West was drunk, talking too loud, going on about the ramifications of power and ambition using Macbeth as an example.
Maggie was tense against me, but I just kept kissing her, soothing her, all while my heart raced, hoping to God they were too drunk to realize they weren’t alone. Seconds later, they were washing their hands, and we heard the rise and fall of the crowd in the bar as the door closed behind them.
I kissed her hungry lips again. I thought about her talking to the intruder as I slipped my fingers in the leg of her panties and inside of her, pressing my hips against the back of my hand. Heard her laughing at what he’d said as she fumbled between our bodies for my zipper and freed me. I shifted my hips until my tip rested against the slick line of her, picturing her hand on his chest as I flexed and filled her to the hilt.
Mine.
I couldn’t breathe as I pulled out and slammed back in.
“Harder,” she breathed, and I gave her what she wanted.
My fingers gripped her thighs as I held her still, driving into her, flexing my hips until she tightened around me, her arms, her legs, her body. One thrust, then another, and she came — one more and I followed.
I held her against the wall with my body, and my hands cupped her cheeks, fingers in her hair as I covered her mouth with mine and kissed her deep.
When I broke away, she looked up at me with hot eyes. “I cannot believe we just did that,” she said with a breathy laugh. “I’ve never done anything like that before.” Her eyes widened. “And West … oh, God, Cooper.”
I thumbed her flushed cheeks. “Don’t worry about West. He’s too drunk on whiskey and Lily to notice us.”
“We shouldn’t have done this. Not here. We could have been caught so easily.”
The door opened again, and someone went about their business. I brought my lips to her ear. “You’re safe with me, Maggie.”
“Am I?” she whispered, the question loaded, and my chest ached.
So of course, I made a joke. “I’d never risk the pants that I’m the boss of.”
She stifled a laugh, and I kissed her again, hoping she could feel the truth as the door opened and closed again.
I put her feet on the ground and kissed her once more before we cleaned up quickly, and I moved to the door to check the hallway, which was clear. I motioned for her to follow.
She blew past me and down the hall, looking back over her shoulder at me with a smile before she disappeared.
I leaned against the wall again, my hands in my pockets, staring at the flyers stuck on the wall like wallpaper, layer after layer of them, trying to get a handle on the thoughts spinning through my brain.
I was jealous, I realized curiously. I was possessive of her. The feeling of ownership hadn’t left me, though it was quieter than it had been, an undercurrent instead of a tsunami. It wasn’t something I’d felt before — not at this level. And I had no idea what that meant. But until I figured it out, I’d play it cool, starting then.
And so, I put on The Smile and headed back into the bar, focusing instead on a plan to get Maggie to come home with me.
8
MR. M
Maggie
MY HEART CHUGGED LIKE A freight train as I walked through the bar and back to our friends, feeling like a sexy-ass criminal. Who knew sex in a public restroom could be so hot? And Cooper jealous? I mean, if that hadn’t set off my libido, I might have thought about seeing a doctor.
Cooper was right about West — he was smiling with Lily in his arms, completely oblivious. Rose and Patrick laughed as Astrid told a story, and I sidled in, catching the tail end of it. I laughed when they laughed, half listening, my body still humming from Cooper.
He was beside me again a minute later, and I had to stop myself from looking at him. He brushed against me to take a seat, sending a shock through me.
I glanced at Lily, who stared at me with her brow quirked. She looked at Cooper, then at me once more, and her smile slowly fell, eyes widening.
I watched it all click like detonators going off behind her eyes, and I silently begged her not to say anything.
She threw on a fake smile and looked up at West, turning him so his back was to us.
I glanced over at Cooper, and he met my eyes. And in that moment, I decided.
I was officially the queen of bad decisions.
I didn’t know what to do, standing between Cooper and my brother, amongst my friends who I’d been lying to. Lying over a guy who I couldn’t have, who I shouldn’t want.
There was only one thing to do. I had to get the hell out of there.
I smiled. “Hey, y’all — I’m gonna head out.”
Rose and Astrid whined and pouted.
“I know, I know. But it’s late, and I’ve got a big day tomorrow. If I go in hungover and tired, I’ll never make a good impression.”
The girls conceded and gave me hugs, and West patted my head like I was a puppy, wishing me luck. Cooper gave me a long, lingering look, and Lily whispered something into West’s ear. He smiled like an idiot and blushed a little, giving her a quick kiss.
“I’m out too, guys. Gotta be up early in the morning. I’ll walk you home, Mags.” She turned to me and grabbed my arm, hauling me out of Habits under the guise of a smile and a wave at our friends.
The second we hit the sidewalk, she spun around and let me have it. “Oh my fucking God, Maggie. Tell me that Mr. M is not Cooper. Please. Please, please, please.” Her eyes pinched closed.
I bit my lip.
She cracked her lids. “Please?”
“I’m sorry, Lily.”
She groaned and dropped her head back before taking a deep breath and letting it out slow. “Please tell me how the fuck this happened. From the beginning.” She hooked her arm in mine, and we started walking toward our building.
I took a deep breath of my own. I hadn’t told anyone besides Brooke, not a single soul. “Well, it all started on my wedding night.”
She stopped dead, and I stumbled backward. “What?” Her eyes bugged.
I blushed. “God, don’t make me say it again.”
“Are you serious?” She looked me over. “Oh, my God. You’re serious.”
I had no idea how to explain myself. “I don’t know how it happened. I was just so …”
Lily shook her head, fuming. “That son of a bitch took advantage of you. West is going to kill him.”
I shook my head, blustering. “No. Really, Lily — he didn’t take advantage. I wanted him. I needed him that night. I swear to you that he didn’t have to convince me of anything. He promised me nothing. But if West finds out … well, West can’t find out.”
Lily ran a hand across her forehead. “No, you’re right about that. I refuse to date a criminal.” She sighed again, the sound heavy, and we started walking again. “Come on. We have an hour before West comes home, and you’re about to tell me everything. If I’m going to keep this from him, there better be a damn good reason. And you’d better convince me that Cooper’s not using you, because if he is, I’m telling West tonight, consequences be damned.”
I nodded as we walked past the pizza counter. The smell normally made me salivate, but tonight, it only turned my stomach.
She watched me. “Do you need liquor or are you ready to spill the details?”
“Just promise me liquor at home and I’ll start now.”
“Deal. Start at the beginning. I think I can handle it this time.”
I thought back to that night, the first night, my worst night. “Do you have any idea how hard the reception was, Lily?” I asked softly.
She turned to look me in the eye. “I can’t even begin to imagine.”
“I was okay for a lot of it, just smiling through, you know? Don’t get me wrong — I wanted to have the reception — really. I felt like I needed it. Like I just wanted to throw that party and wear that dress and give Jimmy the big fuck-you. It was a good thing. But it was hard, Lily. It was so hard. And there was this moment when e
veryone else disappeared and I was alone for the first time since everything had fallen apart. I wasn’t ready for that, to deal with that. I was scared, and I was alone, and Cooper was right there.”
Lily didn’t say anything, so after a second, I kept going. “For that moment, in his arms, everything was fine. He was a diversion, a distraction. That night, he was everything I needed.”
“And then what happened?”
“The next morning he left, and I left, and I didn’t see him again until he picked me up at the airport.”
She paused, and I could almost hear her thinking. “Have you been together ever since?”
“Ever since Noir. Sneaking away from West and Patrick at the club wasn’t hard. Astrid left on her own. I went home with Cooper.”
“And what about Astrid? Is he banging her too?” Her voice was tight. “I never know what’s going on with the two of them, and neither of them will talk about it.”
“He says he’s not.”
“And you believe him? If he’s stepping out on my sister for West’s sister—”
“Lily, I believe him,” I said earnestly. “Astrid is seeing someone else, but it’s a secret … he’s, like, anti-media, so she and Cooper ‘date’ just as a cover so everyone would leave them alone.”
Lily frowned. “But why wouldn’t she have told me?”
“Sam is just so private, and apparently Astrid is really afraid she’ll lose him if anyone finds out. Even you.”
“I’m talking to her about this. I just don’t know if I believe it.”
“I’ve been having a hard time with it too. But I believe both of them,” I said as we reached our building. It was the truth.
Lily pulled open the door. “I don’t even know what to say, Maggie. I mean … Cooper? I don’t think he’s ever had a serious relationship, and he’s slept with every eligible woman in Manhattan — and most of Brooklyn. He’s literally the opposite of boyfriend material.”
We stepped inside and climbed the stairs. “Which is why I don’t consider him my boyfriend.”
“Cooper is Mr. M,” she said half to herself. “You’re having a no-strings affair with Cooper Moore. It seemed so much more relatable when it wasn’t him. But I guess if there was one man who it might be safe to say feelings wouldn’t be involved, it would be Cooper.”
“I have fun with him. It’s easy, aside from the whole sneaking around thing. He’s amazing in bed.”
She snickered as she dug in her bag for her keys. “I can’t say I’m surprised, but ugh. Is he really not seeing anyone else? I don’t think I’ve ever known him to only see one woman for any period of time, even Astrid. I mean, we all figured he was running around, but the fact that it’s you is just crazy.”
“I really don’t think he is. Lily — he deleted all of his hookup contacts the other day.”
She stopped in the hallway with her hand frozen in her bag. “No way.”
“I know. And he did it smiling, like it was no big deal at all.”
Lily blinked and shook her head, moving to unlock the door. “What in the world? Is this like a sign of the end times? Are we going to wake up tomorrow to zombie flu and flaming meteors?”
I chuckled and stepped into the apartment behind her. “He was trying to prove a point — that he was honoring the rules.”
“Ah, the rules.” She turned on the light and tossed her keys in the dish.
“I know everyone thinks they’re dumb, but they make me feel safe.”
She nodded, though I suspected she was keeping something to herself.
“There are only two weeks left before it’s over, but in the meantime, it’s a one day at a time kind of thing. I’m always free. He’s always free. I’m lonely, and so is he. So we keep each other company. It’s not all that complicated.”
Lily shot me a look as she walked into the kitchen. “Except for West.”
“Yes,” I conceded. “Except for West.”
Lily collected supplies for gin and tonics and set them on the table. “I just can’t believe that Cooper would do this to West, you know? That he would risk his friendship for a fling.”
I took a seat, feeling a hundred years old. “We’re not doing it to hurt West.”
“That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t still hurt him if he found out.”
“It’s another reason for the rules. Easier to hide it if it’s brief, you know?”
She shook her head and poured us each a drink. “I really don’t know what he would do. I don’t like to think he would turn his back on Cooper, but I can’t say that’s not a real possibility. He’d be hurt, Maggie. Really hurt. Like, ultimate betrayal of the bro code. Especially if it’s just for sport. But, if you two were serious …”
I picked up my glass and took a long drink. “I don’t have it in me to be serious about anyone right now. I need somebody, and Cooper is safe … ish.”
Lily guffed.
“No, but really. He’s familiar. I know him well enough to know what to expect. I know he’ll be careful with me because he loves West. It’s safer than Tinder, anyway.”
“Maybe.”
I gave her a look.
She rolled her eyes. “All right. Marginally.”
I looked down at my drink. “It just feels good to forget.”
Lily shook her head and took a drink. “I just cannot believe Mr. M is Cooper.” She sat up straighter. “Wait — tonight, when you both disappeared, did you …”
My cheeks were on fire. “Yeah. In the bathroom. West came in.”
Her jaw was on the table. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I dropped my head to my hands. “I know, Lily. I know! So, so stupid.”
“You cannot do that again. And you can’t hook up over here, either.”
I looked up at her, hopeful. “Does that mean you’re not going to tell West?”
She sighed, not looking happy about it. “No, I won’t tell him.” She picked up her drink. “This sucks.”
“I’m sorry, Lily. I didn’t want to drag you into this. But can I just tell you how relieved I am that you know? It’s been so hard, keeping it a secret.”
“No one knows?”
“Only you, Astrid, and my friend from back home, Brooke.”
She watched me for a beat. “West is going to figure it out. You’re his sister, and Cooper is his best friend. I saw you two together, and it was just so obvious all of a sudden that something was going on. The look on your face and his — it was written all over both of you. You’ve got to figure something out.”
I chewed my lip. “There’s nothing to figure out. It’ll be over soon. Don’t you think we can keep it a secret until it’s over?”
“If you quit banging all over the place, maybe.”
“Obviously. Two weeks. That’s it.” I looked down at my gin and swirled it around in my glass.
She watched me. “You look a little sad about that for this being ‘easy’ and ‘no big deal.’”
It was the truth, though, and I knew it. I didn’t really want it to end, even though I knew it was exactly what it had to do. “He’s the one little bright spot in my life, and he’s so bright that I almost can’t see any of the bad.”
“Why not date?”
I cackled. “Date? Cooper Moore? I mean, really, Lily. His last name literally means excess.”
“I think it refers to a geographical feature—”
I gave her a flat look.
“—but I get your meaning.”
I shook my head. “Cooper is like the chaser you slam after a shot of cheap vodka. He’s there to wash the taste away after the pain.” I didn’t know how much I believed it, even though that was what I’d been telling myself for weeks. “Anyway, you even just said he’s the opposite of boyfriend material.”
She shrugged. “I’m just wondering if there’s more to it than that.”
“Regardless, I’m sure West would be pleased as punch if I dated Cooper.”
“He’d be happier with a relationship
than you guys just banging for fun, I’ll tell you that for sure.”
But I shook my head and dug in my heels. “I can’t date. I can’t. I’m not ready for that. Not to be serious. And not with Cooper. How could he be serious about me when he doesn’t take anything seriously? I did that once, Lily. I did it once, and I will never, ever do it again. I don’t want to fall in love. I don’t want to date. I don’t want expectations from Cooper, and I don’t want to expect anything from him, either.”
She reached for my hand on the table and squeezed it. “I get it. I’m sorry, Maggie.”
I squeezed her fingers back. “It’s not your fault that I have a type.”
She gave me a comforting smile. “True. If things were different, do you think it could be more?”
“You mean if I weren’t emotionally crippled, if Cooper weren’t a slacker, and if West wouldn’t club Cooper?”
She chuckled and picked up her drink. “Yes.”
I sighed and picked mine up too. “Who knows. None of it’s clear to me.” I took a sip. “Growing up is dumb.”
“The worst.”
“Let’s just make a blanket fort and hang out in there indefinitely.”
She raised her glass. “If there are bacon burgers, I’m in.”
“Bacon burgers and french fries and gin. And ice cream.” My phone vibrated in my purse on the table, and I dug around for it.
Lily’s brow rose. “That’s like the third time that’s gone off.”
It was Cooper. I sighed as I glanced at his messages. “He wants to know if I’m okay.”
“Well,” she said as she stood, “I’ll leave you to it. I’m going to head to West’s.”
I looked up at her, hating that I’d dragged her into the mess. “I’m sorry to ask you to keep this secret.”
“I get the necessity. Trust me. I don’t know if I can lie to him if he asks me outright, though. And I can’t save either of you if he finds out.”
“I know. Do what you have to do. But I swear, you won’t have to hide it from him because Cooper and I will just go underground. No more hanging out with everyone, no more being reckless. And if things get hairy, I promise, I’ll end it. I don’t want to put you out any worse than I already have.”