This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.
Text copyright © 2010 by Megan McDonald
Cover and interior illustrations copyright © 2010 by Peter H. Reynolds
Stink®. Stink is a registered trademark of Candlewick Press, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.
First electronic edition 2010
The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows:
McDonald, Megan.
Stink : solar system superhero / Megan McDonald. — 1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: When Stink discovers that Pluto has been downgraded from a planet, he launches a campaign in his classroom to restore its status to that of a full-fledged member of the solar system.
ISBN 978-0-7636-4321-8 (hardcover)
[1. Pluto (Dwarf planet) — Fiction. 2. Schools — Fiction. 3. Humorous stories.]
I. Title.
PZ7.M478419Ssz 2010
[Fic] — dc22 2008037106
ISBN 97807636-4352-2 (paperback)
ISBN 978-0-7636-5192-3 (electronic)
The illustrations for this book were created digitally.
Candlewick Press
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Somerville, Massachusetts 02144
visit us at www.candlewick.com
CONTENTS
Move Over, Saturn
Vroom! Vroom!
Extra Credit
Miss Space Camp Know-It-All
Jupiter Jerks
Short Stuff
Urp!
No-Good, Rotten Recess
Pluto Rising
Flub!
Flop!
Flunk!
Stink Moody had to take a test. A super science test. A solar system test. He had to learn all the planets . . . by tomorrow!
Stink went to find his big sister. He sure hoped Judy wasn’t in a mood. If Judy was moody, Stink hoped it was a help-your-little-brother-study-for-his-test mood.
There were nine whole planets, and Stink only knew about one. The one in the S encyclopedia: Saturn. You might even say Stink was a Super Saturn Expert.
Saturn had rings and moons and was made of gas (hardee-har-har). Saturn could float like an ice cube in a giant’s bathtub (if you just happened to know any giants). Saturn could spin so fast, it looked flat as a silver-dollar pancake, Stink’s favorite food on Earth-not-Saturn.
One year on Saturn took 29 Earth years. If Stink was 7 on Saturn, that would make him 203 years old on Earth! Way older than Judy!
Stink found Judy in her room, on her top bunk, making a picture out of Already-Been-Chewed gum.
“What’s that?” Stink asked.
“It’s a Venus flytrap made out of ABC gum,” said Judy.
“You know what would be even cooler?”
“What?” Judy asked.
“A picture of Saturn made out of ABC gum,” said Stink.
“Who cares about Saturn?”
“Me,” said Stink. “But now I have to care about eight other planets, too.”
“Huh?” Judy looked up from her ABC-gum art.
Stink held up his science book. “I have a test tomorrow. A big fat test on the planets. Will you help me study?”
“No way, Stinkerbell,” said Judy. “Can’t you see? I’m way busy.”
“But you’re so smart,” said Stink, buttering her up.
“That’s not what you said when I had to get a math tutor.”
“But you’ve been to second grade, right?”
“Stink, I’ve been to college!”
“See? I need somebody super smart, smarter than second grade. I need somebody college-smart to quiz me.”
“Do I get to boss you around?”
“Sure,” said Stink.
“Do I get to yell ‘Hardee-har-har’ if you flunk?”
“I’m not going to flunk,” said Stink, “because you, my super-smart sister, are going to help me.” He pushed the science book over to Judy.
Judy flipped through the book. “Name the nine planets.”
“Too hard,” said Stink.
“You have to know the names of the planets. Mrs. D. is going to ask that for sure. Think, Stink.”
Stink closed his eyes. “Saturn . . . Jupiter . . . Earth . . . Pluto, and that one that comes before Pluto.”
“Stink, good thing you have me, your brainy big sister, to teach you. My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas.”
“I thought Dad was making us spaghetti.”
“No, Stink. That’s how you remember the planets. The first letter of each word in the sentence stands for a planet. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.”
“My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas!” said Stink.
“Your very excellent father is just about to serve spaghetti,” said Dad, coming into Judy’s room. “C’mon, you two. Time for dinner.”
“I was just teaching Stink how to remember the planets,” said Judy. “Like ROY G. BIV helps you remember all the colors of the rainbow. Mr. Todd says it’s called a moronic.”
“I think the word is mnemonic,” said Dad.
“Who thought that up?” said Judy.
“Some moron,” said Stink. He and Judy cracked up all the way to the dinner table.
The next day after school, Stink sat on his race-car bed. He stared at the page with all the Pluto questions. He stared at the big fat red X, as big as the Great White Spot on Saturn.
Stink wished he could zoom away on that car bed. Down the stairs and out of the house and up the road and into outer space. He wished his race-car bed would rocket him all the way to the rings of Saturn.
He might as well move to another planet. Anywhere but Pluto.
“What’s wrong?” Judy asked when she saw his sour-ball face.
Stink held up his test. He pointed to the big fat red X.
“Did you flunk? For real?” Judy asked, grinning.
“You know that thing you taught me? Well, guess what? My very excellent mother DID NOT Serve Nine Pizzas.”
“What did she serve?”
“Nothing. Zero. Zip. T. I. N. P. There. Is. No. Pizza.”
“What do you mean, there’s no pizza?”
“There’s no letter P. Because there’s no Pluto.”
“How can there be no Pluto? Where did it go?”
“It’s still up there, but it’s not a planet anymore. There are only eight planets now.”
“Stink, they can’t just take away a whole entire planet. That would mess with the whole entire solar system.”
“Well, they did. Ask Mrs. D. She said Pluto is too small, and it has a weird orbit. Besides, they found something bigger, so they flunked it. Voted it off the island. Kicked it out of the solar system. Pluto is gonzo.”
“Who’s they?” asked Judy.
“Big important science guys. One day, the President of Outer Space had a big meeting and everybody voted and Pluto got kicked out, so it’s not one of the nine planets anymore.”
“What is it?”
“A dwarf planet.”
“A dwarf planet! So now are they going to call it Grumpy? Or Dopey?”
“No, but they are going to call it Number 134340.”
“What? That stinks on ice,” said Judy. “I can’t believe Mr. Todd didn’t tell us. This is big. Really big! How come Mrs. D. didn’t tell you?”
r /> “I guess she did. But I don’t think I was even in the room. I think I was at the nurse’s office getting my hearing checked.”
“Well, you better get it checked again if you didn’t hear your teacher say they kicked a whole entire planet out of outer space.”
“Pluto’s my favorite, too.”
“Wait. I thought Saturn was your favorite.”
“Next to Saturn, I mean.”
“What’s so great about Pluto, anyway?”
“Jupiter’s the biggest and Mars is the reddest and Venus is the hottest and —”
“Oh, I get it. Pluto is the smallest planet in the solar system, isn’t it? And you’re the shortest kid in your class. You’re both puny. Instead of Pluto, they should call it Punk-o.”
“Nah-uh!”
“You just like Pluto because it’s so cute-o.”
“Hardee-har-har. This is serious. What am I going to do?”
“Face it, Stink. The time has come to find another second-favorite planet.”
“But I mean, what about my test? Maybe I can talk to my teacher. But what if she doesn’t let me take it over?”
“Talk to her, Stink. You’ll just have to explain what happened.”
“Easy for you to say. Your teacher isn’t a big fat Pluto Meanie.”
“Science time!” said Mrs. D. “Let’s go over your tests.”
Stink took out his test. He tried to cover up the big red X on the Pluto page with his elbow, in case Nick, the new kid in front of him, turned around.
Stink stared at the back of the new kid. His head looked a little like a small, almost-round planet.
Just then, Mrs. D. got a call from the principal. “Okay, class. Everybody take out your math workbooks and open to page 101. Keep working while I go talk with Ms. Tuxedo.”
“Teacher got sent to the principal’s office!” somebody snickered.
Planet Head Nick turned around. Nick showed Stink his test. Nick had a big fat red X on the Pluto page, just like Stink.
“I got skunked!” said Planet Head.
“Me too!” said Stink, lifting up his elbow.
“At my old school,” said Nick, “Pluto was still a planet. This is so not fair.”
“Tell me about it. I was with the nurse getting my ears checked when Mrs. D. told about the NO PLUTO rule. And nobody, not even my best friends, Webster and Sophie of the Elves, told me.”
“You can call me Skunk, by the way,” said Nick.
“And you can call me Stink,” said Stink. “I thought I was the only person on the planet with a smelly name.”
“Nope. And guess what? I like smelly stuff, just like my name.”
“Me too!” said Stink.
“I was in a smelly-sneaker contest at my old school,” said Skunk.
“No way!” said Stink. “I got to judge a super-smelly-sneaker contest.”
“I smelled a durian fruit one time,” said Skunk. “It’s like the way-worst smell in the world.”
“P.U.,” said Stink. “I want to smell a corpse flower someday.”
“Freaky-deaky,” said Skunk.
“Double freaky-deaky,” said Stink.
“At my old school,” said Skunk, “back when there were still nine planets in the solar system, my science book had this neat trick about how to remember them.”
“My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas!” Stink and Skunk said at the same time.
“Now they’ll have to think up a new one,” said Skunk, “without the P for Pluto.”
“Let’s see. . . .” said Stink. “How about, My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nothing!” Skunk cracked up.
“My Very Excellent Mother Just Said U Nerd!” Sophie said, joining.
“Many Vampires Eat Mothballs Just So U Know,” piped up Webster.
“Those aren’t even the right letters!” said Skunk, chuckling.
“Many Vampires —” said Webster.
“Eat Macaroni Jelly Sandwiches —” said Sophie.
“Unless Naked,” Stink finished.
Skunk laughed. “Hey! That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Wait. I got it!” said Stink. “My Very Educated Monkey Just Spoke Utter Nonsense.”
“Good one,” said Skunk. “You get extra credit for that one.”
“I wish,” said Stink. “Hey, we should make up a new saying for real to remember the planets, including the three dwarf planets.”
“You mean Ceres, Pluto, and Eris, too?” asked Sophie.
“My brother says there’s another one too, called Makemake,” said Webster.
Stink’s head was spinning. He wrote eleven letters across the top of his notebook:
Then scribbled down words:
My Very Eager Mad Cat Just Scratched Up Nose-Picking Earwigs.
Now Sophie and Webster tried.
My Very Edible Macaroni Cheese Just Spit Up Nasty Puking Eyeballs.
Stink and Skunk howled then put their heads together and came up with another saying.
My Very Energized Mystery Car Just Shot Under Nine Police Escorts.
“That is so way good,” said Sophie.
When Mrs. D. came back, kids were talking loud and letting the class guinea pigs run loose and shooting hoops in the trash can. Mrs. D. blinked the lights. She clapped her hands five times. Class 2D took their seats and clapped their hands five times in response.
“Did anybody solve any problems while I was gone?” asked Mrs. D.
Nobody said a word. Stink passed a note to his friends. Many Virginia Excited Math Children Just Screwed Up Not Practicing Education!
Skunk shot his hand up. “We did. Stink and I solved a problem.”
“Good for you,” said Mrs. D. “Which one was it?”
“The Pluto Problem.”
“The Pluto Problem?” Mrs. D. flipped through the pages of her Teachers’ Edition math book.
“It’s not a math problem. It’s a science problem.”
“Even better,” said Mrs. D. “It’s time for science anyway.”
Stink and Skunk told the class all about the new saying they made up. Riley Rottenberger raised her right hand. She was wearing a shirt that said SPACE CADET and calling, “Ooh! Ooh!” like she had a major stomachache.
“Riley? Did you have something you wanted to say?”
By now Mrs. D. should have known that Riley Rottenberger always had something to say.
“There’s a real saying for the dwarf planets,” said Riley. “A girl made it up and won a contest, and it isn’t about a mystery car or police. It’s, My Very Excellent Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Palace Elephants.”
“Thanks for letting us know, Riley. That’s very creative. Stink and Skunk came up with a creative sentence, too.”
Riley shrugged and made a sour-ball face.
“Boys, come see me after class,” said Mrs. D. “and see what we can do about those red Xs.”
The next day, Stink was sitting at his own desk minding his own business when Riley Rottenberger waltzed past, showing off her new T-shirt. It did not say SPACE CADET. It did not say SPACE OUT AT SPACE CAMP. It said PLUTO IS DEAD.
“Who is that?” asked Skunk.
“Rotten Riley Rottenberger, aka Miss Know-It-All.”
Riley turned around. She fake-smiled at Stink and Skunk. “When is a planet not a planet?” she asked them.
“When it’s Grumpy?” said Stink.
“When it’s Sneezy?” said Skunk.
“No, when it’s PLUTO!” said Riley, cackling all the way to her desk.
“Pluto is SO a planet,” said Stink. “A dwarf planet.”
He turned to Skunk. “She thinks she’s so great ’cause she got to go to Space Camp.”
“For your information, Pluto is not a planet anymore,” said Riley. “Don’t you guys know anything? Oh, I forgot. You never went to Space Camp!”
Riley was right. Stink had never been to Space Camp. He had never tried on a space suit (except one made out of aluminum foil in p
reschool). And he never got to see inside a spaceship (except the cardboard-box kind).
“Did you get to ride in the gravity chair?” Skunk asked Riley.
“And the Five Degrees of Freedom Chair,” said Riley. “It floats on air.” Stink wished he had Five Degrees of Freedom from Riley Rottenberger.
“Don’t ask her questions,” Stink warned, “or she’ll never, ever stop.”
“Why didn’t Saturn want to sit next to Jupiter?” Skunk asked anyway.
“Why?” asked Riley.
“Because Jupiter had a lot of gas,” said Skunk, holding his nose.
“Hey, no fart jokes in class,” said Miss Know-It-All. “Mrs. D. said.”
“I have one,” said Stink. He couldn’t help himself. “Why didn’t Saturn’s mom want him to take a bath?”
“Why?” said Skunk.
“Because he always left rings in the bathtub!”
“Good one!” said Skunk. Riley ignored them.
“Time to get into groups,” said Mrs. D. Stink was on a team with Webster and Sophie of the Elves. He asked Skunk to join them. Each team was making a model of the solar system.
Stink and his team were using Styrofoam balls for the planets. They dipped hunks of raw wool in soapy water. Once the wool was stretchy, they shaped it around each ball to form the outer surface of the planet.
Riley’s team was making planets out of fancy clay.
Riley leaned over and pointed to the tiny ball in Stink’s hand. “What’s that?”
“What does it look like? It’s the planet Pluto. ”
“Stink Moody,” said Riley, “how many times do I have to tell you? THERE IS NO PLANET PLUTO.”
“Is too,” said Stink.
“Is not.”
“Is so too.”
“Riley, turn around,” Webster said. “You’re not even on our team.”
“I don’t see why everybody’s so down on Pluto,” mumbled Stink, adding a touch of purple-gray to his planet. “Pluto’s cool. It might be small, but it doesn’t just do what all the other planets do. It has its own orbit.”