Raising my eyes to meet hers again, I make a promise. “Say yes, and I’ll take you to my guy tomorrow.” I’m mentally making a note to call him for an appointment until an image of Silas’s gloved hands manipulating her nipples flashes in my mind. My lips twist into a grimace. “Fuck that. I’ll take you as soon as we find a female piercer.”
Lust sends more of my blood rushing below my belt, her creamy skin drawing me back in to attack her neck and shoulder and collarbone. Her back arches, pressing her breasts into my waiting palms, my hands clamping down to stake my claim. As she rakes her fingers through my hair and holds me to her, she attempts an argument weakened by breathlessness. “The man who has a paying hobby…where women grope his naked body…has a problem with a man touching me…briefly…for my own aesthetic gain?”
With every passing second, the wildcat sheaths her claws a little bit more, feeding my dominant soul and my need to be inside her. The primitive beast in me wants to mark her with my scent so that other men know she’s claimed and to keep their fucking distance.
I hadn’t planned on taking her here, when we both have things to do and people to see, but hell if I can control myself. I know she’s slick with arousal, aching to be filled by my cock, and I don’t care if the whole damn world is waiting on us. There’s no way I’m not burying myself in her hot pussy until we’re both breathless and spent.
I quickly shuck my restrictive jacket and toss it off to the side.
“Nearly naked body,” I say, correcting her as I work to undo my belt and pants. “And the day I let a woman touch my bare cock…” I free myself from my boxer briefs and wrap her hand around my steel length to demonstrate my point. “…is the day you get to invite a stranger to touch your bare tits outside of our playtimes.”
“Fair point,” she says, breathing heavy. She squeezes my erection, eliciting a groan from deep in my chest. “Now do us both a favor: shut the hell up and fuck me already.”
Christ, I love it when she’s feisty. There’s nothing hotter than the challenge of making her so mindless that the sass leeches right out of her. But seeing her today in that meeting, confident and empowered—a woman who knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it—I have a sudden urge to watch her take her own pleasure. She can keep the claws out for all I care. In fact, I hope she does.
“I’ve got a better idea.” Lifting her, I guide her legs around me and carry her over to the leather couch. I sit on the edge then lean away from her, reaching behind my head to let my arms hang over the backrest, and say, “You fuck me.”
“It would be my pleasure, counselor.” Addie bites the corner of her lip, and her aqua eyes darken to a deep sea green as she raises up on her knees enough to position me at the entrance of her pussy. “Here’s to winning.”
I hiss in a breath when she lowers her weight, impaling herself on my cock in one swift move, taking every last, thick inch of me. I’ve never fit so perfectly inside a woman. Like she’s my rightful place. Like she’s home. Like she’s mine.
Mine. She’s mine.
Her heat sears me, branding me as hers… And then it hits me. Fucking hell. Cursing under my breath, I manage to grind out a single word. “Condom.”
Though I’d rather chew glass than sheathe myself now, I force myself to move. But before I can get my wallet out, Addison stops me.
“We don’t need it.” Her eyes plead with me as she strokes my jaw and repeats in a whisper, “We don’t need it.”
It’s true; we’ve had the discussion about her IUD and our health records. But I’ve never gone bareback with a woman before. Never trusted any woman enough to take that risk.
Until now.
“You sure?” I ask, the strain of holding back in my voice.
“So fucking sure.”
Relief floods my chest, and I finally let myself register how goddamn amazing she feels. I’m throwing out every condom I own when I get home. “Then ride my bare cock, Addie. Ride it until you explode from it.”
Bracing her hands on my chest, she starts to roll her hips, and my attempt to remain passive shatters before it ever began. I grip her ass under the panties she’d shoved aside and thrust up to meet her halfway. Her intent gaze locks onto mine and holds fast, daring me to break it, but she doesn’t have to worry. I’m her willing captive.
Her movements are hypnotic, and her pleasure is evident. It’s in her flushed cheeks and bright eyes. In the way her swollen lips are parted by shallow breaths. The way her slick pussy welcomes my cock with every thrust, and grips it tighter on every retreat. I want to chase down our orgasms, and hold them off indefinitely. To get the release we need so badly, and then again not, because getting it means the end is only minutes away.
Mine.
The word echoes in my mind, again and again, like I shouted into the Grand Canyon. It used to shock me, but now my instinct to possess Addison is as familiar to me as my own skin. Except somewhere along the line, the claim morphed from one made by my cock…to one of my heart.
I can’t deny it any longer. I fell in love with Addison Paige. With everything that I am and everything I have, I fucking love this beautiful, courageous woman. For the first time in my life, I’m starting to believe that maybe “forever” truly is possible for a man like me, and it’s all because of her. She is what makes it possible. All I have to do is take the risk and embrace that possibility.
I’ve spent a lifetime guarding myself from ever doing what I’m about to do, but for the chance to keep her, to spend my life loving her…I’ll do anything.
As though sensing the shift in me, she frames my face with her hands and leans her forehead on mine. Still riding me, she stares into my eyes like she’s desperately trying to interpret the stars. “Roman.” My name is a whispered plea on her lips. A plea I need to answer.
“I’m right here,” I rasp, then banding my arms around her, I change our position, laying her on the couch with a swift reverence. I brace myself on my elbows and thread my fingers into her silken hair to cradle the back of her head, while her hands find their way under my shirt to score my back with her nails. She wraps her legs around my waist. The spiked heels of her shoes dig into my ass with every pump of my hips, the bite on my flesh inciting me to give her more. But it’s the tenderness and love shining in her eyes that infuses me with the strength to give her everything.
Our lovemaking isn’t slow and romantic, it’s hurried and feverish. It’s not chick flicks with tissues, it’s office porn with sweat. It’s half-dressed and half-crazy, forceful thrusts and labored breaths. But this is how we started. This is us. This is perfect.
“Addie.” The emotions in my throat barely let her name slip by, so I don’t try to say more. Instead, I gaze into the blue-green depths of her eyes, drop my defenses, and as we crash over the edge together, I offer her the only thing I have left to give.
My soul.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Roman
“We’ll both have a slice of double chocolate cake and cup of coffee, please,” my dad says as he hands the dessert menu back to the waitress. She turns to me for confirmation.
“Just the coffee for me, thanks.”
She waits a beat before letting us know she’ll be back shortly, then walks away.
“When was the last time you had your eyes checked, son?”
“You mean since I had LASIK a year ago, which gave me 20-15 vision?” I ask wryly. “I see perfectly fine, Dad, you know that.”
“Huh,” he says, rubbing his chin with a finger. “It’s just that our beautiful waitress has been giving you the green light all through dinner, and you’ve barely spared her a glance, much less asked her when her shift is over, so I thought your eyesight must be failing you.”
“Maybe I’m growing up,” I offer absently as I check my phone for anything that might give me an excuse to derail this conversation from where it’s headed. An important work email would suffice, but I’d rather have a text from Addie.
“Or maybe,”
he continues, “you only have eyes for one woman in particular.”
And there it is. I’ve been waiting for him to get around to this all evening, so he’s not getting the “oh shit” reaction I know he was going for. Instead, I arch a dubious brow. “Don’t you think I would have told you if I was dating someone?”
“Not if you or that someone didn’t want people to know you were dating.”
I’m not used to keeping things from my dad—we’ve always been close—but this secret doesn’t affect me. It affects Addison. So until we discuss it and she says she’s okay with him knowing, I won’t break her confidence. But I also won’t outright lie to my father.
“Women enjoy what I can give them short-term, but they typically don’t see me as the kind of guy they want to be in a relationship with.”
My dad laughs. “You’re speaking in circles and saying a whole lot of nothing. You should know you can’t bullshit your old man, Roman. If you’re not dating Addison Paige, I’ll eat my tie.”
I shrug a shoulder. “I suggest the gray one with puce stripes. That thing’s revolting.”
His smile is wide, and his blue eyes dance with amusement at my deflection. “All right, kiddo, have it your way. I’m going to go take a leak before dessert gets here. Maybe when I get back you’ll be ready to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, eh?”
Chuckling at his own lawyer humor, he places the cloth napkin on the table and pushes up from his chair. As he passes me, he claps me on the back affectionately. Keeping my relationship with Addison from him didn’t really bother me until now, facing him in person. I can tell he liked her, and after the way she handled herself today, I know he respects the hell out of her. His impression won’t change just because we’re dating, especially since he already suspects us.
I’ll talk to Addie this weekend about telling him. It’ll be a relief to get it out in the open, plus then I can call Rhona. She lives a couple of hours away, but we’re pretty good at keeping in touch. I’ve been putting off talking to her because my sister can get anything out of me, but she can’t keep a secret for shit. She would’ve gone straight to Dad with it.
The realization that I want to tell my family that I have a girlfriend—something I told them they’d never hear from me—is astounding in and of itself. I haven’t used that term since high school. The most committed term I’ve used in adulthood has been “fuck buddy” whenever I met a girl who enjoyed the same sort of casual arrangement I did. Like friends with benefits, except they were more like acquaintances. We’d fuck regularly for a few weeks, or even a few months, but that didn’t mean that we were exclusive with each other, and there were certainly never any feelings involved. Things usually ended naturally and amicably. There were only a couple of times when the girl started to want more, the big hint being that she wanted to stop inviting a third into the bedroom and have it just be us. Ironically, once they asked for more, they ended up with nothing. That was my cue to end things and move on.
From the very beginning, things with Addison have been different. Even with the “fuck buddy” women, eight times out of ten we had a third with us, and the times we didn’t were usually because they were quick, spontaneous fucks. My point being that if given a choice, I preferred ménage and kept the one-on-ones to a minimum.
But whenever Addison and I have sex alone, I never feel like I’m missing an important component like I did with other women. Sex with her consumes my every thought. My focus is entirely on her and her pleasure, how she feels in my arms or wrapped around my waist. The times we invited Austin to play were a bonus, not a necessity as it’s been in the past.
And there’s something else that sets this relationship with Addison apart. Something I haven’t wanted to analyze because, frankly, what it might mean isn’t something I’m ready to face quite yet. There’ll be plenty of time for that after I get through formally introducing her to my family as my girlfriend.
My phone rings, breaking me away from thoughts of inviting my dad and Rhona to my place next weekend so they can get to know Addison. I frown, wondering what Cooper needs. I’d asked him to come out to dinner with us, but he said he had to work late.
“Yeah, Coop, what’s up?”
“Actually,” he says with a sigh, “I’m not even sure I should be calling you. It could be nothing.”
The hair on the back of my neck stands on end. “What’s going on, John?”
“Understand that I’m only doing this because if it is something, I think it’s better for everyone involved if it’s dealt with now rather than later. And remember not to shoot the messenger, okay?”
Jesus Christ, I don’t even want to speculate what he’s about to tell me. Cooper’s holding a grenade with the pin already pulled, and all I can do is sit here in this crowded restaurant and wait for him to lob the thing in my direction. The waitress returns and sets out my dad’s cake and our coffee. She asks me if I’ll be needing anything else, but I don’t even look at her so she leaves.
“John,” I bark, garnering a side-eye from the couple at the next table over.
“You told me Addison wasn’t going with you because she was meeting her cousin for dinner, right?”
Acid churns in my gut at the mention of her name, and my hand cramps from the white-knuckle grip I have on my cell. “Correct.”
“Unless she’s related to Massey, she lied to you, man.”
Why the hell would she be out with Austin? “Where?”
“Starbucks. I decided to take a break and get some fresh air and a sandwich, and that’s when I saw them.”
“Are they still there?”
“Yeah, man.”
“Show me.”
“Roman—”
“Show. Me.”
Sighing, Cooper agrees and hangs up. Seconds later, he tosses that grenade at me in the form of pictures sent to my phone, and my stomach drops. They’re sitting at a table small enough that their knees touch underneath, and their knuckles practically graze each other where their hands are cupping their drinks. Anyone who sees them would think they’re a happy couple enjoying a cozy conversation and overpriced coffee. The look on Austin’s face is one of reverence, and it reminds me of something he said to me just last week.
I’d invited him to my place, and we spent hours exploring all the ways we could make Addie come. When she was completely spent and sleeping soundly in my bed, Austin and I grabbed a couple of beers and drank them on my balcony. He asked me what my intentions were with her, and I’d shrugged off the question with some non-committal comment about having fun and not worrying about the future.
Austin didn’t say anything, and I’d assumed that was the end of it as we drank our beer in silence. But several minutes later, he said, “Be careful, bro. Eventually, Addie’s gonna want more than just ‘having fun,’ and if there’s any part of you that wants more, too, you’d better make your intentions known. If you don’t, someone else will. She deserves more than just fun, Roman. You both do.”
“If you don’t, someone else will.” Jesus fucking Christ, had that been a warning? A clue that he wanted to be the one to give Addison more? I know Austin is like Chance in that he’s always planned on eventually settling down with the right woman. If he’s set his sights on Addie, I sure as hell can’t blame him. Any straight man who knows her and doesn’t want her is suspect in my book. And I was the one who told him we were just having fun, and brought him into our bedroom on multiple occasions, so I don’t really have a leg to stand on when it comes to the loyalty argument.
I let out a dry, cynical laugh. The joke is on me because that “other thing” I mentioned earlier that I don’t want to analyze? It’s the fact that as time’s gone on, it’s become harder and harder for me not to get jealous and possessive anytime Austin’s been involved.
That I never invited anyone but him was telling enough. It never mattered before who the other man was—it could even be someone the woman knew. I didn’t care as long as I was in ch
arge. But whenever I’d think about anyone other than Austin touching Addison, even Liam, jealousy raged like a charging bull inside my head. Then recently, I’ve started entertaining the idea of quitting ménage completely with her. I’m not sure if it would work, or if I’d eventually need it again, but the way I’ve been lately, I’m more than happy with just the two of us.
So of course, now that I’ve fallen for a woman I’ve considered giving up ménage for, karma takes it as the perfect opportunity to fuck me in the ass. I was the one who introduced her to the experience, showed her how amazing it is to have more than one man get her off, and it blew up in my goddamn face.
I almost wish I hadn’t answered my phone. Then I wouldn’t know that Addison is secretly meeting up with my best friend; the one who’s been inside of her, the one who knows what she sounds like when she comes, the one who knows what it feels like to have her body squeeze him to completion.
If I hadn’t asked for proof, I wouldn’t have the image of them together burned on the backs of my eyelids. But then I also wouldn’t know that I’ve been fooling myself, thinking that what I have with Addison is enough to make us exclusive. Or as exclusive as a couple who’s enjoyed having sex with a third can be.
I knew something was up when she lied about that text message a couple of days ago. Her ringer had been on silent, but when I saw the screen light up from the corner of my eye, it was automatic to look for her. It didn’t bother me that Austin texted her. They’re friends now, and it’s not like I hold exclusive conversational rights to the guy, for fuck’s sake. No, it wasn’t that.
First, it’s that Addison changed the settings on her phone so that it only displays the contact name in the notification instead of showing the first lines of the message itself, which is how she’s always had it, same as me. But now the messages are hidden until she actively opens the app.