I’d never hated Merrick the way I hated some of the others, even though he’d taken me into custody a couple of times. He’d never treated me with the contempt they had. He’d never sneered at me when he arrested me. But I could see he still saw me as an object, someone not worthy of respect. He never understood that when I sold my body to sailors it was for a purpose. But whatever I did then is irrelevant now. I am different now, I am a changed person. What happened back in Seaford feels as irrelevant and remote as something I’d seen at the cinema.
In a strange way, being in the presence of the very officers who are trying to track me down was quite exciting. I got a real buzz out of being only feet away from my hunters, who didn’t sense their prey. They didn’t even have enough sixth sense to realize there was something extraordinary happening, not even Carol Jordan. So much for women’s intuition. I see it as a sort of test, a measure of my ability to delude my pursuers. The notion that they can catch me is so absurd, it’s unthinkable.
I felt so strong after that encounter that the next day’s paper hit me like a blow with a sandbag. I was walking through the main computer room when I saw an early edition of the Sentinel Times lying on some junior engineer’s desk. FIFTH BODY IN QUEER KILLER’S RAMPAGE screamed out at me.
I wanted to rage and shout, to throw things through windows. How dare they? My handiwork is so individual, how could they mistake some blundering copycat’s body for one of mine?
I was trembling with suppressed fury when I made it back to my own office. I’d wanted to ask the engineer if I could have a look at his paper, but I didn’t trust myself to speak. I wanted to rush out of the office to the nearest newsagent’s and snatch a copy off the counter. But that would have been unforgivable weakness. The secret of success, I told myself, was to behave normally. To do nothing that would make my colleagues think there was something peculiar going on in my life.
‘Patience,’ I told myself, ‘is the cardinal virtue.’ So I sat at my desk, fiddling with the intricacies of a piece of software that needed rewriting. But my heart wasn’t in it, and I know I wasn’t justifying my salary that afternoon. By four o’clock, I could stand it no longer. I grabbed my phone and dialled the special number that broadcasts Bradfield Sound to callers.
The story was the lead item on the news bulletin, as it ought to have been. ‘The body of a man found in the Temple Fields area in the early hours of the morning is not the fifth victim of the serial killer who has brought terror to Bradfield’s gay community, police revealed this afternoon.’ As the newsreader’s words sank in, I felt my anger depart, the hollowness inside me whole once more.
Without waiting for more, I slammed the phone down. They’d got something right at last. But I’d gone through four hours of hell because of their mistake. Every hour I’d suffered would be an hour added on to the agonies of Dr Tony Hill, I vowed.
Because the Bradfield police have now committed the ultimate absurdity. Dr Tony Hill, the stupid man who hadn’t even recognized that all my crimes belonged to me, has been appointed the official police consultant to the serial-killer enquiry. The poor, deluded fools. If that’s their best hope, then they clearly have no hope.
17
In a murder of pure voluptuousness, entirely disinterested, where no hostile witness was to be removed, no extra booty to be gained and no revenge to be gratified, it is clear that to hurry would be altogether to ruin.
The agony was so extreme Tony wanted to believe he was in a nightmare. He had never understood before how many different kinds of pain there were. The dull throb in his head; the harsh rasp in his throat; the screaming, wrenching rip in his shoulders; and the knives of cramps in his thighs and calves. At first, the pain blocked all his other senses. His eyes screwed up tight, all he knew was suffering so stark it made the sweat pop out on his forehead.
Gradually, he learned to bear the extremes of his pain, realizing that if he took his weight on his feet, the cramps would slowly subside and the excruciating tearing in his shoulders grow less. As the torment became more tolerable, he grew aware that he felt nauseous, a deep queasiness that sat in his stomach and threatened to spill over at any moment. God alone knew how long he’d been hanging here.
Slowly, fearfully, he opened his eyes and raised his head, a movement which sent a spasm of agony through his neck and shoulders. Tony looked around. Instantly, he wished he hadn’t. He knew immediately where he was. The room was brightly lit, spotlights mounted on the ceiling and walls revealing a whitewashed room, its rough stone floor marked with dark stains that he knew without examination were the visible remains of the blood that had pooled and splashed there. Facing him was the blind eye of a camcorder on a tripod, a red light on the side indicating that his scrutiny was not going unrecorded. Fixed to the far wall was a magnetic strip with a selection of knives hanging neatly on it. In one corner of the room, he saw the unmistakable implements of torture. A rack; a strange contraption like a chair which he recognized but could not name at first. Something religious? Something vaguely Christian? Something treacherous, not what it seemed? A Judas chair, that was it. And on the wall, a huge wooden saltire, like some hideously perverted holy relic. A soft moan escaped from his dry lips.
Now he knew the worst, he took stock of his own position. He was naked, his skin gooseflesh in the chill of the cellar. His hands were fastened behind his back; judging by the hard edges cutting into his wrists, by handcuffs, held taut in their turn by a rope or chain or something that was obviously fastened to the ceiling. This hawser was tight enough to force his upper body forward, leaving him doubled over at the waist. Tony managed to push himself on to the tips of his toes and twist his body sideways. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see a strong nylon rope leading from behind him, through a pulley, along the ceiling, through another pulley on to a winch.
‘Jesus Christ,’ he croaked. He was afraid to look at his feet, lest his worst fears should be confirmed, but he forced his eyes downwards nevertheless. As he had feared, each ankle was encased in a leather strap. The straps in their turn were attached to a rope cradle that held a heavy stone flag. An involuntary shudder of fear rippled through him, stressing his tortured muscles even further. He knew about torture; to treat his patients he’d had to study the history of sadism. Not even in his worst moments had he imagined he would face so inhuman a fate.
His mind was already racing ahead. He would be winched up till he reached the ceiling. His muscles would wrench and tear, his joints strain to their utmost limit. Then the winch would be released, letting him drop a few feet before the brake was applied. The weight of the stone flag, still hurtling downwards accelerating at thirty-two feet per second, would finish the job, ripping his joints apart, leaving him dangling in a jumble of dislocated limbs. If he was lucky, the shock and pain would thrust him into unconsciousness. Strappado, brought to a fine art by the Spanish Inquisition. No need for high tech in torture.
In a bid to escape the blind panic his knowledge had brought him to, he forced himself to cast his mind back to what had happened. The woman at the door, that was where it had started. As he had let her into the house, Tony had felt a niggle of familiarity. He felt sure he’d seen her somewhere, but he couldn’t imagine having seen someone so distinctively ugly and not remembering. He’d walked ahead of her down the hall and into his study. Then, the faintest whiff of a strangely medicinal, chemical smell, before a hand had sneaked round his neck and clamped a cold, disgusting pad on his face. A kick behind his knee to buckle his legs and bring him down. He’d struggled, but with her weight on top of him, it had only lasted for moment before he had lost consciousness.
Then he had drifted in and out of a half-world of light and dark, aware only of the pad that seemed constantly to send him out as soon as he struggled into consciousness. Until, finally, he had come round. In Handy Andy’s torture chamber. Out of nowhere, a quotation sprang into his mind. ‘Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his m
ind wonderfully.’ Somewhere, he knew there was a clue in what had happened that might just allow him to escape what seemed inevitable. All he had to do was to find it.
Had he been completely wrong in his profile? Was the woman who had kidnapped him Handy Andy? Was she the one? Or was she just the decoy, the willing accomplice who got off on her master’s vice? Again, he replayed what his memory would allow him to snatch back. He summoned up the woman’s image again. Clothes first. Beige mac, cut continental style, just like Carol’s, swinging open to reveal a white shirt, enough buttons undone to reveal the swell of full breasts and a deep cleavage. Jeans, trainers. Trainers. They were the same make and model as his own. But none of this was significant, Tony told himself. They were only outward symbols of the care Handy Andy took not to be caught. The woman’s garb had been chosen so that if she did leave any stray fibres, they wouldn’t show up as having any significance, being identifiable as having come from either Carol’s clothes or his. And Carol had been in his house often enough now for her to have left stray fibres.
The woman’s face didn’t really ring any bells either. She was tall for a woman, at least five feet ten, with chunky bone structure to match. Not even her mother could have called her attractive, with her heavy jaw, slightly bulbous nose, wide mouth and eyes set curiously far apart. Even though she was skilfully, if heavily, made up, there wasn’t a lot she could do with the basic building materials. He was sure they’d never been in a room together, though he couldn’t rule out having passed her in the street, at the tram station or on campus.
The trainers. For some reason he kept coming back to the trainers. If only the pain would stop long enough for him to focus properly. Tony locked his legs straight, trying to relieve the agonizing strain on his shoulders. The fraction of an inch he gained wasn’t nearly enough. Again, visceral fear gripped him and he blinked away a tear.
What was it about the trainers? Tony summoned every ounce of concentration he could master, and called up the image of the woman again. With a slow gasp of understanding, he realized what it was. The feet were too big. Even for a woman of that height, the feet were too big. As soon as he grasped that, he remembered the hands too. First, black leather, later thin latex gloves covering big hands, fingers thick and strong. The person who had brought him here had not always been a woman.
Carol pressed the doorbell again. Where the hell was he? The lights were on, the curtains drawn. Maybe he’d nipped out to pick up a pizza, post a letter, buy a bottle of wine, rent a video? With a frustrated sigh, she turned away and walked down to the end of the street, turning into the ginnel that ran between Tony’s street and the houses behind. She walked down to his back yard, where a previous owner had demolished the wall and concreted half the area to provide the hard standing where Tony had told her he always kept his car.
The car was in place, exactly where it should have been. ‘Oh, bloody hell,’ Carol complained. Edging past the car, she walked up to the house and peered through the kitchen window. The light from the open door into the hall cast a pale glow over the room. No sign of life. No dirty dishes, no empty bottles.
On the off chance, Carol tried the back door. No joy. ‘Bloody men,’ she grumbled as she strode back to her car. ‘Five minutes, pal, then I’m off,’ she said, throwing herself into the driver’s seat. Ten minutes crawled by, but no one appeared.
Carol started the engine and drove off. At the end of the street, she glanced across at the pub on the other side of the main road. It was worth a try, she supposed. It took less than three minutes to check the smoky, crowded rooms and discover that wherever Tony Hill was, it wasn’t in the Farewell to Arms.
Where else could he be within walking distance at nine o’clock on a Sunday night? ‘Anywhere,’ she told herself. ‘You can’t be his only friend in the world. He wasn’t expecting you; you only called round to arrange a meeting for tomorrow.’
Giving up, Carol drove home. The flat was empty. Michael, she remembered, was out to dinner with some woman he’d met at a trade fair. She decided to give up on the world and go to bed. But first, she’d better leave a message on Tony’s machine. If she turned up two mornings running without warning, he might start to get twitchy. The answering machine checked in after a couple of rings, but there was no outgoing message, just a series of clicks followed by the tone. ‘Hi, Tony,’ she said. ‘I don’t know if your machine’s working properly, so I don’t know if you’ll get this message. It’s twenty past nine, and I’m about to have an early night. I’ll be in the office first thing, working on the computer supplies stuff. Mr Brandon’s called a case conference for tomorrow at three. If you want to get together before then, give me a call. I’ll be in the HOLMES room if I’m not in the squad room.’
Sitting down with Nelson on her lap and a stiff drink by her side, Carol thought about the job that lay ahead. The list of computer supplies companies who sold the peripherals and hardware Handy Andy would need to construct his own images was depressingly long. She had told Dave not to start work on it until she’d had a chance to check out the software company. Their list of customers would be shorter, and they would have the Discovery to cross-reference that list with. Only if that came up blank would she set Dave’s team loose on the dozens of numbers she’d painstakingly compiled that evening. ‘We’ll get there, Nelson,’ she told the cat. ‘It just better be worth the trip.’
The clatter of high heels on stone cut through the delirium of pain like a wire through cheese. So everyday a sound, translated by its location into a threat. He had no idea whether it was day or night, or how long had passed since he had been snatched from his life. Tony forced himself into alertness as the sound approached him from behind. She was coming downstairs. At the foot of the stairs, the clicking ended. He heard a low chuckle. Slowly, one step at a time, the footsteps crossed behind him. He could sense the scrutiny he was under.
She took her time, skirting round his trussed body until she moved into his line of vision. Tony was momentarily taken aback by the magnificence of her body. From the neck down, she could have been a model for a soft-porn magazine. She stood with legs apart, arms akimbo. She wore a loose red silk kimono, which fell open to reveal an extraordinary red leather basque with peephole nipples and a split crotch. Black stockings sheathed shapely, muscular legs which ended in black stilettoes. Even under the kimono, he could see the clear outline of strong, well-muscled arms and shoulders. From where he was hanging, she was as erotic as a kaolin poultice.
‘Worked it out yet, Anthony?’ she drawled, the warmth of suppressed laughter evident in her voice.
The stressing of his full name was the last turn in the Rubik’s cube of his memory. His mind racing, Tony said, ‘I suppose a couple of paracetamol would be out of the question, Angelica?’
The low chuckle again. ‘Glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humour.’
‘No, only my dignity. I wasn’t expecting this, Angelica. Nothing in our phone conversations led me to imagine this is what you had in mind for me.’
‘You had no idea who I was, did you?’ Angelica said, pride unmistakable in her tones.
‘Yes and no. I didn’t know you were the person who killed those men. But I did know you were the woman for me.’
Angelica frowned, as if uncertain how to respond. She turned away and checked the camcorder. ‘You took long enough to get that far. Do you have any idea how many times you slammed the phone down on me?’ Her voice was angry, not hurt.
Tony sensed the danger and tried to find emollient words. ‘That was because I had a problem, not because of you.’
‘You had a problem with me,’ she said, moving over to the stone benches that ran along one wall. She picked up another cassette and walked back to the camera.
Tony tried again. ‘Quite the opposite,’ he said. ‘I’ve always had trouble with relationships with women. That’s why I didn’t know how to treat you in the beginning. But it got so much better. You know it did. You know we were wonderful together. Tha
nks to you, I feel like all my problems are behind me.’ He hoped she wasn’t alive to the unintentional irony in his words.
But Angelica was no fool. ‘I think you can safely say that, Anthony,’ she said with a wry smile.
‘You outsmarted me, you know. I was convinced the killer was a man. I should have known better.’
With her back to him, Angelica swapped the cassettes in the camcorder. Then she wheeled round and said, ‘You’d never have caught me. And with you out of the way, no one else will either.’
Ignoring the threat, Tony continued to chat, straining to keep his voice warm and even. ‘I should have realized you were a woman. The subtlety, the attention to detail, the care you took to clear up after yourself. It was stupid of me not to grasp that those were the hallmarks of a woman’s mind, not a man’s.’
Angelica smirked. ‘You’re all the same, you psychologists.’ She spat the word out as though it were an obscenity. ‘You’ve got no imagination.’
‘But I’m not like them, Angelica. OK, I made that one crucial mistake, but I bet I know more about you than any of them ever did. Because you’ve shown me the inside of your mind. And not just through the killings. You’ve shown me the real woman, the woman who comprehends love. But I guess they didn’t understand you, did they? They didn’t believe you when you told them you had a woman’s spirit trapped in a man’s body. Oh, I expect they pretended to, I expect they patronized you and talked down to you. But deep down, they wrote you off as a freak, didn’t they? Believe me, I’ve never done that.’ Tony’s voice cracked as he reached the end of his speech, his mouth dry with a mixture of fear and chloroform. At least the adrenaline coursing through his veins seemed to be acting as an analgesic.
‘What do you know about me?’ she said roughly, the pain on her face a strange contrast with the coquettish pose she had adopted.