I smirked. “Straight to it, huh?”
She shrugged and offered me the Cheetos bag. I took one and popped it in my mouth, buying myself a little time as I chewed.
“It’s complicated,” was the best answer I could come up with.
“But you like her, right?”
“For a long time, yeah.” I watched her, wondering if she was angling to hit on me.
“Then what’s in your way?”
“We are.”
She dropped her chin and rested her forearms on her thighs. “Look, I’ve known Rose my entire life. She’s practically a big sister to me. I know her, and she cares about you. Like, as in, more than a friend. As in, she’s got it bad for you.”
I smiled. “You say that like she’s not on a date right now.”
Ellie shrugged and ate another chip. “Trying to get over you. You’re not making it easy, what with your naked shower shows and whatnot.”
I chuckled. “That really was an accident.”
“Oh, I’m sure it was, but it still happened.” She laughed and shook her head. “Man, you should have seen her face when you were getting dressed. I think you should go after her.” Ellie pointed a Cheeto at me.
“Well, you’re in luck because I’m going to.”
Her face screwed up in confusion. “Wait, what?”
I reached into her bag and grabbed a chip. “I said, I’m going after Rose.”
She blinked. “Are you serious?”
I nodded and opened my mouth, tossing the Cheeto in.
“Wow, I thought that was going to take a lot more convincing. What’s your plan?”
“No one gets anywhere with Rose by pushing, so I’m just waiting for the opportunity. My plan is to hang out here with her as much as possible until she caves. I get it now. I’ve seen it. I feel it. So I’m going to take a shot. Even if it’s my last one.”
She huffed, brows knitting together. “You can’t just sit here on your ass and wait. She’s out on a date right now, literally right now, and has been hanging out with this hot skater dude all day.”
My smile slipped off my face. “Oh?”
“Yeah. So maybe don’t push her, but definitely don’t just wait like a good little soldier. You’ve got to take charge, before it’s too late. Just take her. I don’t think she has it in her to say no.”
The door opened behind us to Rose’s laughter, but before I turned to the sound, Ellie looked me dead in the eye and said, “You can’t let her say no.”
When I looked over my shoulder, I found Rose smiling a smile I hadn’t seen in a very, very long time, legs long in cutoffs and Vans, flannel tied around her waist. Her head turned back to the guy following her in, and I couldn’t help but check him out. Tall. Built. The vibe I got from him was that he was all right.
Naturally, I wanted to get up and deck him.
When Rose saw me on the couch next to Ellie, she might have said the same. Her eyes narrowed with suspicion.
She set her skateboard down next to the door and dropped her keys in the dish. “Ah, hey guys. This is Greg. Greg, this is my friend Patrick and my cousin Ellie.”
Ellie smiled and waved, and I jerked my chin in lieu of a greeting, pulse thumping in my ears.
“What’s up?” he said, smiling, and turned back to Rose. His voice dropped as he reached for her hand.
My eyes were stuck on their point of contact so hard, Ellie kicked me. I blinked and looked away, turning to stare at the television blankly as every molecule listened to them in the entry.
“I had a great time today, Rose,” he said. “Thanks for hanging out, but I should probably head home.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay? Or we could go get a drink?”
I could hear her smiling — she didn’t want him to leave. The knowledge made me feel sick. Maybe Ellie and Joel were right. Maybe I’d waited too long. Maybe I should have kissed her the second I had a chance and prayed West was right, that a kiss would be all it took.
“I feel like I should quit while I’m ahead. It was a great day.” I think he was smiling too.
This is bad.
“Third time was most definitely a charm,” she said as she walked him out the door and stepped into the hall.
I turned again, training my eyes on the door, trying not to think about what was happening on the other side of it.
Ellie smirked at me. “I’ve never seen somebody frosty and on fire at the same time before.”
I sniffed and looked away. “What do you mean?”
She motioned to me, amused. “Look at you. You look like you could explode, but you’re cool as a cucumber too.”
I turned back to the TV. “Yeah. Well, Rose does that to me.”
The door opened again, and Rose walked in, blushing. Heat crept up my neck at the sight.
She shook her head at Ellie. “Have you moved at all today, Ellie?”
“Nope.” She hopped off the couch and smiled at the two of us. “I got some bath bombs yesterday and we made a date for tonight. So I’m going to take a long bath in that gigantic tub of yours. Because I take what I want and tonight, that’s a bath.” She gave me a pointed look.
Rose chuckled as she made her way into the kitchen. “Uh, okay, Ellie.”
Ellie twiddled her fingers and bounded off.
“Whiskey?” Rose asked from behind me.
I propped my feet on the coffee table, not sure how I felt, but absolutely certain that I needed alcohol. “Always.”
I listened to her in the kitchen, the clink of glasses and ice, the low pop of the bottle’s cork-top, trying to find meaning in what Ellie had said.
She brought in the drinks and sat next to me on the couch, passing mine over.
“Looks like your date went well,” I said before taking a sip.
I tried to read her face, but it was blank. “It did,” was all she said before changing the subject. “What have you and Ellie been up to?”
I shrugged, feeling salty. “MTV. I’m waiting on them to start a show about people addicted to their network.”
“That sounds about right,” Rose said with a laugh and took a drink. “Excited for your birthday party? One more day!”
I snorted and sank down into the couch, resting my head on the back with a sigh. “Yeah, you know how much I love being the center of attention.”
“Aw, it’ll be fun,” she assured me. “It’s just Habits. Although, I won’t promise Lily didn’t get a cake.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, West told me.”
She smiled. “I figured you’d like to know in advance. Pretty sure that’s the only potentially embarrassing moment, though. Just sit through the fifteen seconds of Happy Birthday, and you’re home free.”
I groaned.
She looked down at her thigh and tugged at the fraying ends of her cutoffs, avoiding eye contact. “Hey, so Greg was going to come with me tomorrow night, if that’s okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?” I took a drink and looked away. Lie, lie, lie.
She twisted a long strand around her finger. “You know why. I just figured since there will be so many people there, and since we’d be at Habits …”
“It’s fine, Rose. Really,” I smiled, feeling like I was going to choke on the truth.
She smiled and bought it with a sigh. “Thanks, Tricky.” She settled into the couch and took a drink. “So who all is going to be there?”
“Everyone from the shop. You guys. Seth.”
Her face hardened.
“I know, I know. But it’s a big deal that he’s coming.”
“Can’t disagree with that,” she muttered.
I frowned. “Come on, Rose.”
“What?” she said defensively. “That guy’s a vortex of drama, and I don’t want you to get sucked in again. It’s not fair to you when his shit blows up because you’re the one that gets nailed with shrapnel. I just don’t want you to get hurt again — you have to get that.”
She didn’t even realize that she kil
led me every single day. I took a drink to buy a second. “Look, what if Lily was sick? What if she needed you, but helping her hurt you. Would you do it?”
She gave me a flat look. “Lily would never be like Seth because she’s Lily.”
I gave her the look right back. “Humor me.”
“If you’re asking if I’d do anything for Lily, the answer is yes. But you know I have a line. There’s only so much I can give, and if it got to the point where I’d said enough’s enough, that would be it.”
“Well, I guess we’re different that way. I don’t know how to walk away for good.” I looked away and took a drink.
“Loyal to a fault?”
I shrugged. “I just like to call it loyal.”
She sighed and changed the subject. “Anyway, tomorrow should be fun. I haven’t seen Joel in forever.”
“He doesn’t really ever change. It’ll be good to have everyone together.”
“Plus, free drinks.”
“And that,” I said with a smile and took a drink.
So did Rose before resting the glass on her bare thigh. “Is Veronica coming?” Her voice was a little too controlled, her face a little too still.
My smile climbed on one side. “Yeah, she’ll be there.”
“Great. I’m sure that won’t be weird.”
“Ronnie said the same thing. Just don’t make it weird and it won’t be.”
“Ha.” She raised her glass. “Easy enough.”
I gave her what I hoped was a comforting smile. “It’ll be fine. Just as easy as Greg and I will have it.”
“So, not at all?” she joked.
“It’ll be fine, Rosie.”
It wasn’t something I called her much anymore, and it affected her, I could tell. She looked to the television, watching the logo of the cable company move across the screen so she wouldn’t have to look at me.
She nodded toward it. “So, is this it for tonight?”
No reason why I couldn’t keep the plan going where I could, so I made her an offer I knew she couldn’t refuse. “It’s looking that way. I was thinking about watching Better Off Dead.”
She beamed. “Classic John Cusack, and the best Savage Steve Holland movie, hands down. Two dollars!” she said with a laugh.
I pointed at nothing. “Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.”
“I live my life by that quote.”
I chuckled. “So, you in?”
She turned to face the television and sank into the couch. “Definitely.”
I started the movie as Rose grabbed my comforter and pulled it over her, slinging part of it over me too. Before long, she sank into the dip between cushions, finding her way closer to me as we laughed, reciting the lines we knew. And by the time the credits rolled and we started Sixteen Candles, Greg was a distant memory, and Rose was mine, even if only for a hundred and twenty minutes at a time.
15
MAKE A WISH
Rose
ELLIE AND I STOOD AT the foot of my bed the night of Patrick’s birthday party, staring at the pile of clothes on my bed. Valentino hopped on the mattress, climbed on the pile, and sat on it like the fashionable bastard he was.
I looked over the pile. “Who knew dressing up for a date for your ex-boyfriend’s party would be so complicated?”
Ellie laughed. “Uh, pretty much everyone who ever thought about it.” She hung her hand on her hip. “I vote that one.” She pointed at a black dress that was far too short to be appropriate for a second date, or Patrick’s birthday.
“Fuck it. I’m going with the classics.” I picked up the cat, and he mewled lazily as I set him to the side so I could dig through the pile, slinging clothes over my shoulder. “Black jeans, white V-neck, leather jacket, hot pink heels. Bam. Done.”
“So, the first thing you tried on?”
“Is there really another way to do this?”
She shrugged. “Not that I know of.”
Valentino jumped down and rubbed against Ellie’s leg, and she picked him up, nuzzling into his neck. “Nervous?” she asked me.
I chewed my lip. “Does it show?”
“Only if I look at you.”
“Ugh. I don’t know what it is.”
“Well, you’re about to go on your first real date with a guy you like, except your ex will be there.”
My face fell. “Right. Probably not my best idea.”
“Too late now,” she sang, smiling.
“I mean, Greg is a good guy. He’s straightforward, says exactly what he thinks, which means he’s the opposite of Patrick. None of that unspoken words drama. Simple. Easy. That’s what I need. Something easy.”
She shrugged. “Sure, I guess. I mean, I like a little mystery sometimes, but that’s just me.” She kissed Valentino. “What time is it?”
I checked my phone and hissed a swear word. “Uh, late.”
Ellie rubbed her nose against the cat’s. “Come on, you sexy beast. Let’s go get fancy.”
I swear to God he winked at me over Ellie’s shoulder as she left the room.
I threw on my clothes in a whirl and headed into the bathroom to get the rest of me in order. Luckily, I had a foolproof five-minute rush makeup system, one that had been forged over years and years of being perpetually late.
I blew through the motions, leaving everything laying on the counter — foundation, nude eyeshadow, cat-eyes with gel liner, applied off muscle memory alone. Then mascara and the pink lipstick that was the exact same shade as my shoes. I threw on my silver chains, all at varying lengths and textures, finishing just as the doorbell rang.
I fluffed my hair in the mirror, thankful I’d fixed it before the whole dump-out-my-closet fiasco, trying to remember if I’d applied deodorant as I hurried to the door.
Greg smiled and kissed me on the cheek, taking a moment to look me over. I assessed him right back, and I liked what I saw. Black jeans and oxfords, black and white gingham button-down cuffed just above his elbows. It made me just want to stare at his forearms, muscular and covered in tattoos.
He even had great hair, dark and combed neatly with a hard part.
I was winning all over the place.
“You look amazing, Rose,” he said as he touched my arm.
I felt my cheeks flush. “Thanks. You clean up pretty nice, yourself.”
Ellie leaned out of the bathroom as she put in an earring. “Hey, Greg.”
“Nice to see you, Ellie.” He gave her a wave.
“I think we’re just about ready to go.” I picked up my clutch as Ellie walked in.
She looked like a disco ball again in a short, gold sequined dress and black heels. Her red hair was big, her lashes were long, and her lips soft pink. Her eyes were so huge, she didn’t even need liner. I think she’d look like a Japanese cartoon if she put any on. I made a mental note to convince her to do it, just because.
“Bombshell,” I sang in appreciation.
“Gotta use these hips for something.” She bumped me with said hip, but she was so short, it hit me in the upper thigh.
Greg extended his elbow, and I slipped a hand in the bend of his arm just as Ellie took his other arm. His smile was sweet and snarky. “Today must be my lucky day. I get not one, but two lovely ladies on my arm.”
Ellie looked around him, smiling. “And he’s charming. Good one, Rose. Got any friends, Greg?”
“One or two.”
I chuckled as we headed out the door. “I thought you were looking for one of the Tonic boys?”
She shrugged. “There’s plenty of me to go around.”
“What’s Tonic?” Greg asked as we walked down the hall and to the stairs.
“The tattoo parlor where Patrick works,” I answered.
“Ah. How do you know him?”
Ellie and I spoke at the same time.
“They used to date,” she said, just as I said, “He lives down the hall.”
I froze my face to give nothing away, even though I died a
little inside. Ellie just kept talking, not even realizing I was mortified.
“They’ve lived down the hall from each other forever, but he’s actually living with us now, sorta. On account of his roommate and Rose’s roommate getting busy all the time.”
Greg, being the goddamn gentleman he was, took it all in stride, smiling at me in a way that told me it was fine, and he knew I was embarrassed, and that he was sorry for that. “Well, that sounds simple enough.”
Ellie laughed. “Yeah, right. Rose walked in on him getting out of the shower the other day and I thought she was going to have a stroke.”
I laughed, or at least tried to make a noise that sounded like a laugh, though it came out more like a cough and a cackle, or something awkward like that.
Greg let us both go and pushed open the door to our building. Ellie passed first, then me, as I wished I could sink into the floor and disappear. But Greg touched my arm and smiled, saying, “Too bad for him that she’s with me tonight.”
My heart fluttered as I stepped out, and he followed, giving me his arm once more. Ellie was on her own and didn’t seem to mind, just strutted down the sidewalk in that sparkly dress, nearly stopping traffic when we crossed the street. No less than four men and two chicks turned to get a good look at her walking away. She chatted the whole time, and I mercifully steered the conversation to LA, getting her going all the way to Habits.
Ellie was right. I picked a good one.
When we reached the bar, I was on top of the world, feeling hopeful. Very hopeful.
Until we stepped inside, and I saw Patrick. My very first thought, once I could think, was me wondering if I’d ever truly get over him.
Patrick stood in a pack of people, his friends — Joel, Shep, West, and Cooper — who were all laughing. But time stood still for a long moment as my eyes drank in every detail.
The line of his jaw was hard, yet somehow still smooth, his skin perfect, almost the only part of him that wasn’t covered in tattoos — the ink on his neck licked at his jaw like black flames. His nose somehow made his face look boyish, his face always shaven, his hair always neatly combed, but that was all underscored by the chaos of the art that covered his body, the hardness of him at odds with the soft.