I unbutton my dress and pull it down off my shoulders, one at a time, until it is hanging around my waist, revealing my white lace bra. I let the dress fall all the way to the floor and kick it to the side, leaving me standing there looking like Old Mother Hubbard on ginseng.
You start snapping photos, saying, “Baby, we have got to put these in the family scrapbook for the kids!” We both start giggling while I reach behind my back, unsnap my bra, and let it ease down, allowing my erect nipples to break loose.
I walk over to you, spread my legs, and start gyrating my bloomers in your face, tits bouncing up and down. You grab one of my legs, put it on your shoulder, and then bite my thigh through the fishnet stockings, causing me to shriek out, “Ooh, Big Daddy, what a big appetite you have!”
You pull me down on the floor, flipping me back on the pillows by the fire, climb on top of me, and take one nipple in your mouth, grabbing it between your teeth and tugging gently on it. Then you say, “My turn! Time for Santa to give you what the elves made for you. Have you been naughty or nice?”
I yell out, “NAUGHTY!” as you jump to your feet in the Santa costume and start break dancing and unbuckling the wide-ass black patent-leather belt around your artificial tummy.
You throw the belt at me and start taking off the furry jacket, exposing the red pants held up by suspenders, over the white undershirt stuffed with a pillow. I sit up in the Indian position, start jiggling my tits to the rhythm, and egg you on—“Go Big Poppi, Go Big Poppi, Go!”
I grab the camera and start taking pics of you while you take the suspender straps down and pull off the undershirt, letting the round pillow fall to the carpet. Times like this make me realize why I married you. You are always down to act silly with me, and that’s why you will make such a great daddy one day.
You take off the stuffed pants, stepping out of them, leaving nothing on you but your black military boots, beard, wig, hat, eyeglasses, and boxer shorts that say “Ho-Ho-Ho” on them. You look so sexy, baby!
You turn the Ebonics CD off and switch it to some slow jams. Now there are songs we used to listen to in high school when we first fell in love, like “Fire and Desire” by Rick James and Teena Marie—back in the days we used to dedicate love songs to each other on the radio. We fell asleep at night talking to each other on the phone, sat in class all day staring at each other across the room, getting caught by the teacher as we passed love notes from each other back and forth. We carved our names inside hearts that said “2gether 4eva” on just about every oak tree in between your house and mine.
Now, in our home, I lie back on the pillows and wait for you to join me. You grab the basket of candy canes sitting by the front door on your way and sit down beside me. What a trip, looking at you with the wig and beard on. I am sure you feel the same, looking at me with a wig and bonnet on.
You lie on top of me and start kissing me as you remove the hat and wig from my head, allowing my long, thick, shiny hair to freely flow. The fiber from your beard starts to get caught in my mouth, so I pull it down around your chin, take your hat and wig off, and then straddle my legs around your back, pulling your hard dick closer in to me. I feel your dick pulsating against my excited clit through the material of your boxers and my bloomers.
We kiss for the length of two slow songs. You have always been so passionate and such a great kisser; you make me melt. You take the stein of eggnog, which is almost empty, and pour the remainder on my breasts. I begin to moan as you lick all the eggnog off my breasts, trying to catch every drop before it hits the floor.
I run my fingertips down your spine while you suckle on my nipples like a baby. You sit up for a moment and pull off my ugly-ass pilgrim shoes and then pull my bloomers down along with the fishnets until they are completely off. My freshly shaven pussy greets you, moist from the stimulation your hands and mouth have brought the rest of my body.
While you are on your knees, I sit up and pull down your boxers, helping you get them off. I pull the beard, which is still hanging on your chin, up and over your head and toss it aside, accidentally flinging it into the fireplace. You try to catch it, but it goes up in flames in a matter of seconds, and we break out in laughter.
Our eyes meet, and all the love we feel overwhelms us, both of us knowing what lies ahead. You reach over and pull a big candy cane out of the basket and stick the long part into my mouth. I take it in, deep-throating it like it is your dick, and place my hands on top of your hand, holding it as you push it in and out.
Once the candy cane is nice and sticky, you pull it out of my mouth, use your other hand to spread open the lips of my pussy, and then slowly glide it in. I start contracting my pussy muscles on it each time you stick it all the way in, leaving only the curved part sticking out. You start sucking my breasts again. I hold one for you, squeezing it so it is even more prominent, while you continue to fuck me with the candy cane.
You take the candy cane out and then lick it, tasting the mixture of the mint with my pussy juice. You utter, “Ummmm! Dayum delicious!”
You hold it up to my mouth, saying, “Taste how delicious you are.” I comply by licking around the cane with the tip of my tongue, tasting my own nectar. I know how much it turns you on to see me taste myself, and your dick, which was previously just hard, turns rock hard like a battering ram.
I tell you to lie down, and then I climb on top of you, placing my pussy smack on your face as my mouth makes its way toward your beautiful dick. My mouth is still sticky from the candy, and as I suckle on the head of your dick, it mixes with the precum oozing out of it.
I feel your tongue flickering in and out of my pussy while I start licking around the shaft of your dick, grabbing hold of the base so it doesn’t escape the spectrum of my tongue. I move your dick aside so I can lick your balls as you begin to shiver and moan because it is such a sensitive area.
I begin to wax your entire dick with my mouth while you part my ass cheeks and insert a single finger, which makes me flinch as you continue to suck on my sweet clit. Cum starts to trickle down my inner thighs onto your cheeks, and a drop or two even makes its way into your ear canals.
Your dick overflows my mouth, and saliva starts to trickle out the corners of my thick, juicy lips. Whenever I am sucking your dick, I feel the most close to you. It is like I am sucking the life out of you, and there is something so erotic about it.
You cum inside my mouth, and the heated substance, candyflavored because of the candy cane on my tongue, makes a warm lining in my belly. You start pushing your finger into my ass faster and faster, pulling my pussy deeper onto your tongue until I cum also, leaving you with a smile on your glazed face.
You wanna go upstairs, but I tell you I wanna make a quick stop in the kitchen. Once we are in the kitchen, I tell you to sit on the tabletop. I go over to the counter and get one of the decorating tubes full of homemade frosting I used to make the gingerbread men. I push you back onto the table, climb on top of you, and then start squeezing the red frosting onto your chest, making a design on it. I make your nipples look like eyes, squeeze a line down the center of your chest, forming it like a nose, and make your belly button look like a mouth.
Carefully, I lick all the frosting off you. You say the words you always say to me during lovemaking, “You are so crazy, baby! But I love your crazy ass!”
“I love you, too, baby!” I tell you with a mouth covered with red frosting. I kiss you, and you lick some of the frosting off. Then I go back to the task at hand until I have licked every inkling of it off.
Then you say, “I wanna do you, too, but you know what I want to decorate.”
I snicker, ’cause I know, right off the bat, you mean my ass.
I climb off you, you get up from the table, go get the tube of green frosting, and tell me, “Stand still!”
As you take a seat in one of the chairs at the square table, I get in the doggy-style position so my ass is all in your face. You start to decorate my ass like a face as well, and you even pu
t a fancy hairdo on it. After you decide it looks enough like a van Gogh, you eat it all up while I absorb every second of the pleasure it brings.
We hear a noise, a whimper, and both of us turn our heads to see our dog, Subzero, standing in the kitchen doorway with his head bent to one side in curiosity, wondering what freaky shit his owners are up to this time. You throw him a gingerbread cookie and tell him to get. He catches it in his mouth and heads back to his cozy corner to snack on his treasure.
You sweep me up into your arms and almost break out in a run carrying me up the staircase, taking two steps at a time. You take me in our bedroom, toss me on the bed, and shut our door so Subzero won’t make any more sudden appearances.
The bedroom is dark, and the only light is coming from the electric candles held by the animated miniature black Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus dolls. There is one in each of the bedroom windows, so passersby can see them waving as they drive down the street.
There is a single piece of mistletoe hanging in the center of our headboard, and the bed is covered with the homemade quilt we purchased from the Amish on a recent weekend getaway in Pennsylvania. It is there, on the quilt, we make our own beautiful music together before falling asleep in each other’s arms.
Remember I Love You Always
* * *
June 1985
Saying good-bye to him was going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do. To go away for such a long time—fifteen years. But when you break the law, someone has to pay. There is a consequence for every action, and armed robbery carries an extremely heavy consequence.
I had him meet me in our private place—the first place we had ever made love. There was no way the police could know about it. No one knew about it but the two of us. It was a little cabin on the side of the river. The mosquitoes in Alabama are eight inches long in the summer, and they were seriously attacking that night as I waited for him on the front porch.
The cabin had long been abandoned. The man who owned it had died in his sleep more than a decade earlier. He had no next of kin, and since the property was basically worthless, no one had bothered to do anything with it. The world had long since forgotten it even existed. Only Jesse and I visited it from time to time.
I saw some headlights approaching and ducked, just to be on the safe side. I wanted to make sure it was Jesse before I exposed myself. I didn’t recognize the raggedy Oldsmobile that pulled up, so I continued to hide in the shadows. Then I saw Jesse get out of the driver’s side. I could see the worry on his face, even in the darkness.
He cut the lights and called out to me. “Susan, are you there?”
“Yes,” I responded half in a whisper. “I’m over here on the porch.”
Jesse ascended the creaky steps and took me in his arms. “I’ve been so worried about you. Are you okay?”
“As much as I can be. Tomorrow’s the big day, and I’m not sure I can handle it.”
“I know I can’t handle it,” he said despondently. “Fifteen long-ass years.”
“Seems like forever.”
“And it will feel like forever.”
I stood on my toes and kissed him on the lips softly. “At least we still have tonight.”
“Yes, at least we have tonight.”
Jesse rubbed my shoulders. “Are the mosquitoes biting you?”
“In the worst way.”
He opened the always unlocked door of the cabin and pulled me inside. “Let’s get you safe.”
“Nothing can keep me safe after tonight.”
Jesse used some matches to light the two hurricane lights on each side of the cabin. “Susan, I’d prefer if we just didn’t talk about tomorrow. It’s going to come soon enough, and there’s nothing either one of us can do about it.”
“That’s true,” I conceded. “You’re right. Let’s just not talk about it.”
“Oh, shit! Are you hungry, baby? I should’ve bought you something to eat on my way up.”
“I’m fine. I haven’t had an appetite for days. Food is the furthest thing from my mind.”
Jesse came closer to me and embraced me once again. “So what is on your mind?”
“Other than what’s going to happen when the sun comes up?”
“Yes, other than that.”
“Making love to you one last time. We’ve loved each other so long, Jesse. Things are just not going to be the same once we’re apart.”
He forced a smile, but it didn’t relax me one bit. “We’ll still see each other often. They have visiting hours, you know?”
“It won’t be the same, Jesse!” I yelled out in desperation. “We won’t be able to touch, and I need to feel your touch. I need to feel your touch all the time.”
He caressed my cheek and kissed my forehead. “So imagine that I’m touching you. Imagine that I’m always around, always there for you. Just close your eyes and feel me. Feel my hands all over your body. Feel me inside you. Feel my love surrounding you.” He lifted my chin so I had to look into his eyes. “Will you try to do that for me?”
“I can try. Just not sure it’s going to work.”
“It will work. Trust me. Have I ever lied to you, Susan? Ever?”
“No.”
“And I’m not about to begin lying to you now.”
Suddenly the tears began to fall from my eyes. “Jesse, just promise me one thing.”
“What’s that, baby?”
“That fifteen years from now, when those gates open up, we’ll be together again.”
“I promise you that, Susan. I promise.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I love you, Jesse. Remember I love you always.”
“You remember the same.”
Jesse dried my tears with his shirt and lifted me up so that my legs straddled his waist. He danced with me in his arms to imaginary music and hummed our favorite slow song. We twirled around and around until we ended up over by the ancient iron bed. Jesse put me down, and the bedsprings began to creak.
I laid my head on the dusty pillow that made up the bed along with an old patchwork quilt. Jesse lay down beside me.
“I wonder what the man who used to live here was like,” I said aloud.
“I don’t know. I never knew him. He kept pretty much to himself, from what I hear.”
“I wonder who he loved. If he ever loved—and if anyone ever loved him back.”
Jesse sighed. “I’m not sure, but I guess he was alone when he died. No one claimed any of his property; not even this house.”
“Thank goodness for that, because this house holds so many special memories for us.”
Jesse and I faced each other on the bed and became lost in each other’s eyes.
“Susan?”
“Yes, baby?”
“I want you to have my baby.”
I was stunned. A baby! “Jesse, you know that’s something I’ve always wanted, but under these circumstances, it doesn’t make sense. A child should have both parents, and that can’t happen.”
Jesse looked so sad. Then a grin spread across his face. “Will you still be able to birth babies in fifteen years?”
I giggled. “Hmm, I guess so. I’m twenty-six now, so that would make me forty-one, and I’ve heard of women that old having babies.”
The despair returned to his face. “Forty-one. God, that seems like forever.”
I lifted the bottom of his shirt and rubbed his flat, muscular stomach. “Let’s just make love like there’s no tomorrow, because there really isn’t a tomorrow for us.”
Jesse leaned over and kissed me passionately. I took his hand and placed it between my legs. I wanted him to feel how hot I was for him. How much I needed to be with him just one last time.
Within minutes of intense foreplay, we were both naked and rolling around on the bed like wild animals. Jesse entered me, and I cried. Not because it hurt, but because I knew it was the last time I would likely feel him inside me. Fifteen years was a long time, and there was no guarantee both of us would live to see
the day.
I grabbed onto his ass cheeks as he worked his dick around inside my love canal. It was more intense than ever, and I wanted to make it last forever. I sucked on his earlobe as he came the first time. I was already ahead of him by three. Cum was all over the quilt, and most of it was mine.
Jesse turned me over and entered me from behind. I grabbed the headboard and let him enjoy the ride. He started moving in and out of me more vigorously, and I could feel his balls slapping up against my ass. It was heaven.
He grabbed my hair and pulled my pussy back deeper onto his dick.
“Susan, I hope a miracle happens tonight,” Jesse whispered in my ear. “I hope something changes.”
“Jesse, please.” I gripped my pussy muscles as tight as I could onto him. The tears began again. This man truly loved me, and soon I would be without him. “Please don’t mention tomorrow again.”
We made love until Jesse fell asleep. I couldn’t sleep if my life depended on it. I was too afraid that the police would find us somehow.
I got up from the bed and did something I had never even thought about doing in all the years we had been coming there. I went over to the old rickety dresser and opened the top drawer. For some reason, I felt like I needed to know something about the man who had lived there—the man who made the old cabin his home.
There was not much worth interest in the drawer. Some dingy clothing, an old pocketknife, and some Tiger Balm for aches and pains. I was about to close the drawer when something got stuck. I reached underneath the drawer and realized something was taped to it. It was tough, but I managed to rip it off.
There was a plastic bag surrounded by duct tape. I removed the tape and discovered a stack of old photographs inside the bag. There was a young black man in every single photo. They were taken in different years, but you could easily tell they were all of the same person. There was a picture of him as a baby bouncing on a woman’s lap. There was a picture of him as a young lad standing beside a man holding a hunting rifle. I figured those were pictures of him and his parents. Then there were pictures of him as a teenager with a teenage girl. She was very pretty and looked like she was full of life and hope for the future. The last picture was of the same couple standing in front of the cabin, which looked recently built. They had on wedding rings and were caught up in a tight embrace.