the house.
“You should go. I’m sorry, but you need to let me go. Don’t keep doing this to me, to you. It’s time to move on,” I said, beginning to close the door.
He stood there, eyes dark and hard and jaw clenched until the door latched shut.
The moment I turned the lock, my back slumped against the closed door. The pain in my chest was gut-wrenching and tears pooled in my eyes, but the thought of giving in was more terrifying.
A loud spin of tires pulled me from my thoughts and I peeked out the front curtains to catch Logan peeling out of my driveway. But instead of pulling into his, he flew down the road, heading toward town.
Chapter Eight
Poker Face
The next morning, I sat up, having spent too much of the night staring at the bronze ceiling light, my mind devoid of everything but him—the taste of his lips, feel of his hands. I wasted hours trying to decipher the oddity of my emotions and undeniable sensations in my body when he was near. The combination of his thick voice and deep, thoughtful eyes did something to me I couldn’t comprehend. Worse was the knowledge that he left angry, heading someplace unknown to do God knew what.