Blake rubbed a hand over his eyes. “This decision hasn’t been easy,” he said softly.
“I know,” she whispered in return. Dear God, her mind screamed, don’t let him leave me.
“I can’t stay, Cupcake.”
Caasi slumped into her chair, fighting to disguise the effect of his decision by squaring her shoulders and clamping her hands together in her lap. “Why?”
Blake lowered himself into the chair on the other side of her desk. “Not for the same reasons I originally resigned,” he explained.
“I see,” Caasi replied stiffly. “In other words—”
“In other words,” Blake interrupted, “things have changed between us.”
“For the better,” she inserted, not easily dissuaded. “I’ve tried so hard.”
“Too hard, Cupcake.”
Caasi couldn’t respond as the continued waves of disappointment rippled over her.
“In light of my decision, maybe it would be best if Brian Harris accompanied you tomorrow.”
Somehow, with a determined effort, Caasi managed to nod.
“My last day is Wednesday, but if you think you’d like me to stay a few more days …”
“No,” she whispered. “No,” she repeated softly, a bit more in control of her voice now. “If you’ve made your decision, then don’t prolong the inevitable.”
“You’re beginning to sound like your father again.”
“Again?” Caasi asked with a dry smile. “I’ve always sounded like Dad. Why shouldn’t I? After all, I am his daughter.”
“Caasi …” Blake sounded unsure.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a meeting to attend.” She spoke crisply and centered her gaze just past him on the seascape hanging on the wall.
The door clicked and Caasi realized that Blake had left. Taking deep breaths helped to calm her pounding heart. She was stunned, completely and totally shocked.
“Laurie.” Her hand was surprisingly steady as she held down the intercom switch. “Do I have anything pressing this morning?”
Her secretary ran down a list of appointments.
“Would you reschedule them at a more convenient time, please? I’m going out for a while.”
“Going out?” Laurie repeated disbelievingly. “But there’s the meeting with Jefferson at nine.”
“I’ll be here for that, but cancel everything else.”
“The whole day?”
“No.” Caasi pressed a hand to her forehead. She was overreacting. She had to come to grips with herself. “Just this morning.”
An hour later Caasi couldn’t have repeated one word of the meeting with Jefferson. The accountant seemed to be aware of her lack of attention and called their time short. Caasi didn’t return to her office, but went directly to the parking garage and took out her Mercedes.
The drive to the Lloyd Center was accomplished in only a matter of minutes. Leaving her car in the underground parking garage, she took the escalator to the second-floor shopping level. Standing at the rail, she looked down at the ice-skating rink situated in the middle of the huge complex.
A sad smile touched her eyes as she watched the figures circle the silvery ice. Most of the skaters were senior citizens, loving couples with their arms around each other as they skillfully glided around the rink. Thirty years from now she could picture June and Burt skating like that. Thirty years from now and she would remain an observer, standing on the outside of life—exactly as she was now.
In the mood to spend money, Caasi went from store to store, buying whatever took her fancy. She bought baby Cassi enough clothes to see her into grade school. She also bought toys, blankets, shoes—whatever attracted her attention. Caasi held up one frilly outfit after another and understood why June had wanted a baby girl.
Returning to the hotel garage, she left instructions for the packages to be taken to her quarters. The last thing she needed was for Blake to see what she’d bought and accuse her of buying herself another family.
Laurie glanced up and smiled when Caasi stepped into the outer office.
“Happy Monday,” Caasi said, and handed her secretary a small box.
“What’s this for?” Laurie pulled the gold elastic ribbon off the box.
“Just a thank-you for rearranging the day.”
Her announcement was followed by a short gasp of pleasure from Laurie. “Chocolates from How Sweet It Is. But they’re fifty dollars a pound.”
“You deserve only the best.”
For the first time in years, Laurie looked completely flustered. “Thank you, Miss Crane.”
“Thank you, Laurie,” Caasi stated sincerely.
The stack of phone messages was thick. Caasi shuffled through them and paused at the one from Dirk Evans from the International Hotel chain. He’d phoned several times in the past few years, eager to talk to her about acquiring the Empress. International was interested not only in the Portland Empress, but also in several others in California and along the Oregon coast.
She stared at the pink slip for several moments while pacing the floor. Pausing at the window, she examined her options. Her father would turn over in his grave if she were to sell. But why did she need the hotels? Why did she need any of this? Even without the hotels, she was a wealthy woman. No, the thought of unburdening herself was tempting at the moment, but the Empress was her family, the only family she’d ever known, the only family she would ever know. She couldn’t throw that away, not on a whim.
Laurie buzzed and broke into her thoughts. “Call from Edie Albright on line one.”
“Thanks, Laurie.” Caasi released one button and pushed down another. “Edie, how are you?”
“Fine.”
“You don’t sound fine. What’s wrong?”
“Freddy’s in New York and I’m bored. I don’t suppose you’d be interested in dinner with me tonight? Nothing fancy. I could come to the Empress if you’d like.”
“I would. I’m feeling down myself.” That was a gross understatement, but if she admitted as much, they’d both be crying in their salads.
“Great.” Edie cheered up immediately. “What time?”
“Any time you like.”
Edie paused. “My goodness, you’re accommodating today. I expected an argument at the very least. You don’t go out that often.”
Caasi smiled drily. “And how would you know that?”
“Honestly, Caasi, June and I are your best friends. We know you.”
“Apparently not well enough,” Caasi couldn’t resist adding. “I’ll meet you at seven in the main dining room.”
“Wonderful. You don’t know how much I appreciate this,” Edie said. “I’ve got lots to tell you. This pregnancy stuff isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Caasi replaced the receiver and stared into space a while longer. Seeing Edie that night was just what she needed. Her friend, scheming and crazy, had a refreshing way of helping her see the bright side of things. And she’d need a lot of talking to see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow as far as Blake’s leaving was concerned.
The afternoon passed in a whirl of appointments and phone calls. By six Laurie had left, and although there were several items on Caasi’s desk that needed her attention, she decided to deal with them Wednesday. The next day she’d be flying to Seaside with Brian Harris to meet with the architects. The time spent with Harris would help her become acquainted with the man. They’d be working together closely in the future, and there was no reason to delay. No reason, her mind repeated, and a curious pain attacked her heart.
Wednesday would be Blake’s last day. As she pushed the elevator button, Caasi wondered how or where she would get the courage to relinquish him as unemotionally as possible.
Her living room was filled with packages from that morning’s shopping spree. Caasi decided to ignore them until after her bath. She didn’t want to keep Edie waiting.
The bathwater was running when there was a knock on her door.
Caas
i wasn’t sure it was someone at her door until the sound was repeated. “Just a minute,” she called, and hurried to turn off the water. She was grateful that she hadn’t completely undressed. Putting on a robe, she tied the sash as she walked across the living room carpet.
“I thought I said seven in the dining room,” Caasi murmured good-naturedly as she opened the door. Her jaw must have sagged.
“Can I come in?” Blake looked at her, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he looked her over.
“I … I’m not dressed for visitors,” Caasi stammered, her heart pounding wildly.
“Get dressed, then, if it’ll make you feel more comfortable.”
Numbly, she stepped aside, swinging open the door.
“I’ll only take a minute of your time,” Blake promised with a half-smile.
“I prefer to be dressed,” she said. Naturally she was curious as to why he’d come, but she wasn’t ready to deal with him. Not tonight, not after he’d announced his decision. “If you’ll excuse me.” She turned around and nearly choked. The packages from her shopping spree covered the sofa and chair. She closed her eyes and groaned inwardly. The only thing she could do was ignore them now. If she called Blake’s attention to the parcels and boxes it would only invite comment.
She went into the bedroom and her fingers shook as she hurriedly grabbed a blouse, fumbling with the tiny buttons. Stuffing the silk tails into her skirt, she returned to the living room.
“Yes,” she said crisply. “What is it?”
Blake turned around with a slightly guilty look. “I’d say this is a little small, wouldn’t you?” He held up one of the dresses she’d purchased for June’s baby.
“It’s not for me,” she said stiffly, refusing to meet his laughing eyes.
“I’d guessed as much,” he returned seriously. “Is all this for little Cassi?”
Caasi jerked the dress out of his hands and stuffed it back into its paper sack. “That’s none of your business,” she told him. “And don’t you dare …” She paused to inhale a quivering breath. “Don’t you dare say I’m buying myself a family.”
“You are their family, Cupcake,” Blake said gently.
Caasi jerked her face up and their eyes met. His were warm and oddly indulgent. She wanted to yell at him not to look at her like that. How could he do this when only hours before he’d told her he wanted nothing more to do with her or the Empress. He was the one who wanted out, not her. Heaven knew she didn’t want him to go.
Caasi turned away. “Was there something you wanted to tell me?” she asked.
“Yes.” Blake walked to the other side of the room and ran his hand through his hair. “Harris won’t be able to go with you tomorrow. His wife is having a medical procedure. So it looks like you’re stuck with me for one last trip.”
Terrific, her mind threw out sarcastically.
Some of her thoughts must have shown in her expression. “Don’t look so pleased,” Blake chided. “We’ll be back by afternoon. I assume after all these years that we can manage to get along for a few hours.”
“Sure.” The word nearly stuck in her throat, then came out sounding scratchy and weak. “Why not?”
“You tell me,” Blake said in a low voice.
Caasi pivoted sharply and walked to her favorite place by the window. “No reason,” she said, and shrugged.
“I’ll see you in the morning, then.”
Without turning around, she answered, “It looks that way.” She stood poised, waiting for the click of the door. When it didn’t come, she turned to find Blake watching her.
“Caasi?”
“Was there something else?” she asked politely.
His searching eyes narrowed on her, and Caasi had the impression he wanted to say something more. “No.” He shook his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Fine.”
Edie was already seated in the dining room when Caasi arrived. Caasi returned her small wave as she entered the room.
“You look positively …” Edie paused and sighed longingly. “Skinny.”
Caasi laughed. “You always did have a silver tongue.”
“The only reason I’m so candid is that for every ounce you’ve lost, I’ve gained three.” Elbows on the table, Edie leaned forward. “I’m telling you, Caasi, I’m going crazy.”
“What’s wrong?” Edie had always been the dramatic one, so Caasi wasn’t overly concerned.
“Well, for one thing, I can’t stop eating peanut butter. I woke up at two this morning and ate it straight out of the jar. Freddy couldn’t believe it, and for that matter, neither could I.”
“At least peanut butter is a high source of protein.”
Edie groaned and closed her eyes. “That’s what Freddy keeps telling me.”
“Why the worry?”
“My dear Caasi, have you any idea how fattening peanut butter is?”
“I haven’t checked out any calorie counters lately,” Caasi responded, and fought to hide the smile that teased the corners of her mouth.
“Well, it’s fattening, believe me. The shocking thing is I’ve hated the stuff since I was a kid.”
“There are worse things.” Caasi attempted to soothe a few of Edie’s doubts.
“Okay,” Edie agreed, and took a sip from her virgin cocktail. “Listen to this. I was watching the Blazers play basketball the other night. The center missed two free throws at the foul line and all of a sudden tears welled in my eyes and I started crying. Not just a few silent tears, but gigantic sobs. Freddy didn’t know what to think. He was finishing up a report in his den and came rushing in. I’m sure he thought the telecast had been interrupted and someone had just announced that my mother had died or something.”
The small laugh could no longer be contained. “Listen, Edie, I’m no expert on the subject, but isn’t this all part of being pregnant?”
“I certainly hope so,” Edie said fervently.
“Have you talked to June? She’d probably be more help than me.”
“June,” Edie repeated, and shook her head dramatically. “You know June; she’s the salt of the earth. The entire time she was pregnant she acted as if she was in heaven. June’s the kind of woman who would deliver her baby and go back to work in the fields an hour later. I’m going to need six months’ rest on the Riviera to recover.”
The maître d’ handed them the menu and gave Caasi a polite nod of recognition.
Edie opened the menu, took one look, moaned, and folded it closed.
“What’s the matter?” Caasi asked.
“I was afraid this would happen. Everything looks divine. I want the first four entrées and chocolate mousse for dessert.”
“Edie!” Caasi couldn’t prevent her small gasp of shock. Of the three, Edie had always been the most weight-conscious.
“I can’t help it,” Edie hissed.
“If you eat that much, I’ll get sick.”
“All right, all right,” Edie said, “you choose for me. I don’t trust myself.”
The waiter took their order and filled their water glasses.
“Enough about me.” Edie took a sip of the water. “I want to hear what’s been going on in your life. I don’t suppose you’ve picked up any tall, dark, handsome men lately, have you?”
Caasi shrugged and looked away uncomfortably. “Not recently. You know I went into the delivery room with June and Burt, don’t you?”
“Don’t tell me a thing about it. I don’t want to hear.” Edie shook her head and squinted her eyes closed.
“It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life,” Caasi reminisced softly.
“Sure—it wasn’t you going through all that pain.”
Caasi didn’t bother to try to explain. Edie wouldn’t understand. At least, not until her own baby was delivered.
“Have you had any thoughts about what I was saying the last time we were together?” At Caasi’s blank look, Edie continued, “You know, about having an affair and maybe gettin
g pregnant yourself?”
Caasi nearly choked on her wine. “Edie, I wish you wouldn’t talk like that.”
“Maybe not, but it’s what you need. I bet you’ve lost five pounds since the last time I saw you. Believe me when I tell you a man can do wonders.”
“Maybe,” Caasi conceded, feeling the color seep up her neck.
“I take it that it didn’t work out with the hunk you met here the last time?”
Caasi’s hands surrounded her glass of wine. She felt the cold move up her arm and stop directly at her heart. “No. It didn’t work out.”
“It was only your first try, so don’t let it discourage you. Would you like me to pick out someone else?”
“No,” Caasi returned forcefully. “I’m perfectly capable of finding a man myself. If I want one.”
“ ‘If’?”
Their dinner arrived, and thankfully Caasi was able to steer the conversation from Edie’s questions to the light banter they normally enjoyed.
After their dinner they decided to visit the lounge. The same piano player was at the keyboard and a fresh crowd was gathered around the bar.
The cocktail waitress brought Caasi a drink and Edie cranberry juice. They sat listening to the mellow sounds of a love song.
“Hey,” Edie whispered excitedly. “Don’t turn around now, but guess who just came in!”
“Who? The Easter Bunny?”
“No,” Edie remarked seriously. Her eyes didn’t waver. “Mr. Incredible.”
“Who?” Caasi whispered.
“The same guy who was here the other night. You remember—you’ve got to,” Edie admonished, her voice dipping incredulously.
Caasi moved her chair so that she could look at the newcomer. She didn’t need a second guess to know it was Blake.
Edie’s eyes widened appreciatively. “He really is something, isn’t he?”
“If you go for that type,” Caasi replied with a flippancy she wasn’t feeling.
“Did you notice how every woman here perked up the minute he walked in?”
Caasi certainly had. Her stomach felt as if a hole was being seared through it. The burning sensation intensified when a tall, attractive blonde slid onto the empty stool beside Blake. Caasi’s eyes narrowed as the woman leaned close and whispered something to Blake.