“When I leave, go to the house and lock the doors and windows. We’re leavin’ some men here but I need to know you’ll be in that house till we return. Rayna and Flo will be with you too.”

  “Okay,” I say, agreeing so he’ll let me get back to work.

  I won’t leave the house but this conversation is never going to go the way I want and it dawns on me, I have to get right with this way of life, and fast.

  John is more than capable of looking out for himself but Benny didn’t strike me as a man who couldn’t handle himself either and look at him, he’s dead.

  He doesn’t stop me when I pull away and I keep myself busy keeping the bar in order while the rest of the bar fills with men and guns.

  The sound of guns of being locked and loaded scratches against my ears like nails on a chalkboard. I try to block them out but it gets too much. Throwing the towel in the bucket, I slip from behind the bar while John has his back turned talking to Michael and Micky and I head for the house. A creepy silence hangs outside around the clubhouse and visions of Benny’s blood comes back to me, only this time when I’m trying to stop it, it belongs to John.

  “This is my life, Shell, decide if you want me as much as I want a life with you. This shit might happen again and I can bet my life I’ll go and defend this club again. I don’t need a lot from you, but you have to accept this might happen.”

  His voice pierces the night and surrounds me. I stop walking and turn to face him. The distance between us feels like miles, physically and emotionally. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to leave without him noticing.

  “I know I do, and because I want to be with you I will accept it in time, I just don’t think I’ll ever like it.”

  A sly grin tugs at the corner of his mouth and he takes slow steps towards me.

  “You not likin’ it means you care. The day you don’t is the day I’ll know you won’t care if I make it home or not.”

  He takes the last step and the distance that felt so wide a few seconds ago is gone. He strokes my cheek and winds his hand around the back of my neck.

  Leaning down, his mouth meets mine and like every time he kisses me, I forget everything going on around us.

  “We’re leavin’ soon, you should go inside and please, don’t worry about me. I’ll be back before the sun rises.”

  If only he didn’t stop kissing me, I could keep him forever.

  “Be careful,” I whisper, turning for the house.

  He might have heard me, he might not, he doesn’t say another word as I open the door and close it behind me.

  Chapter Eight

  Oak

  “Is your heart beating as fast as mine?” Micky asks, quietly.

  Mark and Michael are parked upfront on their own and Micky and I are in a van we fixed up last week, with ten other brothers parked behind them. Big Ron and Tommy are with twelve brothers in another van parked up the street from them.

  The plan is too wait for Mark’s command and rush them on their own territory. Straight in, shooting every Raging fucker we see.

  “If yours is beatin’ like crazy, then yeah.”

  Pushing Shellie out of my mind, I focus on what needs to be done. She’s home and she’ll be there in the morning when I return and I will return. I promised I would and I intend on keeping my word to her.

  You can hear their music and deep voices shouting to one another. We’re so close to them now and they have no idea we’re here. My blood rushes around my body and sitting still is making me dizzy.

  “Mark’s getting out of the truck,” a prospect calls back.

  It’s our signal.

  “Time to fuck shit up,” Micky growls, adding to the prospect, “Keep the lights off and the engine running.”

  Slowly, he opens the van doors and we filter out into the shadows, keeping out of sight.

  Up the street, Big Ron and the others do the same and we split into two, our van creeps along the wall lining their clubhouse and Big Ron and their van load come from the other side.

  Everyone is ready to go.

  Mark and Michael faces us from the other side and Mark mouths, one…two…three.

  Springing into action, they’re all distracted partying and having a good time when we make our move.

  No one from their club moves for a long few seconds, all stunned frozen with the turn of events.

  I count six of them dead before any of them reach for their guns and then it turns into a blood bath.

  Shots are being fired everywhere and the adrenaline takes over. Lost Souls are holding their own and the only bodies I see hitting the ground don’t wear our patch.

  I’ve never thought about having to kill a man before and maybe I should be more concerned with the fact I’ve shot down two Raging fuckers, but I’m not. When we began the club and Hunter made it clear we weren’t welcome, deep down I began preparing for moments like this.

  “Boss! Behind you!”

  I spin round until I see what Big Ron sees and Mark is slumping to the ground after being hit across the back with a steel pipe. The Raging Rider raises the pipe over his head, ready to bring down over Mark again and I raise my gun. Aiming for his head, I inhale deeply and calm myself enough to squeeze the trigger and hit my target. Before the pipe can connect with Mark, his attacker lands on him, bleeding out everywhere.

  Running over to him, I pull the guy off him and hold my hand out to help him to his feet. He accepts and when he’s up, he winces when he circles his shoulder down into his back where he was hit.

  Moving behind him, I keep my eyes everywhere until he is back on form.

  “Where’s Hunter?” Michael calls over.

  I haven’t seen him and judging by the look on Mark’s face, he hasn’t either.

  “He’s not here,” someone shouts, but none of us see who.

  The doors to their clubhouse slam shut and everywhere we look Lost Souls are breathing and Raging Riders are the ones dead on the floor this time.

  “We’ve made our point, let’s get out of here,” Mark calls out, and in turn, Lost Souls begin to make their way back to the vans. Michael and Tommy are the last ones to follow us and Michael quickly catches up with his brother, and Tommy splits off with Big Ron.

  Piling into the back of the van we came in, the prospect hits the gas to the floor and Micky barely makes it in before we are driving away.

  “Oh man, what a fucking rush,” he hollers.

  Blowing out a long breath, I can’t remember if I breathed through the last ten minutes. I mean, I must’ve done, fucking hell, we survived.

  ****

  Celebrating is on everyone’s minds apart from Marks. He disappeared into the main house as soon as he put a few guys on the gates to keep watch, in case we’re hit tonight in retaliation.

  The music gets cranked up and the drinks begin to flow but all I can think about is the woman sleeping in my bed. Nabbing two glasses and a bottle of tequila from behind the bar, I slip out of the clubhouse and jog across to the house.

  Three empty bottles of wine are on the table in the lounge downstairs and I guess that’s how my girl got to sleep last night, judging from her still form tucked up on my side of the bed.

  Kicking my boots off, I put the glasses and tequila on the bedside table and quickly strip down to my boxers. Climbing in under the blankets on her side of the bed, I pull her into my arms and kiss her shoulder where her skin is exposed.

  “I heard you all come back,” she murmurs, clearly awake the whole time.

  “I thought you were asleep.”

  “I thought you’d know that would never happen until I knew you were home,” she retorts.

  “Well I’m home now, everyone is.”

  “For now, they will fight back and this will never end.”

  “I don’t want to argue with you now, we had a good result and I’m tired. Yes, my life is gonna be dangerous at times but I will do everything I can to make sure it doesn’t reach you.”

  “I don’
t want to argue either but I’m more worried about you.”

  “Then let’s not argue, I went and I came home. You stayed in the house like I asked you too and we took revenge for Benny. Tonight ran smoothly and as I hold you in my arms right this minute, there is nowhere else I’d rather be. So turn around and fuckin’ kiss me.”

  No doubt the Raging Riders will attack us again and we’ll live to see another day and retaliate again, bigger and deadlier than they. Life around the clubhouse will continue, we’ll carry on working in the outbuildings, the bar will be restocked every few days and more men will join us over time. Life will continue the way it was always meant to be, with my brothers and Shellie, life is more than good, my life isn’t as lost no more.

  Part Two

  When you don’t give a shit if you are alive or not

  Chapter Nine

  Cas – The Present

  The pain is turning into a throb and each throb pounds heavily in the fore front of my head. I try again to think of who I haven’t seen today and I come up with nothing. Being stuck in the office waiting for phone calls from Denzel has made me blind. Turning towards the bar, I lay the cut on the counter and run my hand through my hair and squeeze the back of my neck, when a warm hand joins mine and I find Alannah behind me. Her presence always manages to soothe me, but not today. Before I really saw her for the beauty she is and when I was a single man, the thought of giving myself to marriage and starting a family was something fools did. I was happy enough to fuck my way through the pussy in the club and wherever else I found it. I had seen her around the club for years before I really saw her for the first time, a need took root inside of me and I knew she wasn’t going to be another lay I would pick up and cast aside when I was done. She told me she’d be by my side and I believed her, she hasn’t let me down yet, but a nagging feeling is doubting my ability not to let her down. I don’t know where it’s coming from but it’s there.

  “What is it, babe? Something isn’t right with you,” she murmurs softly, her eyes begging me to talk to her.

  “Linc is dead and so is half his club, the other half haven’t returned a single phone call since the funerals, we’re sitting on an arsenal of weapons that could land us all in jail for a very long time and now we have one of our own missing, how do you expect me to be?”

  I regret snapping at her as soon as the last word is out of my mouth. Everything is crashing down around me and nothing feels real. She steps back from me and my guilt intensifies.

  “Babe…”

  I go to reach out to her but she pulls back physically and emotionally. She’s always told me she won’t put up with me taking the club’s shit out on her and that’s exactly what I’ve just done.

  “Don’t treat me like that, I know what’s going on around here and that wasn’t what I was asking. Something’s different with you, talk to me.”

  “I’m fine,” I lie, she doesn’t need anything to worry about. I’m her husband, I’ll deal with any shit so she doesn’t have to.

  Narrowing her eyes, she doesn’t believe a word spewing from my mouth and changes the conversation.

  “I take it you’re not coming home again tonight, give me a call when you’re not so busy,” she snaps.

  She turns away and calls for Bonnie to pass Leo back to her and grabs her purse from the table.

  Alannah is strong and knows exactly what she will and won’t put up with from anyone, but she also shows every emotion she feels clear as day on her face. So when Bonnie brings Leo over she can tell her best friend isn’t happy.

  My headache dulls everything going on around me and I focus on my woman and my son. He’s growing fast and strong. With my dark hair, he has his mother’s wide, green eyes and they peek out over her shoulder at me. It takes a minute before I realize she is getting ready to leave and I catch her up just before she gets to the door leading outside.

  “You’re not going anywhere, babe, you’re both to stay here until I know what the fuck is going on.”

  She doesn’t make eye contact with me but she does relent and stops trying to leave.

  “Just stay away from me until you’ve figured out your shit.”

  Leaving me with my growing headache and now another load of bullshit to deal with, I can’t wait for this all to be over. It feels like it’s only the beginning and I’ve already had enough.

  I watch Alannah carry Leo over to where the girls are sitting in the corner and sigh when the whole lot of them turn to scowl at me. Like I give a shit what they think about me, only Alannah can get to me and she has. I hate it when shit gets between us but for tonight I have more important things to fix before I can sort it out with her. I have a brother to track down.

  I know they’re safe here and it makes it easier to walk off and find Sparky and Slade. They’re both in my office and while Slade clicks away on his laptop rattling numbers off, Sparky makes the calls one after the other.

  “Any luck?” I ask, slumping onto the couch and shielding my eyes from the bright light dangling from the ceiling.

  “The only one who ain’t here and isn’t answering his phone is Oak,” Slade answers while Sparks makes another call.

  “Oak? When the last time you saw you him?”

  “Last night, Sparky reckons the same.”

  “And you’ve managed to get hold of everyone else?”

  “Almost.” He nods and looks back to the screen.

  “The last call he made was from here at ten-thirty-one last night and he hasn’t made any transactions since his dinner at Hanks yesterday.”

  At least we’re getting somewhere now.

  “Take Pope, and you and Sparky go check his house out.”

  He doesn’t stay there a lot, but it’s worth checking out.

  “Pope’s gone out of town with Sally, remember?” Slade frowns.

  Shit, so much has happened today, I forgot my brother left this morning.

  “Okay, us three will go and see if we can find anything,” I say, pulling myself up from the couch. Hopefully the fresh air will clear my head.

  I can’t think of a single reason for Oak not to be in contact with anyone here, damn, I can’t think of a single reason why he isn’t sitting up the bar like he has done for years.

  Sparky and Slade follow me out into the bar and prepare to leave.

  “Has anyone seen Oak since last night?” I yell.

  Heads shake and no one claims to have seen him, making the unease of Oak being the missing brother more likely.

  Alannah catches my eye and the fear of Oak being taken has her holding onto our boy for dear life.

  Between Oak and Pope, they are the only ones left from her early childhood and over my dead body will I let anything happen for her to lose another piece of her family.

  “Slade, Sparks, let’s ride,” I call out, heading for the door.

  They fall in behind me and we make it just outside the door when I count fourteen bikes cruising through the gate. Brothers gather around and filter out from the bar all on alert to the new comers.

  No patches are visible and until they take off their helmets and the few that are wearing bandanas, they could be anyone and more importantly, they could be a threat.

  Lost Souls form a human barrier half way across the lot and one by one the new comers climb off their bikes.

  Their helmets come off and we all stand down, they all start unzipping their hoodies and walk closer to us.

  “Noah?” I ask.

  Noah is a Devil’s Bastard brother and has been since before I joined the Lost Souls. The grave look on his face doesn’t look my night is going to get any better. I remember when I first met him nearly fifteen years ago, he looked a lot younger than he does now. Time has not been his friend, his eyes are surrounded by deep cracks and the grey that used to pepper his hair, is much more prominent.

  His men stay close to him and I only recognise a few of them.

  “Our trip here doesn’t come with good news I’m afraid, Cas,” he says, e
mbracing me with a hard, rapid hand shake.

  “I didn’t think it did,” I sigh, “Where are your cuts?” I ask, taking in every man he came with and see none of them are wearing their patches.

  “We should talk.”

  “We were just heading out on business, what do you need to talk about?”

  “We’re here about Oak, shit is raining sideways and we wanted to make sure you knew we are not a part of it,” he swears.

  Now he has my full attention. Sparky and Slade move closer and eye the men standing on our property.

  “Follow me,” I say, heading back into the bar.

  Lost Souls quieten once more and make room for our guests. Scanning the area, I search for Ricky and find him nuzzling into Kyla’s neck.

  “Ricky,” I yell, “Get to Oak’s and check his place out. Take a couple of prospects with you.”

  He reluctantly pulls himself away from her and grabs the prospects from behind the bar. It still shocks me Pope didn’t slit his throat for touching his daughter.

  “Okay, Noah, tell us what you know,” I begin when Ricky has left and I’m content that at least Oak’s place is still going to be checked over.

  “First, we’re not wearing our patches because we don’t belong to the Devil’s Bastards any longer. The past week has been hell as you saw for yourselves yesterday, we lost Linc and half the club, then this morning Danny took the gavel without a proper vote and made himself king of the castle.”

  “Danny?” I interject.

  The name doesn’t ring a bell.

  “He was patched in a few years ago, you should remember him. You put him on his ass at the meet we had after you became president, he accused you of being soft and you showed him he was wrong.”

  Now I remember, “Newbie?” I hedge.

  “Yeah, well, he has never forgotten the humiliation you brought him and now he has the king patch on, he’s making all sorts of changes.”

  “Get to the information on Oak,” Sparky spits, thinking the same as I.

  “I am,” he frowns, “He’s coming for you and wants the DB’s to be the main club, he’s never been happy with the percentage we got for our part in the runs and now he’s in charge he plans on taking it all. In the last week alone he’s recruited twenty-six men behind our backs and they already follow him like fucking blind pigs. They picked Oak up last night on his way home, I’m sorry, Cas, I didn’t know it was going down until it was too late.”