Heads… something about heads… Dinah couldn’t remember. There was only the unclear memory of smoke and light, and a burning deep in her lungs.
“Do you feel well enough to sit up now?”
“Yes.” Dinah hated depending on him for anything, but she let him help her up and hold her hand as she gently made her way to a small wooden table. Soup steamed in a small mug and, somehow, there was a pile of warm sweets waiting for her. She looked up at Cheshire with amazement. “How does one make warm pies in the wilderness?”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “There is nothing I can’t get for you.” Cheshire raised a spoon to her lips.
“I can do it myself, thank you.” Dinah clutched the spoon with determination and shakily brought it to her dry lips. “How did you get the—was it poison?—out?”
Cheshire leaned back on his chair and folded his long hands under his chin. “Wild lavender rice tea. Rice attracts moisture, and the smoke, when inhaled, became a form of liquid hallucination. It’s quite fascinating. I visited the witch doctor myself after I saw you, and he explained its full effects. My dagger at his throat helped a bit, I think. After that, the Yurkei wouldn’t let anyone come near his tent.” He paused. “I hate to be the one to tell you, but this incident only served to fan the flames of anger between the Spades and the Yurkei.”
“We’re on the same side for gods’ sake,” snapped Dinah. “Either way, many of these men will die, all for me.”
His smile faded. “That’s where you are mistaken. These men do not fight and die for you. No man fights or dies for a leader. He dies for an ideal. That ideal is embodied in your person. The Spades will die fighting for their rights, for the rights of the men that they stand beside. They fight for the right to bear children, for a chance to live forever through their heirs. The Yurkei fight to reclaim the land of their forefathers.” Distracted by a sweet on the little table, Cheshire summed it up, “Don’t delude yourself, these men fight for themselves.”
Cheshire selected a slice of plum pie and took a small bite. Dinah had never noticed how small and sharp his teeth were. His bites were half the size of hers. “Fathers and sons, my dear. That is what these men fight for, even if they believe they are fighting for you. Part of becoming a leader is learning how to manipulate that belief. It’s the way power works. Your face and dress and crown represent these things for them, but it wouldn’t matter if it was you, or another. Your task now is to become a queen for whom they’d be willing to die.”
Dinah stared at the ground. She had behaved so foolishly by going to Iu-Hora’s tent, and yet, she was furious at him for pointing out the truth. “Ironic how you can speak of sacrifice with such ease when you only looked after your own interests while the King beat my mother and treated me with contempt.”
Cheshire flashed a pitying grin at her. “Poor girl. Is that what you believe? I simply see it as keeping your best interest at heart. I would have loved nothing more than to steal you and your mother away in the dead of night and start over in a new place, a new town, away from the King, where I could love you both proudly. And yet, by doing that, I would deny you the crown, a chance to become the most esteemed person in Wonderland. Instead, I suffered in silence, watching the love of my life be touched by a man who disgusted me, and watching my daughter be raised by a man who hated her.”
Cheshire slowly folded his napkin, taking care with each corner. When he was done, a tiny paper mouse remained. He set it inside of her empty tea cup before standing to leave. He calmly tucked in his purple tunic before suddenly leaning over her menacingly. His sweet breath swept over her face. “Do not presume to know me, daughter. I have sacrificed everything to get you where you are. And instead of being grateful for my sacrifice, and the sacrifice of all of the men here, you repay us by wandering right into the arms of a mad witch doctor so that we might have watched you die slowly. You are not a child anymore. You are a queen, so behave like one!”
He stood up and took a deep breath, adjusting his brooch as he transformed himself back into the smooth, unruffled Cheshire. “Make sure that you don’t do anything strenuous today. No sparring. No fighting. Wardley or Sir Gorrann is to be with you at all times. I don’t trust your Yurkei guards anymore.”
Dinah watched in simmering silence as Cheshire whisked himself out of the tent. Her appetite had disappeared. He was right. It was time to quit playing these risky games to satisfy her childish curiosity. She was no longer a girl sneaking into the Black Towers with Wardley. Her kingdom was at war, and she was too indulgent of her own whims. The consequences of her actions would be real and severe. For gods’ sake, she had almost started a war here in their camp.
A true leader would create allies out of enemies, but her actions had only served to create division. I will remember that, she thought. I will remember that what the queen does matters. I will listen to Cheshire’s wisdom, no matter how strange he makes me feel. Deep in thought, she munched quietly on a blueberry tart. As she went to take another bite, she looked down in shock at the tips of her fingernails. They were a deep orange, stained with the poison that was slowly seeping out of her body, a real reminder of how close she had come to ruining the lives of thousands. She didn’t believe that Iu-Hora, the witch doctor, had intended to kill her, and yet, he was dangerous just the same. Alone in the tent, Dinah closed her eyes and vowed that she would no longer make impulsive decisions on whatever whim came over her at the time. The cause and the crown came first. I will be the queen they deserve. She would work harder to remember that these were her people here, both the Spades and the Yurkei. It was her job to lead and protect them. Her foolishness prior to war was inexcusable.
She guzzled cool water from a nearby bucket and lay down for a few more hours before she felt ready to stand and walk. When she finally left the tent, bright sunlight blazed down on her through the mist of the Darklands. Wardley was waiting for her, his long legs folded beneath him as he balanced his sword on one finger. “You’re up!” His long arms wrapped around her shoulders, and Dinah gladly let him pull her against his body. “Come here, you idiot! I was so worried. Why did you go to Iu-Hora? Haven’t you heard the rumors about him? They say he grinds up the bones of his people to fertilize their mushroom fields. What were you thinking??”
“I don’t know. It was foolish and it won’t happen again,” replied Dinah calmly. “And no, I hadn’t heard that.” She pressed her face against his shoulder. “Though I do not doubt it.”
“What happened in there? What did you see?”
“I can’t remember.”
Wardley made a doubtful face.
Dinah sighed. “It’s hard to explain—it’s like someone has pulled a black cloth over that memory. I know he told me something important, but I cannot remember what it was, only traces of words.” Cat. Heart. Grass. “It’s there, I just can’t reach it.”
Wardley stepped back and took stock of her body. “How well do you feel? Are you sure you shouldn’t be lying down?”
Dinah shook her head. “No. I’ve been sleeping most of the day. I don’t deserve any more rest, especially when my men are so busy.” All around the camp was a flurry of activity. Horses were being fitted for breast plates. Swords were being sharpened, and the sound of metal on metal was deafening. During the day the camp was usually filled with the raised voices of men, but today there were no voices to be heard, only the sound of work and progress. All of these sounds fell under an eerie quiet that permeated the air.
“Why is no one speaking?” Dinah saw several Spades cast fascinated looks in her direction and then drop their eyes when she looked back. “What’s going on?”
Wardley gave her a quizzical look before pushing her hair aside to whisper in her ear. Dinah’s heart beat rapidly as his breath brushed her cheek. “Tomorrow we begin our march north, Dinah. The war is upon us.”
Dinah quickly counted the days on her fingers. Missing an entire day had left her confused. He was right—they would march out the following day, headed
for Wonderland Palace. How had it arrived so suddenly? The Spades continued to stare at her.
“Move along!” Wardley snapped, and they begrudgingly obeyed.
“Why were they staring at me like that?”
“Probably because you are the only woman in this camp.” He fidgeted awkwardly.
“Tell me the truth,” snapped Dinah. She had known Wardley long enough that it was painfully obvious when he was lying.
He sighed. “Cheshire has been telling everyone how you survived the encounter with the Yurkei witch doctor, how in return he gave you a vision of our victory.”
Dinah looked at Wardley and gasped. “THAT is a lie!”
He clamped his hand over her mouth. “Shh. It doesn’t matter. It gives the men hope, letting them believe that you have some special knowledge of a victorious battle. Who knows, it might even be true. The men will have less fear when they go into battle if they believe fate is on their side.”
Dinah grabbed Wardley’s arm. “That is a false hope. There was no word of our victory. Although….”
Cat. Heart. Grass.
“There might have been,” Dinah admitted. “I can’t remember. Still, I want the men to believe in themselves, not some false prophecy. They need to have faith that we can win.”
“And why exactly will we win?” asked Wardley.
“Because we are on the right side,” answered Dinah, unconvinced. “Because we have to. Because it is right.” Dinah looked out over the camp. She knew the odds. Her men were outnumbered and perhaps outmatched. The Yurkei and the Spades would fight with a certain fervor, but did fervor and righteousness matter when the numbers were not in their favor? Dinah felt a fresh stab of fear. “Do you believe we can win? As the once future Knave of Hearts, do you think we will win?”
Wardley glanced down at Dinah, his face a book of weariness as a lock of curly brown hair fell over his eyes. Dinah felt her heartbeat quicken. “Take a walk with me, Dinah. There’s something I want to show you.”
Chapter Eighteen
Morte dutifully followed Corning, Wardley’s obedient white steed, out of the camp and into the wilds of the Darklands. They walked in silence for about an hour, through hot swamps and over a field of strange rubbery plants that produced in Dinah an uneasy feeling of being watched. The plants seemed to be alive—unfurling themselves toward Morte’s hooves as they passed before recoiling, rejected and hungry. As the valleys seemed to grow wetter and wetter, Wardley turned them slightly east, and the horses began a laborious climb up slick grassy hills, their hooves slipping on the slimy moisture that permeated the ground. Before long, the rolling peaks ended at a tangled bramble patch that defended itself from invaders with wicked-looking black thorns, each the size of a hand. They dismounted their steeds. Wardley staked Corning and Dinah laughed at the idea that she would try that with Morte. The best she could hope for is that he would be here when she came back. Wardley slashed at the bramble in front of her as they pushed through its sharp tangle. The bramble grew thicker; the light dimmer. Dinah thought she heard water. Dinah pricked her hand on one of the thorns and watched her blood pool in her palm.
“Wardley….”
“We’re almost there. It’s just around here.” Wardley stepped to the left and disappeared behind a wall of thorns. Her hands out in front of her, Dinah pressed on. She followed Wardley’s footprints until they led her out to a small, magical clearing. Behind them was a silent blue pool of water, so still and clear that the light reflecting from it cast turquoise waves across Wardley’s handsome face. At the center of the pool, unattached to any rock or other structure, a waterfall flowed UP from the middle of the perfectly still pool, its stream turning into mist once it hit a certain height. The mist then spiraled and disappeared into the sky. They stood in silence for a few minutes before Wardley spoke softly as Dinah stared in fascination.
“Incredible, isn’t it?” Wardley pulled off his boots and soaked his feet in the shallow pool. “I’ve never felt water this clean. It’s the perfect temperature—not too hot, not too cold. I found this while you were sleeping off the hallucinations. Cheshire was watching you, and I couldn’t just sit there wondering if you would ever wake up, so I wandered. Found this place.” He shook his head. “I prayed that I could take you here one day; that you would wake up. Dinah, think about it—where does the water come from? There is no visible spring under the surface and yet—the water keeps rising. It’s a miracle.”
A smile crept over his face, so lovely that it hurt her heart. “Wonderland is a pretty wondrous place, wouldn’t you say? I had no idea that so much lay outside the palace walls. It makes me want to climb on Corning and just disappear. I understand why those rogue Cards fled the palace. There is so much raw beauty out here in the wild.”
His eyes followed Dinah as she pushed herself into the pool and wandered toward the middle until she stood right before the waterfall. She reached out her hand. Streams of warm water flowed upward through her fingers, as if Dinah herself was the source of this wonder. The water seemed to have a mind of its own between her fingertips, and tiny droplets crawled from the bottom of her wrist to her fingers before lifting off into the sky. She walked back to the edge of the water and climbed out, the hem of her tunic soaked. Smiling, she sat beside Wardley and dipped her wiggling toes into the pool. She glanced over at him, lounging easily beside her on the bank. This was how it always was: Dinah and Wardley. Together. She poked him.
“Remember that summer you stole the tarts from the kitchen, when Harris chased us down the hallway screaming? I’ve never laughed so hard. You had flour all over your face, and yet when he saw you, the first thing you did was scream ‘I didn’t do it!’” She laughed at the memory—Wardley, a lanky young boy, his face covered with jam and powder, stuffing as many tarts as he could into his pockets. The sun had filtered through the red heart windows as his thin body tore through the castle, Heart Cards and Harris bellowing behind him, and Dinah too, always a few steps behind, watching him with adoration. Together they hid in the courtyard behind her mother’s white rose bushes that snaked over the walls, stuffing their faces with the tarts and giggling uncontrollably.
“It wasn’t like you were starving. You just wanted to steal something.”
“I did. I was a good kid, but at that moment, stealing tarts seemed dangerous, like a crime punishable in the Black Towers.” He grinned. “It was infinitely exciting.”
Dinah shuddered at the memory of the towers and looked down at the pool. “When I’m Queen, I will tear them down, until nothing but the roots remain.”
“You have always been fond of making grand queenly statements.” Wardley smiled as he tucked her black braid behind her ear before a profound sadness pierced his gaze. “It will never be good like this again, will it? War is coming, and somehow you and I are right in the thick of it.”
Dinah nodded and stared at the waterfall, completely aware of Wardley’s hand resting mere inches away from hers on the bank. She watched a tiny pink fish swim up the waterfall, its tiny fins flapping in the upward-flowing stream. Suddenly realizing what was happening, the fish reversed course and struggled to swim against the current. It was no use. The fish was sucked up into the sky with the water that turned into a pinkish mist. Seconds later, we heard a plop and saw the little fish swim away. Wardley continued on, unfazed.
“You know what I keep thinking about? How I hope that my parents have the good sense to stay out of the fight. My mother will stay huddled inside with the rest of the court, holed up in the Great Hall, but my father might just decide to be a hero and don his Card armor for one last battle.”
Dinah gave his hand a squeeze. “He won’t. He’ll know it’s you coming.”
Wardley swallowed. “Yes, but… what if he doesn’t? What if he puts on a helmet and I don’t recognize him in the battlefield? What if I…?” His words faded on his tongue. A few moments passed as they both remained silent. “What are you afraid of?” he whispered.
Dinah swallow
ed before lowering her voice to a murmur. “Everything. I’m afraid that the men will see that I am just a girl who was rejected by the King. I’m afraid I’ll die silently and quietly, like the flame blown from a match, and I’ll be nothing more than a child who played at war. I’m afraid of losing you, or Sir Gorrann, or even Cheshire. I’m afraid of letting down the Yurkei people.” Dinah lifted her foot and watched droplets of water roll off her muscular calf. “Mostly I’m afraid that I’ll die, and it won’t matter if I have a crown on my head or not. I’ll die the same as other men, with a bloody sword through my chest, one final breath lost in the madness.”
A sword. What had the Caterpillar said to her? “You will pierce the heart of one man and…”
Her memory was there, but then it was gone again, the way a butterfly would land on her hand but leave the moment she glanced at it. “I’m even afraid of what happens if we are victorious. I’ll be Queen. Can I rule? Will I be a good ruler, or a terrible one, like my…?” She stopped. “Like the King of Hearts. If that even happens. If we can get through the gates.”
Wardley absently clasped her hand in his, their palms slick with comingled sweat.
“Do you believe we can win, Wardley?”
He stared out at the small pond. His face was ruddy and flushed from the walk, and for a moment he reminded Dinah of the boy with the stolen tarts. But then she saw the stubble creeping up his cheeks and the way his sculpted muscles tensed under his shirt. He had become a man since she had seen him last. He sighed and rubbed his face with his other hand.
“We can win, but it’s not in our favor as it stands right now. The King has us outnumbered almost two to one and that means the odds are against us. The iron walls are perfectly round, which means that to surround them, we will be stretched thin in all places. We have the Spades, which will help, for they are ruthless in battle, but he has the Heart Cards, who are the most-skilled fighters in Wonderland. He has Xavier Juflee.” He gave a laugh. “We have an exiled princess, the King’s horse, an army of wild natives, and the Spades. And even if we win, once we are inside the gates, the people of Wonderland Palace will not welcome us with open arms. They loathe you, do you realize that? The people fear you, Dinah, and for good reason. You are bringing death and war upon this city, a city that has never seen a battle. Almost every man in the kingdom is a Card, and the King will deploy all of them to his defense.”