We fucked and sucked all night long, and the only light was the damn glow stick. The things that man could do with his mouth and dick were incredible. I was ready for any and everything after that. To prove my point, I showed up at work the next morning and showed out.
I located Broomhilda going off on Gerald, the midget elf and my buddy since we’d been chilling with each other at the Santa Claus booth.
“You little runt,” she was spewing at him. “I’ve told you twenty times that you’re not getting a penny for overtime.”
“But how can you expect me to work such long hours and not get paid for it?” he protested. “I have mouths to feed.”
“Isn’t your wife a Lilliputian, too? Aren’t your kids Lilliputians? That means you have little mouths to feed.” She laughed, even though Gerald was visibly hurt. “Now get back to work. You’re on my time.”
“Hey, Broomhilda!” I yelled out angrily.
She turned and looked at me. “Who the hell are you calling Broomhilda?”
“Who the hell am I looking at?”
“How dare you? You’re fired!”
It was my turn to laugh. “You can’t fire me, because I quit! I was trying to hang in here for a while, hoping things would get better or that you’d get some inoperable disease and drop dead, but I see that’s not going to happen.”
I went over and placed my hand on Gerald’s shoulder. I spotted Felix coming toward us from the corner of my eye. He had stopped off at his place to get a fresh set of clothing. He had his Santa suit in a garment bag looped over his shoulder.
“Gerald, are you okay?” I asked compassionately.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” He said it convincingly, but I knew he was lying. “I just can’t keep working overtime for no money.”
“Then don’t. In fact, I’m going above this bitch’s head and calling the parent company to lodge a formal complaint.”
“Who the hell are you calling a bitch?”
I leered at her and replied, “You, bitch!”
“What’s going on here?” Felix asked when he got closer.
“Nothing,” we all replied in unison.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
Broomhilda and I just glared at each other for a moment. Then the shit was on. Even if I ended up in jail for a night or two, it was worth it when I saw the expression on her face after I punched her dead in the nose.
She screamed and attacked, and before I knew it, we were tussling on the floor. Gerald jumped on the witch’s back and started trying to choke her while Felix tried to pull me off her. Customers started arriving as security unlocked the doors. It was a Saturday morning, so an immediate crowd gathered around us.
The two security guards on duty didn’t flinch. They were probably glad to see her taking a beatdown. Felix finally managed to get me loose, but not before I landed a swift kick smack dab in her pussy. She buckled over in pain as Gerald continued trying to choke her. Luckily for her, his hands were too tiny to get a good enough grip.
Felix pulled me into the management office and slammed the door. “Are you crazy? You could go to jail?”
“So what?” I responded, hyped up with adrenaline. “She deserved it.”
I lifted one of the mini-blinds so I could see out of the glass door. Gerald and Broomhilda were still at it, while little kids guffawed and their parents looked on in disbelief. No one made a move to stop it, though. Free entertainment is free entertainment.
I locked the door and turned to Felix. “You know, I got fired.” I yanked his garment bag from him and tossed it on the floor. “You know what that means?”
He grinned. “That you’ll be looking for a new job.” He smirked. “I guess I will be also. Even though the Santa gig is almost over, I’m not trying to be around here in any capacity.”
“Good. Then you don’t mind indulging in a little risky behavior with me.”
“What kind of risky behavior?” he asked, already knowing the deal.
I slid out of my dress. “For starters, how about fucking me right here on Broomhilda’s desk while Gerald is beating the shit out of her.”
We both fell out laughing.
I went over to her desk and motioned him over with my index finger.
Felix came over, flipped me around, and bent me over. “Assume the position.”
As he yanked my panties off, I replied, “Position assumed.”
Funny How Things Change
* * *
If you are like most people, you have regrets. I know I do. I have tons of them. If I had a dollar for every single thing I would have, could have, and should have done, I would be sitting on top of the world like Brandy and Mase.
Throughout college and the years it took to establish my medical practice, there was one thing I regretted the most; not hooking up with Jerome Stinson in high school. I know it sounds foolish, pining for someone for more than a decade. Fifteen years, to be exact.
The funny part is that I could have had him easily. Back then, I was the most popular girl in school. Voted most likely to succeed, homecoming queen, captain of the cheerleading squad; you know the one. Boys were literally falling at my feet, begging me for dates. Jerome was no exception. He was just against the rules.
What rules, you ask? I’ll tell you what rules. The unwritten rules of popularity. Rule number one: never associate with, rather less date, geeks. While Jerome was student body president, he was still a big-time geek—high-water pants, vinyl pocket protectors, thick eyeglasses. The only reason he won the election in the first place was because all the popular people were standing in line that morning trying to get tickets for Prince and The Time.
Back to the rules. Rule number two: never associate with people riding the poverty line. Jerome was on the free lunch program, and you could tell his clothes came from thrift stores or even worse, Kmart.
Yes, I was shallow back then, real shallow, but it just couldn’t be helped. I was a victim of my environment. All of my friends were shallow and stupid is as stupid does.
Rule number three: never date a boy without a car. Correction: never date a boy without a sports car. Jerome did have a car, but it was a hoopty. When he used to pull up in the school parking lot, people covered their mouths or ran for cover before his exhaust fumes knocked them the hell out. To this day, I have no idea what kind of car he had. It was just plain ole ugly. Three or four different colors of paint. Mismatched tires. A vinyl convertible top that looked like Freddy Kruger had done a slash job on it with his steel nails in Nightmare on Elm Street, Part CXII. Did they make enough of those bad boys or what?
Speaking of slasher films, it was during a showing of Halloween II that I realized Jerome wasn’t half as bad as I originally assumed. I was there with Kyle Johnson, every girl’s fantasy and my nightmare. Let’s just say that Kyle talked a good game but didn’t practice what he preached. He was always trying to edumacate the brothers. The fool couldn’t even pronounce the word right, rather less actually do it. Nevertheless, he considered himself a man’s man, and I was his prize trophy.
Kyle had it all—a candy-apple-red Corvette, a walk-in closet full of designer clothes, and he lived in the finest neighborhood in town. He was my ideal mate, socially speaking.
I simply could not stand his stepmother, though. She had “gold digger” embedded in her forehead. All the expensive clothing in the world couldn’t make up for the fact that she was nothing but a tacky bimbo underneath all the silk and makeup.
I always had my suspicions that she was trying to hook up with Kyle behind his father’s back, which was just plain old skank. That’s not all too surprising, if all of the rumors about her were true.
I heard it from a very reliable source, my own mother, who heard it from her hairdresser, who heard it from her baby’s daddy’s cousin, that Kyle’s stepmother used to be a stripper, a rump shaker, a paid hoochie momma. They say she’s a legend at all the booty clubs on Light Street. Her stage name was Lickem Low. Without her makeup, she looked
like she’d been licking on an ugly stick.
Anyway, Kyle and I were there at the movies that night along with my best friend Darlene and her flavor-of-the-month, Richard. I’m not going to call Darlene a whore, so let’s just say she loved her some sex, and variety was extremely important to her.
We were sitting all the way in the back, which I always hated because I’m nearsighted. Kyle always insisted we sit in the rear so we could make out, and that night was no exception. Kyle was tipsy from a six-pack of beer he split with Richard earlier that evening, and his hands were all over me. He was roughly palming my breasts, and that was bad enough. When he tried to push my panties aside and finger me, I couldn’t take it one more second.
I told Kyle I had to go to the bathroom but took it a step further. I lied and told him I had to take a dump, hoping the mere thought of it would make him keep his fingers to himself once I got back. Truth be known, I didn’t have to go to the bathroom at all.
Instead, I went out into the lobby so I could check out posters of upcoming flicks. I’ve always had a thing for movie posters, and over the years, I’ve accumulated quite a collection of posters from black exploitation films. After killing about ten minutes, which I deemed an appropriate time limit to be away taking a dump, I decided to grab a pack of Twizzlers from the concession stand. Darlene swore up and down that a Twizzler a day curbed your appetite. Personally, I think she read that in one of the numerous women’s magazines she subscribed to and bought into the idea so much that her psyche actually believed it. I decided what the hell and purchased a pack.
I was on my way back in when I bumped into Jerome. Now Jerome had appeared many ways to me over the years, but he had never appeared fine. Not until that very second. There was something different about him. He had a fresh haircut, his clothes were neatly ironed and fitting every curve of his body just right, and he flashed this wonderful set of teeth at me.
“Hello, Salina, you look very nice tonight,” he said, throwing me a nice compliment.
“Thanks. So do you.”
He lowered his eyes to the floor. He was so shy. “Thanks. Are you here with someone?”
I rolled my eyes and smacked me lips. “Unfortunately, I’m here with Kyle.”
“Why is that unfortunate? I thought you two were extremely tight.”
“No, not really.” I opened my Twizzlers and took a bite. “Kyle and I are having some problems right about now, but it’s all good.”
“Well, have a good evening,” Jerome said, moving from my path so I could get back inside.
“You, too.”
That was the extent of our conversation that night, but it was the beginning of my long-ass wait to hook up with him again. Like I said earlier, I went through college and medical school, and I was still wondering what Jerome was like in the sack. It was insane, but I could not get that man out of my mind.
I often asked about him, but I had to do it in a slick manner. For all I knew, he was still considered a nerd and might have been collecting garbage or something. Most people didn’t even remember him, and the few that did could only tell me that he had moved away.
Ironically, I was nowhere near our hometown when I ran into Jerome again. I was in Honolulu, Hawaii, of all places. I had decided to take advantage of some frequent-flyer miles and a reduced rate at a hotel. The season was easing into fall, and I had not had a vacation in more than two years, since I was determined to become the top cardiologist in Cleveland.
I took the trip along with one of my old roommates from college. Fiona was a teacher in New Jersey and needed a break before school started up and she had to once again deal with the madness that a roomful of eight-year-olds could create.
We arrived on a Thursday night, checked in to our lovely hotel, and then explored the beach in the moonlight. It was okay, but it would have been romantic if there had been some men with us. Fiona and I had a lot in common, including being recently divorced. Her marriage had lasted a good eight years, while mine lasted a good eight months.
I married Harris on a whim, a bad whim, and lived to quickly regret it. He was nothing I had imagined, and I guess the same stood true in regards to his expectations of me. I was overly ambitious, and he had no ambitions at all. He liked to lie around the house on the weekends doing absolutely nothing, and I loved to hang out in museums and check out the latest movies. I am a popcorn fanatic, and the movie theater nearest to my home was one of the few that still popped it fresh.
Anyway, Harris and I came to an agreement to just part ways because neither one of us had time to waste. Fiona’s man had cheated on her in a major way. She was bitter and didn’t give a damn who knew it. In fact, when she suggested the trip, she told me straight up that she was going over there to find a man to fuck. She meant business, because she found her some dick action the very first night we got there, and I barely laid eyes on her for the rest of the trip.
It was the third day of our adventure when I ran into Jerome. He was coming out of a local marketplace with a stack of island shirts over his shoulder.
“Oh, my God! Is that you, Jerome?” I asked in disbelief.
He looked just as stunned as he tried to place me. “Salina, wow, is it really you?”
“In the flesh.”
He eyed the lime green bikini I had on and commented, “Nice flesh.”
I couldn’t help but blush. “I can’t believe I ran into you after all these years. I’ve been asking around about you.”
He seemed really shocked then. “Really? You were looking for me or something?”
He’s fine as shit, I thought to myself. “Yes, kind of. I was just wondering what happened to you. I haven’t seen you since high school.”
“Actually, I’ve been here in Hawaii since high school.”
“Here in Hawaii?”
“Yes. It was always a dream of mine to come here. I came for a visit, and I stayed.”
“That’s major.”I licked my lips without even thinking about it. It’s a habit of mine when I get horny. “So what do you do here?”
He pointed behind him to the market. “Believe it or not, I run a stand here in the market. It will never make me rich, but it pays the bills.”
“Well, making bills is all that really matters.”
“What do you do?”
“I’m a cardiologist in Cleveland.”
He laughed. “I guess you don’t have any problems making your bills.”
“No, just making time to enjoy life. Unless you’re enjoying the ride, what’s it all for?”
“This much is true.”
Jerome and I stood there grinning at each other for a good two minutes in silence after that. I think we were both at a loss for words. Then he approached what was obviously on his mind.
“So, Salina, are you here with someone? Your husband, perhaps?”
“I’m no longer married, but I am here with someone.” He looked utterly disappointed until I added, “My friend Fiona is with me, but she’s locked away in her hotel room with a man she just met two days ago.”
“Aw, I see.” He sighed in relief. “She’s making the most of her vacation, huh?”
“I guess so. Are you single?”
“Absolutely,” he replied, grinning from ear to ear. “Well, since you’re going solo right now, how about I show you around the island?”
I blushed, thinking it was about damn time he asked. “That would be great. I need to go back to the hotel and freshen up, but I can meet you back here in about an hour.”
“Sounds good.”
I rushed back to the hotel, but it really seemed like I was floating on air. I had a date with Jerome; a date that was years in the making. I had no idea where we were going, but I was determined to make it the best date of my life.
When I got back to the market, he was closing up shop, and what a cute little shop it was. He had island clothing, shot glasses, leis, dolls, and just about anything else a tourist could possibly want to get their hands on during a visit.
br /> “Jerome, this place is really nice.” I sat down in a straw chair and waited for him to finish securing everything for the night. “What made you decide to stay here?”
“The peacefulness. When we were growing up, I didn’t have many friends, but you know that already. My parents and I were never close, so it wasn’t like I was leaving anything of importance behind.” He took my hand and pulled me up. “Ready?”
“Yes. Where are we going?”
“To a special place.”
“A special place?”
“Yes, I want everything about tonight to be special.”
I blushed as we walked along the beach. Jerome suddenly stopped and pulled me into him. “Salina, can I be honest with you about something?”
I gazed into his eyes. “Sure, you can tell me whatever you like.”
“I used to be so in love with you in high school. You were the end-all and be-all to me, but you never gave me the time of day. Except for once.”
I knew what he was talking about but played dumb. “Once?”
“That night at the movies when we bumped into each other. For a brief moment, I felt close to you, and then you were gone. You probably don’t even remember.”
“Yes, I do remember,” I blurted out. “I felt something for that brief moment also, and I’ve felt it ever since.”
Jerome kissed me, and it was all that I had imagined it would be over the years. He was gentle yet strong, and he handled me tenderly in his arms. We made out on the beach for a little while and started walking again. We ended up at a luau, and it was much fun.
I wasn’t too crazy about the roasting pig. It didn’t look appetizing at all, and it reminded me of the pig pickings my grandparents used to have in North Carolina. I did learn how to hula dance as Jerome looked on and tried to suppress his laughter. Those Hawaiian chicks were cut, and I felt inferior as they worked their hips in the straw skirts.
I had several drinks, and I’m not even sure what the names of any of them were. I know I had quite a mixture. I was so tore up that Jerome had to give me a piggyback ride all the way back to my room, which was really more of a bungalow. Housekeeping had left a fresh plate of fruit on the nightstand, their equivalent of mints on the pillow. The bungalow had an ocean view, and he opened the wicker doors so we could see the waves from the bed. Yes, the bed.