Sitting with his legs folded in front of him, Brand nodded. He thought Erin meant to hand it to him, but instead she leaned forward to feed him personally. Her eyes were locked with his. A second slice followed the first, but when the juice flowed from the edge of his mouth she bent toward him and licked it away.
When her tongue scraped the side of his lips, Brand’s heart went still. She offered him another slice, but he took it from her fingers and fed it to her. He watched as she chewed and swallowed, and then he leaned forward to kiss her. She tasted of orange and woman. He deepened the kiss and was gratified when she opened up to him in excited welcome. His tongue swept her mouth in slow, even strokes, conquering as it plundered.
Erin looped her arms around his neck and melted in his arms. “I promised myself this wouldn’t happen.”
“And now that it has?” He angled his head to one side and dropped a series of long, slow kisses on her neck, working his way under her chin and to her ear. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No.”
The satisfaction that one word gave him was worth a thousand from anyone else. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Why?” How afraid she sounded.
His mouth hovered a scant inch from hers. “Because there are other places I want to kiss you, and I don’t think you’d appreciate me doing so in public.”
His lips inched back to hers in breath-stealing increments. The closer his mouth edged toward hers, the choppier her breath became.
“Brand…I don’t think this is such a good—”
He silenced any protest with a hot, need-filled kiss. She welcomed his tongue, and was panting by the time he dragged his mouth from hers.
“Come on,” he said, vaulting to his feet. He reached for her hand, pulling her upright. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Where…will we go?”
“Your place.”
“Brand…I don’t know.”
He turned and planted his hands squarely on her shoulders, his eyes refusing to release hers. “I’m not going to make love to you, yet. That’s a promise. We need to talk, and when we do, I want it to be in private.”
She might have had objections to the high-handed manner in which he was issuing orders, but she didn’t voice any. Nor did she speak while he drove to her house in West Seattle, although the ride took nearly thirty minutes. The only words she did manage were to relay her address and give directions once he was in the vicinity.
It wasn’t until he helped her out of the car that she did chance a look in his direction. Brand had to smile. Her eyes seemed so round and wide, an aircraft carrier could have sailed through them.
“He said yet, you idiot.” She repeated the sentence two or three times once they were inside the house. Brand found it amusing the way she talked to herself. Without telling him what she was doing, she walked, as if in a daze, into the kitchen and started assembling a pot of coffee.
Brand hadn’t a clue what she was mumbling about. He wasn’t interested in coffee, either, but since she hadn’t asked him, he didn’t say so.
“There’s something you should know,” he began. Then he changed his mind. This wasn’t the time. He needed to taste her again.
“What?” She sounded as though she were coming out of a coma.
“Come here first.”
She walked over to him as though she were sleepwalking, her steps sluggish and her look disoriented.
“Kiss me first,” Brand whispered, “then I’ll tell you.”
As if she were in a stupor, she planted her hands on his chest, then stood on tiptoe and brushed her lips lightly over his. Unable to hold himself back any longer, Brand wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close and buried his face in her neck, savoring her softness.
For the last several days he’d been wondering what it was about Erin that preyed so heavily on his mind. After kissing her, he understood. He felt strong when he was with her. Strong emotionally. Strong physically. When they were together, he became another Samson. She gave him a feeling of being needed.
She needed him, too. She’d never admit it, of course, never deliberately tell him as much, but it was true.
“You said we needed to talk,” she reminded him. With what seemed like a good deal of effort, she moved away from him.
“Yes,” Brand answered softly, and rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “What are you doing every day for the next four days?”
“Why?” A worried look dominated her face. Then her eyes, which had been so gentle and submissive only seconds before, flashed to life with a fire that all but scorched Brand. “You don’t need to tell me. You’re only going to be in Seattle four more days.”
Chapter Four
“Why are you so angry?” Brand demanded, not understanding Erin. He was being as honest as he knew how to be with her, and she was looking at him as though he’d just announced he was an ax murderer.
“You know…You know…” She walked over to the cupboard and slammed two ceramic mugs down with enough force to crack the kitchen counter. “From the beginning you’ve known how I feel about navy men.”
“I didn’t mislead you,” he reminded her in as reasonable a tone as he could muster. “You knew from the first I was on a short assignment.”
Grudgingly she answered him with an abrupt nod.
If Brand was upset about anything, it was the fact that he’d waited so long to do as his friend Casey MacNamera had asked and checked up on the old man’s daughter. If Brand had contacted her the first week he’d arrived in Seattle, a lot of things might have worked out differently.
“Here’s your coffee.” The hot liquid sloshed over the edges of the mug when Erin set it on the glass table top.
He pulled out a beige cushioned chair and sat. His hands cupped the mug while he waited, giving Erin the time she needed to sort through her feelings.
It took her far longer than he expected. She paced the kitchen ten or fifteen times, pausing twice, her eyes revealing her confusion and her doubt. Both times she glared at him as though he’d committed unspeakable crimes. After a while, her brisk steps slowed, and she started talking to herself, mumbling something unintelligible.
“Am I forgiven?” Brand asked when she sat in the chair across the table from him.
“Sure,” she answered, giving him a weak smile. “What’s there to forgive?”
“I’m pleased you feel that way.” Because of the abrupt switch in her behavior, Brand didn’t feel as confident.
“Meeting you has…been an interesting experience” was all she’d say.
Brand felt the same way himself. “Can I see you tomorrow?”
“I’m busy.”
Brand frowned, and a sinking sensation attacked the pit of his stomach. “Doing what?”
“I don’t believe that’s any of your concern.”
Oh, boy, here it comes, he mused. “But it is. If you’re attending church services, then I’ll go with you. If you’ve promised a friend you’d help them move, then I’ll cart boxes myself.” If Erin thought the Irish could be stubborn, she had yet to butt heads with the German in him.
“Brand, please don’t make this any more difficult than it already is. I can’t change who I am for you. I told you from the first I don’t want to become involved with anyone in the military, and I meant it. I don’t know why you can’t accept that. And I don’t even want to know. You’re leaving, and when it comes right down to it, I’m glad. It’s for the best.”
“I’m stationed in Hawaii. It’s not all that—”
“I have no intention of flying off to the islands for an occasional weekend, nor can I afford to, so don’t even suggest it.”
“The only thing I was going to suggest was the two of us getting to know each other better.” He strove to sound casual, although there wasn’t a single bone in his entire body that was indifferent to Erin. She affected him far more strongly than any other woman he’d ever known. Generally he was the one seeking an out in the relationship.
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Erin sipped her coffee, more relaxed now. Centered was the term she’d used earlier, and he could see it in her. She’d made her decision, and neither hell nor high water would sway her from it.
“Will you see me again?” He didn’t like asking a second time. It went against his pride, but he was learning that when it came to Erin MacNamera he was willing to give more than with anyone else.
Her nod took a long time coming, but when it did, Brand felt the tension ease.
“On one condition,” she added.
“Name it.”
Her beautiful dark eyes found his, and he noted how lost and bewildered she looked. “What is it?”
“No more…of what happened today in the park.”
“You don’t want me to kiss you again?” Brand was sure he’d misunderstood her. They were just beginning to know each other, learn about each other, and it seemed ridiculous for them to put their relationship into a holding pattern now.
“I’m offering you my friendship, Brand, nothing more.” He wanted Erin for more than a friend, but saying so would likely cut off any chance he had with her. If those were the ground rules she was setting, then far be it for him to argue with her. He fully intended to do whatever he could to change her mind, but she’d learn that soon enough.
“All right,” he said, grinning at her. “We’ll be friends.”
“No more of that, either,” she countered sharply.
“What?” Brand hadn’t a clue what she was talking about.
“That smile. The navy could launch missiles with that smile of yours.”
Was that a fact? Brand mused. He’d have to remember that and use it often.
* * *
Agreeing to this dinner date wasn’t one of her most brilliant moves, Erin decided later. Brand was scheduled to fly out of the Whidbey Island Naval Station early the following morning. They’d talked several times by phone, but she hadn’t seen Brand since their date on Saturday afternoon.
Erin hated admitting what a good time she’d had with the lieutenant j.g. They’d toured Sand Point and had a picnic at Woodland Park Zoo, although the only animal she’d encountered was of the human variety. And something else had happened Saturday, something she kept trying to forget and couldn’t.
Brand had kissed her senseless.
It caused her cheeks to burn every time she thought about the way she’d abandoned herself in his arms. No one had ever told her kissing could be so wonderful…especially the way Brand was doing it. She felt achy and restless every time she dwelled on it. Her heart would start to beat, slow and sluggish, and the heat would start creeping through her. A warm excitement would fill her, and she could find no way of explaining it. The heat started low in her abdomen and grew into an achy restlessness that disturbed her beyond anything she’d ever experienced.
Then her breasts would start throbbing the way they had when he’d pressed her against the blanket and whispered there were other places he longed to kiss her, too. It had been all she could do not to ask him to take her nipples in his mouth…She wished he had—which was a crazy idea, since they’d been in a public place.
It wouldn’t have stopped there. Erin knew that as well as she knew her own name.
Brand awoke carnal instincts in her. She’d never guessed she was capable of feeling sensual sensations as strong as this. Erin had always assumed she knew herself well. Apparently that wasn’t the case after all. Not if Brand could evoke such an overwhelming reaction in her with a series of wet kisses.
The doorbell chimed, and, inhaling softly, she braced herself, walked across the living room and opened the front door to Brand.
“Hi.” His gaze gave her an appreciative sweep. “Are you ready?”
She nodded. Damn, it was good to see him again. She hated to admit that much, and she gave herself a quick mental shake. Somehow, someway, she was going to get through this evening, and once she did it would be over between them. He could go his way and she could go hers, and never the twain would meet.
Once they were in the car, Erin suggested a Mexican restaurant that was less than a mile from her house. The food was good and cheap. All Erin was looking to do was to survive this evening with her heart intact.
The walls of the El Lindo were made of white stucco and decorated with several huge sombreros in bright shades of turquoise and gold. Erin studied the pictures on the wall, which were displayed in wide, bulky frames, in an effort to avoid looking at Brand. She dared not allow her eyes to meet his for fear of reviving memories from their last encounter.
“So where are you headed to next?” she asked, making sure her voice contained just the right amount of friendliness. A tortilla chip commanded her full attention as she dipped it in salsa.
“Probably San Francisco.”
“When?” It felt good to have the upper hand in the conversation, Erin mused.
“Soon. A month or two from now, maybe less. Have you been there?”
“I don’t think there are more than a handful of naval bases where I haven’t been.” She made light of the fact, when in reality it was a source of fierce bitterness. The comment was made with just enough sarcasm for Brand to recognize she wouldn’t return to that lifestyle again for anything or anyone in the world, including him. He must have gotten the message, because his face tightened into a frown.
Erin ordered the cheese-and-onion enchiladas, her favorite, and Brand asked for the chili verde. Both dinners were excellent, and they lingered over coffee, talking about a variety of bland but safe subjects. Brand told her about his two best friends, Alex Romano and Catherine Fredrickson. Like him, Alex was a surface warfare officer. Catherine was an attorney. All three had been stationed in Hawaii for four years.
When Brand pulled into the driveway in front of her house, her hand was already on the handle. She had a farewell, so-glad-we-had-this-chance-to-meet talk all prepared, but she wasn’t allowed to say one word of it.
Brand reached across the seat and gripped her hand. “Invite me in for coffee.”
“We just finished having a cup.”
“Invite me in anyway.”
“I…don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“Yes, it is. Trust me.”
“All right.” But she wasn’t pleased about it.
She led the way into her compact home. Buying a house was one of the first things she’d done after being hired for the Community Action Program. The payments were high, but Erin didn’t mind the sacrifice, because for the first time in her life she didn’t have to worry about being forced to move. No one was going to casually announce it was time to relocate. She didn’t need to worry that everything she owned was going to be stripped away from her almost overnight.
For the first time in her life, she was planting roots. They weren’t as deep as she wanted, not yet, but she intended for them to be. This home was hers and hers alone. It was her security, her defense, her shelter. Falling crazy in love with a navy man would threaten everything she’d strived to build for herself in the past several years, and she adamantly refused to allow it to happen.
Once they were inside, Erin turned on the lights and pointed to the bulky stuffed chair angled in front of the television. “Make yourself comfortable. Would you like some coffee?”
“Please.”
Brand followed her into the kitchen. “We’ve avoided the subject all evening,” he said, standing directly behind her. He wasn’t actually pinning her against the counter, but he made it plain he could if he wanted to.
“We don’t need to talk about it.”
“We do,” he countered swiftly. “I’m leaving. Trust me, I don’t want to go, but I am. It’s part of my job. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I will be.”
She tried to look as uninterested as she could. “Look me up when you do,” she said flippantly.
Brand frowned anew. “Erin MacNamera, that wasn’t nice.”
“I apologize.” She didn’t completely understand what she’d said th
at was so wrong. If Brand thought she was going to sit around moping for him, he was dead wrong.
Yes, she enjoyed his company, and when he left she’d miss him for a while, but after a week or so she wouldn’t give him more than the occasional fleeting thought.
“Kiss me,” Brand instructed.
Erin’s heart went still. She’d prefer leaping off the Tacoma Narrows Bridge to granting Brand Davis the privileges she had the day of their picnic. He might as well ask her to light a stick of dynamite and wave it around for everyone to see what a fool she was.
She tried to break away from him. “I can’t…I have no intention of kissing you.”
“Just once, to say goodbye.”
“Brand…”
His hands drifted up and down her lifeless arms, bringing her against him. Erin didn’t know who moved, him or her.
“If you won’t kiss me, then you leave me no choice but to kiss you.” He angled his head to one side and placed his moist, hot mouth over hers.
The kiss was unbearably good; it was all Erin could do not to melt at his feet. Somehow she managed to stand stiff and straight, not granting him an inch.
Brand appeared unconcerned by her lack of response. He drew her wrists up and placed her hands around his neck, then locked his own arms tight around her waist, lifting her against him.
Erin didn’t want to respond, had promised herself she wouldn’t, but before she knew what was happening her lips had parted and her tongue was eagerly searching out his. If only he weren’t so gentle. So tender and generous. Erin felt as if she were drowning in sheer ecstasy. She moaned, and the sound seemed to encourage Brand all the more.
He kissed her again and again, and it was even better than his lovemaking had been in the park. Even more wonderful, and she hadn’t thought that was possible. Brand’s kisses were long and deep, and before she knew it Erin was clinging to him mindlessly.
He released her slowly, letting her slide down his front. Once her feet were firmly planted on the floor, his hand closed over her breast. Erin whimpered—it was a soft sound of pleasure—as he battled with the buttons of her silk blouse, peeling it open. He unfastened her bra and filled his palms with her lush fullness. His sigh went through her like a spear, and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep from reacting.