“I…I’m not exactly sure. I started feeling pains earlier this afternoon.”
“Why didn’t you say something? I’m your husband—you should have told me.” He sounded so angry, and with good reason, she supposed; but that didn’t restrain the tears from flooding her eyes, brimming and spilling down her face.
“I’m sorry,” he added quickly, once he viewed her distress. “I didn’t mean to shout. It’s just that…”
“I’m the one who’s sorry,” she said between sniffles. “I feel just dreadful putting everyone through this trouble for…for a case of nerves.”
“Nerves,” Riley bellowed loud enough to shake the windows. He slumped back down into the chair and rubbed his hand down his face. “Nerves,” he repeated, as if he hadn’t heard her correctly the first time.
“Hey, buddy,” the corpsman said, walking abruptly into the room, “I told you before, you’re going to have to move your car. You’re blocking the roadway.”
Riley looked at him as though seeing a ghost, then turned back to Hannah. “Are they going to let you come home?”
She nodded eagerly. “The doctor gave me something to settle my stomach, but he wants to check me in another ten minutes and see how I’m feeling.”
“You gonna move that car? Or are you going to force us to tow it away?”
“I’ll move it,” Riley answered without looking at the impatient corpsman. Riley paused long enough to kiss Hannah, shook his head and then turned and walked away.
She might have imagined it—in fact Hannah was sure she had—but as her husband started out the door, she thought she’d heard him mumble something about indigestion and God not playing fair.
* * *
Sunday morning the alarm woke Hannah. She reached out, turned off the buzzer and pulled the blankets over her shoulders, wrapping them around her.
Three days had passed since her episode at the hospital, and she still hadn’t forgiven herself for creating such a terrible fuss and alarming Riley the way she had. He’d taken it all in good humor, teasing her about it, but always in fun, being careful not to embarrass her.
They were much more at ease with each other now. The terrible tension that had existed between them the first awkward weeks of their marriage had disappeared.
As she lay in bed, savoring the warmth, she mulled over the strange events of the past few days. Riley had been so gentle with her, solicitous, making few demands on her.
Too few.
She’d hoped once he’d returned from sea duty that he’d say something or make some token gesture toward inviting her into his bed.
Thus far it hadn’t happened. If Hannah were more worldly or a bit more sophisticated, she would have approached him herself. But she’d hoped her husband would make it apparent that he wanted the two of them sharing a bed. Perhaps she’d ruined everything early on when he’d asked her to make love and she’d callously rejected him. A hundred times since, Hannah had regretted it. She’d been so foolish. Her pride was hurting them both.
Perhaps Riley, disgusted by her attitude, didn’t intend to ask her again. Perhaps he was waiting for her to voluntarily come to him. She mulled over the thought several moments, wondering how she’d go about it. Should she broach the subject herself? Hannah didn’t know how she’d do it without becoming flustered and red-faced.
While he’d been at sea, she’d often gone shopping with Cheryl. One Saturday, a week before the men were due home, the two had gone into a lingerie shop at the Kitsap Mall. Cheryl had bought a skimpy black nightie with a fur hem. She’d joked that the hem was there to keep her neck warm.
While they’d been in the shop, a lovely peach-colored silk gown had caught Hannah’s eye. Cheryl had convinced Hannah it was perfect with her coloring, and with a little encouragement from the saleslady, Hannah had purchased the gown.
The night before, she’d trifled with the idea of putting it on for Riley. She hadn’t, caving in to her insecurities instead, convinced her pregnancy was too advanced to be sexy.
Sexy. She smiled to herself. Women who were nearly six months pregnant weren’t seductive looking no matter what they wore to entice their husbands. No, the peach gown wouldn’t work at this late date. She needed something else—something that would convince her husband she wanted him. Only she wasn’t sure what.
“Hannah?” Riley knocked politely at her door. “Are you up?”
“Not yet,” she answered, surprised that he was.
“You’d best hurry or you’ll be late for church.”
He was right, although she hated to crawl out of a toasty bed. She didn’t have time to dally this Sunday. After Riley had gone to sea, she’d joined the church choir and had been asked to sing a solo for the first service.
With a limited wardrobe to choose from, Hannah shed her nightclothes and slipped the olive-green street-length dress over her head and adjusted the waistband. In another couple of weeks, she wouldn’t be able to wear this one, either. Sighing, she ambled out to the kitchen, pleasantly surprised to find the coffee brewed and waiting for her.
“You’re up bright and early,” she said to her husband, bringing down a mug.
He nodded, more interested in reading the Sunday paper than conversing with her. Hannah watered down her coffee with a generous portion of milk, then carried it into the bathroom with her while she worked her hair into a French plait.
When she’d finished, she went back into her bedroom for her coat. Normally she fixed herself something small to eat—a piece of toast with a piece of fruit—but she didn’t want anything to coat her vocal cords before she sang.
Buttoning up her coat, she reached for her purse, prepared to leave the house. As she walked through the living room, Riley set aside the morning paper and stood. He was dressed in slacks and a sweater.
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yes.” Hannah wasn’t sure she understood. It wasn’t until they were in the car that it dawned on her that Riley meant to attend the church service with her.
* * *
His wife continued to amaze Riley. He’d been taken by surprise when she had stood in the middle of the church service, following the communion meditation, and approached the piano. She slipped onto the mahogany bench and skillfully ran her fingertips over the keyboard. Riley hadn’t had a clue she could sing, any more than he’d been aware that she possessed such extraordinary talent at the piano. As he’d sat back and listened to her hauntingly beautiful voice, his heart had filled with a renewed sense of appreciation for the incredibly gifted woman he’d married. The poignant words of the song had touched him in ways that were completely foreign, and he’d sat for several moments afterward, pondering their meaning.
Following the worship service, he’d suggested they go out to breakfast.
“Why didn’t you tell me you could sing like that?”
Hannah finished spreading jelly on her toast before she answered. “You never asked.”
He frowned and reached for the syrup. “How long have you been playing the piano?”
She shrugged. “I started lessons when I was about six, maybe seven. I don’t remember. My mother was the pianist for the church until she died, and I took over for her.”
“I had no idea you were so gifted.”
“Oh, Riley. Honestly, you make it sound like I’m another Chopin or something.”
“You’re damn good. Have you ever thought of doing anything with your music?”
She smiled sweetly up at him and shook her head. “Heavens no. I played the piano because, well, because it was expected of me. Don’t misunderstand me. I love it—in fact I miss it quite a lot. But music isn’t my life.”
Riley thought about this and nodded when the waitress came by with the coffeepot to refill his cup. “Are there any other talents you possess that I don’t know about?”
Hannah mulled that over and shrugged once more. “I’m quite a good seamstress.”
“Where’s your sewing machine?”
?
??I left it at my father’s house when we…married. I was hoping to pick it up over Christmas. You might have noticed the stack of material I’ve been buying lately. It’s on the floor in the bedroom. I’ve got to do something about clothes.”
“Buy yourself anything you want,” he offered, not understanding why she hadn’t before now. It was apparent she was growing out of almost everything she owned.
“It’s much cheaper to make them, and I enjoy it.”
“Will you have the time?”
“Yes, Mr. Worrywart.”
She grinned, and Riley swore he could drown in her eyes. She’d smile, and his heart would melt. She had the uncanny talent for making him feel like a schoolboy—flustered and inexperienced. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her. He’d practically given up drinking, and he hadn’t even noticed. With the exception of Steve, he was losing touch with his friends. There wasn’t anyone he’d rather spend time with than Hannah.
There were problems, however. He wasn’t keen on them maintaining separate bedrooms. He wanted her sleeping by his side. Damn it all to hell, that was where she belonged. He just hadn’t figured out how he was going to get her there. The first night he’d been home, she’d been rummy with the medication the doctor had given her and had fallen asleep on the return trip from the hospital. The following afternoon he’d been assigned duty and she was in bed asleep by the time he arrived home. Asleep in her own bed.
“If it’s all right with you, I thought we’d leave for Seattle about two o’clock Christmas Eve,” she said, interrupting his thoughts.
“Sure,” Riley answered, cutting a fat link sausage with the side of his fork. “That’ll be fine.”
“Dad’s anxious to see us both. I’ve missed him.”
Riley nodded, preoccupied. “It might be a good idea if we go shopping soon for a crib and whatever else we’re going to need.”
“Already?”
“I’d like to have everything set up for the baby before the middle of January.”
“Why?” She stopped eating, setting her fork down as she studied him.
The apprehension in her eyes ate at him like battery acid. “I’ll be away again. This time until April.”
She swallowed tightly. “The baby’s due the middle of March.”
“I know. I won’t be here, Hannah. I’d give anything to be with you, but I can’t.”
“I…know,” she admitted reluctantly. “But don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Cheryl volunteered to be my birthing partner…but I wish it could be you.”
“I wish it could be, too.” More than she’d ever know, but it wouldn’t do any good to stew about it. Several of his peers had become first-time fathers while out at sea. He’d do it, too, although it didn’t sit right with him to have Hannah go through the delivery and birth without him there.
“Would you like to do some Christmas shopping this afternoon?” Riley asked, hoping to lighten the mood.
Her nod was eager. “I love Christmas. I guess I’m just a little kid at heart.”
“We all are when it comes to receiving presents,” Riley murmured. Until recently he hadn’t a clue what he should buy for Hannah, but he’d inadvertently stumbled upon the perfect gift for his wife. Now, all he had to do was keep it a secret for the next three weeks.
* * *
“Dad!” Hannah called out as she stepped into her childhood home, feeling engulfed in its warmth and welcome. “We’re here.”
George Raymond stepped out from the den, a pair of wire-rimmed glasses perched on the end of his nose. He wore slacks, a shirt and the old gray wool sweater she’d knitted for him several years back. His smile was broad and automatic as he spied Hannah and Riley just inside the front door.
“Welcome, welcome,” he greeted, holding open his arms. He gave Hannah an enthusiastic hug and exchanged hearty handshakes with Riley.
“Let me get a good look at you,” her father said excitedly, stepping back to examine her.
Hannah couldn’t help but blush. She removed her coat and hung it in the hall closet, self-conscious the whole time of how prominent her pregnancy was becoming. A little nervous, as well, knowing she’d be confronting members of her father’s congregation. It wouldn’t take long for anyone to realize she’d been several months pregnant when she married Riley.
“I’m getting so fat,” she murmured, resting her hands on her bulging stomach.
“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you more beautiful,” he told her thoughtfully. “My goodness, girl! You look more like your mother every day.”
“Where would you like me to put these things?” Riley asked. He’d returned to the car and had carted back an armload of goods Hannah had insisted they bring.
“Oh, my goodness, I forgot about the pies. In here,” she said, directing Riley toward the kitchen.
He followed her into the country-style kitchen and set the flat boxes that contained the pumpkin and apple pies on the countertop. “I swear you packed enough food to feed an army,” he chastised. But she noted he wasn’t complaining too loudly since she’d baked the apple pie especially for him.
“Dad wouldn’t have known what to have ready,” she explained for the sixth time. She’d gone grocery shopping the day before, picking up everything they’d need for Christmas dinner. Her father had relied on her to cook the main meal at Christmas for so many years, she doubted that he knew what to have on hand. Rather than leave it to chance, she’d brought everything with her, much to Riley’s chagrin.
As Riley and her father carried everything inside, she sorted through the grocery sacks, tucking several items inside the cupboards.
It felt good to be home again, Hannah mused. She felt keenly the warmth of her father’s welcome, although she’d had mixed feelings about this visit for several weeks.
Oh, she was pleased to see her father again. They’d spoken regularly on the phone, taking turns contacting each other, and he’d been the one to suggest she and Riley make the two-hour trip to Seattle for the Christmas holiday.
Hannah had agreed without giving the invitation a second thought. It wasn’t until much later that she realized it would be difficult to hide her pregnancy. Although most everyone in her father’s congregation was kind and loving, there were sure to be some who’d feel it was their God-given duty to point out that she’d married much too quickly and quietly after losing Jerry; and when they noticed her stomach, they’d know why.
Jerry.
Funny, she hadn’t thought about her late fiancé in weeks. Although he was never far from her mind, the love she felt for him seemed far removed from the life she shared with Riley now. Jerry would always be someone special in her life and in her heart, but he was gone. Without her ever realizing it, the emptiness she’d experienced in the grief-filled weeks following his death had come to be filled with the love that had flourished for Riley and their child.
Even so, someone was bound to mention Jerry during her visit, and she wasn’t sure how Riley would react when it happened.
The weeks since his return from the training cruise had been idyllic—so perfect that she didn’t want to risk ruining the fragile peace between them.
“Hannah, my goodness!” her father called out from the living room. “So many gifts.”
She left the kitchen to find Riley bent under the Christmas tree, unloading two shopping bags filled with brightly wrapped gifts.
“Ho, ho, ho,” he teased, grinning up at her.
“What’s that?” she asked, noticing a large square box she hadn’t seen before.
Riley tucked it at the back of the tree, out of her reach. “Never you mind.”
“The candlelight service is at seven,” her father reminded them.
Hannah glanced at her watch. “I’d better change my clothes now,” she said, heading toward the stairway.
“I put your suitcases in your old room,” her father called out after her. Hannah stopped midstep and glanced back at her husband, her eyes wide with apprehension.
br /> Riley read her look and followed her up the stairs. “What’s wrong?” he asked, once they were out of earshot of the living room.
“Dad doesn’t know,” she whispered, hating the way color crept into her cheeks.
“Know what?”
Rather than go into a long explanation, she climbed to the top of the stairs and opened her bedroom door for him to see for himself. Inside sat two suitcases: one belonging to her and the other to Riley.
“Dad assumes we’re sleeping together,” she said. “If we don’t…he might think something is wrong. Would you mind very much, Riley, just for tonight?”
He paused just inside the room, and his eyes slowly found hers. “No, Hannah,” he told her after a while. “I don’t mind at all.”
Chapter Ten
Riley couldn’t be more pleased at this turn of events. His own father-in-law had inadvertently laid the groundwork Riley had been impatiently waiting weeks to arrange. Hannah and he would be sharing a bed for the first time since their marriage nearly three months past. It was all Riley could do not to wear a silly grin.
“Will you be joining us for the candlelight service?” George Raymond asked Riley once he was back downstairs.
Personally, Riley hadn’t given the matter much thought. He’d been attending services with Hannah for the past few Sundays and was surprised to find church wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d assumed. The sermons had practical applications to everyday life. He listened carefully, hoping to gain insight into Hannah’s personality. And into his own.
“Hannah told me you’d been going to church with her lately,” George added, wearing a proud look, as though he’d always known his daughter would turn Riley’s life around. “I’m pleased to hear it.”
Riley nodded, swallowing down a sarcastic reply; but one good turn deserved another, and his father-in-law had gotten Hannah into his bed—a feat Riley had been attempting for weeks. Christmas Eve candlelight service, however, seemed above and beyond the call of duty.